Travelling through an inter-dimensional portal can have a lot of outcomes. Because of this, you can never guess what is going to happen. So when I was assaulted by one of the most adorable floating balls ever, we set out to try and find its home.
But we end up in Equestria instead. Huh.
Follow my adventures as I try my hardest not to fanbrony over everything and try to help my little buddy find his home.
With the help of the Mane Six, of course
My first fanfiction EVER, so please rate and critique fairly. Constructive criticism is welcomed.
Chapters (3)
It seems overly rushed, with little much needed prologue.
I implore you to continue, as its always a good thing to improve your writing skills.
But if you do make another fic, do not make it a self-insert unless you know what you are doing.
Cheers.
Not sure if April Fool's joke or genuinely needs improvement...
392845
Thanks for the encouragement. I went for a self insert mainly to write what I know.
And even I feel that the start is a bit rushed, but I wasn't really sure how to start, figuring I'd explain stuff as I went through. Don't really wanna shove everything in your face at once, do I? If you have any tips i'd be glad to hear them, 'cause i'm an amateur at this.
392929
It's not a joke. I just happened to upload it early in the morning (for me anyway)
But it does need improvement, that I know for a fact. I'v always had trouble articulating my thoughts and ideas.
395337
Well its usually a good idea to keep writing and listening to the comments. if someone points out a fault(instead of just saying it sucks), listen to them, fix it up if you can, and take that advice to the next chapter or fanfic you write.
The community generally doesnt like things that take 5 or so chapters to explain. because it requires them to pay attention to detail and people are lazy
In one of my fanfics, numerous people complained that 'celestia wouldnt act like that', without reading all the way through. so it does get annoying.
And generally, a storyline that is 'a portal appeared for no reason, but i went through anyway' doesnt make too much sense.
Id be glad to give you any tips. If youd like a specific example, read my fanfiction "the mage". which isnt well written at the start but gets progressively better.
Ok then.
I've decided to give the prologue an overhaul.
Things will be explained. The voice will be less 'statemantive' (what word would you use for that?)
I'm actually going to hesitate going into the portal.(Which will be explained)
There will be a lead-up to the portal, though nothing too long
And I probably won't faint.
Also, no longer a cross-over. i was originally gonna make it a crossover with Final Fantasy 9, with the optional superboss Ozma as the antagonist, but its kinda hard to give something with no backstory original backstory, so that fell through
i'm also gonna have a partner, though its not gonna be a pony, human or any kind of animal
You'll see :3
Let's hope i do better this time around
395946
Right then. I completely overhauled the Prologue, hopefully it's not as rushed anymore, though it might be towards the end. I believe that it is a hell of a lot better than the old one (which I have saved on my computer if you want to make comparisons) I would love to see what you think of it and maybe you could give me some pointers.
Once again, thanks for the encouragement.
400336
Much much better.
I hope the rest of the chapters go just as well.
Good luck!
400526
Thanks.
I am going to have SO much fun writing Glyph
Its a great fic! please continue but there names hmmmmmmmmmmm........