Okay, so you're right, the writing does feel rather rushed overall, but by fan-fiction standards it's hardly terrible.

The fact that he knows exactly what he's getting into is a nice touch. A lot of people do read about events on the wiki before encountering them themselves, so this could create a more relatable gaming experience for them.

I look forward to seeing where you take this. And yeah, I feel this is good enough to warrant me promoting it, I'll throw up a blog post now.

4346686
The second chapter will be less rushed.
Turning an actual game experience into a story is much easier than creating an intro out of pre-made stuff.
Anyways, thank you for the promotion, the next chapter will be out later today!

-Zeph

Soarin picked woman as starter gender with curvy body and big breasts perk huh?

lol he is a pervert and i wonder what he wil react or should i say ''she'' will react when Saorin takes a break from CoC or CoM in this case and discovers what changes have happened.

Spitfire is sure in for a suprise when she meets Soarin again

i wonder how huge the breasts will be and what other add ons he/she will get.

maybe consume a couple of Fox Berries or enchanted version of it to gain extra breast rows or Incubus Drafts to become a herm, or maybe Snake Oils to become a naga or a combo of all the above i said.

4346976
Oh don't worry, 'he' knows everything of the game, he read the wiki!
And I can't really tell what will happen, the story is a literal storification of my gameplay, I write it as I play, hah!
So get read, soon I will post the next chapter, only the matter of hours!

-Zeph

4346986

true tho what he doesnt know is he will also change outside the game based what he do in-game hehehe

just see how Rainbow Dash reacted when she took a break from her gaming session in the other story lol

4346997
Ah-ah-ah, he knows~!
Read the first chapter again, more carefully!
I also hinted that he knows how to 'flush out' the changes out of his body, thanks to a perk of his pro gaming gear.

Soarin' here is the guy who seems to be lazy and maybe even dumb... and that is his cloak, hiding his actual, overzealous self! What do you think, how did he become a Wonderbolt?

4347003

ah ok i was hoping he didnt know about the "changes" that would happen outside the game lol

oh well lets see what kind of perverted situations he will get into but since its based from your gaming experience..... you naughty pony

4347027
The most surprising things happen when you THINK that you are prepared.

4347034

Eeyup since you cant be prepared for everything.

well anyway cant wait to see what the next chapter will bring

4346976 canine peppers do that too

Hey Zeph, will you please credit me with prereading somewhere?

4347324
Yeah, sorry about forgetting it.

Heh. So CoC stories are becoming a thing now?

I'm on board!

4347360
Hopefully!
Oh by the way, grab your chair because I'm close to finish the second chapter!

>[quote[Every person is born with a gift. What’s yours?
-Small error there.

this one needs the save editor