Trinity

by alarajrogers

Still Life

And so it goes!
Today I think an apocalypse.
Of giant mutant cabbages!
Pony-eating, sharp-toothed, whiny.
Watch them roll along the streets,
Complaining that their meals do flee!
Oh look, some unicorns try to fight.
Too bad, the cabbages eat magic too!
And here come pancakes!
Manta rays.
They fly through the air,
wrap their prey, and crush!
Do pony bones taste good with syrup?
Let's let pancake-eating spiders find out!

All dead now.
Apocalypse is boring.
Reset!

It's not real anyway.

Or maybe foals burst into flames!
What do you think I am, a monster?
Of course the flames don't hurt the foals.
They're fire foals.
It's the parents that burn.
Haha! To love them is to die,
Their love burns their parents alive.
That seems profound somehow.
Oh no!
Did I just make a metaphor?
Confound it, I was trying to be senseless.

Anything for entertainment.

Damn, now I'm awake.
How can I tell?
My eyes don't open
I cannot stretch
Can't yawn can't speak can't do can't
Stop.
Let's go back to hallucinating.
It's much more fun than this!

This time I'll make a perfect world.
Everypony loves my candy grass!
It's got wheels, so you can skate on it
And then when you're hungry, dig in!
I turn their houses upside down.
They clop their hooves and shout for more!
No, this is totally unbelievable.
One star! Downrated!
Suspension of disbelief went splat.

And here I am again in darkness.

No, not darkness.
Darkness implies that you have eyes
And that they're closed
Or there's no light.
I have no eyes, so I don't see darkness.
Call it gray.
It's not that either.
I could call it nurfleblong.
I could call it anything.
Why would it matter?
I know what it is
And there's no one to tell about it anyway.
So why make a word?
It is what it is.
The point is I can't see anything.

It must be day.
I hear ponies outside.
How can I hear when I can't see?
Don't know! Don't care!
Come closer, ponies.
Talk about something. Anything.
Talk about something stupid and boring.
It's all you talk about anyway
But I still want to hear it!
Voices from outside my head
Tell me, somewhere there's reality
Somewhere minds that aren't me
Somewhere things I didn't make
Somewhere chaos I didn't create

Somewhere I will never see

Now that's depressing.
Think of something!
A distraction.
Purple dinosaurs!
They're short, and fuzzy, not scaly.
They sing about love and friendship and euw
And then eat foals for lunch.
My gosh,
my imagination's turned so dark lately.
What's with all the dying ponies?
Maybe it's because I hate them.
They're walking! Talking! They can see!
They can feel
They can live
I hear them walk right past me and ignore me.
Of course they do!
Who talks to statues?
Ponies get to be alive.
And here I am, dead.
Except death's more friendly.
I've been there!
Plenty of spirits to play games with.
Admittedly no cards in the land of the dead
But you'd be amazed
how far you can get with charades!
And there's things to perceive!
Chaos, mostly.
Death is fun!
Sort of.

Better than this anyway.

How long's it been?
Trick question!
It's never going to end
So who cares?
It's not like it's a finite sentence.
It's going to go on and on and on and on and on and on and on and on and on and
Wait
Am I crying?
It's hard to tell when nothing's real.
It's not like I can hear myself.

I'm tired of destroying the world.
What about a good old fashioned storm of chaos?
Clouds on the ground
On roller skates!
Rain lemonade
Upside down!
Oldie but goodie, that one.
And how about giant mutant bunny rabbits?
With spindly legs the size of trees?
Haha! That never gets old!
I'm lying, it's old already.

Who cares about any of it?
There's no one here to see it.

I know, I know!
An awesome trick!
This one will knock their socks off
In a platonic way, of course.
First I'll fill the world with monkeys
Coatless, tailless, but with manes
Wearing clothes, because otherwise euw!
Who wants to see a coatless monkey butt?
And then
I'll make them all believe
That this is their favorite entertainment!
They'll run around, amazed
At fiction come to life!
And all of them will think
They're chosen heroes, loved by ponies.
And then it turns out there's a disease
That ponies get, but monkeys
Have no immunity!
Watch them all sneeze
And cough and wheeze and finally die!
Oh my, I kill myself!

Actually that's a great idea.
Here's some rope
And here's a bomb
And here's a dagger for my throat.
For my next trick
I'll make a legendary monster
Disappear.

Haha, your face!
You thought I'd really do it?
No, no, I'd never do such a thing.
Not unless I took you all with me.

Besides, I don't know how I could.
Can't move, you know.
Can't even die.

Oh, right, you're not there either.

Because if you were
I could say
let me out let me out let me out let me out let me out let me out
make it stop
let it end
let me die if that's the only way
But you can't hear me.
No one can hear me.
Unless they're not real!
The ponies I hallucinate hear just fine.
But they're not real
Nothing's real
Nothing left but me
Only me
Forever and ever and ever and ever
Just me

You didn't hear me screaming just now.
Of course you didn't!
Because if you could hear me
Then you wouldn't be there!
As I was standing around somewhere
I met a pony who wasn't there.
He wasn't there again today.
I wish, I wish that pony would stay

Why complain?
This is my perfect world of chaos.
Everything just like it is in my head!
There isn't even causality here.
No passage of time to march along, constant
No pesky need for cause and effect
I don't even need magic!
Chaos is automatic.
All of my world is just like I dreamed of!
Because that's all it is
just dreams
and nightmares
and when it stops, there's nothing
just me

let me out let me out let me out let me die let me out
please
please free me

Who am I talking to?
There's no one here but me.
There'll never be anyone here but me.
Forever and ever and ever and ever and ever and ever and ever and
nothing
nothing but me

Author's Note:

WMA Audio file of reading, by me, now uploaded at my own site.

Comments

[Dazzleme]

Good job

[Meridian Prime]

Wow.

[alarajrogers]

4291044

Thank you!

[Fury of the Tempest]

Well... that was creepy... and heart-renching.

[TempesttheDragnix]

4287876 Your profile picture really adds to your statement. X3

[FanOfMostEverything]

I don't know why I never read this before, especially given how many times I've bemoaned the lack of good poetry on this site. And this is certainly good poetry. Three perspectives, three sets of circumstances, three very clear voices, and three tragedies. Thank you for them.

[Who needs sleep]

that... wow. just... take my like and my favorite and my follow too while your at it.

[MidnightMadness]

Discord was not a character I thought I could ever feel sorry for.
I loved his character.
But this was a fate which was beyond cruel, never knowing if you could escape the prison which your lover and sister forced you into.
A prison which forced someone whom has shown issues with abandonment to never have company?
That is beyond cruel.

[PresentPerfect]

Well'p c.c that was dark