Chapter 3 A.K.A Sailin'
Twilight looked around the dock. Her friends were nowhere to be found, and it was just a few seconds to noon.
"Hey Twilight! We're here!" shouted Pinkie Pie, appearing out of nowhere along with Rainbow Dash. As Twilight turned around to greet them, Rarity came up from behind her along with Fluttershy.
"So Twilight, we're here. What do we do now?" asked Fluttershy.
"Well, now that we're here, we just buy tickets and sail to Great Britail, find that penguin and interrogate him. I thought I explained that."
"Yeah sugarcube, but ah mean, th' ship only sails once a year from this 'ere dock. How d'you think we're gonna sail now?" asked Rarity, and everypony looked at her.
"Is that Applejack's hat you're wearing? And what's with the accent?" asked Rainbow Dash.
"Aye, it's Appl'jack's ol' stetson hat, but ah don't get what the hay you mean by acc'nt. I ain't speakin' in no acc'nt. Y'all should stop speakin' weird." said Rarity.
"Oh...kay. Well, we're stuck here without a ship. We're definitely not going to find out what happened to Applejack and, now, Rarity if we don't find a ship." said Twilight.
"What about 'The Flying Dutchmare' ? You know, that ship just beside the dock that is perfectly functional but everypony thinks it's haunted because there have been mysterious disappearances around it so nopony wants to use it?" asked Pinkie. Twilight scratched her chin.
"I don't know Pinkie... None of us knows how to use a ship, so we can't really take it, can we?" asked Twilight.
"Don't worry. I'm sure we'll figure something out once we're on it. We could at least give it a try." said Pinkie.
"Well Pinkie, got any ideas on how we use this thing?" asked Twilight, pointing at the helm while Pinkie looked around herself.
"Maybe we should check what's below the deck. There could be some instructions."
"Yeah... maybe we should."
The team of five split up to search the rooms.
Fluttershy entered a long corridor filled with cabins. As she passed them one by one, pale figures started entering the corridor through the doors and creeping up behind her. She finally walked to the end and, seeing no open doors, turned back.
"Hello, poppet." said one of the ghostly ponies.
"Oh... hello there."
"Would ye care to tell us why ye entered our ship?"
"Well, we wanted to take this ship and sail to Great Britail and find out why our friend got a weird speech change... that is, if it's okay with you..." she said quietly, putting on her cutest face.
"I, uh... we, uh... sure, go ahead, take the ship." he said.
In a flash of a second Fluttershy's face turned from cute to psycho, "You're damn right we're gonna take it! And you better not get in our way or else I'll make your afterlives as miserable as it is possible!" she shouted, scaring the ghosts and causing them to disappear back into walls.
Then she looked around herself, "Hmm... I wonder what happened? Why are all the nice ghost ponies gone?" she asked herself before going back to the top of the ship.
Pinkie Pie entered a huge room which was labelled 'Zee Captain's Room" and started looking around. She found nothing interesting except for a huge tricorne hat with a feather on it.
"Oh! What's this? It looks nice!" she said, picking it up.
"So... found anything?" asked Twilight as she, Fluttershy, Rarity and Rainbow Dash regrouped by the main mast.
"Nothin' interestin' 'ere sugarcube." said Rarity.
"I found a... a storage- a storage rum full of room..." said Rainbow Dash, swaying from one side to the other.
"I met some ghost ponies but they said it's okay to take the ship..." said Fluttershy.
"I only found sea charts and a compass, but that's not helpful if we can't get the ship into the open sea." said Twilight.
With loud hoofsteps, Pinkie Pie appeared behind them. Twilight turned around to face her.
"Did you have any luck finding instructions how to sail, Pinkie?" asked Twilight.
Pinkie looked at her, raising her hoof to fix the tricorne hat on her head, "There be no need fer instructions Ms. Sparkle. Just follow the orders of yer captain and we'll hit Great Britail in 30 days or less."
Before Twilight could reply, Pinkie hopped behind the helm, "From this moment, this ship is under the orders of Captain Pie, and all ye scoundrels shall follow them, else we'll end up in Davy Jones' Locker. Now Ms. Dash and Ms. Shy, raise the sails.
"Aye captain!"
"Ms. Rarity, raise the anchor."
"Aye cap'n!"
"Ms. Sparkle, ye shall be our navigator."
Twilight looked around herself to see her friends work on the ship, "Am I the only one who finds it weird that Pinkie is behaving like a pirate?" she asked. Pinkie jumped down and used her tail to pull out a cutlass from her mane, putting it to Twilight's throat.
"Listen ye landlubber. It is Captain Pie to ye, and ye shall follow me orders else I'll have to accuse ye of mutiny against the captain, and the punishment for mutiny against the captain is to walk the plank. Now get to the charts Ms. Sparkle and don't test me patience again." she whispered to Twilight's ear.
The lavender unicorn gulped, "Aye captain." and teleported behind the charts, using her magic to control plotting instruments and find a good trail to sail to Britail.
"Aye, today the wind's on our side. A good day to set sail." she said. Rainbow Dash and Fluttershy flew up to her.
"The sails are raised captain. Any orders?" asked Rainbow Dash.
"Aye. Ms. Dash, fly up and hoist the Jolly Roger. Then take place in crow's nest and call shall ye see any other ships or land."
"Aye captain!" she said, rocketing upwards.
"Ms. Shy, ye shall prepare the cannons below the deck for firing at any needed time, should we encounter resistance."
"Aye captain." she whispered, flying low below the deck.
Rarity galloped up to Pinkie, "The anchor's raised cap'n and we're movin'. Any ord'rs?"
"Ye finished yer job last, so ye shall be sweeping the deck. Next time I expect the job to be done right away."
Rarity looked down in shame, "Aye cap'n..." Then she grabbed a broom with her horny magic and started sweeping.
Pinkie walked back to Twilight, "Which way now Ms. Sparkle?" she asked.
"We should turn 45 degrees right..." said Twilight, looking at the maps and the compass.
"Starboard it is. Aye, I can feel the adventure in me blood." said Pinkie, turning the helm.
"Oi, Big Macintosh, have you seen my mates today?" asked Applejack, looking at her brother.
"Nnnnnnnet." he said in a very strong accent, going back to pulling his cart.
"Bugger. Where the bloody 'ell have they gone. I've been looking left, right and centre for them..."
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the descriptions seems kind of interesting, though I will read it mostly because of the thumbnail
So Big Mac's got a Russian accent, okay...
...but why is the rum gone?
So, hat-induced personality changes? I wonder when the princesses tiaras will show up.
.....i dont like this anymore
"horny magic?"
440082 Magic using a horn. What else?
443651
sounds naughty
444020 sounds however you want it to sound
444193
not that i'm complaining but yeah sounds dirty
444314 again, if you believe it sounds dirty it'll sound dirty. It's perfectly harmless. Honest.
I've got my eye on you. this skunk's started to smell.
Several times I have tried to start this review with a lengthy opening paragraph, written up with the thickest British accent I can pull out from my British blood, but each time it just became needlessly complicated and ended up making no sense. So bugger that idea. While on the topic related to the UK, I noticed that this story has references and themes that relate to the United Kingdom, thus qualifying it to be added to a group I'm a part of, UK Bronies. I feel it would be most rude of me to simply add this story to the group without your permission so before I begin this here review I must ask, may I add 'Applejack Abroad' to the group, UK Bronies?
On with the review then and the most noticeable thing about this here story is the jolly good premise. It's crazy, and opens up for crazy scenarios, but in being so gosh darn ridiculous it draws attention and asserts itself as an original idea. The summary reflects both of this stories genres, Comedy and Random, and the story in turn presents these genres’s almost immediately. This fanfic is most definitely funny, it cares not for how absurd it can be and thus gives itself the freedom to mess about as much as it want. Even in it's less crazier jokes it manages to be witty and I have burst out with laughter at least once in each chapter. I like the way the plot is progressing, and dialogue is fitting for both the accent the character is meant to have, and for the characters themselves.
It is good that your dialogue in turn is so good, for your detail and description is sorely lacking, both in its appearance and its presentation. Description for the scenery is sparse, and actions are described in short and basic terms. Furthermore the sentences are themselves short, stunted, and could do with flowing better. As an additional criticism, it is strange how Britain would be depicted as a different country to Equestria as Equestria has Canterlot, Hoofinton, and Trottingham, all three places with British connections, but this is more a personal opinion based criticism.
This is certainly not the best written fanfic however I read My Little Pony: Friendship is Magic fanfics in order to make me happy, and the quirky plot and spiffing comedy here has made me very happy so mission accomplished. Great job, and keep up the good work!
582308
As I am in a bit of a tight spot with exams coming up, my story updates may come slower. I am planning on finishing my first project, after which I'll get back to the craziness of AJ Abroad.
As for UK Bronies, I have no objections to that. The story is written in a bit of a stereotypical perspective but I hope no Brit will be overly offended by it.
I do indeed find that my descriptions may be lacking. I was always a man who says things in as simple way as possible. I'll keep trying to colour my story up a little bit in the next chapters that come.
Thanks for the tips, very much appreciated.
i see what you did there