TWILIGHT SPARKLE: SPELLBOUND
By Saddlesoap Opera
Part Six of the Pony Psychology Series
PART TWO: RESTORATION
The golden Pegasus-drawn chariot cut through the clear morning skies over Ponyville, and arced down into the town square for a landing. Its lone dark-maned purple Unicorn occupant hopped down onto the street, and nodded appreciatively to her chauffeurs. They whickered proudly, and then took off once more.
The Unicorn trotted purposefully through the streets of Ponyville – she was a mare on a mission. As she turned a corner, she almost bumped into a frizzy-maned pink Earth Pony carrying a fireplace bellows in her mouth.
Pinkie Pie let the bellows drop and unleashed a tremendous gasp, the force of which propelled her several feet upwards.
"TWILIGHT! You're back!"
Twilight Sparkle smiled, and gave a tiny nod. "Hello, Pinkie."
"Wow! Wowie-wow! You were gone for two days, and now you're back! This is great! Super great! Super-duper great! You know what this calls for…?" The speed with which Pinkie spoke left her nearly breathless.
Twilight held up a front hoof. "Wait, Pinkie. I'm pretty tired. Why don't you and I hold off on the party for now, and just go get a grain smoothie? You know…a nice, quiet, casual chat. You can catch me up on what's happened while I've been gone. My treat?"
Pinkie Pie's enormous smile shrank to a more modest grin. "…Okie dokie."
A few minutes later, Pinkie Pie and Twilight Sparkle sat atop a grassy hill on the outskirts of Ponyville, facing the town. Pinkie Pie noisily sipped her smoothie through a complicated purple curly-straw.
"Everypony was so scared after seeing Celestia get all–" Pinkie Pie looked around cautiously, and lowered her voice. "–grumpy, that we pretty much galloped straight home. Nopony even tried to keep arguing, or fighting, or anything." Pinkie Pie took another loud sip. "We haven't really seen each other much since then…well, at least I haven't seen anypony."
Twilight nodded slowly. "That might be for the best…it seems like things were getting a bit…heated, before. Maybe everypony needed a chance to calm down."
Pinkie Pie frowned. "Yeah…" She perked up suddenly. "Wait…! You have to tell me what happened to you! The way you both poofed away, I thought you were gonna end up banished for sure!"
Twilight looked away. "The Princess…taught me a lesson. One I needed to learn. It was…" She trailed off; words failed her.
Pinkie Pie's brow knitted in worry. "Oh no! So she did punish you! I knew it! Did you get burned? Beaten? Battered? Baked? Sliced? Diced? Sliced twice? Covered in mice? Given lice? Sliced thrice? Over-spiced? Put on ice?" Pinkie's hooves clapped to her cheeks in horror; she gasped for breath.
Twilight Sparkle shook her head vehemently. "No! It was nothing like that! …It was still pretty scary though. Even here in Ponyville, everypony knows me as the Princess' student. When she got that angry, it felt like she might stop being my teacher. I was terrified of that. It felt like – I don't know – like if I wasn't her protégé, Ponies wouldn't even recognize me…like I'd be nopony. I know there's more to me than that, but the image that's built up around me is so strong, it's as if…"
Pinkie's pale blue eyes were wide and watery. "…as if you can't help but try to live up to it?" she whispered, uncharacteristically still and quiet.
Twilight nodded. "But things turned out alright. She was a lot less mad than she seemed, and the more I thought about it, the more I knew that you all would still know me – and care about me – no matter what I was…or wasn't."
Pinkie Pie bit her lower lip, and sniffed back tears. "H-how did you...?"
Twilight smiled. "Like I said...the Princess taught me a lesson. I realized that I've been taking all of your friendships somewhat for granted, and I decided to do something about it. Once I made that decision, it all came down to a mix of observation, deduction, and a little magic. For example: you have dark circles under your eyes, you breathe quickly and shallowly even when you're at rest, and you blink a lot. It's obvious to anypony who actually looks at you that you're exhausted. Clearly, what you need is some leisure time. Maybe a party."
Pinkie's heart sank like a stone. "But..." Tears slid down her cheeks. "N-no...it can't be...I thought...I thought you..." she sobbed.
Twilight put her front hooves firmly on Pinkie's shoulders, and stared deeply into her eyes. "Pinkie...what is a party for?"
Pinkie sniffled. "F-for...fu-un..." she whimpered.
"That's right. So if you haven't been having any fun...you haven't been partying."
Pinkie's eyes nearly crossed in confusion. "I...I haven't?"
"Most certainly not. And as Ponyville's primary Pony party purveyor, it is your precious purpose to party properly. Right?"
Pinkie wiped her eyes with a foreleg. "Y-yeah..."
"Well, then! Clearly you don't have to even try to have another party until you can do it justice. A party's not a party if the party-Pony's heart isn't in it. The only party you need to work on...is one in here." Twilight pressed a hoof to Pinkie's chest. "The rest of them can wait as long as they have to."
"Oh, Twilight...thank you!" she squeaked and pulled Twilight into a hug, giggling through her tears.
The party balloon Cutie Marks on Pinkie Pie's flanks drew into sharp relief, brightening until they almost glowed.
The Foal is unflinchingly merry,
Her world full of laughter and song.
But that life of joy has made her wary
Of speaking up when things go wrong.
•·•·•·•·•·•·•·•·•·•
Soon after, Twilight Sparkle trotted and Pinkie Pie bounded down the dirt road on the edge of Ponyville; ahead, the vast spread of farm-Pony plots spread out for miles. They turned down the path to the closest farm: Sweet Apple Acres.
The pair skirted the edge of the property, heading for the farmhouse. Farther down the lane, they spotted a Stetson-wearing orange Earth Pony speaking to her fiery-maned neighbor.
"Just give me a second, Pinkie," said Twilight, trotting on ahead.
Pinkie Pie nodded. While she waited, she surreptitiously jabbed a nearby tree with a back leg, and snapped up the resulting fallen apple.
"…I know it musta stung ya somethin' fierce, and I really am sorry, Carrot Top." Applejack turned slightly away, crossing her front hooves anxiously. "Can ya forgive me?"
"You Apples ain't never been anythin' but fine neighbours in the past. Apology accepted." The yellow Earth Pony smiled, and then trotted away.
Applejack let out a sigh of relief, which she sucked right back in with a gasp as her gaze fell on the purple Unicorn approaching her.
"Peel 'n' core me! TWILIGHT!" Applejack surged forward and took up Twilight Sparkle's front hooves in her own. "Shewt, I worried y'all were never comin' back!"
"It's good to see you, Applejack."
"So what happened? I ain't ever seen the Princess so mad before. Shucks, I figured we were all bucked fer sure!" Applejack winced. "Pardon m'language."
"Princess Celestia just reminded me of my duties." Twilight sagged. "It can be …difficult… sometimes, being her pupil."
Applejack released Twilight's hooves. "Yeah…?"
Twilight nodded. "Having powerful magic is something I was born with, but that hasn't made it easy. Even at the School for Gifted Unicorns, everypony knew I was…different. The Princess hadn't taken a personal student in something like a hundred years, and it made me stand out no matter how hard I tried to blend in. Sometimes, I wished I was just...normal."
Applejack projected an air of nonchalance, but her words betrayed her:
"Huh. That sounds familiar–" She stomped the ground. "Rough! That sounds rough."
"It was, but after a time I came to realize that I couldn't change who I was, and that the Ponies who care about me wouldn't want me to lie to myself. They would like me the way I am. Just like how I like you the way you are, Applejack."
The orange Earth Pony froze, and then swallowed hard. "The way…? Wh-what way d'you mean, Twilight?" A sheen of sweat appeared on Applejack's brow.
"You know…" said Twilight coyly. "…Strong. Hard-working. Forthright. Honest. Proud. The very model of a dependable Earth Pony – the backbone of Equestria." She smiled. "I'm honoured to have you as a friend."
Applejack blushed. "Yer too kind! But, what about…" Applejack waited for her free-willed mouth to force her to blurt out the rest of the shame-inducing sentence…but no urge came. She stayed quiet.
"What else matters?" asked Twilight sunnily. "Would anything else change those things I mentioned?"
Applejack slowly smiled. "...No - I s'pose it wouldn't. Would'ja care fer some fritters?"
"Absolutely–"
"YUM!" exclaimed Pinkie, suddenly appearing from behind Twilight.
Applejack and Twilight laughed, and Pinkie soon joined in. As the three headed for the farm, Applejack leaned in close and whispered to Twilight: "How did ya know?"
"AJ..." Twilight whispered back. "I attended an all-fillies school; Pinkie's not the only one with a sense for some things."
When the trio trotted into the farmhouse, the apple Cutie Marks on Applejack's flanks shone riper and redder than the finest produce from her farm.
The Tradesmare labours without tiring,
Her honest words a bond of honour.
Not one for plots or conspiring,
Secrets weigh heavy upon her.
•·•·•·•·•·•·•·•·•·•
Twilight Sparkle hopped out of the pink and purple hot-air balloon's basket onto the pliant white cloudstuff that served as building material for Pegasi. She smiled; the spell that allowed wingless Ponies to walk on clouds was working as well as ever. She turned back to the balloon's other two occupants.
"I won't be long. Will you two be okay waiting here?"
"You bet!" said Applejack and Pinkie Pie in unison.
While Twilight trotted over to the cloud-mansion's front door, Applejack turned to Pinkie.
"Say, while we got a minute…I wanted to tell ya how sorry I am 'bout wreckin' yer room th'other day, sugarcube. …And scarin a yellow stripe up yer back with m'hollerin'. …And whuppin' the tar outta Dash while she was tryin' to help you. …And kickin' you." The orange Earth Pony rubbed a front hoof across her other foreleg sheepishly.
"Aww, that's okay," said Pinkie, smiling. "Fixing everything in my room was like solving a great big jigsaw puzzle. I love puzzles!"
"Oh. Uhh…well, great, then," said Applejack, a look of consternation on her face.
Meanwhile, twilight knocked on the door. After a lengthy delay it slowly creaked inward, and a fatigued blue Pegasus with a colourful mane peered out.
"Twilight?" said Rainbow Dash, her voice scratchier than usual. "Awesome! Come on in."
Twilight followed her friend inside, but then stopped in the entryway. Her jaw dropped.
The interior of the house was a disaster. Creased and dog-eared weather planning charts were strewn across the floors and pinned up on the walls. Used dishes were piled up in corners and on what few chart-free surfaces remained. Here and there, hoof-tracks in liquid rainbow stained the floors.
Rainbow Dash was struggling to don a heavy pair of tinted protective goggles attached by an array of straps to a saddle holding a brass tank labeled with a multi-coloured exclamation point. A row of seven metal nozzles jutted from the rear of the tank. Stiffness, fatigue and the last of a few unhealed bruises had robbed Dash of a fair measure of her range of motion; with nearly every bend and flex, she winced in pain.
"I was just – nng! – getting ready to go out and put up a rainbow, but I can totally make time to hear how things went down – rrg! – with the Princess."
Twilight trotted over to the blue Pegasus, and magicked the rainbow-spraying rig into a better fit. "Have you been taking extra weather shifts, Dash?" Twilight tried to sound casual, but the concern in her voice showed.
"Thanks! Yeah…I've been doing a few odd jobs, covering for sick Pegasi – that kind of thing. The gang hasn't really gotten together since you, y'know, left, and I hate to feel like I'm wasting time."
"What about Fluttershy?"
Rainbow Dash gulped. "I, uh, I haven't seen her either. After that fight outside the library, I figured I'd give her a chance to calm down." She ducked down and picked up the control bit for the rainbow tank with her mouth. She gave it an experimental bite, and a tiny spritz of colour puffed out of the nozzles. "Sho terr ree…wha' hff'ned?" she said, muffled by the bit.
Twilight rubbed the back of her neck with a front hoof. "Well, the whole thing was pretty complicated, right from the start. It felt really awkward to be stuck in the middle between you guys and the Princess. She's been so kind to me – I owe her so much that it felt wrong not to take her side, even though I felt like she was being unreasonable. You know what I mean?"
"Yhh!" Dash spit out the bit, and turned away. "…I mean, sure, yeah – I guess so." She looked up at a complex cirrus pattern diagram pinned on the wall. "So…what did you do?"
"I called her on it. I realized that standing up to somepony and saying how you really feel isn't the same thing as betraying their friendship. Sometimes, the best way you can have somepony's back is to face them down." Twilight paused. "Does that make any sense?"
Dash sighed, and the gesture seemed to release weeks of pent-up tension along with her breath. She turned back to face Twilight; the lenses of her goggles were misty. "…Totally. Thanks, Twilight. …For coming by, I mean!" Dash smiled.
"Any time, Dash. I'd better go, though – I don't want to keep you from your work!"
"Yeah…"
Dash shifted side to side. "You know…maybe I should take a break." She tugged at the release strap, and the rainbow rig dropped to the floor.
"Great! AJ and Pinkie are outside - I'm gathering up the whole gang. You can come along!"
"Cool!"
As Twilight Sparkle and Rainbow Dash trotted out into the sunlight, Dash's multi-hued lightning-bolt Cutie Marks shone like polished glass.
The Charger races ever forward,
Full of vim naught can dispel.
Loyal, stubborn and straightforward,
She'd follow a friend to Pony Hell.
•·•·•·•·•·•·•·•·•·•
Rainbow Dash led the way back down to Ponyville, while her Unicorn and Earth Pony friends followed in the balloon. As they descended through the sparse cloud cover, the sounds and smells of Ponyville rose up to meet them: Fresh baking. Blossoms. Hoofbeats. Songs. The balloon's basket touched down outside of Carousel Boutique. Near the ostentatious shop's front entrance, a Unicorn covered in layers of patched but well-sewn rags was magicking a hammer to nail up a wooden sign on the door lintel:
F O R S A L E:
FABULOUS SHOP FULL OF
DRESSES, ACCESSORIES
AND THE LIKE. IF INTERESTED, PLEASE
SEE STORE OWNER AND PROPRIETOR,
RARITY
The three Ponies climbed out of the balloon, while Dash alighted on a nearby fencepost. Twilight Sparkle trotted toward the shop, but then paused and turned to face the others.
"This looks bad…but I think we got here just in time." She pondered for a moment. "You'd better wait here…I don't think she'd want everypony to see her like this."
Twilight's three companions nodded and murmured in agreement.
While Twilight trotted toward the Unicorn in the homeless wretch ensemble, Applejack turned to Rainbow Dash. Dash noticed, and hopped down off of the fence to face her eye to eye. "Dash, I–" Rainbow Dash cut her off unintentionally with her own start: "AJ, listen–"
"You go," said Dash.
"I just wanted to say that I hope there ain't no bad blood between us. I was in a powerful odd way these past few days, and I weren't thinkin' none too clearly. I can't believe what a foal I was. I know y'all don't...see me...like I see you, but If I lost you as a friend as well, I'd just..." Applejack looked down in shame.
Rainbow Dash shrugged. "Yeah, well I didn't really try too hard to talk you down, either. We're still cool. And plus, Fluttershy kicked your butt – that's punishment enough in my book!" Dash gave a wry smile.
Applejack gawked, her heartache momentarily forgotten. "She sure as sugar did not! She bushwacked me, an' pulled me offa th'ground before I could peep. No way that's fair!"
"Oh? Does your 'no wings' policy go for ambushes, too?"
The two Ponies stared each other down, forehead to forehead. Pinkie Pie was about to intervene, when the two both smirked, snorted, and broke out laughing.
At the same time, Twilight Sparkle trotted over to the rag-swaddled Unicorn. She heaved a deep, theatrical sigh as Twilight approached, and sat down heavily on the path in front of the shop's door.
"You're too late," she muttered. "It's all over…I haven't a bit to my name. All I can do is sell my –" She choked up. "–beautiful shop…"
"Rarity, I tried to tell you earlier," said Twilight, kneeling down next to her dejected friend. "If you need money, why don't you sell some gems?"
Rarity gasped. "Oh, I couldn't! I could never be so greedy as to deprive my customers of the finest in jeweled fabulosity! You might as well ask Applejack to sell her…rope…thing."
"Lasso."
"Whatever."
Twilight sighed in exasperation. "And I was doing so well…" she said, under her breath.
"Beg pardon?"
"Nothing…" Twilight looked around.
A twinkling from a nearby trash bin caught her eye. She trotted over to it. "Wait…what about these gems? Did you throw these away?" She stirred her hooves through the trash; it was mostly gemstones and fabric remnants.
Rarity wrinkled her nose. "Of course, dah-ling. They're all flawed. Who would want them?"
Twilight magicked up a smooth red sphere. "…What's wrong with this one?"
"It isn't clear – there's an inclusion all through it. I tried to polish it, but the problem was inside it."
Twilight stared. "Rarity…this is a–" Twilight's horn flickered brighter for a moment. "–thirty, maybe thirty-one carat cabochon-cut corundum crystal with a six-point asterism!"
Rarity stared blankly.
Twilight groaned. "It's a STAR RUBY, Rarity!" she shouted. "It's INCREDIBLY valuable!"
"Valuable…?" Rarity's hood-shaded eyes brightened for a moment. "But it isn't perfect!"
Twilight smiled. "It's the imperfection that makes it valuable. Yes, it's not as clear as it could be on the inside, but when you look at it the right way, the worth of what's inside it becomes obvious."
She angled the gem in the sunlight; the rutile inclusions in the stone caught the light, releasing a brilliant star-shaped gleam.
The star reflected in Rarity's eyes. "My goodness…! I…I never saw…" She swallowed. "How much...?"
"If you sold it in Canterlot, this stone alone could buy every book in my library." Twilight magicked up a blue diamond and a yellow sapphire from the bin, bringing them over to float with the ruby. "Add these as well, and you could buy every book in Princess Celestia's library!"
Rarity pulled back her hood; underneath, her purple mane was as immaculately-coiffed as ever. "Oh, Twilight…! I'm saved! My Boutique is saved!" She galloped in place, squealing and giggling. Her rags fell away. She magicked the blue diamond out of Twilight's arcane grasp, and slid its sharpest point down the sign she'd nailed up. Half of the sign fell away, leaving it reading:
F O R
FABULOUS
DRESSES
AND THE LIKE
SEE STORE OWNER
RARITY
"Helloooo!" Rarity waved to her other friends, still waiting over by the balloon. "I have the most wonderful news! We simply must celebrate with a makeover – my treat!"
Twilight slapped a front hoof to her forehead. "Rarity…"
"What? Just because I've had some profound moment of realization about my personal value in others' eyes doesn't mean I can't still appreciate the finer things in life. I'm a Pony of means and distinction!" She shook her head, sending her coiled mane bouncing. As she turned to trot over to her friends her jewel Cutie Marks glittered, bright as any star.
The Jewel shines – a thing of beauty;
The finest bounty of the earth.
Sharing the wealth is her sworn duty,
But she doesn't know her inner worth.
•·•·•·•·•·•·•·•·•·•
The five Ponies trotted down the lane leading away from downtown Ponyville and toward Fluttershy's home. Twilight took the lead, followed by Pinkie Pie and Rarity, with Applejack and a hovering Rainbow Dash bringing up the rear. As they neared the hilltop cottage, the group stopped dead in their tracks.
The cottage was dark, its windows boarded up. Every one of the bird and animal houses that normally surrounded Fluttershy's domicile was missing. Even with the leaves and grass lush and green all around, their absence made the area seem barren and desolate.
A stirring from a nearby den caught the Ponies' attention; a small, purple reptilian crawled out into the late afternoon light.
"Twilight…? TWILIGHT! You're back! Thank Celestia!"
Spike came bounding over to his caretaker, his wide green eyes shining. As he drew close, a clanking chain unwinding behind him grew taut and he jerked backward, restrained by a small collar latched around his neck. "Urrk!"
The Ponies shared a collective gasp. Twilight approached her dazed assistant, and magicked the collar off his neck. "Spike…what happened here? Where's Fluttershy? Why were you chained up?"
The baby Dragon sat up, rubbing his neck. "She's still inside there! After you disappeared, she came and fetched me and Owlowiscious so we wouldn't be home alone. But something was wrong with her. After she told me what happened with the Princess, I thought she was just upset, but that wasn't it. She was all–" Spike mimed twitching and stress, his shoulders shuddering and his head darting all around "–weird and edgy. Not like herself at all. She started bringing all of her animals inside the cottage, and she kept raving about how the Princess was angry and how she had to keep them safe."
Twilight's brow furrowed in concern. "She was afraid of…Celestia?"
"Terrified! That's why I'm out here! I said if she was so worried, I could send a letter to the Princess so she could apologize. That's when she panicked, called me a spy, and chained me up out here." He reached into the den, and pulled out a water dish and a clay bowl of glittering stones. "I've been living on gems and water!"
Twilight raised an eyebrow. "Spike…you always live on gems and water."
"Yeah, but these are semiprecious! Moss agate, garnet – even quartz!" Spike rattled the bowl of uncut stone for emphasis and stuck out his tongue in disgust.
"You poor thing," said Twilight, her mild amusement at war with her concern for her friend and her assistant. "Dash? I think we'd better both go have a talk with Fluttershy." Rainbow Dash nodded sternly.
As the two Ponies trotted down the path to Fluttershy's door, Applejack turned away in silence while Rarity sat magicking daisies into a chain and Pinkie Pie experimentally swallowed a smooth rose quartz pebble from Spike's bowl.
Twilight knocked on Fluttershy's door with a front hoof; the only answer was a chorus of birdcalls. When a second knock produced much the same result, Twilight ignited her horn and magicked the lock open. She gently pulled open the door.
The interior of the cottage was packed from floor to ceiling with birdhouses, kennels, cages and boxes, all crowded with Fluttershy's animal friends. Dozens of tiny eyes shone in the shadows. Rainbow Dash and Twilight Sparkle trotted into the cramped front hall single file, the sunlight from the open door casting one long, blended shadow ahead of them.
As the tall, horned, winged shadow reached the middle of the room, a piercing scream erupted from deeper inside the cottage:
"AAAAAALICOOOORN!!" A streak of pink and yellow slalomed between the columns of caged animals, and shot up the stairs. Despite Fluttershy's frantic speed, Twilight caught a glimpse of the Pegasus' speckled, distorted Cutie Mark.
"Oh no…!" Twilight gasped."Dash...did you see her Cutie Mark?"
"Sort of..." replied Dash. "It looked like she's got some sorta bugs on it. Maybe she got fleas from all these animals?"
Twilight shook her head gravely. "It's not fleas, Dash."
"What do you mean?"
"When Apple Bloom and her little friends kept pestering all of us about getting their Cutie Marks, it inspired me to do some reading on the subject. If I'm right, Fluttershy has a very serious condition: Cutie Mark Decay Disorder."
Rainbow Dash's brow furrowed in worry. "What does that mean?"
"It's an inherited condition where emotional stress starts to unravel a Pony's bond to their Cutie Mark. As the Mark loses its shape, the Pony loses their sense of self. They can become irritable, withdrawn, paranoid - even delusional or violent."
"Stress? Oh my gosh...did I make this happen to her?" Guilt twisted Dash's features.
"No...! No," said Twilight emphatically. "Something else triggered it - something earlier. I'm sure of it." Something like an Element of Harmony, she mentally added.
Twilight headed toward the stairs, weaving around the cages. She magicked up an unoccupied wooden bird perch as she went. "Follow me, Dash! What's important now is that we help her."
The pair followed the sounds of Fluttershy's panicked ranting into her darkened bedroom. From the glow of Twilight's horn, a quivering pale pink tail was visible sticking out from under the bed. As they drew closer the light revealed Fluttershy's hindquarters, and a clear view of the ragged butterflies on her flanks.
Twilight looked away, sadly. "This isn't good. It is CMDD."
"What do we do now?" asked Dash, her voice full of concern.
"She needs magical treatment immediately," said Twilight. Her horn glowed brighter, and the top quarter of the perch broke free; Twilight discarded the rest. "I need you to pull her out of there, and hold her down."
Dash gawked. "Wh-what? Why? What are you gonna do?"
Twilight squinted in concentration; a tiny crackling sphere of purple-white energy formed at the tip of her horn. "I'm going to shock her."
"Storm therapy? No…! NO WAY! That's for madponies! She doesn't need that – she's just a little anxious!" said Dash, waving her front hooves in an outward sweep. "It's too dangerous! Pegasi almost never survive it!"
"That's because you do it with clouds in midflight, and you usually fall. We're on the ground now – it's not the same!"
"I am NOT gonna help you zap her!" Dash interposed herself between Twilight and her fellow Pegasus.
Twilight met her friend's determined maroon stare head-on. "Dash…when you overdosed on that Nightshade, Fluttershy was willing to stomp on your ribs and fill your lungs like party balloons because I told her it would help keep you alive. She trusted me. I know you trust me, too. Please…help me do this."
Rainbow Dash closed her eyes and sighed, hanging her head. When she looked up, she gave a tiny nod.
"NOOOO! Dash, DON'T! It doesn't WORK! They tried it on my mother and she DIED!" Fluttershy screamed and cried in terror as Rainbow Dash dragged her out from under the bed by her tail and leaped on top of her, holding her down. "She's working for HER! She's trying to kill me, too!"
"Your mom...?" Rainbow Dash's grip slackened slightly. "You never told me..."
Fluttershy bucked and thrashed around, nearly escaping Dash's grip. Her distraction broken, Rainbow Dash fought to get her back under control. Fluttershy continued to scream. "I'm scared, Dash! Don't do this! I don't want to die! Let me go! Let m-MMNG!"
Twilight magicked the perch's cylindrical wooden top between Fluttershy's jaws like a bit. Unable to speak, she wordlessly sobbed around the wooden gag.
Dash turned to Twilight. "Twilight...are you sure?"
Twilight nodded firmly. "I'm sorry," she whispered. "If I don't, she'll only get worse." She bent her head to touch the tip of her crackling horn to Fluttershy's damaged Cutie Mark. With a bright flash and an electrical snap Fluttershy violently convulsed, surging to her hooves and nearly bucking Rainbow Dash off of her back. The wooden perch split. As her seizing muscles loosened, Fluttershy collapsed in a dead faint. Rainbow Dash stood up, and backed away.
Before the two other Ponies' eyes, purple-white motes of energy chased the swarming distortions on Fluttershy's flanks, consuming them in tiny flares before winking out themselves. As the last of the gnat-like specks vanished, her original butterfly Cutie Marks drew back into focus.
A few moments later, Fluttershy stirred. She half-opened her eyes, raised her head, and squinted to make out her friends in the dim light. She spat out the broken pieces of the perch. "R-rainbow Dash…? Twilight?" Her voice was even softer than usual. "W-what happened? What are you doing here? I…I don't remember, I…it's so dark!" She struggled to get to her hooves; Rainbow Dash rushed over to support her.
"Twilight's back from Canterlot, and she came to thank you for taking care of Spike and Owlowiscious for her while she was gone. Right, Twilight?" Dash shot Twilight a stern sidelong glance.
"Thanks for your help!" said Twilight, taking the hint. "And thanks for covering your windows and bringing in some friends to help make Owlowiscious feel welcome!"
"Oh…um, you're welcome…?" said Fluttershy tilting her head in confusion.
"I mean it," insisted Twilight. "Nopony asked you to do it, but you did your best in a difficult situation. I know it isn't easy being a caregiver – I have enough trouble keeping Spike, Owlowiscious and my books safe! But you did a wonderful job."
Fluttershy smiled weakly. "Thank you for saying so," she said.
"Twilight..." Dash shifted uncomfortably. "Could you go wait for us outside? I need to talk to Fluttershy. Alone."
Twilight nodded silently, and trotted out of the room.
"Shy, I knw you've been through a lot lately, but...I just wanna say...I mean you deserve to know, I..." Dash paced nervously, at a loss for how to continue.
"...You don't love me," Fluttershy whispered.
"Yes!" Dash caught herself. "No...! I mean, you mean a lot to me, and I owe you everything. But..." she sagged. "But I don't love you. I wanted to, and after those berries and that magic of Twilight's, I thought I did, but..." Dash sank lower, her front hooves splaying. Her nose nearly touched the floor. "I'm sorry..."
Fluttershy trotted over and rested her head against Dash's shoulder. "I know. Maybe part of me knew from the beginning. But it just seemed so real...I couldn't admit it to myself. I wanted you to love me so badly. I'm sorry, too." She quietly wept into Rainbow Dash's multi-coloured mane.
Dash raised up her head and pulled Fluttershy into a hug. "Someday you'll find a filly to love you back," she said, fighting to keep her voice from cracking, "and they're gonna treat you right - or they'll hafta answer to me!"
Fluttershy laughed a small, teary laugh. The two held one another in silence for a long moment, and then went to go join the others.
As Dash led her down the stairs, Fluttershy's restored Cutie Marks were as bright and vivid as the butterflies that had once saved her life.
The High Ritesmare, loved everywhere,
Kindly helps her flock to grow.
But without them soon sinks to despair;
Alone she withers – a flower in snow.
•·•·•·•·•·•·•·•·•·•
Twilight turned in a slow circle, surveying the interior of her library.
Inspired by a resurgent desire to party matching her urge to do so, Pinkie Pie had decorated the building in a matter of minutes. She and Applejack had provided food and Rarity had fetched a record player. Fluttershy and Rainbow Dash had gathered a small bucket of raw rainbows, and painted the ceiling in garish colours. All things considered, the Ponies had assembled a party welcoming Twilight home in record time.
In one corner, Rarity and Pinkie Pie were locked in a pitched cake-eating contest; the Unicorn's progress was severely handicapped by her insistence on using silverware and taking small, dainty mouthfuls. Nevertheless, she seemed to have a surprisingly large appetite.
In the middle of the room Spike danced to the music, wearing his customary lampshade hat. Rainbow Dash danced along, turning aerial somersaults over the tiny Dragon.
In another corner, Applejack and Fluttershy stood near the punchbowl. They seemed to be chatting, but Twilight couldn't make out what they were saying over the music.
"She's real...graceful...ain't she?" mused Applejack, her eyes following Dash's musical acrobatics.
Fluttershy nodded. She sighed wistfully.
"...She broke it off, huh?"
Fluttershy's lower lip quivered. She nodded again.
"Shewt, I'm sorry, 'Shy. ...Fer what it's worth, ya did make a nice lookin' pair."
Fluttershy turned slightly, letting her mane partially hide her face. "Thanks."
Applejack cleared her throat. "Listen...I know we've both done some mighty regrettable things these past couple o' days, and well, fer my part, I wantcha to know I'm sorry. Sometimes bein' in love can make a Pony do some foalish things." Her eyes still followed Dash's dance.
Fluttershy's face emerged from behind her mane. "Applejack...you...?"
Applejack nodded. "Since I first laid eyes on 'er. Though I s'pose you got me beat in that respect, bein' from Cloudsdale an' all."
Realization spread across Fluttershy's face. "She didn't tell me about the fight..."
"Uh-huh. If she'd explained the whole sorry business, she woulda had to tell ya how I felt, and she'd promised not to. Loyal to a fault, that Pony."
Fluttershy and Applejack watched Dash in silence for a time. They both sighed at once.
Inspiration brightened Applejack's features. She turned and rummaged in a nearby saddlebag. She brought out a small metal flask, and poured a tiny splash of amber liquid into two punch glasses. The heady, medicinal scent of thoroughly-distilled apples filled the air around them.
"T'ain't right bein' down in the dumps durin' a party. Here...this stuff's worked pretty well fer me so far when thoughts o' that fine blue filly have gotten me down. To Rainbow Dash - Bottoms up!"
"T-to Rainbow Dash!"
Fluttershy picked up the glass in her front hooves and slugged back the shot in tandem with Applejack. After a moment of silent consideration, her eyes skewed in opposite directions, her face flushed, and she coughed violently.
"Woops!" Applejack chuckled, patting Fluttershy on the back. "Prolly shoulda warned ya - that stuff packs a mighty big kick! Big Mac says they oughta name it after me!"
"...It's...nice," Fluttershy wheezed.
Meanwhile, Twilight Sparkle magicked up a bottle and a goblet, and began pouring. "Everypony – I wanted to say something!" Twilight's friends paused in their merrymaking, and turned to face her. "I would like to propose a toast to all of you: the best friends I've ever had."
"Twilight…" Rarity swallowed a mouthful of cake and raised an importunate hoof.
Twilight set down the bottle. "Please, just let me finish. I know I spend a lot of time with my nose in books, but that doesn't mean I'm not interested in what else is happening – or in you."
"Twilight…" Applejack trotted forward.
Twilight magicked the filled goblet higher. "Just a second. You're all very important to me, and in the future I plan to pay you all a lot more attention. There's only so much time, after all, and I want to spend as much of it as I can with the Ponies who mean the most to me. Cheers!" As Twilight finished her toast, her six-star Cutie Marks, for lack of a better word, sparkled.
"TWILIGHT!" Pinkie Pie popped up next to Twilight like a frosting-daubed colt-in-the-box.
"For Celestia's sake, WHAT?" asked Twilight. She took a large gulp from the goblet.
Pinkie Pie grinned broadly. "That's hot sauce again."
•·•·•·•·•·•·•·•·•·•
Back in Canterlot, Princess Celestia watched her faithful student frantically drinking from the library's kitchen sink in the glowing reflections of a flickering curtain of magical sunlight. She smiled a small, dignified smile, and magicked the last of the tarot cards back into the deck.
The Enchantress, though she'll live forever,
Finds loneliness hard to defeat.
Magic can hold one's life together…
But friendship makes it all complete.
THE END
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Hasbro... Please....... Oh dear Celestia in Canterlot, PLEASE MAKE AN EPISODE, FULLY ANIMATED AND VOICED, OF THIS FANFIC. Probably wouldn't be a good idea to air it on the Hub, but maybe for Equestria Daily, or FIMFiction?
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I would if I could!
But alas, my special talent is for writing, not animating!
...Of course, anypony with a more appropriate Cutie Mark is certainly welcome to adapt these stories into any medium - provided I am suitably acknowledged.
I know I'd LOVE to see some of the more gripping scenes rendered even as comics or fanart.
I want to print this entire series out and read it to myself at night...
AN EPISODE?! THIS SHOULD BE THE ENTIRE SECOND SEASON!!
INCREDIBLE! People like you inspire me.
First off, I'd like to say that this is by far my favorite fanfic, ever.
Secondly I'd like to say that I really could have done without " "Oh no! So she did punish you! I knew it! Did you get burned? Beaten? Battered? Baked? Sliced? Diced? Sliced twice? Covered in mice? Given lice? Sliced thrice? Over-spiced? Put on ice?" Pinkie's hooves clapped to her cheeks in horror"
/Sorry, I re-read "Cupcakes" this morning
I am, of course, going to read the remaining chapters. But since this is the culmination of the main story, I find it fitting to express my opinion thus far in full.
*************************** SPOILERS AHEAD ***************************
To be quite honest, it took many chapters to fully get into this. The contrast of darkness with the usual lightheartedness of the show was quite off-putting to me at first. I frequently found myself cringing, facepalming, and yes, even occasionally having to urge to get up out of my chair and bang my head against a nearby wall (typically during the Pinkie Pie scenes)
The part about Fluttershy was one of the most disturbing things I've ever read in the pony fanfic. And this is inclusive of Cupcakes and a multitude of equally-disturbing clopfics. For a time, I felt this was simply unnecessary, and downright overdramatic, particularly within the context of the original show storyline.
As the chapters rolled by, I found the situations getting much lighter and easier to accept. Applejack's part was immensely entertaining, and much more lighthearted than any of the other character's dilemmas at that point. I still felt Rarity hit a bit too much of a serious note and put me off a bit, but I was still able to keep reading mostly due to the lack of mental instability that the initial chapters were saturated in.
Then, at last, I got to Princess Celestia. This chapter really is needed in order for the story to work, and indeed, it showed an immense degree of planning that I admire in any great work. The ludicrous psychological disorders, traumas, and the like were all superbly and satisfyingly explained, and the twist with Celestia's "order" was one of the best twists I've read in a fanfic, rivaling many I've read in published literature. In fact, it's because of the twists in chapter 6 that I like this story as much as I do, and I'd even go so far as to say that chapter 6 IS the story! Every other chapter is just a simple compliment or resolution. And as the author, I'm positive you felt the same way.
I have little else to add, except that I felt Fluttershy's disorder was a bit too dark. It was certainly interesting, but I felt it didn't quite fit the other's problems quite as well. Pinkie Pie drawing blood was also quite dark, but nothing was quite as disturbing as Fluttershy's childhood trauma at having a schizophrenic parent.
I almost wish you had done more with Fluttershy's "Kindness". You let her "condition" run away from her and, if anything, counter her Element! Which would be fine, except that every other character had the exact opposite problem, and it really made Fluttershy the weakest of the characters. Particularly when you added the extraneous relationship and feud with one of her friends. This, combined with Fluttershy being the final character to receive a remedy, caused a bit of a "crack in the arch, near the keystone", to use your analogy.
Now, I understand what you were trying to do with Fluttershy. Your goal was to explain the sudden outburst and anger at the Gala! As well as explain her extreme timidness (among other things, like her fear of dragons, her closeness to the rabbit Angel, etc...). However, at a point, most of us were already satisfied by simple the explanation provided by the show, which inferred that ponies (like humans) start to lose their mind when separated from the activities and nature to which they relate to the most. And ponies even more so than humans, as ponies cannot acquire a second cutie mark. (The dragon part was pretty clever, though. I give you Kudos for that)
As for the writing itself...
You have a superior diction, and you're not afraid to use it. I say superior, but not necessarily powerful. The prose is nothing special, and the addition of precocious vocabulary didn't contribute much to the story, except for making certain passages sound a bit over-inflated. For example, there was no real need to use the medically accurate terminology for Rainbow Dash's wing muscle. Hardly any brony will look at that and think I know that muscle! That's what lift's the wing of a bird! At a point, it did nothing but distract from the passage, and made it almost look like you put the word in just because you could. (I'm not saying you did. I'm just saying that's how some people may interpret it.)
That's not the say I'm against choosing the right word. In fact, it can make or break good writing! And, in addition, I'm not saying the other aspects of your writing were of poor quality. Indeed, they were well constructed. However, I felt that some of the word choices were a bit too high-caliber for this particular type of story. They didn't match the writing style at times. This is really an extreme subtlety, but I took notice of it and was distracted at times throughout reading it, even when I did know the word.
Now, all negative comments put aside, you have some amazing talents as well. For example, your ability for inventing new terms, as well as your proficiency with poetic form. This expertise deserves recognition, whether it came naturally or from years of practice. I myself lack such talents, and can thoroughly appreciate them when I see them. You should feel quite accomplished as a writer for having the talents you do for descriptive narrative, poetic form, and prose. Few amateur writers ever reach that level, and indeed this is one of the first stories I have read where all these elements are wielded and exercised so valiantly!
So, in the end, I certainly enjoyed the story. You have shown a passion for the characters that goes beyond enjoyment of a simple cartoon. After seeing how you manipulated the marionette of characters in this story, I find myself curious as to your other writing endeavors, even outside of the world of ponies. It seems that, being free of the confines of the children's cartoon, you could have the potential to write and even publish some great literature. And who knows! Maybe you have...
I started into this with great doubt. If you have been following my other comments thus far, it's pretty clear what I thought this was going to be. And you have, in a single stroke, utterly slaughtered that doubt with a profound twist, tightly knitted plot, and logical explanation so powerfully contained, it's no wonder this story has been recognized as one of the great fan fictions existing today.
I applaud you for your work and implore you to write more! I look forward to reading the remaining chapters, I will be coming back with my opinions of them shortly.
Basically, I loved it and I cannot keep thinking about the very last line (not THE END). It still brings me to tears thinking about what Twilight will have to go through, and this is only a Fan-fiction! lol... Anyhow, the person above me, Ganymede basically covered most of the things I was going to say about the story and about your skill with the English language. I loved all the little unnecessary things that you put in there that only intellectuals would see. I am not being sarcastic at all, what you did with the scene when Celestia speaks Russian, I loved that; And when you used Rarity's sign, changing the meaning of it when it was cut, was just fabulous. I will now read the other chapters, and hope you used those kind of things in there as well. ^.^ Also, your use of poetry is amazing . Thank you so much for contributing this to the world.
You sir, do a great job at writing. I would do an extra long response like some of the above, but I am not as dedicated, lol. This story was really well written, and at the end, when it says "Friendship Makes it all Complete" I can imagine the My little pony: friendship is magic theme song fading in from,"And magic makes it all complete!" As the screen fades to black and THE END Appears, like a movie. So keep up the good work! I look forward to reading the next chapters!
it was so beautiful. it brought a tear to my eye. :)
While the story is overall very good, the ideal you came up with the EoH comes off as something you came up with last second, in fact it harms the story because it doesn't make any sence at all.
Like Fluttershy's illness comes form her mother, Twi even says that, but last chapter you claim it really comes form the element of Kindness. The same goes with the rest,
Applejack:Tourette's syndrome. (the same one Cartman had in South Park, granted while most of it was well-researched that might have been made up)
Rainbow Dash: just overworked really
Pinkie: Depression
Rarity: fear of being hated by others
What it should have been was just something Luna made up to hurt Twilight.
you are just amazing thank you for writing this and if I knew how to make cartoons i would make this story in to one thank you again for writing it.
I just love, how this got written, before the first episode of s2 aired. but i love it even more, how this is about 2000000000% cooler than the actual show.
send it to EQD
If this was animated I would watch this. You are good at writing. I hope you're an author for real so you make money off of this talent.
Wow. Just...wow. This story is so fantastic, I could cry.
The writing, the character interactions, the darkness, it's all just amazing.
MASSIVE kudos to you!
IT's a good story no doubt about that. I just wished you stayed with the Flutterdash though.
no words can discribe the emotion i felt with this fanfic... you are a god among men my good sir bravo BRAVO
Such a brilliantly conceived story, and so well written. Your writing skills are a thing to be revered, and for that I have this to say: Bravo, Sir! Bravo!
Well why the buck not. Call the drink applejack Daniels XD
Unbelievable. Chills to the max. Misty eyes. Shocked and awed. I would write a lengthy, praising review, but I see that's already been done. The best I can say under this amount of emotion is truly great work and thank you.
You're one clever pony.
This has been good so far, i love it, i love it a lot.
"Big Mac says they oughta name it after me!"
LOL, alcohol reference.
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Well, time to never enjoy any other fanfiction I read...
(Too well done, sir. )
and you wrote a song
WHY CAN'T I FAV HARDER????????????
I hoping Fluttershy would be prescribed anti-psychotics for the sake of not using that trope.
It wouldn't bug me so much, but if Fluttershy's schizophrenia (or whatever) was instantly solved using magic why couldn't the same be done for her mom?
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Presumably because Twilight is wizard who rivals Princess Celestia in power and skill.
But it still feels wrong to me because that application doesn't match up to real life! Why do you think shock therapy has fallen out of practice? It doesn't bucking work! It just bucks you up! It would be so much more satisfying, inspiring, and consistent to pull Fluttershy out of the throes of the battle within her mind with the power of kind, but clever and precisely placed words.
Also...
"Storm therapy? No…! NO WAY! That's for madponies! She doesn't need that – she's just a little anxious!" said Dash, waving her front hooves in an outward sweep. "It's too dangerous! Pegasi almost never survive it!"
"That's because you do it with clouds in midflight, and you usually fall. We're on the ground now – it's not the same!"
What are they/you trying to say here? That pegasi use medical shock therapy without tying the patient down? And they couldn't figure out why they kept dying?!?
Any-who, my problem with this, as I predicted, was the same I had with chapter three of Smiling Flowers. Each problem is solved quickly, in a factory assembly line order, with only small portions devoted to each solution. It was an even greater stumbling block for this story though. Sanity and lives were at stake, and the story behind all their problems was so organic and intertwined, culminating in a massive shitstorm of despair. I get that those passages go with the tarot card theme, and ties into the whole "destiny" theme, but the finality of posting them just lends more to the idea that everything is going to be all right, and the problem is definately solved.
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I totally disagree with the beginning of this. The self-destruction exhibited by the Main Six (er, Five) was so engrossing, I couldn't help but move forward. Seriously, 1 in the morning, I should be taking notes for college class; but I can't! can only assume that people are frightened by the amount of psychosis you've succesfully installed in your story, and that they don't want to show approval lest they come to associate such pain with their favourite fantasy. And unfortunately, you really do make it seem like this level if pain can exist in My Little Pony. But impacting the reader should never be faulted.
As for the part about Fluttershy's condition, I think I see what you may have been going for. By having Fluttershy inherit it from her genes, it seems for terrifying because we know how dangerous it can make someone, how terrifying and depressing it will be to behold, and how difficult it will be to overcome.
Oh wait, nevermind, a wizard solved it.
So, Good!
Finally! After spending a frankly horrendous amount of time in my 'to read' pile, I have finally gotten the opportunity to start reading this! And oh boy, we have something quite special here.
You know, there are stories in this fandom that I attribute as being prime examples of certain literary techniques. For example, anything by SleeplessBrony for characterisation, Don't Let the Sun Catch You Crying for exceptional use of description, or Composure for symbolism and metaphor. I think this one might be my example for plot structure. The chapters so far read like scenes from a movie, which is something that is incredibly hard to pull off when writing, yet somehow you have managed to do it incredibly well here. The plot is fast moving, multi-layered and each arc is heavily interwoven with the others, yet they never become confusing or muddled, and are all brought back together very well indeed.
Needless to say, I am enjoying this immensely. I am looking forward to checking out the rest of the story as soon as possible!
I am going to read the rest, but since the main six's stories are over, I can finally comment.
This story was really well thought out but the only thing that ruined it for me, and a few others, was the unnecessary shipping.
Personally, I'm not a fan of shipping. I'll let it slide if it's between 2 OC's, cause their there for flexibility, but shipping the cannon characters is too much unless it's purely a comedy fic.
I understand why you did it, and you did get rid of it by the end like i was hoping. The problem was that you left it in the psyche of the characters, and that messes up the story for the whole between seasons thing in you were going for. There's no way the cartoon would ever have something like this, and since season 2 is "supposedly" after this ordeal, this homosexual characteristic you've given Applejack and Fluttershy just doesn't fit with the actual cartoon.
The only reason why I'm even commenting is because this story was great, and these were things that bugged me.
I still give it 5/5 so far. javascript:smilie('');javascript:smilie('');javascript:smilie('');javascript:smilie('');javascript:smilie('');
If you would have made the lesbian/shipping themes of this story be part of their discorded personalities as an affect of the elements of harmony and had gotten rid of them completely at the end, I would have considered this the most clever Fimfiction I have read thus far with a score of infinity/5.
Keep up the good work!
Many manly tears were shed that day. My friend, your fic is a Masterpiece.
I regret all the time this story spent on my queue
It has everything a fantastic story needs
complex, dark, engrossing- like a fine scotch or summer thunderstorm
looking forward to reading the sequel and your other stories
cheers
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Beautifully written, good sir!
That... that... pff...grr...blagh! THAT'S IT! YOU WIN THE BUCKING INTERNET. game over. you win. the end.
That... I... I have no words. best fanfic ever written about anything ever.
I thought that either secret life of rarity or tiny wings was my favourite fanfic ever but nope. no this is it.
you win all the internet.
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This was some brilliantly written stuff, good sir
I'm looking forward to the rest of the story, now!
I really don't like this chapter nearly as much as everyone else seems to. I like the previous chapters, what with the personal and mental issues... and even if season 2 and not wanting to believe that Luna was a legitimately bad pony and the Elements reworked her mind makes me disapproving of the given characterisation of Luna, I can accept that she's being a bit petty and frustrated thanks to fears of being superfluous in a world she knows nothing of.
But this... Elements of Harmony being the sole cause of their issues, despite mostly being pre-existing conditions to one degree or another; 100% accurate magical mind reading - with Tarot Cards giving descriptions; Twilight, former social recluse in the midst of studying friendship, accurately psychoanalysing her friends in regards to long-seated mental conditions that she didn't know anything about, and curing them with a couple paragraphs; and ultimately, a single chapter perfect solution to everything. My problem: too much magic, not nearly enough friendship and counselling.
Wait... WHAT?!?!?!?!?!? Twilight... how do you?!?!?!
Congratz. You have stupified me at every turn.
WHY RAINBOW DASH?????!!!!! WHY YOU DUMP FLUTTERSHY???!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
thats hot sauce again priceless
This should be season 6, it's that good! Would love to see a thorough non rushed ending though, not complaining, still one of the best fics on here!
All these years later, still about as great a line as any story has ended on