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The sound of dry dirt.

This the story of Carrot Hay and her various romantic adventures with different species.

But just because she's a bit of a xenophile, but that doesn't mean she can't find a lasting love beneath the Appleloosen skies. Right?

Chapters (1)

Comments ( 4 )

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QuietPonder

QuietPonder #1 · Feb 10th, 2015 · · ·

This... jumped around a lot. Concept-wise, it'd probably make more sense to focus on a single other species at a time (one a chapter). Because, as it is now, the jumping into a fantasy (memory?) about a griffon seemed too sudden. The change in style (bold vs italics) for different fantasies (again, maybe some are memories instead, not clear) did not help the flow at all.

The biggest problem, though, is nothing happened. The pie battle of Appleloosa happened. Carrot Hay participated a bit. Then the battle was over. In essence, this chapter was half 'what we saw in the episode,' half 'fantasies that did not go anywhere.' I'm not saying you can't make that work. Could've been a story of her youth and thinking on these things but being too scared to act. Would also have made sense as being a first chapter so it could lead into her growing and becoming more experimental and forward.

As this stands, this needs focus.

Fillyfooler

Fillyfooler #2 · Feb 10th, 2015 · · ·

5609600
It's all memories, as the Author's note mentiones

ShadowblazeCR

ShadowblazeCR #3 · Feb 10th, 2015 · · ·

That title annoys me.

null_name5656

null_name5656 #4 · Feb 10th, 2015 · · ·

When I was looking at the short description it seemed like her name is xenophile. A very unfortunate name to be born with to say the least. Carrot Hay is definately a better name for her.