"Is that really the train?" Asked Linkara, hoping that it was just some sort of prop for a movie or play.
"Why yes it is." Twilight answered as they approached the train.
It looked quite terrible for a train. Instead of it being black like most trains, it was a very humiliating pink. To make things worse, most of the cars attached to the train looked like freaking muffins.
"Please tell me this has some awesome name like 'Killtrain' or 'Bloody Onslaught!" Pleaded Joe.
"It does have an awesome name!" Replied Pinkie as she bounced over to the entrance of the train.
"Oh? What's the name?" asked The Nostalgia Critic, hoping that one of Joe's names was correct.
"It's called the 'Friendship Express!'" Answered Pinkie as she stepped into the train, with the five of her friends following suit.
"Fuck my life!" Yelled Joe in anger as he stomped into the train with the other two reviewers following him in.
The interior of the train was mainly ivory with some purple here and there with some windows adorning both sides of the walls with the option of closing them. There were also two doors on each car, three on this one if you included the entrance/exit for the train.
“Now what?” Asked Linkara as they reached the center of the car they were in.
“Well, since the train ride is a couple of hours, you could always sleep or read a book.” Answered Twilight.
The Nostalgia Critic shifted a yawn as he asked, “Where’s the sleeper car?”
“It should be near the caboose,” answered Rarity “Or at least it was there last time.”
“Thanks.” Said The Nostalgia Critic as he opened the door on the back of the car and made his way down.
“Is there some sort of diner car here?” asked Joe as he felt his stomach growl.
“Yes, it should be one in front of the sleeper-“ but before Twilight could finish, Joe was gone as was Pinkie, leaving behind only a cloud of smoke.
Linkara just shrugged and asked “Mind if I read with you? I’m not very tired or hungry, so why not read?”
Twilight’s eyes beamed as she replied “Sure! I brought a few books, so feel free to read them.”
“Thanks.” Said Linkara as he looked through the selection that Twilight had brought with her. The selection was odd to say the least, as Linkara hadn’t even seen these before!
This is an alternate reality remember? He said to himself as he picked up the first book and read the title.
“Daring Doo and The Magic Complex?” He wondered out loud.
“Oh! That’s the one I’m on!” answered Rainbow Dash as she swiped the book from Linkara’s hands and began to read it.
Twilight giggled as she explained, “Oh, Daring Doo is a long running adventure series in this reality. You might want to start on the first one.” Twilight then proceeded to levitate a book towards Linkara as he caught it in his hands and read the title out loud.
“Daring Doo and The Sapphire Stone? I guess I could give it a shot.” Said Linkara as he opened the book and began to read the first page.
As Joe and Pinkie Pie slammed the door to the diner car open, they began to look at their surroundings.
Food. All around them was mouth watering, heart pounding, and taste tenderizing food! The waiters aboard the car were serving ponies at the tables with desserts of amazing caliber like cakes and pies. The duo looked at each other and then ran to the closest table and had a seat as a waiter approached them.
“May I take your orders?” asked the waiter in what seemed to be a French accent.
Joe looked at the waiter and continued to flip through his menu before answering, "Yes, I'll have the sundae."
"I'll have a slice of grape pie please." Answered Pinkie.
The waiter picked up the menus and placed them on a cart as he said "Your food will be ready shortly."
Once the waiter left, it was a endurance match for the duo as they looked on to the other tables, seeing them enjoying their food with faces of satisfaction.
“Pinkie?” asked Joe.
“Yeah?” asked Pinkie.
“How long has it been since the waiter left?”
“About one minute.”
“DAMMIT!” Joe yelled, slamming a fist on the table “That pony has been gone too long!”
“Don't worry Joe,” reassured Pinkie as she patted a hoof on Joe's back, “We'll get our food soon.”
A tear started to fall from one of her eyes as she said, “I hope.”
The Nostalgia Critic opened the door to the sleeper car and stepped inside. All along the walls of the car were bunk beds, but it was just him inside the car.
“Strange,” he mused to himself as he walked over to one of the beds and lied down on it “How come there's only ponies inside of the diner car?”
He chuckled to himself as he closed his eyes “Probably just time for desserts I guess.”
A door opening in the diner car caused Pinkie and Joe to jerk their heads towards the door, as a waiter stepped out rolling a cart towards the two.
“Thank god! It's been a long and tiring five minutes!” exclaimed Joe.
“So sorry, the pie had to be warmed up and the sundae had to be made.” Explained the waiter as he put the two dishes near their respected owners.
Joe grabbed the spoon nearest to him and began to dig in to the long awaited sundae. Each bite sent shivers down his spine and made his mouth beg for more. Pinkie grabbed the fork next to her (though Joe wasn't even sure how. Magnets maybe?) and began to eat the pie... by grabbing the slice and forcing it down her throat. Joe was stunned by this. How the hell could a pink pony do that? Joe quickly grabbed another spoonful and began to continue his relentless assault on the ice cream.
She made a belching sound as Joe finished up his sundae, it giving him brain freeze.
“Excuse me sir?” asked the waiter as he placed a piece of paper on the table “Your bill.”
Joe chuckled as he picked up the piece of paper “Let's see how much we owe. Probably just a hug or someth-” what Joe didn't expect on the bill was actual currency.
“Pinkie?” asked Joe.
“Yes, Joe?” asked Pinkie.
“Do you have any money on you?”
“Not at the moment no,” she answered looking at Joe, “Why?”
“Neither do I,” said Joe “And we have a bill to pay for.”
“What do we do?” asked Pinkie.
“I'll tell you what we'll do,” answered Joe as he stood up and turned around, “RUN!”
The two ran out as fast as they could with the waiter behind them saying “Sir! Madame! Hold on!”
Once they reached the entrance to the train, they saw Twilight, Linkara, Rarity, Applejack, and Fluttershy reading. Twilight was reading “Through the eyes of the bearded” by Starswirl the Bearded. Applejack was reading “Apple-bucking Magazine.” Rarity was reading some sort of fashion magazine, and Fluttershy was reading “Tree news.”
“Look you guys we need your he-” began Joe, but then saw what everybody else was doing “Why the fuck are you guys reading?”
“Because we're bored and there's nothing to do.” Answered Linkara as he closed his book standing up “Now, what were you saying?”
“We were wondering if any of you guys have any money on you.” Answered Joe.
“Yes, I do. Why?” asked Rarity as she levitated out three gold piece things, but were quickly snatched by Pinkie as she threw them to the waiter, who caught them in his shirt pocket and started to trot back to the diner car.
"Okay, what are those gold coins?" asked Joe.
"They're called bits," explained Twilight "They're our currency in Equestria."
“Anyway, do you guys want to head to sleeper car to catch some z's?” asked Joe.
“Sure why not.” Said Linkara as he yawned.
The group closed what they were reading and followed Pinkie and Joe towards the sleeper car all the while avoiding the waiter's gaze.
The door to the sleeper car opened as the eight comrades stepped forward.
"There's enough beds for us with an extra," examined Linkara as he made his way towards a bed and laid down on it.
The six ponies made their ways to the beds in the far end of the car and laid down on them and quickly fell asleep. Joe, on the other hand, jumped on the bed nearest to him, but as soon as he hit the bed, he fell to the ground.
"Who did that?" asked the figure as he stood up revealing it to be The Nostalgia Critic.
"Critic? What are you doing here?" asked Joe as he stood back on his feet going to the bed atop of The Nostalgia Critic's.
"I said I was going over here when we were at the entrance." Answered The Nostalgia Critic.
"Oh forgot about that."
Once Joe settled in his bed, the two soon closed their eyes and fell asleep, only the clacking of the train making noise.
Everybody in the car was asleep, except for Linkara. He just stared at the bottom of the bed he was under. He turned his head to view one of the windows, seeing a beautiful sunset.
Might as well go for some fresh air. He thought to himself as he got out of his bed and made his way to the door at the end of the car and sliding it open.
He closed the door behind him as he looked onward from the rails of the train. Expansive greenery was passing it, and top it off, the beautiful sunset was going down, turning the sky into a beautiful shade of pink.
Linkara then heard the door behind him open as he jerked his head forward, spotting Twilight enter the small space, closing the door and trotting towards Linkara.
“Couldn't sleep huh?” asked Linkara.
“Yeah,” answered Twilight before asking, “Do you mind if I stand here next to you?”
“Go ahead.” Answered Linkara.
The two stood in silence as they saw the moon rise, along with millions of stars.
“Say Twilight?” asked Linkara.
“Yea?” asked Twilight.
“Do you mind telling me what the princesses are like, so we can try not to piss them off?”
“Well, they're both great rulers,” started Twilight “For instance, Princess Celestia is primarily the one to deal with problems in the kingdom while Princess Luna is the diplomatic one, going to far off countries to make peace with them.”
Linkara nodded, then he motioned for Twilight to continue.
"They also do the most amazing feats of magic like Celestia lowering and raising the sun, while Luna maintains the moon and stars."
"Wait, they control the sun and moon?" asked Linkara, going over what Twilight just said in his head making sure he heard that right and that his brain wasn't messing with him.
“Yes they do. Did your reality have rulers that rose and lowered the sun and moon?” asked Twilight.
“Well, we have rulers, but none of that sun and moon controlling stuff.” Answered Linkara
“Then how does the sun and moon rise and lower?”
“By a couple of things,” stated Linkara, “Like the Earth revolving around the sun and the moon revolving around the Earth due to natural causes like gravity.”
“By the sound of it, your Earth's pretty strange.” Said Twilight.
“Likewise.” Chuckled Linkara.
“Looks like it's getting late,” observed Twilight as she saw the moon, now in it's spot in the sky along with the twinkling of stars, “Shall we go in and call it a night?”
Linkara nodded as he opened the door and allowed Twilight to move in front of him and walk in as he moved after her and closed the door. The two then found their respected beds and laid down on them, slowly but surely falling asleep.
THIS...IS...FABULOUS!!!
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Very nice. lol. Joe and pinkie in the dining car was hilarious...(my own thought of a line for the scene.)After they finished eating pinkie looks at the empty plate. "....I miss my pie."
696053>>696056 Thank you kind sirs.
Niiiiiiiiice chapter.
I didn't have high hopes for this at the beginning, but it's turning out pretty well. Keep up the good work.
Also,
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696292 Oh they will.. I think
696362>>696752 Thank you!
great chapter, loved the social interaction that's happening. Keep goin and stay golden^^
697682 Thanks!
Hello I'm the Fanfic Critic, I criticize it so you don't have to.
Where do I start with this one? It has three of the internet's best reviewers in Equestria. Aside from some minor grammar and spelling issues, my only major complaint is the complete lack of Spoony. Your critic demands it, ArcadeLords. Give me Spoony or give me death.
698579 Soon my friend soon.
Do you mind pointing out the spelling and grammar errors, or is it too minor that it doesn't really matter?
698589
If dialogue is broken, use a comma.
"I've got a bone to pick with you," said Bonesy the Boner, "And it involves SEX!"
Thoughts should be in both italics and quotes.
'This was the opposite of a good idea,' thought Michael Moore, as the rare Global Warming Dragon prepared to greenhouse all of his gasses into a handy travel size.
If a spoken sentence ends unbroken, you don't need to use a period.
"David Tennant is best Doctor," said Mitt Romney.
Instead of
"You can't possibly compare American politics to Doctor Who." Said Rick Santorum.
how do I describe this fic?
I will let chester a bum do it for me:
"OH MY GOD THIS IS THE GREAT MLP FIM XOVER FANFIC I HAVE EVER READ IN MY ENTIRE LIFE!"
also I was kinda expecting the Channel awesome 3 to make more pop culture jokes
and if somehow they haev to face a villain here is ideas for dialogue:
Linkara: I'm warning you......I have a magic gun and a spaceship!
NC: surrender Discord or else I will force you to watch Felix the Cat movie, every episode of Full House, the Garbage Pail Kids movie and the Star Wars Christmas special all in a role!
Will Linkara review Daring doo?
709133 Probably. Either Daring Doo, or Mysterious Mare-Doo Well.
I have to say, you seem to have gotten the characters down well, Linkara in particular. Aside from a few minute nutpicks I can say all in all this was awesome.
. /
i40.tinypic.com/bjbmvs.png Good day, Arcade Lord. Stalin here, bringing another installation of Stalinview!
i40.tinypic.com/bjbmvs.png At first, let me congratule with first sucessful fic
i40.tinypic.com/30rwjmo.png Yeah. Fics ya had was
i40.tinypic.com/bjbmvs.png Shaddap. They were fine.
i40.tinypic.com/30rwjmo.png Yea, yea.
i40.tinypic.com/bjbmvs.png You dont like them?
i40.tinypic.com/30rwjmo.png Honestly, i dont care.
i39.tinypic.com/35bxab6.png How could you?! This halo crossover was fancinating!
i40.tinypic.com/30rwjmo.png For you, maybe
i43.tinypic.com/14ux72x.png Quiet, both of you.
i40.tinypic.com/bjbmvs.png Again, i congratulate you with first really sucessful story that made into featured some time ago! Keep the good work.
i40.tinypic.com/bjbmvs.png As for us, let's dig into "The Nostalgia Critic, Linkara, and Angry Joe Power Hour!"
---------------------------
i40.tinypic.com/bjbmvs.png First thing to mention, you might want to indent your story for it to look more eyecandy. To do it, press "indent" button during editing. It's on right.
i40.tinypic.com/30rwjmo.png Ya know, boss, you havent indented your stories yourself before Crushric told you. That looked stupi..
i43.tinypic.com/14ux72x.png Shut up. That's why i telling this guy to indent. Autor need to learn at other's mistakes.
"A man who wears a purdy hat, and bought a magic gun!"
i39.tinypic.com/35bxab6.png He has a magic gun?!
i40.tinypic.com/30rwjmo.png Where's he purchuase that?
i49.tinypic.com/27xntyg.png
"Nostalgia Critic? Why the hell are you calling at three in the morning!?!"
i40.tinypic.com/30rwjmo.png ?!?!?!??!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!??!?!??!??!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!?
i40.tinypic.com/30rwjmo.png Like it? Then don't do that. Heh-heh-heh.
"Fuck no!"
i40.tinypic.com/bjbmvs.png Usually, we would see foul language in fics as cons, but here it is necessary. Thanks Celestia you hasnt brought AVGN here.
",,,Really?"
i40.tinypic.com/bjbmvs.png Why three commas?
i40.tinypic.com/bjbmvs.png Hmmm. We have something to say in overview. Just wait for it
"and a giant, purple unicorn."
i40.tinypic.com/30rwjmo.png "Giant"? Are we giants to humans?
i40.tinypic.com/bjbmvs.png Hell no! We're ponies! Humans are much taller than us!
i40.tinypic.com/30rwjmo.png So why Twi described as a giant?
i40.tinypic.com/bjbmvs.png Beats me. Maybe they shrunk or something.
i39.tinypic.com/35bxab6.png Bears are taller than humans!
i40.tinypic.com/30rwjmo.png ...Slowpoke
i40.tinypic.com/30rwjmo.png By the way. Portal dive. Awakening in white room. Member of mare six to nurse. Remind of something?
i40.tinypic.com/bjbmvs.png Yep. It reminds me of countless HiE stories where exactly the same happened.
i39.tinypic.com/35bxab6.png ...Is it a good thing?
i43.tinypic.com/14ux72x.png Defenetely. not.
"“Wow, that is so cliché,” commented The Nostalgia Critic."
i40.tinypic.com/30rwjmo.png No, Critic. Cliched is attack or scream. To investigate is not a cliche.
i39.tinypic.com/35bxab6.png Oh, by the way. Linkara KNOWS my little pony. I don't remember in which episode exatly, but there was a scene where members of Avengers was watching mlp and agreed that this show is good.
i40.tinypic.com/bjbmvs.png Hmmm. Not much to say
i40.tinypic.com/30rwjmo.png Which is good, concidering that i am in bad mood today!
i40.tinypic.com/bjbmvs.png Just ignore her. Let's move to overview and finally give that fun little story a proper scoring.
OVERVIEW:
i40.tinypic.com/bjbmvs.png Okay, first, let's talk about problems.
i39.tinypic.com/35bxab6.png What problems? Everything was problem-er, less!
i40.tinypic.com/30rwjmo.png Your brain is cursed by optimism. Let our more critical mind to action.
i40.tinypic.com/bjbmvs.png Okay, first of: denting and pacing. I told about indent at the beginning, as for pacing... meh.
i40.tinypic.com/30rwjmo.png No proper descriptions. Most of the story is given via chain of dialogues. This would be fine with normal readers, but in that state story will never make it into EqD (well, i guess you not aiming for it anyway)
i40.tinypic.com/bjbmvs.png Second: most ponies has retained their personalities, BUT they are showing almost no goddamn surprise to see frigging bipedal creatures they never seen before. No offense here, but most other HiE and Crossover fics handling it much better. It's like for human to meet giant talking space flea from nowhere. Would you be surprised? I guess you will.
i40.tinypic.com/bjbmvs.png Third: at first, it's not very comfortable to read. Don't ask why. I guess it's personal
i40.tinypic.com/bjbmvs.png Now, the brighter side.
i39.tinypic.com/35bxab6.png NC, AJ and Linkara mostly retained their personalities, which is almost cruicial to that kind of stories. Their reactions are believable, although you, once again, could use some more details.
i40.tinypic.com/30rwjmo.png Whole idea of this crossover is kinda unique. I like unique crossovers, like "Old Spice guys in Equestria". Yes, they dumb as hell, but VERY enjoyable
i40.tinypic.com/bjbmvs.png This story is small and simple, but it's this kind of stories Fimfiction eed. People growing tired of uberepic uberheavy stories that will be finished after years of starting (like mine), and they need something light and enjoyable to rest in one cold evening.
i40.tinypic.com/bjbmvs.png Althou this story has flaws, i still enjoy it. Good job! Keep the good work.
Not a bad story the characters feel good and I liked the Sparkle touch you had in a previous chapter
716354 tl;dr
...Dear God. You just explained the extreme lack of Luna in the show. She's not even in the country!
first, hilarious, second,FUCK MY LIFE!!!!!!!!!!!
716354 The Nostalgia Critic also knows MLP. he had a skit in the Ghost Rider review. it had fluttershy\flutterbat
Linkara and Twilight Shipping