Inspired by Assassin's Creed Franchise. With their friends and family, Starlight is on quest for the redemption while Flash Sentry sought for answer of his ability, but caught in the war between Wind Assassins and Demon Knights.
Great story. I like the content, the idea, and the creativity. The first couple of obvious errors I noticed, were that you put...A LOT of DOT. Instead of putting '.............' just put '...' trust me, three's enough. An optional thing, I'd recommend that when you transition in the story, center it and put in something small like ~#~ or ~~~ or ---. It may just be laziness on my part, but there were a WHOLE LOT of words in dat first chapter xD Overall, a few errors, the story has potential, keep writing! I love teh Assassina's! One more recommendation, put some Italian/Latine terms in there. It will make it more...assassinscreedish. Preferably Latine, it can be referred to as the old pony language.
I will definitely favorite this story! It's amazing! I have sought for a story like thus on the MLP fandom for a LONG time, and this one's awesome!
There is only a thing. Maybe you could try getting somepony to help you with the grammar, there are some parts that I had to read twice in order to make sense of it. Not that I really care, because when a story's worth it I read it!!
Will there be a Flashlight romance?
4175454
Sorry. In part of JusSonic's Universe, she and him are just friends, because JusSonic's character paired with her.
Great story. I like the content, the idea, and the creativity.
The first couple of obvious errors I noticed, were that you put...A LOT of DOT. Instead of putting '.............' just put '...' trust me, three's enough.
An optional thing, I'd recommend that when you transition in the story, center it and put in something small like ~#~ or ~~~ or ---.
It may just be laziness on my part, but there were a WHOLE LOT of words in dat first chapter xD
Overall, a few errors, the story has potential, keep writing!
I love teh Assassina's!
One more recommendation, put some Italian/Latine terms in there. It will make it more...assassinscreedish. Preferably Latine, it can be referred to as the old pony language.
Thanks for Reading my Mini Review!
~Mousei11
4175672
I'd very appreciate your opinion and critics.
4175688 Thank you and your welcome!
Good start.
I will definitely favorite this story! It's amazing! I have sought for a story like thus on the MLP fandom for a LONG time, and this one's awesome!
There is only a thing. Maybe you could try getting somepony to help you with the grammar, there are some parts that I had to read twice in order to make sense of it. Not that I really care, because when a story's worth it I read it!!