Ultra Eternal Prodigal Furious Very Big Sonic Fearless Perpetual Heroic Epic Legendary

by Sir Ostentatious

Book 2: Part 1: Chapter 1: Episode 2: Triage of these Specters, Aggrandizement of the Self!!

I and a newly acquired figure trotted side by side on that lovely spring morning. The grassy lawn of the town, delicately spotted with lush maples and healthy oaks, epitomized the serenity of the excursion. The climate was ideal and the weather was clear; everything seemed at peace; nothing budged in the wake of the chilled morning breeze. To my surprise, though, an ominous cloud arose above a nearby tree, and a siren wailed. Closer and clearer, the siren screeched for attention as it haled beyond the cloistered greens. Perking our curiosity, I and my companion decided to inspect the siren’s call.

Protected by the bushes, we could see the tragedy: flames poked and prodded the façade of a set of buildings while firefighters prepared to tackle the situation. The building was almost hidden in a thick blockade of smoke; it was almost indistinguishable. It was a nasty sight to behold, yet my companion seemed to be more indifferent to the disaster.

“Such a terrible thing to happen to the library, huh?” I asked, breaking the heated silence.

The silhouette in black flatly began: “Yes, but I wouldn’t call it terrible, for I don’t believe in it.”

“What’s there to believe in? It’s a fire!”

“How do we know the fire is really there?” He countered.

“Because it’s hotter over there then it is over here?” I replied, dumbfounded by his denial.

“What a shame. You are so naïve. One cannot simply prove a truth based on characteristics! You have simply presented me an unproven conjecture, to which I can conclude nothing concretely!” My companion declared, each word of profundity leaving with an air of nobility.

“So how can you be convinced that that is really a fire?”

“I cannot. Our minds may just be telling us it’s a fire because we heard a siren. We may have heard a siren because we assume the day is too ideal to be without conflict. We may assume the day was too ideal to be without conflict because we expect conflict daily. Thus, I cannot be sure that what lies beyond me is really a fire.”

Enthralled by his use of such sound logic, the entire fire seemed to not exist, but I did not care anyway, because the fire did not exist. The climate was now heated and the weather was hazy. I wanted to know more of what did not exist, lest something that did not exist present itself and attempt to trick me into believing it existed, like the fire.

“If the truth cannot be proven, how can I know the truth cannot be proven if the truth that the truth not being proven cannot be proven?” I asked through fits of coughing.

“Obviously, your mind, propelled by the notion that truth cannot be proven, rejects the very driving force, yet that is only because you expect this faultless theory to have fault,” my companion said, raising a hoof into the sordid air.

I could smell the smoldering ashes gliding through the torridity as my enlightenment rose to a fever pitch. “So, what does exist?”

“As far as I am certain: nothing; our mind and body let us believe what they perceive, yet their perception may be skewed by our instincts or previous perceptions.” His philosophy seemed concrete in every way that I looked; my gaze remained fixed on this burning issue as I smelled the horrible flames around me.

I turned away from my companion and reflected on my own life; what if what I had for breakfast was a lie? What if my father was a lie? What if I was a lie? Sitting on the warm ground, my head rested in my hooves as I thought. The truth could not be proven, yet the truth not being able to be proven is true, even though I am not presented proof that the truth about the truth not being able to be proven is the truth. My mind is simply tricking me! It is just all in my mind. I laughed at the fire then coughed violently.

I could hear the shattering of glass behind me and the tumbling of debris. More sirens roared, unbending to the fire’s intimidation. The once healthy oaks and lush maples were ablaze and the breeze was polluted with ashes and smoke. I turned to my companion’s side, but he was gone; he was probably just in my imagination anyway. I could see hooves that did not exist under the veil of smoke that did not exist as torrents that did not exist vainly assaulted the fire that did not exist. There was no reason to help them, because “them” did not exist; the cause did not exist, thus the effect does not exist. Why do anything if nothing exists?

Meteors were heard as they collided and crashed with the undeserving earth, yet I paid them no heed. Uncomfortable with the nonexistent smoke choking my lungs, I opted to walk away, but the imaginary fire blocked my path. In my mind’s present state, the trees around me had turned into pyres and there was no visible route to escape. I could not believe how absurd my mind was functioning by allowing the fire to permeate my landscape. If nothing exists, why not turn the fire into cake?

I and my companion walked side by side in our beliefs, but not in physical being. My vision obscured and choking on smoke, I sat down and waited in the illogical inferno, hoping some imaginary firemen would save me from getting an imaginary burn.

Then it all went black. My lungs cleared and I could stand. My eyes darted in every direction of the abyss and saw nothing. From behind, a light enveloped me. Peels of piercing whistles and screeches exploded all around me and nearly burst my eardrums. Turning to meet the lights and sounds, a train thundered downs its tracks and collided violently with me.

***

Then it all went muted grays, but I assured myself it was only the house and not another dream sequence. With that realization and impact, I had forgotten what I was so furiously mulling over a few minutes ago. It seemed so distant now. Only righteous energy filled the void in my mind of the forgotten dream. Heaven’s flood gates were free from their chains and allowed fervor to flow through me like blood through a buffalo. My elation rocked the globe and drew from sleep the two adjacent mares.

“What time is it?” Scattershot asked, clenching her eyes from the rude awakening.

I looked outside: still overcast and no sign of whether or not it was night or day.

“What a concept! This world is our blank slate eternal and our cube to carve, and such frivolous trivialities plague thy mind?” I laughed, erecting myself before her. I looked to Bella who did not stir. I giggled and nudged her with a hoof. “You know this world better than us all and have drunk from its fountain, so join us! Don a smile the clouds cannot crush and derive a blessing from our curse!”

The brightness I saw in her yesterday had somehow melted away in her sleep. For a moment there was no answer, but words met ears. She swatted me away and turned over. “I’m not going with you. I thought about it long into the night, but I had a curious dream which helped me decide. Without my cutie mark, I have no purpose, so I think I’ll live here for a while.”

I shook my head and laughed at her silly sullenness. “Does it not make more sense to laugh than to lament? Laughter is day, and sobriety is night; a smile acts as the twilight that hovers gently between both, more bewitching than either! In the world there is comedy as well as tragedy, but confined by these four walls is nothing but gray.”

She did not move.

“All these answers to be found! What about the caper of your mark and time? Does it not interest you to find the source of this dark magic?”

She did not move.

My smile slowly faded. I was about to dismiss her sourness and press on, though Scattershot raised a hoof to my body. She whispered to me that she would work with Bella. With a shrug I left the two to go pack our belongings from the silo and ready our team for the trek ahead.

Snow had taken its leave and allowed the rocks and crags to flourish once more. Under the ceiling of rolling clouds I quickly packed the candles and the blankets into the satchel. Eyeing my adventure log, I figured I would catch up on it tonight. In this downtime I made myself presentable for the journey: Scattershot’s brush glided lovingly through my locks to shoo away the morning. Without a light source, the band around my horn and the pendant around my neck looked a little dull, but I knew of their nuclear show and they would shine soon enough. The sun caught in their metallic bodies knew no limitations of beauty. My admiration came to a halt when a mighty bolt of laughter shot through the sound waves and shook the silo’s walls.

Bag over my back, I checked the disturbance only to find Scattershot and Bella trotting out of the house, Bella in a fit of laughter.

“What have I missed?” I asked.

“Oh man, Osten! Scattershot knows the funniest jokes! At first I thought they were all corny and lame, but then something twitched in me, now I can’t stop laughing!” All the while giggles and bits of chortles escape with words and broke up her staccato sentence lyrically. In her panic of laughter, she whipped her head violently enough to dislodge her elderly bun. From its restrictions emerged a waterfall of a dazzling mane washing away the air of gloom she once possessed. The color returned to her again.

I just looked to Scattershot incredulously. She walked over to me and leaned in close. “Words can create action, though it depends on the tone and formation of the sentence.” With that she winked at me, and I could not help but smile. I laughed with Bella and Scattershot. Something ignited within me, like a flame.
“Trust me, Bellamina: if I like a pony’s laugh before I know anything of the pony, I may say with confidence that the pony is good.” All three of our manes flowed harmoniously in the wind. We were in good company.

***

A world’s army could not hold us back. Drawn to the horizon, we left the home in the silence of the frozen clocks. For a while we just walked, not knowing where we were going.

“Do you know of any towns around here, Bella?” Scattershot asked.

“Nope. You don’t know how long I’ve been in that house! Now that I think about it, it’s all so silly I ever stayed there all this time! Who knows how many friends like you two I missed out on?” It was nice to hear that.

“Then all we have is the wind on our backs and a ballad to write. We will walk and trek and traverse and travel till we see life!” The two approved our mission and we went on. Silence for the road ahead, like the gentle dove on its trip to salvation. Oh our pledge to ponies and to this world was tremendous indeed! Our passion nailed us to the stars with bravado above—

“That’s a lot of jewelry you have!” A voice chirped. Bella walked beside me and was examining me.

I laughed and erected my neck and walking pace. “They are not mere pieces of jewelry. They are ancillary devices integral to my power.”

Bella was not inspired but more amused. “Sure.” She giggled a skeptical giggle.

A thought occurred to me. “Does the pendant look familiar, Bella?”

“Sorry, can’t say I’ve seen it before. It looks a little too gaudy for my tastes.”

Not at all uneasy about my masculinity, I opted to change the subject: “Bella, you spoke of a dream? How did it transpire?”

“Hmmm.” Her eyes looked upwards as she thought. “I can’t seem to remember anymore. Just someone talking to me and trying to tell me I shouldn’t go.” She shrugged and forgot the rest.

“And you, Scattershot? A dream of such drew from you something?” I asked, turning to the mare lagging behind.

We waited for her to catch up. “I don’t think so. I don’t remember if I did. Sorry.”

“Not at all! Such is hope: heaven’s own gift to struggling mortals, pervading, like more subtle essence from the skies, all things good and bad.”

With that declaration fell a silence as we progressed. Bella’s farm dissipated into a storm behind us as an ugly thickness grew in the air. Only minute at first, though its pungency became more acute as we neared the apparent source. From the outcrop of a rock formation, a path seemed to flatten out and invite us along it. Holographic and glistening in what little light escaped through the clouds overhead, this obsidian pathway was clearly carved out. Around it grew steep inclines and sharpened ledges as the sides progressed upwards to the heavens. Prisms of beautiful volcanic glass like steps to the roost, though they slipped away behind the walls of the path.

Strikes of glittering red began to spread across the faces of the walls and the roof of the cave the path had led us into. The ground grew warm beneath our hooves as the mouth of the cave became obscured and hidden in the dimness of the volcanic cavern, only the ruby stripes and arrows giving off light to continue through. Activity and lava pools took their toll on the temperature, an oven we seemed to have stumbled into.

Relaxing breezes from the cave’s escape washed over the beads of sweat collecting on my forehead. This landscape surely was curious. As we exited the cavern of magma, the open sky was visible, though on all sides we were boxed in by walls of that familiar striped obsidian blend. Before us stood stolid gates like barricades, though voices could be heard beyond it. A tycoon of soot and ash, a guard in her guard tower peered over her perch.

“On what wind did you three mares drift here on?” The guard bellowed.

My foot personified by anger to the gender classification error. “Do you have a leader here? We are travelers on a mission of divinity!”

The pony in the tower gasped when she heard me. “What is this? A spirit?” She wondered.

I smirked. “No, for I eat and sleep and have senses such as thee! I am but humble and eternal Ostentatious. You may call me Ostentatious. In the name of the heavens themselves I decree you open these doors to us!” Without a word or response she was gone and the crank of wheel began to spin. Gates spread their arms open to let the town embrace us, as did the gaze of a few dozen ponies who crowded around the opening. A sea of eyelashes and a crowd of only mares.

All staring at me.
An uneasiness swept over me and I tried my best to assert myself. “I am Ostentatious. My two companions are Scattershot and Bella. I have come from across the barriers of mist to free this world.” Their eyes began to widen. “Please, does this village have a leader?” There was no answer until a pony pushed her way through the crowd to greet us.

Covered in a little less soot than the crowd, she exuded a sort of regality and authority. Curses seemed to spread themselves across this world: All faces in the crowd looked in the prime of their youth, all without insignias or symbols or marks on their bodies, and all with a bewildered look upon me. “I am Grassy Knoll. We are a village of distraught and disturbed ponies. We could use your help.”

“What disturbance?” Asked Bella curiously.

The question drew the sound of a swoop from the air. Slicing of wings crossed the air and picked up two stray mares in its path. Scattershot and Bella found themselves on the other side of the gate with the crowd, leaving me out and in the heat of all the inquisitive eyes. A series of blurs sucked my mane in all directions until the vortex stopped and a lone figure blocked my route to the town and my displaced friends.

Extravagant wings stretched and tucked themselves at the figure’s side. Trickery hidden away by a mask and goggles, this pegasus scowled in my direction and looked me over. Hair voluminous and curls abound, streaks of magenta and scarlet ran side by side across her mane. An ocean blue frame to this feminine demon, her grimace at my sight only highlighted itself among the volcanic surroundings.

“What’s the meaning of this, Tempest?” Grassy Knoll inquired, taken aback by the stunt.

“I could ask you the same thing!” She returned, a gruff female voice turning to the village leader. Her goggles shined with the reflection of the obsidian. “Stallions have not been here since our grassy hill became this disgusting volcano and the monsters took our sun. They took them all and made them those accursed souls, and now you are about to let one in without even the smallest interrogation?” She snorted. “You’re lucky to have me, Knoll. Who knows what havoc this spy would wreak on us all.”

“You’re wrong!” Called Scattershot. “We are his friends of our own accord!”

Tempest rolled her eyes behind her thick goggles. “Don’t speak for him for he is a traitor! That’s his spell. The monsters taught it to him to get you to lead him here!” She threw a hoof in my direction. “He’s here to take the rest of us to those creatures!” Finally she turned to me, the apparent offender. “Isn’t that right, spy?”

I laughed. “No, as I am a pony!” Though the crowd, and quite possibly the two mares once at my side, began to waiver in their opinion of me. Some seemed convinced, others drawn between the two options. “What is this? Becomes thyselves lightning and assist me! I am here to galvanize, not terrorize!”

The heroin took over the laughing role. “No one here wants your help! You can’t even prove yourself.”

“And how should I go about such a process?” I asked.

She thought for a moment. “Prove to us you are who you say you are! This unicorn from Equestria. Perform a spell or trick you could only have learned there!”

People in the crowd fidgeted in anticipation of my feat and whispered in agreement of the validity of the test. I had a trick in mind to employ. A moment was used to gather energy, then a thrust of a linear line of light into the atmosphere. A few gasps escaped, though the crowd was mostly silent. As the beam traveled higher and higher, it eventually met the barrier of clouds. Like water or a liquid of equal viscosity, density, size, appearance, matter, and chemical makeup, the beam cut through it like a knife through bread. A fine whirlpool of clouds swirled and breathed a stream of light around me for the skeptical eyes to marvel upon. The pendant and my band caught the light in their metallic bodies and knew no limitations of beauty. For a few moments it lasted, a pleasant aura around me. As such glorious things come, they must go, the sky finally correcting itself and moving on.

The crowd was awed by the spectacle, though the heroine seemed more frightened. “Now you’ve done it! You see?” She turned to the crowd. “He’s signaled the monsters to our fortress!”
“I am but a noble spirit! I performed to the point the spectacle that thee bade me! To every article!” I yelled over her frantic cries and the crowds’ gasps and whispers.
“Hell is empty, and all the devils are here! Everyone get insi—“

“Tempest, stop.” Said Knoll, raising her hoof to the upstart pegasus’s back. “We’ll all go inside, including the young stallion.” With a triumphant grin I followed Grassy Knoll through the gates.
The faintest whisper escaped from the lips of Tempest. Perhaps a curse or other indiscernible remark. I ignored it and followed my two friends and Grassy Knoll to a nearby home to discuss matters further.

***

A heavy thud met the wooden desk as the tome I had borrowed from the library finally proved its use. Magic flipped the pages and scanned the titles, finding the name of the creatures Knoll had spoken of. By the flickering light of the candle I dictated the script.

“Titan

Ancient deities formed of the natural elements they are born of. Towering high above the equine body and on two legs these monsters charge. Ruthless yet obedient, they follow a master as slaves. A mythical creature only destroyed by breaking the seal of their animation.”

“Shall I read on?” I asked. The heat of the rocks and walls around us drew a tense environment.

“No, that creature fits our description. What of this seal?”

Tempest yawned, leaning herself against a back wall. “It’s probably the weird green mark on their backs. I’ve kicked it multiple times, but they always seem to put themselves back together.”

Knoll nodded. “Well that’s where you can help us, I suppose. Do you know how to break a seal?”

The concept seemed foreign to me, though Bella had confidence in me. “He can shoot arrows with magic, does that help?”

I took over. “I will have to face these demons in the ring to see what I may do to destroy them. Where can I find them?”

Stopped short of an answer, the pulsation of an alarm rolled through the town and shook us from the slump of the heat. Tempest took flight and exited to meet the warning. The rest of us followed, knowing the battle ahead.