Hop, Skip...
“My sister never told me not to go inside randomly appearing huge bouncy castles, but I think if she ever saw one, she would,” Sweetie Belle said, staring at the strange structure before her and the other Crusaders.
A huge rainbow bouncy castle stood before them, easily comparable in size and scale to an actual fortification a princess would’ve used. The main atrium was the only part comparable to a proper bouncy castle, but the rest promised something much greater.
So obviously Scootaloo wanted a go on it.
“Yeah, but you don’t know that for sure, so you can’t really get in trouble for this, right?” Scootaloo suggested, ignoring Apple Bloom’s skeptical look.
“Yeah, but—”
“When are we ever gonna get this opportunity again, Sweetie Belle?” Scootaloo turned her head, finally noticing Bloom’s blunt stare. “We could get bouncy castle cutie marks for this, or something.”
There was a pause as Apple Bloom kept staring at her friend. Scootaloo could feel the sass boring into her like a drill.
“Sure! Why not?” she finally said, her features brightening up.
“Well, if you girls are sure…” Sweetie Belle said, shuffling on the spot.
“‘Course I am! When have I ever been—” Scootaloo stopped herself. She knew where that particular avenue went. “Let’s go.” She led the charge, taking the first step. Her hoof sank into the rubbery material of the castle, making it a little awkward to walk normally.
“So where did this even come from anyway?” Apple Bloom asked, her nose wrinkling. Everything smelled artificial.
Scootaloo shrugged, taking her friends through the lobby. “Heck if I know. Maybe Princess Celestia dropped it off or something.”
Apple Bloom rolled her eyes. “Likely story.”
The trio came to a hallway, with lit up lanterns attached to the walls. Fireflies were trapped in glass to simulate the effect of fire. They were needed, as the ceiling prevented any sunlight from reaching through.
“Coooool,” Scootaloo cooed as she stepped forth.
“Who’d even make such a big bouncy castle?” Sweetie Belle wondered.
“I dunno, but I’m not sure if I like it,” Apple Bloom remarked. She mentally noted how the color of the walls had seemed to darken. But whether that was the lack of light or not was a question she couldn’t answer with any confidence.
Scootaloo eyes lit up as they turned a corner. “Maybe there’s a dungeon here! Or an armory!”
Apple Bloom snerked. “Yeah, full of rubber suits.”
Scoots shot over an annoyed glare. “Hey, it’d be kinda cool.”
“I guess,” Apple Bloom said, looking up at a candlier. “Not everyday you see somethin’ like this.”
“Exactly! This is way better than just another normal day in Ponyville—okay, normal here is kinda not normal but—what do you think Sweetie Belle?” Scootaloo looked behind her, but where there should’ve been a white filly, there was just empty space. “Sweetie Belle?”
Apple Bloom turned and started walking the way they came. “She probably got distracted by the lights. C’mon, we’ll fetch her.”
Scootaloo nodded, following her companion back around the corner. When they arrived, there was no sign of the little filly anywhere.
“Sweetie Belle?” Apple Bloom called out.
“Maybe she left?” Scootaloo pondered, heading forward. Instead of stepping on the soft floor of the castle, her hoof found something hard. She blinked and slowly looked down at what the hay she had stepped on.
Sweetie Belle’s hoof was coming out of the crease between the wall and floor and it was slowly being drawn in.
“Sweetie Belle!” Scootaloo shouted, diving onto the floor and grabbing Sweetie Belle’s hoof with her own. The unicorn gripped on, but her hold was shaky. Apple Bloom didn’t even need to be asked to help, already trying to haul Scootaloo back along with Sweetie.
Scootaloo found her grip on Sweetie slipping, so she held on and pulled back even harder, even if she knew it’d hurt them both. Her muscles strained in protest as she worked them into action. Behind her, she could hear Apple Bloom grunt and feel the force of the earth pony’s powerful pull on her.
It happened quickly. One quick tug by the castle and the hold the two shared was ripped apart. Sweetie Belle’s hoof was sucked into the wall and vanished, while Scootaloo was knocked back into Apple Bloom. The two hastily assembled to their hooves, but could only stare in horror at the space where Sweetie Belle used to be.
“No!” Scootaloo screamed, kicking at the wall. A quick tug by Apple Bloom cleared some of the red mist from her eyes.
“We gotta get outta here and get help! Now,” she instructed, pulling Scootaloo along.
“R-Right.” Scootaloo nodded slightly, running with Apple Bloom, but still looking at the spot where Sweetie Belle had vanished.
She heard her friend’s cry of desperation too late and ran right into a gate that had appeared before the way to the lobby. She bounced off harmlessly, landed on the floor, then skipped across like a stone a few times.
“Darn! Stupid castle’s locked us in! C’mon,” Apple Bloom charged, picking Scootaloo back on her hooves. “We gotta find another way out!”
Scootaloo followed without question, the two sprinting through narrow hallways, very careful to avoid brushing with the walls. They headed up stairs, albeit slowly due to their bouncy nature, and found only more narrow, winding hallways.
She kept focusing on the pony in front of her, that red bow bobbing along as she ran. The familiar sight of it went all too quickly as Apple Bloom was suddenly sucked into the floor, her bottom half completely obscured.
“Aah! Help!” the earth filly screamed, reaching her forelegs towards Scootaloo.
The pegasus fought through the fear that was building in her body. Her breathing was ragged, her heartbeats thundering in her ears, but she held onto Apple Bloom for dear life and pulled with all her might.
The castle had the upper hand, teasing her by pulling Apple Bloom in with short, sudden tugs. Scootaloo kept on fighting, losing her grip as the castle pulled further. Reacting with quick pegasi instinct, she dove down and bit on Apple Bloom’s bow.
Her teeth, jaw and neck all ached as she used up her last reserves of strength. Yet the castle was finished, pulling Apple Bloom with such force it threatened to suck Scootaloo in too. There was a tearing sound as the bow ripped itself from Apple Bloom, forcing Scootaloo back into the wall, bouncing off onto the floor.
“Apple Bloom! I-I’m sorry! I just—” Fear caught her in the throat, sweat trickling down her face. With both her friends gone, there was only one thing Scootaloo could’ve done.
She ran.
By now, a crowd of ponies had gathered around the bouncy castle, gawking at it in interest. Fillies and colts fidgeted and ran around the bouncy structure, eager to get on and have their turn. The parents, however, didn’t allow it, under the advice of Twilight Sparkle.
Applejack and Rarity shifted nervously on their hooves, although the former was slightly better at hiding it. Between a noticeable lack of the Crusaders for a few hours, and the appearance of the castle, suspicious things were afoot indeed.
The farmer pony was the first to speak up. “I say we go in there and get those fillies out of there!” Rarity nodded with her.
“We can’t. At least, not yet,” Twilight advised, staring at the castle with narrowed eyes. “We don’t know how dangerous this castle is; we can’t just step in without any prior planning.”
“It’s just a bouncy castle, Twilight,” Rainbow Dash said, hovering in the air and grinning as she eyed the thing. “An awesome looking one! Y’know, it’s a crime not to let us in and have some fun.”
“Isn’t your ‘sister’ Scootaloo in there?” Rarity asked, raising a scandalized eyebrow.
“Er… yeah. I guess so.” Rainbow fluttered down to the ground, rubbing her neck and laughing sheepishly.
“Oh, we have to find them soon. They’re probably so lost, cold, hungry…” Fluttershy mumbled the rest of such problems the crusaders could’ve faced.
“And we will,” Twilight affirmed. She then looked at the last member of their group, who was repeatedly poking the castle. “Pinkie…”
Pinkie suddenly stood at attention, rushing over to Twilight. “This is bad. Like, super bad. The castle walls are way too frolicsome, the PVC extremely flippant, and the strength of the whole thing is too jittery.”
Confused faces went all around the group. Pinkie sighed and explained, “This castle is really bouncy and if it pops we’re all done for.” She made a wheezing sound, trailing her hoof off in erratic directions, before making a ‘boom’ sound.
“Oh my…” Rarity exclaimed.
“Exactly!” Pinkie turned, facing the structure, puffing out her chest with her legs spread apart in a totally brave pose. “That’s why I’m going in and getting the fillies out of there.”
“Pinkie, you can’t do that by yourself,” Twilight said, stepping forth and resting a hoof on Pinkie’s shoulder. “We’re your friends. Let us help you.”
“I still say a bouncy castle is pretty harmless…” Dash grumbled.
“No, you can’t go in!” Pinkie cried.
“Why not?” came the chorus of replies.
Pinkie got a fearful look in her eyes. A veteran’s glaze. “I’ve seen it happen before…”
“Seen what happen, sugarcube?” Applejack asked.
“It was a day just like this one… except with a much smaller bouncy castle. And no missing ponies. But the weather was kinda the same. So yeah, just like this one.” She hurried up once she saw Twilight roll her eyes. “Some poor colt bounced way too hard on the floor, and then he went up and hit the wall, then the other wall, then the other wall, and again and again and again back and forth back and forth!” Pinkie’s eyes quickly darted from left to right. “It was horrible! I had to catch the poor li’l guy midair to save him, but it was too late… he… he had already thrown up on the castle!”
Fluttershy and Rarity both winced.
“So I’m going in, by myself, and there’s nothing you can do to stop me!” Pinkie told them, posing with her chest puffed out.
“But Pinkie—” Twilight was cut off by a pink hoof on her mouth.
“Nothing,” Pinkie repeated. “Only I can fight this battle.” Twilight slowly nodded, then Pinkie drew her hoof away. A bright smile than flashed on her face. “See ya girls later!” she cheerily said, skipping into the bouncy castle, bouncing a little in the lobby before heading into the narrow hallways.
Five minutes and no sign of the girls. Things were heating up. And that wasn’t just because the bouncy castle had awful ventilation. A lot of the rooms Pinkie had checked were just that: rooms. They had no special qualities to them other than filling up space in the castle. The moment Pinkie stepped into one, she just went back out immediately because obviously nothing would be in such boring rooms.
She sighed, still walking. It was kinda funny, how she walked. It was kinda like she was on the moon, only without the scary nightmare demons. It was just a shame she didn’t have any of her friends to talk about that with.
Her ears twitched. Somepony or something was in a room nearby. She could hear some sort of… munching sound. Carefully, she traced her ear along the walls and pinpointed the sound to a specific place. Maybe something exciting was in one of these boring ol’ rooms?
Pinkie stepped in and the brilliant sight before her was…
Lyra munching on a chocolate bar.
“Eh, close enough,” Pinkie said to herself. Lyra looked up, not seeming too surprised at Pinkie’s presence. She sat against the wall, smelling more minty than she usually did. Obviously she was eating mint chocolate, then. “Hi Lyra!”
“Shec,” Lyra mumbled, halfway through a mouthful of chocolate. Pinkie waited as the unicorn slowly devoured her chocolate bar, the silence giving her incredible detail of Lyra’s munching sounds.
“Crud,” Lyra muttered as she got some chocolate on her belly. She lazily wiped it off, smudging it into her coat.
Pinkie resisted the urge to roll her eyes.
Finally, Lyra swallowed her final mouthful. “Okay, that was good. Hey Pinkie.”
“Lyyyyyyyyraaaaa, what are you doing here?” Pinkie asked innocently.
Lyra snorted. “First, don’t draw my name out like that. Bon Bon does that all the time. And speaking of her, she kicked me out of the house for a while because I forgot to do the dishes last night.”
“Well that seems a bit harsh—”
“For the tenth time in a row.”
Pinkie blinked. “Oh.”
“Yeah. So I thought I’d just chill here until Bons cools off. Seemed like a pretty cool place.” Lyra shrugged, standing up and tossing her chocolate wrapper to the floor.
“Hey!” Pinkie exclaimed, thrusting a hoof at Lyra. “Pick that up right now!”
Lyra pressed her back against the wall. “Sheesh, Pinkie. It’s just a wrapper!”
“It’s littering. And only the meanest of ponies litter in bouncy castles. So pick it up.” Her voice took on a sudden, threatening tone. “Now.”
Lyra’s terrified eyes never looked away from Pinkie as she bent down and picked up her wrapper. She positively flinched even when Pinkie gave her a quick smile.
“Great! Remember: littering is for losers! Now,” Pinkie slung a hoof around the minty fresh mare, “we’re gonna save ourselves some fillies.”
“We are?” Lyra asked, keeping still.
“We are.”
“Y’know, I didn’t exactly sign up for this.” Lyra looked her body over. She was getting a little tubby in the tummy department. “I’m not the hero type.”
“I don’t care. You littered, so this is your community service for the day.” Pinkie patted Lyra gently on the head. “It’ll be over before you know it. So let’s go!”
Levitating her wrapper up, Lyra reluctantly followed Pinkie out of the room. “So… who got lost in here?”
“The Cutie Mark Crusaders, of course!” Pinkie replied cheerfully.
“Of course…” Lyra grumbled. “When have they never not messed up before?”
“Never,” Pinkie replied, then turned her head so she could look at Lyra. “But they’re just kiddies. Ya gotta let them take their tumbles, or they’ll never learn.”
Lyra took a moment to consider this candy nugget of wisdom. “I guess. But still, some of the things they do are major fu—”
“Shush!” Pinkie commanded, suddenly standing still.
Lyra covered her hoof with her mouth. “Oops. Sorr—”
“Shush!”
The unicorn quickly nodded.
“I can feel something…” Pinkie crouched low, putting an ear to the floor. Tiny itty bitty vibrations were in the floor, coming from somewhere she couldn’t really determine. At least not yet. But somepony was close and they were running.
“I might have found them! Kinda!” Pinkie suddenly took off into a gallop, the bouncy floor not affecting her speed in the slightest.
Lyra, however, was not so skilled. “Hey! Wait up!” she cried, doing her best to maintain a good speed. It resulted in a giraffe’s walk of near misses and stumbles.
Pinkie kept up the chase, occasionally putting her head close to the ground to redetermine where the vibrations were coming from. This gave Lyra enough time to catch up, but only barely. As soon as she caught sight of her target, the pink mare disappeared round a corner.
It had only been a minute or two of this and already Lyra was sweating, her legs buckling under the sheer exertion she had to give. Eventually she lost sight of Pinkie for good and proceeded to kneel down on the floor, panting like an overweight dog who had just tried to catch a tennis ball.
She couldn’t rest for long though. Something round rammed its way into her flank. Lyra screamed, overriding the grunt that came from behind her. She stood up and turned.
“Aaah!” she yelled at the top of her lungs.
“Aaaaaaaaaaaah!” the newcomer screamed even louder, if that was possible. Then again, she was Scootaloo.
“Did you just—?” Lyra asked, pointing an accusing hoof at Scootaloo.
The filly nodded rapidly.
“Oh Sweet Celestia you rammed into my ass?!” Lyra shrieked, sitting down. She then winced. “Ow!” She narrowed her eyes at Scoots. “You ruined my… my bum!”
“You were the one in my way, lying down for no good reason!” Scootaloo defended, rubbing her face desperately and then wiping her hooves on the floor. “Ew ew ew ew ew…” Gagging sounds soon followed.
Lyra held her head. “I can’t believe this! This is—”
“Totally gross! Why would—”
“This even happen—”
“To—”
“Me!” they both shouted in unison.
“And Pinkie makes three!” Pinkie exclaimed, popping out of nowhere.
The terrified screaming resumed for another good couple of minutes.
“Wow! That sure was fun, girls!” Pinkie giggled, sitting down between the two worn out ponies. “Lyra was all like: ‘eeeeeeeeeek!’ and Scoots was all: ‘gaaaaaaaaaaah!’ and then I was like: “Yeeeeeeeeaaaaaargh!’”
Lyra was lying down on her back, hoof on her belly, struggling to regain her breath after all the screaming and running. “You and me… we have a very different definition of fun…” she rasped.
Meanwhile, Scootaloo was sitting opposite her, leaning her head against the wall. Her mane was all scruffy and her wings occasionally jittered. She took a deep breath, rubbed her eyes, then exhaled. “Such a bad day…”
“Aaw, what happened?” Pinkie stepped over, wrapping a foreleg around the filly. Blinking, she peered around. “And where’s your other Crusaders?”
“That’s the thing…” Scootaloo ran a hoof through her mane, then suddenly flinched away from the wall. It was only Pinkie’s reassuring foreleg draped around her that prevented the filly from bolting off altogether.
“Scootaloo, we need to know what happened to them, okay?” Pinkie said, her tone surprisingly serious. It had a light edge to it; the kind of way guards would talk to children when asking them questions about a case. “Otherwise we can’t find them and that’d be really bad.”
Scoots nodded, her gaze shifting to Lyra. “You might wanna stand up…”
Lyra weakly lifted a hoof in the air. “I’m fine here…”
Snorting, Scootaloo turned back to Pinkie. “It’s the whole stupid castle.” Scowling, she whacked the floor as hard as she could. “It ate them! It just… sucked in Apple Bloom and Sweetie Belle! They’re gone, Pinkie! And it’s all my fault because I wanted to go into this place, like an idiot!”
Pinkie ruffled the filly’s mane gently. “Nah, it’s not your fault. This place looked really fun to me at first too! And don’t worry about your friends.”
Scootaloo did a double take. “Wh-what?”
“Yeah! They’ll be fine. Bouncy castles aren’t all that dangerous,” Pinkie confirmed.
“They’re not?” Scoots asked, tilting her head.
“Nope! It’s the other ponies. All that bouncing about, some bigger pony can land on a smaller pony and that really hurts!” Pinkie explained, hugging Scootaloo lightly.
Lyra rubbed her flank, groaning.
“So… where are Apple Bloom and Sweetie Belle?” Scootaloo questioned.
“If I had to guess…” Pinkie rubbed her chin, making a thoughtful noise. “The heart of the castle.”
“Where?”
“Okay, maybe the stomach then,” Pinkie continued. “So that means… we have to go deeper.”
“You’re not making any sense!” Scootaloo cried, flailing her forelegs around.
“Basically,” Pinkie began, holding Scoots’ forelegs in place carefully. “We gotta go down into the depths of this castle, find your friends, then maybe find out why this castle is here in the first place. You get all that?”
“Er, yeah. That’s the easy part. The hard part is how,” Scootaloo stressed.
“Don’t worry about that!” Pinkie assured, patting the filly on the head. “Let your Auntie Pinkie take care of that for ya!”
“You’re not my auntie,” Scootaloo said, flicking her ear.
“Oh yeah. I guess that’d make me Dashie’s sister, huh?” Pinkie scrunched her muzzle, getting up. “And her aunt. Weird. Anyway, c’mon.” Pinkie walked by Lyra and stomped on the ground, causing the unicorn to bounce up and somehow land on her hooves. “Let’s go.”
Lyra stood there, dumbstruck, oblivious to Scootaloo walking past. “How did—” She shook her head vigorously. “No. Don’t ask questions. Today is not a day to be questioned,” she told herself. Blinking, she realized she was alone again. She called after the pair, galloping up behind them. “Hey! Wait up!”
They weren’t crusaders, far from it, but Scootaloo tagged along close to the adult mares, staying in between them. She sniffed the air, smelling like mint bubblegum. The two adults mares received very confused glances, but they weren’t paying attention to Scoots to see them.
“So… do you know where we’re going?” Scootaloo asked them.
“I have no idea!” Pinkie delightfully replied.
“A map would be helpful,” Lyra suggested.
“Yeah but that’d be waaaaaay too convenient, and I don’t think this castle is playing nice.” Pinkie shot the walls a glance, eyes narrowed.
“Well…” Lyra began, holding out a hoof to block Pinkie. “Looks like we might be getting somewhere.”
Scootaloo stopped just before the drop Lyra was pointing to. Down below was a big empty room. Like the gynamism that Cheerilee always promised they’d eventually get. The drop wasn’t too big, but it was enough to maybe cause a bruise if they fell down hard.
“So, who wants to go in first?” Lyra left the question hanging.
Pinkie was the one who picked it up. “Me!” But before she dove in, she looked at Lyra. “Also, I should probably mention this now, but don’t land on your head.”
“Er, obviously,” Lyra replied. “I don’t want to snap my neck.”
“Nah, not that,” Pinkie said, shaking her head. “It’s just that if your horn impales the castle too hard, you might pop it, and then we’re doomed.”
“Y’know, the fact that you didn’t completey ham up the ‘doomed’ makes me actually kinda worried we would be doomed if that happened,” Scootaloo snarked.
“I’ll keep that in mind, Pinkie,” Lyra said, rubbing her horn, a troubled look plastered across her features.
“Okay, so with that all said and done… wheeeee!” Pinkie took the plunge, diving down onto the room below. She landed safely, pressing into the floor, then bouncing back up. Reaching the height of her jump, she passed the others, waving at them. “C’mon! It’s safe!”
“This could be…” Scootaloo edged towards the drop. “Kinda awesome!” she cheered, jumping down below. Like Pinkie, she too jumped about, her wings buzzing all the way.
“Yeah… I think I’ll just go down like a normal pony,” Lyra said, shuffling over to the edge. Kneeling down before it, her horn glowed a brilliant amber as translucent magical hands appeared over her hooves. She gripped the edge with them, then carefully slid down the edge. All the way she winced, grunted and cursed, her forelegs becoming red-raw as they ground against the wall.
“Aw, you’re no fun, Lyra!” Pinkie commented, still bouncing high. She smiled brightly as Scootaloo made a perfect arc over her.
“I’m just not sure I could land jumps that high, is all,” Lyra responded, walking across the room. She stopped when she saw the room’s exit. “But I guess I’ll have to…” she lamented. The exit was exactly like the entrance. A high up ledge leading to a hall.
Lyra huffed and prepared herself for a bounce, when the floor suddenly shook. Blinking, she looked at Pinkie and Scootaloo—both were in the air at the time of the jump. Freezing, she glanced around the room for any sign of intruders. The room was blank, spare for the pink and orange blurs hopping around the room.
Still not convinced, Lyra took a cautious step forward. The moment her hoof touched the floor, something raised up from the ground with frightening speed. It threw Lyra off the floor, tossing her uselessly nearby. She didn’t land with any sort of grace whatsoever. In fact, it was like a cake splatting on the ground.
Regardless, she recovered just in time to see a figure towering over her. It was lanky, with a huge smiley face plastered onto it. It’s arms were extremely long and constantly flailed about, completely without direction.
“What the…” Scootaloo’s jaw dropped as she saw the thing rise.
“Oh no!” Pinkie gawked, pointing at the strange thing with heightened urgency. “It’s a wacky waving inflatable leg flailing tube mare!!”
Scootaloo could hardly believe her ears. “A what?!”
“A wacky waving inflatable leg flailing tube mare! They’re deadly to the unsuspecting pony!” Pinkie explained. Her sights then set towards Lyra. “Run Lyra!”
Lyra jerked her head towards Pinkie, then towards the tube mare. “Got it!” Whipping around, Lyra covered as much distance as she could from the tube mare.
The ground shook and another tube mare erupted from the ground, right in front of Lyra. She skidded to a stop and made a sharp turn, slipping on the ground but recovering before she could fall flat on her face. But everywhere she galloped, more tube mares appeared, until the entire room was full of them, their arms flailing about like a rainbow forest of madness.
Lyra came to a stop, a single drop of sweat running down her head as she stared at the tube mares surrounding her, closing her in. She tried to say something, yet all she could do was make a strangled noise in her throat. She gulped and braced for the inevitable.
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Have all my yes. Pls, take them.
I swear, there is nothing about this absolutely absurd story that I don't like.
It's some horrid creation spawned of the Cthulhu Mythos after a rubber factory exploded. And then Pinkie Pie, because Pinkie Pie.
Hooray for silly premises played straight!
This fic is pure awesome.
x4.fjcdn.com/comments/www.funnyjunk.com+funnypictures+3592441+The+Train+www.funnyjunk.com+funnypictures+4171296+The+Train+www.funnyjunk.com+funnypictures+1987463+Train+www.funnyjunk.com+funnypictures+988292+Korean+_cfc01097e388dcfa03a7321d666ab294.jpg
4279033
^This
Your short description:
>This is superfluous. You already said she was joined by them, no need to say that they tagged along right afterwards.
>It's "a", not "an".
Sorry. Saw it on the homepage and it made my eye twitch.
FYI this is now a thing:
s6.postimg.org/z353rikyp/Flailing_Tube_Mare.jpg
4281808
D-Did you make that?
4281970
Maybe,
4281983
i.imgur.com/53XxENz.gif
4281084
I'm glad I didn't have to see that.