• Member Since 31st Mar, 2014
  • offline last seen 4 hours ago

Shadow Master


Comments ( 14 )

Will there be a Flashlight romance?

4175454

Sorry. In part of JusSonic's Universe, she and him are just friends, because JusSonic's character paired with her.

Great story. I like the content, the idea, and the creativity. :pinkiehappy:
The first couple of obvious errors I noticed, were that you put...A LOT of DOT. Instead of putting '.............' just put '...' trust me, three's enough. :unsuresweetie:
An optional thing, I'd recommend that when you transition in the story, center it and put in something small like ~#~ or ~~~ or ---. :rainbowkiss:
It may just be laziness on my part, but there were a WHOLE LOT of words in dat first chapter xD :rainbowlaugh:
Overall, a few errors, the story has potential, keep writing! :twilightsmile:
I love teh Assassina's! :pinkiecrazy:
One more recommendation, put some Italian/Latine terms in there. It will make it more...assassinscreedish. Preferably Latine, it can be referred to as the old pony language. :ajsmug:

Thanks for Reading my Mini Review!
~Mousei11

4175672

:twilightsmile: I'd very appreciate your opinion and critics.

4175688 Thank you and your welcome! :pinkiehappy:

Yikes! Why did these guys do it? Things are getting mysterious here.

I will definitely favorite this story! It's amazing! I have sought for a story like thus on the MLP fandom for a LONG time, and this one's awesome!

There is only a thing. Maybe you could try getting somepony to help you with the grammar, there are some parts that I had to read twice in order to make sense of it. Not that I really care, because when a story's worth it I read it!!

Aww, but he was in the video game

Good to see all of this here. Nice work.

Well i don´t know why so many say its bad. I say it is a realy good story.

Ok, Ive been thinking and WHO THE (insert word that starts with "f" and ends with "uck" here) ARE BEN, NYX, PHOBOS AND PRETTY MUCH EVERY BAD GUY MENTIONED!

5439018

Read from Curse of the Demon Pony till today's story from JusSonic's work for Ben and Phobos while Nyx belongs to PenstrokePony and read his Past Sins. While some bad guys I had in mind are based from Assassin's Creed Video Games Characters.

You use hard too much..
Like seriously.

The patient ponies attacked Flash from behind. Flash quickly dodged down and rolled over two patient ponies. Third and fourth patient ponies punched on Flash to the ground hard. Flash quickly jumped to is back quickly.
Three Demon Knights swung their swords from the top on Flash hard. He quickly pushed his enemies' blades up, before slashed his on their chests hard. Flash punched and kicked on few Demon Knights' heads, faces, hooves and bodies. Flash took one Demon Knight, swinging him around him for few times, before throwing his enemy to the wall hard.
Five pony patients charged in and attacked of punching, kicking and hitting Flash, who quickly dodged and headed back. From his back, Demon Knights swung their swords on Flash's back. Flash yelped in pain, causing him to move to the front. The pony patients attacked and punched on Flash's face and chest hard.

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