Disclaimer: This is a one-shot, so do not expect me to make this a multi-chapter piece like I did with my other story, To Gaze Upon a Tombstone. The second chapter is explained in the author's note.
It's been just nine months.
The ponies have crossed the line now.
We will not stand by and wait for them to strike again.
It's time we put our feet down.
It's time we show them who they are really crossing with.
There is now an official video-read of this story! Made by my good friend, Michael de Santa, you can find it right here!
Chapters (2)
You should make this a full story.. It's like..REALLY good...
Wow, already one dislike.
4292070 there are always going to be those people.
On a side note, great one shot.
i want to know if he made the shot or missed you cant just leave off without telling
I don't know if that's right....
4292283
Thanks, I'll fix that.
4292283 what are you doing, get back to your story. The space one 0_0
4292600
Lolwut
I need more 0_0
4292623 lol to much ready ready not enugh righty righty :P
It's very good. Moves at a quick pace, seems like you know what you're talking about, I enjoyed the voice of the speaker/ narrator, and conflict actually happens and things get accomplished in this chapter (which isn't always the case in other peoples' fiction).
The long and the short of is, I'd like to see more from you. Either other independent pieces of fiction or added chapters to this one. Good show, old boy.
I did notice some grammatical issues towards the beginning, but I tend to ignore those.
"we was right behind me."
i would greatly enjoy a multi chapter sequal or any kind of followup really well done
FULL STORY NOW I NEED MOAR
That is all
this needs to be a full story it leaves so many questions unanswered like did the shot hit celestia why did she react so violently to that one ponies death when it was probably explained to her that he was the aggressor and he fired at the humans first and what did the ponies do to the two chiefs they captured before they were rescued.
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Thanks for the kind words, you guys! I was almost ready to gut this story but your nice comments and the current like/dislike ratio (32:4), I will keep this going for sure.
However, I probably won't be making this a multi-chapter piece. Sorry.
I likely.
To say the least:
Me gusta
This is good. I am faving this. I find very few stories where the ponies attack humanity and humanity turns around and says. "Fuck you."
This is very good I was actually waiting for Celestia to have a bullet in her head. Finally a story where humanity stands it's ground and fires back with the arsenal of advanced weapons ponies could only dream of.
4295175
That's exactly why I wrote this, silly!
I'm definitely interested in moar...
This seems to contradict the description disclaimer which states it's clearly a one shot.
Otherwise good read, hope they didn't hurt my Octavia during this war.
This was a great read, it definitely deserves more chapters.
I hope, if it actually gets more chapters, that it will not about something like 'the ponies suddenly are stronger', because that is pure BS.
So, let's continue the story, eliminate Sun Butt and see how they try to fight back - without a head and with pathetic weapons and defenses.
(I mean, seriously. The best they can do are some fireballs and bubble shields which can be broken by driving a car at it.)
-Zeph
motherfuckin' cliffhangers
exept for that I like it all
Self-contradicting much? And yes, I'd like to see this continued. No way a few manifestations without human casualties would turn relations into an assassination mission unless the humans are the most dramatic bastards this side of the universe.
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I just fixed that.
4295351 *Looks at it* *Sees the note of it being continued is the part removed* NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!
Well, I guess I'll just have to listen to what the witch doctor has to say.
Hmm, interesting advice.
Ooh Eeh Ooh Ah Aah Ting Tang Walla Walla Bing Bang
*Starts pelvic thrusting to the beat*
I like the story as is, but i would LOVE it if it went further into the idea.
This is one of the most interesting scenarios I've read about so far. It'd be a shame if this were to be left as a one shot. It really doesn't suit as one.
I think it is a shame that you have made this a one shot.
You are severely limiting yourself here, I think making this into a full fledged story would improve your writing history as an author significantly. I mean, this could easily be listed on the front page if you did so.
I will follow you, just in case you change your mind.
Best one-shot I've ever read ^_^
Of course, since the President and the Secretary of Defense one day got together in shed, said "Let's make a portal to another world!" and then they did.
(Ignoring the fact they probably had the original scientists or researchers killed and all scientists after were given only pieces of the whole project.)
Immediately
Damn, this is one of those stories that makes me want more! Like what happened to those 2 chiefs?
Are you suuuuure you won't continue this? The premise is really interesting.
4298611 Nah, they just killed all of the people who did the portal making and designing.
4300039 I said that just after that paragraph
4300173 ...And I'm blind.
F
k.
Ho-LEE-hell... Nice oneshot.
I'd have to say you nailed this one-shot, but as a lot of people have been saying, it's a cliffhanger, and there's still plenty of unanswered questions.
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Sooner or later I'll be making some kind of epilogue to smooth out uncertainties.
Amazing work, my friend, Amazing! Ending gave me goose bumps. You obviously know a thing or two about this topic and you executed this story wonderfully! Bravo!
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Thanks a lot, man. It means a lot to hear that.
riiiiiiiight, cause killing civies is what the army is used for. :L
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At what point does this story portray the military killing civilians?
If you're thinking of the first encounter, if they are fired upon, it is mandatory to respond swiftly and suppress the threat so that no soldier is hurt.
4295175 It's kind of funny, because without nukes we couldn't really overcome the ponies. Magic can very, VERY easily shut down a tank. If you have a pony who can make fire appear... Well, goodbye gas and your entire ammo stores.
Okay, read this. We intrude on Equestria. We set up shop near Ponyville. Ponies get afraid and scared. They want us to get off their land. We decide, "NO! We got here via portal and that means it's ours!" We start killing them.
I'm fairly sure that "operation supernova" will end in either these assholes being sent to some kind of jail, Princess Celestia personally executing them, or Princesses Luna, Cadence, or Twilight personally executing them.
Also, why do you use a picture of a gun three, maybe four times for no reason? Is it supposed to be a timebreak?
4306845 Yes the guns r time breaks
4307092 okay then.
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Funny you should say that, because in the epilogue that will come out shortly a solution I came up with will be mentioned. One that will thwart the ponies magical abilities.
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"Thwart the ponies magical abilities" Oh shit, things about to get intense...