Chapter 8
Time and Time Again
World Destroyed: 7 Times
Dark Lords Defeated: 1
"Spike, wake up!"
"Uhh, I am awake, Twilight. At least, I think I am."
Twilight Sparkle blinked and looked around. She had just died for the seventh time – oh, yes she was absolutely keeping score – and was prepared to teleport blindly if she had to. Anything to keep from experiencing an excruciating demise at the hands, hooves, or claws of another Dark Lord.
Thankfully, she was back in the sky with the princesses, and this time Spike was with her.
"Welcome back, Twilight," Princess Celestia said warmly. "I knew you could defeat the Dark Lord."
Twilight forced herself to smile. "Yes, well. I suppose just about anypony could have defeated him," she said. "Given enough chances," she added under her breath.
"We only have a few moments, so we should make this quick," Princess Luna said. She walked over to Twilight and wrapped a wing around her shoulder, then pointed towards the ground with a hoof. "Do you see him, Twilight?"
Twilight peered down into the darkness. At first she wasn't sure what she was looking for, but she eventually found it. There, hovering a few hundred feet above the Everfree Forest, was the original Dark Lord, fresh off being blasted by Twilight. His robe was burnt in places, and his tiny fist was raised defiantly in the air.
"The Dark Lord..." Twilight whispered.
"Yes," Luna said. "He has been defeated, but I wouldn't put it past him to cause more trouble in the future. You must get to Canterlot as quickly as possible and retrieve the Spell of Destruction. If you don't, I fear this Dark Lord will make copies of the spell and spread it all throughout Equestria." She used a hoof to raise Twilight's gaze to her own. "We'll have Dark Lords sprouting up all over the country!"
Sure, why not? Twilight thought. Obviously, defeating a Dark Lord within thirty seconds wasn't difficult enough. Why not throw some monsters into the mix, and then while we're at it we can turn everypony into a Dark Lord. Yes, that sure sounded like fun.
"Uh, Twilight? Are you okay?" Spike asked. He backed away from her when, grinding her teeth, she turned her glare in his direction.
"Suuuure!" she said, barely moving her mouth. "Everything is just peachy!"
"If you say so..."
Princess Celestia stepped forward. "Once we restart time, it will still be a long way to Canterlot from your position in the Everfree forest. My sister and I have come up with a way we might be able to assist you."
"Does it involve turning Spike into a Dark Lord?" Twilight grumbled. "Because that wouldn't be very helpful."
Celestia's tinkling giggle only further annoyed Twilight. "Oh, no," the Princess soothed. "Our plan is to give you some more time to accomplish your task."
Twilight blinked. "Really?" she asked. There had to be a catch.
"Yes, really," Celestia said. "As it is, it would be almost impossible for you to reach Canterlot within thirty seconds. This is obviously a problem."
You don't say, Twilight thought.
"But then," Luna chipped in, "we remembered how much we like cake."
"Cake?"
"Yes, Twilight. Cake," Celestia said. "Though chocolate will do, too."
"Hey, alright!" Spike said. "I like cake, too!"
"That's nice," Celestia said with a smile. "Now, there is bound to be cake–"
"Or chocolate," Luna interrupted.
"–or chocolate somewhere between your current location and the Dark Lord." Celestia put a reassuring hoof on Twilight's shoulder. "All you need to do is find us some, and we'll temporarily stop time for you."
"It's a win-win situation," Luna said. She sat down and stared at Twilight expectantly.
The next twenty seconds were completely silent as Twilight stared at the princesses. Did they really just bribe her for sweets? It was Spike who broke the silence.
"Can I have some cake?" he asked.
Princess Celestia's smile widened. "Only if you survive." Spike looked ready to reply, but Celestia cut him off. "Oops, we're out of time again. Don't let us down, heroes!"
"I'm looking forward to some chocolate," Luna said, waving goodbye, her eyes sparkling. "Dark, if you can find it!"
With that, Twilight and Spike appeared once more within the Everfree forest.
And it begins... AGAIN!
Oh geez. It's like, a video game, where you are racing against the clock and picking up items gives you more time. Unless the cake is so magically potent that it gives the princesses an energy boost in order to stop time. this is quite interesting I guess
Win win? I think the win win situation would be the princesses stopping time anyway, and then maybe getting cake and chocolate for themselves once this is all over. It'll only take a few minutes.
What? I am getting the feeling this is all trolling
4413249
It is indeed rather a lot like that. For some reason.
4413461 what reason can there be other than 'because magic'?
Man the essence of the trollishness of the game was captured perfectly.
wait so...
Celestia bribed Twilight, giving her a chance to stop time
...in exchange for cake?
Isn't HER kingdom at risk here? Why doesn't she just stop time anyways?
Oh geez. I can't help but feel Twilight is being played for a fool.
4413260
I second this. What in the actual, virtual, and metaphysical fuck is going on here?
... clearly, I need to play this game.
I'm pretty sure the Sisters are officially trolling Twilight at this point. That, or this is all an elaborate ruse of Discord's.
In any case, looking forward to more.
4414080
In the game Half-Minute Hero, on which this story is based, the Time Goddess is horribly, horribly greedy. She'll reset each level's thirty-second countdown to destruction whenever you want... so long as you can pay an ever-increasing cost.
The Sisters control the treasury, so monetary bribes probably don't hold up well. On the other hand, that doesn't make their gifts of choice make any more sense.
4414329 Obviously, the royal dietitian has decided that the princesses are not allowed any more cake, as the royal flanks are starting to get a tad large.
It's like how i play Phoenix Wright when i get stuck.
4414329
It's either psychosis or taking the piss! One wonders what the Princesses end game looks like; or is the game itself the whole of it?
Oh my god, Princesses, that's not how you save the world! YOU'RE BOTH TERRIBLE.
One, Twilight wants to blast spike!
How could you!
2.
The trollllllll personality has been reviled to Twi.
How long until she cracks?
Bets?
This is some sort of crack fic, right? Right?
The priorities are REAL.
This is messed up on so many levels. But I can't stop reading! Please continue!
>I blame Obselescence intensifies.
This story reminds me of Majora's Mask in a way...
trololololoolololoolo