“Spike!” Twilight screamed, waking up in a cold sweat. Bolting upright from her position she threw her covers off and frantically looked around her room. A few glances around proved that there was nothing out of the ordinary. All of her books were in place and every paper on her desk stood perfectly in the center of her table. Her breath slowing, Twilight calmed herself. She took note of the bags packed in the corner. Sparing a brief thought, she remembered when she packed it but couldn't for the life of her remember why.
“Ah take it ‘ya had that dream again, huh?”
Twilight snapped out of her daze to look at her bedroom door; standing in the doorway stood one of her best friends, already fully dressed in her signature baggy orange outfit, darker sleeveless over jacket and stetson classically placed atop of her head. Interestingly enough she wasn't wearing her gloves or her boxers boots yet.
“Um, yes. Sorry, AJ, did I wake you up?” Twi answered as she looked down at her hands; which were currently busy clenching her covers.
“Nah, ah've actually been up for ‘bout an hour training and workin’ out. Reckon ah broke my old liftin’ record this mornin.” AJ went over and sat down at the foot of Twilight’s bed. “Bet ya woke Rainbow up though, world knows she sleeps too much anyhow.”
Twilight didn’t even crack a smile, she only continued to look down at her hands in deep thought. Knowing that this is how she usually got whenever Spike was mentioned, AJ knew that she had to do something about this.
AJ gently sat a hand on her friend’s shoulder. Giving a small squeeze, she got Twilight’s attention. “Listen hun, we’ll find him, we all promised that when we first got here 8 years ago, an’ that ain’t changed one bit. Okay?”
Twilight looked up at her friend’s smiling face, tiny baubles of liquid glistening in the corners of her eyes. Giving a small smile, Twilight wiped them away. “I know that. Thank you, AJ. I just wonder why I had that dream again. It’s been almost four years since the last time I had it.
AJ seemed to think about it for a moment, putting her hand up to her chin and pursing her lips in mock thought. “Well, ah don’t know anythin’ about that, but do yah know what ah do know?” This seemed to grab Twilight’s attention as she locked eyes with her taller friend.
With a wink AJ looked back down at her with a cheeky grin. “Ah know that Pinkie’s down there cookin’ up a mess of food for today,” she finished. Standing up, she walked towards the door. “So hurry on up and get dressed or Dash’ll eat it all.”
Twilight’s grin faded and was soon replaced with a hesitant look of confusion.
AJ read her like a book. “Yah don’t remember what today is, do ya?” she deadpanned.
Twilight’s eyes darted back and forth nervously. “Yes… maybe… no,” she admitted, fiddling around with her fingers.
AJ decided to introduce her hand to her shaking head. “Oh Twi, you’re supposed to be the smart one. Today’s the day when we finally get to see new worlds. You know, our Mark of Mastery Exam?”
As the final remnants of sleep’s mental fog cleared away from her, Twilight's eyes grew wide with realization. Her mouth followed suit as she began to remember every daydream that she'd had for this day. But before she could express her excitement, she was yanked out of the bed, to the doorway, by a pink-nailed pair of hands.
Pinkie swung the still-groggy girl around gleefully before hugging her close. “That’s right! Today’s the day where we can meet new friends, visit new worlds, fight new enemies, gain new skills, and create new abilities!” Thrusting her hand into the air dramatically she continued listing off her hopes.
“We’ll meet new monsters that’ll try to kill us as we valiantly search for the truth. We’ll have tons of fun as we discover dark secrets about ourselves and each other that’ll test our friendships and change our fates forever. We might even—” She stopped only when AJ forcefully pinched her lips shut and told her to stop.
“We get it hun, it’ll be a right swell time,” she said.
Twilight shook herself free of the sudden whiplash that she felt, and looked over at her energetic, enigmatic friend’s smiling face. She could never help but to smile when near her. She thought back to all the times where her pink friend brought her out of her depression in the early years of her training.
The lovely scene of reminiscence ended abruptly as a more pressing thought pushed itself to the forefront of her mind, something that AJ said earlier.
“Pinkie, AJ said you were cooking breakfast, right. You didn’t leave the stoves on did you?!” she asked, her paranoia causing her bed-tangled hair to start sticking up at odd angles. Despite Pinkie being a remarkable cook and technician in her eyes, Pinkie was also very spontaneous and forgetful.
Pinkie stopped talking through pursed lips just long enough to fully register what Twilight said. “Oh, no silly,” she chuckled. “I’ve already finished all of the cooking and I made stuff for everyone,” she said, throwing her hands into the air and waving them like she just didn't care.
Which she did not.
Twilight stared at her with wide eyes, and she briefly wondered if she’d ever stop doing that when it came to her odd, pink friend. Probably not, she thought.
“All of it?” she said aloud. “How long have you been up?”
“Same time as Jackie,” she answered nonchalantly, her bright smile never wavering.
Twilight looked over at AJ only to get a shrug in return. In the end she simply pinched the bridge of her nose and wondered.
Maybe getting up early is just an earthen thing, she thought.
“Well let’s go wake up the others then..." Looking between her friend she began to formulate a plan of attack. "Pinkie you get Rarity, AJ you get Dash, and I’ll get Shy.”
“Right.”
“Okie-Doky, Lokey!”~~~
Rachelle “Rainbow” Dash groggily punched at the air. “Can’t beat me,” she sleepily cheered. Smirking, she turned over in her bed, her dream still seeping into reality. “Mugh woo… first place, take that, Gilda,” RD muttered as she lie haphazardly across her bed. Standing in the doorway, AJ worked had to suppress her giggles at her thoughts of how she would go about waking her rainbow-haired friend. She settled on the classic name tease joke.
“Come on! Time to wake up there, Rainbow,” she said as she started to shake the girl’s bed back and forth. Not getting an immediate response, AJ simply resorted to yanking off what remained of her covers and knocking her onto the cold, unforgiving ground.
One thump later, Dash’s eyes slowly opened and locked onto AJ’s for a brief moment before closing once again. “Don’t call me Rainbow,” was her only response as she lie flat on the floor, face-first.
AJ only chose to roll her eyes before responding. “Well why not, I’ve been callin' ya Rainbow since we were kids,” she said, wearing a full on smirk.
Dash opened her eyes once again, this time hardened into a glare. “And I've been telling you since we were kids,” she stated plainly, “either call me Dash or Rach. I’ll kill you if you call me Rach so what’s your choice?” She then flopped back down, still enjoying the cold, somewhat comfortable wooden floor.
AJ started to wonder if she could roll her eyes out of her head. “Your full name is Rachelle Ashley Dash, but ya want me to call you ‘Dash’, why?”
“‘Cuz ‘Rainbow’ sounds weird.”
“And?”
Dash looked up at her tall friend once more, this time with a smirk on her face. “Your full name is Jacquelyn Ball Apple, but you want us to call you ‘AJ’?”
AJ stood there for a few seconds, glaring at her floor-dwelling friend. After a few seconds she threw her head up and sighed, defeated. “Fine, point taken, now get up so we can go eat breakfast before…” She stopped as she heard soft snoring coming from her feet. She looked down to see Dash once again in deep sleep. Sighing she took this opportunity to look around Dash’s room.
She looked over the thrown-about floor full of comics, and “action figures”, and eventually she took notice of the various workout tools and weights. Jeez, she works out almost as much as ah do but she still sleeps like a rock, how she’s still so slim? Does she sleep it all off or was it that “condensed muscle, fast metabolism” stuff that Twi talked about? She smirked at a random memory of Rarity getting upset at the fact that Dash could eat anything and stay slim.
Eventually, she’d had her fill of the messy sight and half-naked girl, and decided to simply drag her sleeping friend into the bathroom and dunk her head into the cold water.
“Every day, Rainbow… every day,” she muttered.
“Mmgh... don’t… Rainbow…” RD muttered as AJ dragged her to her bathroom.
Interesting. I would offer to proofread, but I have a really crappy computer that breaks down at least every other week, & an even crappier internet connection. I can`t afford much, but it`s all good. Why?
x5
I'm liking where this is going. Are you going to make Spike like an anti hero keyblader?
4248215
more or less
4248226 Than you have my up most attention.
I see what you did at Fluttershy's eyes
4248282 It would be interesting to see Spike like that. I mean not as cut and dry good as the "main" 6 would be but more of a wondering hero that doesn't fear that dark (while not letting it take "full" control of him) But because he does have ties to the dark they see it as he needs saving (while some in the group might see him as beyond saving as some (or one) might just want to be back with her knight lol) They are the knights that stand in the light while he is the night that protects from the shadows while battling his own demons lol.
4251144 That would be cool, throw in duel wielding keyblades, one darkness themed and one themed after his green dragon fire, along with being able to use the corridors of darkness to get around or to make a quick and mysterious exit and you'll have one badass Spike with powers of a dragonblood, fire and darkness.
4251400 4251144 lol maybe i should scrap what i've got and just use your ideas hmmmmm nahhh
But seriously i do have plans to make spike as badass as possible
4251400 I am with you there all the way. He could have combined his heartless form with his dragon state to lock it with his greed.As a way to keep the darkness in check. Just think his first appearance is him coming in and saving Rarity and leaving before anyone really notice what happen. He would be a great reality check for the naivety the girls would have about how the world really works. It would also be interesting if Dash start to really hate Spike because he beats her and she blames it on him taking the dark so she tries to do the same without realizing that the only reason he can handle it is because he is part dragon. It would be a interesting way to play with their personalities and morals by having this darker hero that doesn't do everything black and white as they do.
Is the main six going to be slightly afraid of Spike? Because if they are it will be inserting to see how Spike will take it.
4251438 Hmm, the darker side of his dragon like instincts becoming his inner Heartless due to the exposure to the Darkness and when he really needs it he can become it for no longer than a few minutes(similar to Sora's Heartless form in KH2) so he doesn't lose himself to the heartless. I like.
You know I've been a Kingdom Hearts fan since they first brought it to the states and I'm still one to this day. The thought of making a KH crossover has crossed my mind more than once. All this talk has brought out the same spark I had when I came up with the ideas for Legacy and Dragon's Pride.
It's settled, after I update some of my stories I'm doing my own KH crossover.
4251577
Oiii i dont think i like all this talk of mutiny overhere
4251577 Gravy!!!! And you know me "DragonPony" will be right there to read every word and leave comment after comment just like I do with all the stories I like lol. It will be interesting I can see yours more focus on Spike's handling of the Keyblade (mind you I am a huge fan myself lol) Whereas this one is more about the main 6 and their struggles with dealing with their power and responsibilities. Just think if Spike developed a warrior of Light form due to his pure heart as well as his Darkness (heartless) dragon state. But... then he gets a Light dragon state (a mix of light and dark) When I lose my eyes I can see him in the form floating in front of me and all I can say is kick ass. I want to see Spike fight Stitch tho lol.
4251601 Lol I don't think this is mutiny, I feel your stories will flow much in such different ways that all Kingdom Hearts fans will love both of your stories. Where His feel it will be more of a play off a Sora style. Yours i get a more Birth after Sleep style to it. And that will give you both your own room to play and create without pulling from each other audiences. Hell due to the multiverse style KH does you two could even have cross over specials down the road lol.
4251547 I could see it, well I can see half being afraid, have happy to see him alive only to put it together that something is different about him, and the rest seeing him as just another bad guy now and the only way to save him is to destroy him.
4251612 Well, I would probably try to balance between Spike and the Six. I'm probably going to give more info on Spike while not giving much away early on in the story.
4251601 Think of it like this, your KH crossover inspired me to make my own.
4251625 a crossover does sound kind of awesome
It don't matter awesome first chapter. I like that you used Ashleigh Ball's name for Rainbow Dash and Applejack. Was it spur of the moment or did you plan to use their Voice actor's name as part of Rainbow Dash and Applejack's names. Either way that was awesome and a clever plot device
whew you stopped it from becoming to mature thank god i figured there may have been more but thank god you stopped
So I randomly noticed this, I usually make it my business to read every KH crossover I find on this site, I've never read a good one which has been an immense shame. But I was interested by this story since it seemed a little less traditional than other crossovers and more along the lines of what I'd write if I were attempting it.
The first good point is that, that it isn't just a blunt mash up of two franchises but rather takes elements from both t create something entirely new, which is what I've always preached should be the norm for crossovers rather than the exception.
Now after fooling you into thinking I had more good points to make, here are the problems I encountered ans have raised major warning signs for me to stop reading after only 2 chapters:
The obvious one is the writing quality itself, just because you acknowledge it's bad doesn't mean it's okay to ignore it. You've written almost 130,00 words, an impressive amount, but you never thought to go back to the start and fix all your mistakes? What is there to tell new readers that the rest of the story is going to be written any better?
The other problem with the writing is the exposition, it's so clunky and forced, the dialogue also conveys this, and when it's not exposition it's just stuff that sounds weird and completely pointless to the story itself, like it's just there to pad it out.
Then there's the characters names, mostly they're the same as in the show... but then you've given a couple really weird, really stupid names. Like... why? I simply don't understand why some have new names given to them, or why their new names have to be so painful to say aloud.
My only other issue is a silly one, but it's juts that what I've read so far is already starting to give me a vibe that this story is going to full of anime styled angst, particularly with regards to Spike.
It definitely looks like it has potential, certainly more than any other KH fic I've seen on this site, but I don't much fancy having to drag myself through over 100,000 words if the fears I'm already developing after the first chapter have any merit to them. So I'll add it to my read later, maybe I'll give it a go, maybe I won't, my one bit of advice if you don't want to put off new readers is stop adding more to your already huge word count, and go back and fix what you've already written.
Looking really good so far!