Chapter 2
Tank awoke, and the smell of pancakes filled his nose. “What the fuck? Where am I?”
He sat up from his makeshift bed of blankets and looked around, finding his bearings.
“Oh thats right, I’m in magical fucking pony land...” He clenched his teeth and held his head in his hands. “Ugh, I’m starting to think Nikolai’s vodka is contagious.”
Dempsey gathered himself and looked around more thoroughly this time. He spotted the other three sleeping on their own makeshift blanket beds. Richtofen was on the other side of the rather large main room facing away from Dempsey in the fetal position. He snickered at the German. He proceeded to scan the area, finding the other two also on opposite sides. To his left, Takeo was sleeping on his back with his fingers intertwined on his stomach. While to his right, Nikolai was snoring, rather loudly, splayed out across his blankets, half-on half-off.
He returned his attention to the delectable smell coming from, what he guessed, was the kitchen. He rose up from his blankets, still in his full gear. Realizing this, he turned around and stripped his person of his guns, his knife, and a few grenades. He then took off his tannish-green jacket, leaving him with a plain army-green t-shirt.
Sighing in relief at not having to wear them full time anymore, he turned and started towards where he believed the wonderful scent was coming from. He stepped into, what looked to be, the kitchen and saw the purple pony dumping pancakes onto a platter. But she wasn’t touching anything, the pan she was using was surrounded in a sort of purple aura.
Twilight looked up at Dempsey. “Oh, hi Tank! Sleep well?” she asked with seemingly genuine interest.
“Best sleep I had in years actually.” he responded flatly as if in a daze. His gaze darted between the pan and her horn, which was also engulfed in the purplish aura.
"Magic." Twilight stated.
"Huh?” Dempsey said recovering from his trance.
“It’s magic. You aren’t from here, that’s for sure, so I assumed you were wondering what this was.” she said pointing at her horn as the aura dissipated.
“The only magic I know of gives us ammo and the ability to kill things instantly." Tank said.
She looked at him with wide eyes. “And you possess this magic?” she asked quietly.
“Nah, it just appears sometimes when we need it.” He said nonchalantly “Richtofen’s friend’s daughter’s spirit controls that. But I don’t think she exists in this universe.”
She calmed down a bit at this. “You want some?” Twilight asked, gesturing toward the fluffy cakes. “I made them for you four.”
“Damn right I want some! I haven’t had a home-cooked meal in…” he pondered for a few seconds. “ever really.” he concluded.
“Never?” Twilight asked with a frown.
“Nope.”
“Well, if you want to go wake your friends up, I’ll get some plates and utensils and we can eat.” the purple alicorn said, turning around and grabbing said items.
Dempsey groaned at the thought of having to deal with a cranky Richtofen. It was hard enough dealing with a normal Richtofen.
He turned and walked into the main library room where the four of them slept the previous night. Walking up to the nearest person, Takeo, he knelt down and gently shook the Samurai. Takeo’s eyes opened instantly and he rose to his feet and drew his katana to Dempsey's neck.
“Woah there Tak, It’s just me. Breakfast is ready.” Tank said raising his hands.
Takeo held his ground for a few seconds longer before withdrawing his weapon and sheathing it. “Breakfast?” he asked confused as he looked around the library.
“Yeah, Twilight made pancakes for all of us.” Dempsey answered, rubbing his neck where the blade had been. “In there.” he pointed towards the kitchen.
Takeo nodded then walked off, leaving Tank to wake the other two. Dempsey walked up to the right of the front door where Nikolai lied, still snoring. He kicked the Russian a few times in the head. Nikolai sat up instantly, eyes still closed.
“Vodka?” he said in a sad tone.
Dempsey just rolled his eyes and slapped the back of Nikolai’s head.
“Vodka!” the Russian shouted almost crying. He turned around to see Tank standing above him. “Why you hit me?!” he asked in his normal voice.
“To wake you up dumbass” Tank responded. “Pancakes are in the kitchen.” he said pointing behind him.
“I guess it is for the better, I had terrible dream! Vodka kept running away from me! I couldn’t drink! It was hell!” He then recalled what the American just said. “Pancakes?!”
Nikolai then stood and made his way towards the kitchen with his arms outstretched. Tank just stood there for a few seconds before starting towards where Richtofen was sleeping.
Tank just stood over the German wondering how to go about waking him up. Many devious things ran through his mind. But he settled on just dropping a book on his face.
Dempsey smiled and picked a book up off of the shelves. He then proceeded to line it up with the doctor's face, then he dropped it. It raced down until a hand came and slapped it away.
“Nien!” Richtofen yelled. “Bad Dempsey! Bad!” He turned over and pulled his blankets over his face. “Shtay back, before I cut out your spleen!” He laughed. “I heard about ze pancakes, zey shmell so WUNDERBAR!” Richtofen yelled into his pillow, then proceeded to laugh quite hard into it. He quickly stopped and turned over to face Dempsey, pulling his covers off of his face.
“You don’t have to shtand zere, I may be crazy but I am not a child.” Richtofen stated.
Dempsey shook his head and started back to the kitchen. “Oh, und Dempsey?”
Dempsey sighed “What?”
“You und zat yellow pony look so CUTE togezah!” Edward then flailed about under the blankets, laughing uncontrollably.
“Fuck off Richtofen!” Dempsey then quickly made his way back into the kitchen, which is now full of picture perfect pancakes.
He proceeded to one of the five seats at the table, in between Nikolai and Twilight. Sitting down, he grabbed a few pancakes and set them on his plate.
“These are good! They almost make up for me not having any vodka! Almost...” Nikolai said taking a bite out of his pancakes.
Takeo sat on the opposite of the table from the Russian, grimacing at him before inspecting his own plate. After he was content, he picked up a fork and cut a well sized piece and eating it. He quietly moaned in ecstasy.
Dempsey looked at Takeo with slight confusion embedded in his expression. “That good, Tak?”
The Asian nodded in confirmation before stuffing another bite in his face, completely forgetting his manners. Tank looked at Twilight who was smiling at the three of them.
“You not having any?” Tank asked prepping his own pancakes for consumption.
“Nah, I got up earlier and ate.” Twilight said.
“Alright.” He took a bite out of the fluffy breakfast item. “Holy shit! This is really good! Where did you learn to make this?” he asked surprised.
“Oh, I just found a recipe in one of my cookbooks.” Twilight answered. “I can’t cook to save my life, so it was either that or they probably would’ve come out like bland rocks.” she chuckled.
“Well you should use that book more often.” He said, then continued devouring his breakfast eagerly.
A few minutes had passed when Richtofen stumbled into the kitchen looking at the others. He proceeded to walk to the opposite side of Dempsey; in between Takeo and Nikolai. Sitting down, the doctor looked to both of them.
“Dempsey, fetch me some pancakes.” Richtofen ordered.
“Fuck no! They’re right in front of your fucking face!” Dempsey shouted.
The other three looked up to see a calm doctors face, and an angry Dempsey’s face. Richtofen then began laughing. Dempsey looked at him, confused.
“I just adore how I can push your buttons like zat, Dempsey!” He laughed, then quickly returned to his original calm state.
The doctor picked a few pancakes off of the center platter, placing them on his plate.
As they were all eating, Twilight looked to Dempsey.
"So, enlighten me on how exactly you got here." she said.
Dempsey pointed to Richtofen. "Ask him, he knows all about the teleporter. Don't ask me how, that thing is complex as fuck."
Twilight looked at the German expectantly.
Richtofen swallowed then cleared his throat. “Vell, our Russian friend here dropped his vodka onto ze MDT receiver pad, so my guess is zat ven ze teleporter mainframe had novhere to send us it stored us in ze cache. But, I sink since ze receiver vasn’t able to get power, ze mainframe overloaded vis ze power zat was supposed to be used by ze receiver, effectively sending us to a different dimension.” He said, still pondering. “Who knew ze MDT vas capable of interdimensional travel? Anyvay, visout ze receiver pad, ve aren’t going anyvhere.” Richtofen finished.
“Well, since you don’t seem to be able to return, I guess you’re stuck here.” Twilight said matter of factly.
“Fine with me, as long as I get vodka!” Shouted Nikolai as he finished off his last bite.
“I’d rather be in ‘pretty pink horseland’ than one filled with zombies.” Dempsey said with a shrug.
Takeo nodded in contentment.
“Alright, well if you’re going to stay in Ponyville you should think about getting some form of work. Maybe some of my friends could use your help.” Twilight said
Knock! Knock! Knock!
“I’ll be right back.” she said, getting up and trotting away.
Some chatter was heard from the main room, then Twilight looked into the kitchen.
“When you guy’s finish your breakfast, come out into the other room. My friends want to talk to you.” she said retracting her head from the doorway and trotting off.
After the four finished up and put their dishes by the sink, they walked out to meet the ponies. There was Twilight, Pinkie, Fluttershy, a white unicorn with a purple mane, and a orange pony with a light yellow mane. Nikolai was greeted by yet another tackle from a smiling Pinkie. They landed on the ground and Nikolai groaned grasping his head.
“Ah, fuck! My head!” he said as he looked up at the hyper pony. “Vodka, or get the fuck off.”
She just giggled then pulled another bottle of vodka from her mane, handing it to him. Nikolai drank a gulp then sighed contently with Pinkie still standing on top of him. She then took his relaxation as a sign that she didn’t have to get off and layed on top of him facing the group. Nikolai just layed there and after a few seconds, he was snoring.
Dempsey just rolled his eyes and looked at the other four ponies before him. “So, what did your friends want to talk to us about?”
“Pinkie told them about you, so they came to see what a ‘human’ was. Plus I talked to them about your current situation, and Pinkie has an opening at the bakery, Applejack could use some help at her farm, and I need an extra helping hand here. I feel bad for making Spike do everything by himself.” Twilight said with a smile.
“I vould love to help here! It vill give me a chance to learn more about zis vorld!” Richtofen said with great enthusiasm.
Nikolai snorted awake. “Huh?” He then looked around and up at Pinkie. “What are we talking about?”
“You working at Sugarcube Corner silly!” Pinkie said cheerfully.
Nikolai lied his head back groaning then quickly looked up. “Will there be vodka?”
Pinkie just smiled wider… somehow. “Why wouldn’t there be?” she giggled.
He smiled back. “Fck yeah, I’m in!”
Applejack spoke up. “The apple farm is nice, quiet, an’ peaceful if that makes a difference.”
Takeo stepped forward. “Anywhere quiet, and away from that Russian.” he said giving Nikolai a dirty look.
Applejack smiled. “Great!”
Twilight looked at Dempsey and frowned. “Oh, I guess you could help me and Richtofen here.” she said shrugging.
The Marine looked at her wide eyed and shook his head. “Oh hell no!” He then realized Fluttershy was here. “Oh, sorry Fluttershy.”
“It’s okay.” Fluttershy said, then softly cleared her throat. “Um, Tank? You could help me take care of my animals. That is, if you want to.”
“Anything but Richtofen.” he said walking over to the pegasus.
Richtofen eyed him and the pegasus, looking back and forth, smiling devilishly.
Dempsey just gave the doctor a ‘go fuck yourself’ look.
The group chatted for a good hour before they decided it was time to return to their respective homes.
“Bye Twilight, see ya tomorrow!” Applejack shouted as she was leaving the library, Takeo in tow.
“Come on Nikolai! There’s more vodka at Sugarcube Corner!” Pinkie said bouncing out the door.
“I’m coming, I’m coming! Sheesh… Like mother...” Nikolai said walking out the door behind Pinkie.
“Bye Darlings!” Rarity said as the also departed.
“Alright Tank, if we hurry, I can show you how to feed and properly play with the birds!” Fluttershy said with an unusual amount of enthusiasm. “Bye Twilight! Bye Richtofen!”
Tank followed her out the door.
A few moments of silence pass.
“Wanna read?” Twilight asked.
“Ja.” Richtofen said.
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FUCKING
AWESOME
I was actually planning on doing some CoD: Zombies stories
I already have a Mob of the Dead one planned out, I'm gonna do Origins, and then TranZit, Die Rise, and Buried
And I only have Kino der Toten for Black ops, and I don't have WaW
4276070
i'm not sure what 'otp' means, but isn't Tank a little too on the crazy, violent, swearing, wackadoodle side for Fluttershy?
4320718 is "one true pairing"
4320745
I take back what I said earlier. Fluttershy and Tank are perfect together
My OTP, (One True Pairing) is comming true!!!
We need Richtofen to meet
4322091 the agreement comity agrees
Hmmm, I like this, try to lower the pacing a wee bit, its going by real fast
4322091 Or is it...
4326718
... Oh, your serious...
From what I can tell, yes...
4322091
Ooohh
You're right
Cause Richtofen is German
And Photo Finish is also German(e).
4329161
I want to see how Richtofen would act meeting her. It would be so good!
Well his breath HAS proven to get the undead Nazis drunk.
Hmm, I always thought Pinkie would have been the coke dealer.
Those last lines made me laugh so hard... Like baseball bat
Whens the next chapter coming out?
4607800 It's coming along. Between work, making music, and drawing it's been difficult to find writing time. But it is coming along rather nicely.
This is good and addictive like oxi, but no new chapters?? Are you cutting me off my DRUG?! Sheesh like mother -.-
>Round 54
>Ray Gun
>making a crawler with a grenade
kek.
That was pretty good overall, but there's one thing I didn't like, it's how everypony was like 'oh well, four giant aliens covered in dirt and blood and smelling like death, swearing all the time and one of them drinks more vodka than the average person drinks water, uh? that's a perfectly normal thing I guess, let's just let them all live here without alerting the princesses or anything, it's cool'.
I was expecting Twilight to spam questions, Rarity to go like 'blabla uncouth blabla my goodness your clothes blabla', Rainbow not to trust them at all (or be amazed by Dempsey's tales of badassery - speaking of Rainbow, I wanna see Tank meet Tank), Fluttershy to be much more scared than 'um, what are you? don't swear pls' and Applejack... well, I don't know. Ask them about apples and shit.
Pinkie was pretty much perfect though. Nikolai x Pinkie OTP (looks like he'll have to use his bare hands - always talking).
And I was expecting Richtofen to try and cut a pony open to find the source of their magic or something (and their shpleen of course).
4999926 They've seen weirder things and reacted normally, just saying. Also don't be so supsticious and you won't be disappointed.
Jessus criest! I just found this story and read all the chapters and I laugh my ASS OFF! I cant Wait till the next chapter. Also great work man.
HAHAHA
To hilarious when it comes to Dimpsey in rage mode
Just too much