The Internet

by Hodd

Mountain Dew

Twilight's library was dark. Only minuscule tendrils of light streaked through closed blinds. Dust hung in the air, sinking ever so slowly before being picked up by an updraft once more. Candle light flickered, casting long shadows across the wooden floor.

A lavender form sat in the center of the room, eyes fixated on a single book, moving left to right over and over in a repeating pattern all too familiar to the pony. Loud knocking interrupted her reading, and jarred her thoughts. "Who is it?" she called out.

A familiar voice answered. "Tweedle-Dee, and Tweedle-Let-Us-The-Hell-In!"

"Calm down Pinkie! Jeez, you really should take your bipolar medication!" replied another familiar voice, this time with an unmistakable southern drawl. Twilight rose to her hooves, and trudged to the door. "What do you want?" she asked, head barely poking out from the doorway.

"We're here to tell ya that there's a way to fix all this mess!" replied Applejack. "Celestia found a way!" Twilight perked up a small amount. "She did?" Twilight asked.

"Yeah. She says she has to... "troll the internet back into oblivion?" Twilight's eyes widened. "Get in," she said plainly.

Applejack and Pinkie Pie strained to see inside Twilight's dark home. "Sorry about the outburst, AJ," Pinkie apologized, popping two small, white pills in her mouth, and then swallowing. "Gimme ten minutes, and I'll be fine." AJ's gaze shifted back from Pinkie to Twilight.

"So what does that mean, 'troll the internet back into Oblivion?'" Applejack asked curiously.

"I assume the Princess has already explained the concept of trolling to you?" Twilight inquired.

Applejack nodded.

"Well good for you. I had to learn the hard way. Anyway, if she really has the raw natural talent, then it may be possible to defeat the internet once and for all. But if she's going to do it, she needs halp."

"I'm sorry, sugarcube, did you say 'halp?'"

Twilight flinched. "Oh no. It's already begun. OK listen. Applejack, you and Pinkie need to do me a favor. Go to Sugarcube corner, and get me as much Mountain Dew; Code Red as possible."

Applejack's face contorted in confusion. "But, what in the hay is goin' on?" she asked.

"Celestia can't do it on her own. We all need to help. Now, GTFO!!! And don't come back until you have the Mountain Dew!"

With that, she butted them out the door. Leaving Applejack to supply them with Mountain Dew. Pinkie Pie, however, simply laid on the ground in a puddle of her own saliva, her medication finally kicking in.

"Uh, Pinkie? You ok?"

Pinkie Pie's ear twitched in response, just before she sprung up from the ground, eye to eye with Applejack.

"Oh, hi Applejack! What are we doing, getting Mountain Dew? That sounds like so much fun! I can't wait to get back, and bring them to Twilight! Oh, I never knew she liked soda, isn't that strange? I thought I knew eeevery thing about eeeevery pony!"

Applejack shook her head incredulously. "You worry me, darlin."

---

A loud knock on her door jarred Twilight from her concentrated state. "Who is it? What do you want?"

Applejack's voice responded. "We got your freaky-deaky red drink! But there's something you may want to see."

Twilight walked to the door, and swung it open. "Get in. Now."

Applejack and Pinkie didn't object, and trotted inside, Twilight slamming the large wooden door of the library behind them. Applejack set down a palate of Mountain Dew, and took a seat, Pinkie joining her. She stared at them intently, scanning them for something.

"You weren't stopped by anything were you?" she asked them.

"Uh, no Sugarcube. Why do ya ask?" AJ responded.

Twilight looked away. "Don't touch, talk to, communicate with, or interact with anything abnormal. The internet feeds off of that... Anyway, what did you want to show me?"

Applejack motioned for Twilight to follow, ascending the stairs, leaving Pinkie Pie in a near comatose state. "Check it out," she said, pointing a hoof out Twilight's bedroom window. Twilight peered outside, scanning the landscape for anything abnormal. As she did, a slender black shape became visible, dancing in Ponyville town square.

Twilight slammed the curtains shut. "Dear Celestia!! You didn't communicate with it, did you!? Did you even look at it for more than a second or two!?"

Applejack shook her head lamely, still finding the gravity of the situation hard to grasp. Before she could ask Twilight what that thing was, Twilight bolted past her, and stared over the banister just outside her room, staring at Pinkie Pie. "Pinkie," she began. "Are you down there?"

Pinkie didn't respond. Instead, she stared ahead, her face not visible to Twilight.

"Pinkie?"

Pinkie turned, revealing a face that was no longer her own, but contorted into sickly black lines, forming a wicked smile.

Twilight's heart skipped a beat as she slammed the door shut.

WHAM!!!

Applejack spun around from Twilight's window to face her. "What?! What is it? What's going on?" Twilight shot her a glare. "I thought you said you didn't communicate with it!!"

"I didn't, Twi!"

"But did Pinkie?"

Applejack's eyes lowered. Twilight sensed this and approached her. "Did she?" she repeated. Applejack's honesty shone through once more, forcing out the truth.

"Ok," she began. "On the way here... she argued with it- but only for a second, before I dragged her away!"

Twilight groaned in frustration. "Even arguing with the trolls for a measly second can be enough!!" Applejack's face contorted in confusion. "Wait," she began. "I thought you and the Princess were doing the trolling."

"Trolls have already found their way here," Twilight responded. "And they got Pinkie. The only thing left to do is meet up with the Princess, and hope we can stop it in time."

An eery tune came from the center of the library, and creeped into Twilight's room.

Nananananana, ohohohoh. Trolololololol.

"Come on," said Twilight. "We have to leave now."

"But it's so catchy!" replied Applejack, becoming transfixed in the tune's simple, yet addicting sound.

"Now!"

With that, the room filled with a white flash, and the two were gone.

Comments

[Frost]

Better than another one with the same basic idea... More due to purposely making it a cliche-fest. Even more so than better-written cliche-fests.

[Clockwise Gear]

Well this should be interesting.
*swipes copies of images*

[Cookies Need Love]

467110
True, true. Poor Pinkie...