• Member Since 23rd Jul, 2012
  • offline last seen May 6th, 2021

BumpyWish


A life growing in pony's belly is the most lovely thing in the world.

Comments ( 33 )

A pregnant fetish is required to read this stories.

I've got the keys, now let me iiiiiin

The subject matter is definitely unf-worthy, but yeah, the language is rather difficult. I'll try combing through this chapter later on to see if I can straighten it out for you.

4527319 Aww, you are too kind. I believe I can still improve. :twilightblush:

4523717 Thank you so much for helping! ^w^

Please, continue. I find this...
savepic.org/5320456.png
...fascinating.

Let you know if there are any grammatical errors? Um...where do I begin? :fluttershysad:
Unfortunately, they're everywhere. Every corner of the story has them. But you're new to English, right? :pinkiegasp:

4532142
I would say, for his level, it was pretty decent. However, the people who know English like I do perform at a FAR higher quality than this. Though, beauty sits in the eye of the beholder, I suppose. :applejackunsure:

4684158 Not really new but still unfamiliar with it. Maybe you can point out some errors that appear frequently? :twilightblush:

Can we expect to see Glisten or Blue Drip?

Brilliant.
Simply brilliant.

About 65%-75% of the sentences of the first chapter were full of mistakes. Mainly minor ones though. Either missing a word or two or having the correct words but in the wrong order.

The second chapter was much better. I was rooting for you the whole way. I only see a few mistakes so far (crosses fingers). "'Name Roseluck'" No! It is suppose to be "My name is Roseluck." So close. Only about 50% of the second chapter had mistakes and most of it is located in the dialogue.

From chapter one to chapter two, it's a massive improvement. I know it will become even more concise in the next chapter.

Best of luck, stay healthy, and update soon!

-Sky66

4738968 Thanks! That's really helpful.:pinkiehappy:

Love Nest felt very uneasy as her was sexing with the creature,

Much confuse.
English isnt my first language too!
The only reason my mistakes dont show is because I dont cant type that much.:pinkiesmile:
Maaaybe switch 'her' with 'she'?:duck:

3/10 for grammar.
For example...

I had this story in my mind for a long time but I really had no confident of my English. If you found any grammar error, feel free to tell me! >.<

In my English*.
If you found any grammar errors (should actually only be 'If you found any errors'.)

5425620 Thanks for correcting me, I'll keep it in mind. :)

4708889 I LOVE INVADER ZIM AND I LOVE GRR:heart:

You asked for this.

A pregnant fetish is required to read this stories.
Each chapters are independent from other chapters.

When referring to fetishes, you often don't use present tense, instead of 'pregnant' put 'pregnancy'
You're only referring to this one story. 'stories' is plural, instead of 'stories' put 'story'
The second line is a bit trickier, there are probably other ways you could word it depending on what you are trying to say, but I'm just going to show you how I would word it from my interpretation.
Full correction:

A pregnancy fetish is required to read this story.
Each chapter is its own story.


Instead of pregnant with foals, some mares hid the secret, is carrying some mysterious creatures in Equestria. They are breeding these mysterious creatures without anypony's attention. Will these creatures make chaos, or benefit to the land of Equestria?

Try this instead:

Instead of being pregnant with foals, some mares hid a secret in their womb. These mares carried mysterious creatures throughout Equestria, they willingly bred them under everypony' noses, without drawing attention to themselves. The number of these creatures in Equestria steadily increases thanks to these mares.

The question is, will these creatures be beneficial to Equestria? Or will they cause chaos?


Story involves: pregnancy, hyper pregnancy, interspecies pregnancy, inflation, tentacles, symbiotic

Incorrect word for the context, should be 'symbiotes'


Bonus authors note! Yay!

Author:
It's first time I wrote the story and uploaded here. English is not my first language so the grammar might be poor and uncomfortable. ^^;
If you got any suggestions for me, feel free to. :)

it's = it is, which refers to a single object, should be 'this is the'
'I wrote the' does not make sense. Should be 'I have written a'
Full correction:

Author:
This is the first time I have written a story and uploaded it here. English is not my first language so the grammar might be poor.
If you have any suggestions for me, feel free to post them in the comments. :)

Comment posted by Warrior Kitten deleted May 6th, 2015

5868362 Totally worth it. Thank you so much. XD
You got 4 sketches. Send me a private mail and let me know what would you like.

5868800
Yeah. Funny thing about that. I read your blog post and saw that it said you'd give something back in return, but somehow didn't see the part about sketches.

So, I don't know. Honestly I did this just because I read you were asking. Wow. Now I feel bad. Um...

Yeah I got nothing.

5869210 You mean an example of sketch?
i.imgur.com/OEqHVdtm.png

Don't worry. Though I might be a little insane here... Promise is a promise. I will measure my ability after first few comments. XD

Here goes...

"B-but......" That left Roseluck in great confusion, she looked at her swollen belly and folks in Ponyville. She had no choice. She nodded to Blue Drip and followed her.

To look at her belly and the folks in Ponyville? Nope. And think this spot here needs a comma not a period. Here's what I think you meant:

"B-but......" That left Roseluck in great confusion, she looked at her swollen belly, then thought about the folks in Ponyville. She had no choice, then she nodded to Blue Drip and followed her.

___________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________

"It would be 30 minutes, however your condition may not allow it. I think one or two hours would be required."

It would be 30 minutes? Nope. Punctuation errors, I think one? I'll let you choose between these two since both would be grammatically correct, about one or two hours, or only one or two hours. You using a too complicated word, use words that mean the same, but are commonly used:

"I think it would take about 30 minutes. However, your condition may not allow it. I think (about or only) one or two hours would be needed."

___________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________

"U-um o-oh yeah. She is Blue Drip, just my acquaintance. We are heading back to Ponyville!" Roseluck made an awkward smile as she responded.

She is Blue Drip? Nope. Just my acquaintance? That's missing a few words or you used a wrong word... or both:

"U-um o-oh yeah. This is Blue Drip, she is just an acquaintance. We are heading back to Ponyville!" Roseluck made an awkward smile as she responded.

___________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________

"Name Fluttershy. Nice to meet you too. Are you carrying some heavy packages? Do you need my help?" Fluttershy noticed the thing under Roseluck's cape and hoping she could lend a helping hoof.

Name Fluttershy? Definitely NOPE. Nice to meet you too? Nope. Hoping? Stick with what you started with, this is present tense not past tense:

"My name is Fluttershy. It's nice to meet you. Are you carrying some heavy packages? Do you need my help?" Fluttershy noticed the thing under Roseluck's cape and hoped she could lend a helping hoof.

Please continue this is great

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