Chapter 2: revelations
Twilight, Applejack, Rarity, Fluttershy, Rainbow Dash, Pinkie Pie, Spike, Princess Celestia and Luna all arrived at Twilights library with a small colt that they had found near the castle ruins in the Everfree forest. Twilight had floated the little colt over to the sofa and very gently set him down on it to get some rest.
“Do you think he’s going to wake up anytime soon Twilight? I want to throw him a party as soon as possib…” Pinkie was cut short by a zipper appearing where her mouth was and was promptly zipping shut.
“Pinkie, you need to be quiet. The poor boy has been through a lot and needs his rest so please keep your voice down. You can plan a party for him another time but right now he needs to sleep, ok?” Twilight said sternly while trying to keep her own voice a little lower than normal. Twilight removed the spell from Pinkies mouth after she nodded in understanding.
After everyone had settled down and gotten comfortable Twilight started to wonder what had caused such an enormous amount of magic to suddenly explode and why there was a young injured alicorn out in the middle of the Everfree Forest.
"Princess Celestia, what happened? Why was there that much magic left in the Everfree Forest after the explosion happened and why did the explosion happen to begin with? And who is the little c-" was all Twilight managed to get out before Celestia raised a hoof to silence her.
"Slow down Twilight Sparkle or you will awaken our little guest. Now i will answer all of your questions after you do one thing."
"And what is that princess?" asked Twilight trying her hardest to not look confused. Celestia raised a hoof and pointed it in the direction of the young alicorn who was asleep on the sofa. Twilight turned around to notice the colt shaking in his sleep and suddenly it hit her that it was rather cold, so without even having to ask she got up onto the sofa and used her body as a fire to keep the alicorn warm.
Celestia smiled at her pupil but then her expression turned into one of confusion until she straightened herself out enough to say "Why do you not use a blanket? Surely that would have been the best option wouldn’t you agree?"
Trying not to look embarrassed she explained to Celestia how earlier in the day Pinkie had managed to prank Spike while he was doing the laundry and he accidentally burnt all but 2 blankets to nothing but ashes and that the only 2 remaining blankets were still being washed. Everyone but Twilight and Spike laughed and even Celestia and Luna gave a small chuckle as well.
After the laughter had died down Twilight decided to ask again, "So princess, what was that magical explosion?"
Celestia decided that Twilight should know so she nodded to Luna who the proceeded to return the nod. Celestia put on a stern face and asked "Do you remember Starswirl the bearded Twilight?” Twilight nodded. “Well back when he was alive he had a theory that our universe might not be the only one in existence so he created a device that will allow him to peek into another universe"
Everypony (and dragon) except the princesses held their mouths agape at what they had just heard. After about a minute of silence they had regained their composures, Twilight tried to ask something but was cut off by Celestia before she could speak.
"Now he did manage to create such a device but the magical requirements needed to open a small window were enormous. Luna and I had volunteered to use our magic to help power the device but Starswirl wouldn’t let us as the device wasn’t capable of using alicorn magic as it is slightly different to unicorn magic so he made it to steal some of his magic each day and stop when he went to sleep. It was designed to take magic from its target but not so much that it would have an effect on their everyday usage. Since Starswirl was very gifted and powerful sorcerer the device was able to take a lot of power. Sadly it didn’t gather enough magic to open a window before he passed on."
Again everypony except the princesses looked like they were imitating a venus fly trap. "If the device didn’t have enough magic then why did it go off today?" asked Twilight after she had recovered from the shock.
"Well Twilight, when Starswirl passed away the machine didn’t just stop working; it found a new target to take magic from. Over the years it has taken energy from the most powerful unicorn at the time until they passed on and it found a new target. And several years ago it found you."
"M-m-me! Why would it find me? I may be gifted but I’m not that strong. So why would it choose me?" asked Twilight with a serious look of confusion on her face along with all her friends.
"Because my student, you are the most powerful unicorn in all of Equestria. The reason you didn’t think so was because the machine was stealing magic from you. I know this because of the time I first met you. Do you remember when you tried using your magic and Rainbow Dash's sonic rainboom scared you which caused your magic to run wild?" Twilight nodded while still looking at her mentor with disbelief.
"Well the reason why it ran wild was partly because you couldn’t control it, the other reason was the machine was disrupted when the sonic rainboom interrupted it, so it stopped stealing your magic for a minute. This is why your magic went wild; your magic was so accustomed to being drained from you that it started to draw itself to the machine, so when the machine stopped but your magic didn’t, the result was you creating a maelstrom of magic around yourself."
author note: couldn’t find image with mane 6 all looking shocked this is the best i found
"So tha' means that our Twi over here is the most powerful unicorn in all of Equestria?" asked Applejack in disbelief.
"Yes Applejack, thou art correct. We have not seen one such as Twilight Sparkle in many years." calmly confirmed the beautiful goddess of the night.
"Wha-bu-jus-huh?" Twilight stuttered trying to piece together a sentence and failing miserably. Just as she was about to speak again and attempt to form a sentence she was cut off by Celestia who had decided to try and calm the situation down.
"Now listen to me my student, you may be the most powerful unicorn currently and probably the strongest since Starswirl himself but do not let it go to your head. You are still young and inexperienced and a mere filly compared to other unicorns. You need to learn to control your magic and use it wisely. Now that Starswirl’s device seems to have been destroyed you shou-" before the golden goddess cold speak another word she was bombarded by questions from everypony including Spike...(well all except Luna) she managed to quiet everypony down to allow each of them to speak one at a time. She decided that Rarity would be best to ask first.
"So Rarity what did you wish to ask?"
"Well princess I wanted to know what you meant by saying that Starswirl’s device has been destroyed."
"If you want to know then I shall tell you. Starswirl’s device was left in the clearing you girls found, and judging by what you told me was there when you found it, it appears as though his device must have been destroyed in the explosion. Now that that question is out of the way, Twilight, what did you want to know?"
"I wanted to know what you meant by his device being destroyed but now that that has been answered I wish to know what you were going to say after you said it was destroyed."
"Well my student, I was going to say that since the device is destroyed and no longer able to steal magic from you then very soon, most probably in the next few hours, your magic should regenerate itself to its maximum capacity. This means you will be getting a very large rush of magic swelling up within you soon. And to answer another question I know you were going to ask is yes, I believe I know the reason why your magic has been getting stronger these past weeks. It is most likely because the device had started to reach its maximum capacity at holding magic so it started to drain less and less from you until earlier it reached it and promptly exploded being unable to contain so much magic."
"But princess, if it had so much magic and exploded then why wasn’t most of the forest gone? Why was there only a large teleportation scorch mark on the floor?" asked Twilight becoming more inquisitive and confused by the second.
"Well I think you know the reason why." said Celestia gesturing to a small black alicorn curled up next to Twilight. "I believe the machine somehow activated itself when it reached maximum capacity and when it activated and didn’t use all the necessary power, it put it all inside him. And I must say he has a lot of magic in him, if I had to guess he probably has as much magic right now as Discord. I just hope that he doesn’t abuse his mag-"said Celestia until being cut off again by everypony excluding Luna.
"WHAT!!!" exclaimed everyone all at once. Just as they were about to speak again Twilight shouted with enough force to rival the royal Canterlot voice.
"DO YOU MEAN THAT THIS COLT IS FROM ANOTHER UNIVERSE?"
Just as Celestia was about to speak she was cut short but an unknown voice speaking rather silently. "mmmm, please be quiet and let me sleep, I’m tired."
pretty good chapter, I can see you've fixed most of the errors I brought up in your previous chapter
though your lack of experience really is showing, I can't really describe it but it shows through
plus you never explained (or maybe I just missed it) why Starswirl's machine was in the clearing anyway
435106
it doesnt really need an explanation. it was in the clearing as it was away from other ponies so they couldnt interfere with it plus its near the castle ruins so it makes sense. i decided to leave it up to the readers imagination on why it was there but my explanation a second ago is my interpretation of it. but if you wish i can add that part in to the next chapter when i (the character is based off me but will be put in the perspective of you (the audience) being him....well, this is how i hope to tell the story) ask how i got into equestria, why im a pony, why i cant remember who i am or who my family is yet know about certain things in my life (sorta like selective memory loss but not controlled by me) and why was the machine is such a place as the everfree once i learn how dangerous it is.
435124 so this story is a self-insert? and you're an alicorn? tread very, and I repeat, very carefully, because I foresee him being/becoming a Mary Sue/Marty Stu, especially because he's an alicorn, alicorns' are OP (overpowered, in case you didn't know), therefore they really only work in roles which their OP-ness works in-universe (i.e. being the big bad, ruling another country/universe, or having some kind of previously unknown/unheard of role within Equestria that is on-par with Celestia/Luna. plus he's an author avatar as well? I repeat again, tread very, and I repeat, very carefully
you don't have to change a word of the story (like explaining why the machine was in the forest) just because someone says something, it's your story after all and you can write it how you like
The colt's first words in the story are a polite shut the fuck up... Lol nice
435257
i said thats how i hope to put it. i may not. i may put it in many different formats from self insert to whatever the opposite is and from first person to, second person(dont know how to do second person but will look it up) and third person. but this is only what i want to do if possible with my knowledge of story telling and such being limited im only going to write the story and nothing else. if the story goes into any of those catagories then so be it but im clueless when it comes to story telling since i was kicked out of school due to major bullying(i was bullied not other way around) and had all the blame put on me all the time so my grammar and such probably suck(ok i know they suck) but also my sentance structuring will suck so please forgive me if i buck up.
435356 um, there's no opposite of self insert, it's a yes or no thing, and since you are inserting yourself into the story it will always be a self insert story, also second person viewpoint would be really hard to do as it uses 'you' as the primary pronoun, (first uses 'I', third uses 'he, she, it), so the only real format which uses second person is instructions.
I will gladly pre-read for you, if you need any help with grammar
435400
i guess ill just write it how i like without trying anythign im not familiar with. but yes proof readers would be good. but first you'll have to wait for 2 things. 1. the next hapter to be started and ompleted. 2. my email being unbloked...god i hate hotmail right now
436316 unbloked? what does that mean? did you mean 'unblocked'?
IMO, just switch to gmail, plus google docs is awesome for sharing
436375
thats another reason besides my crappy english skills that i need a proof reader. sometimes i think to fast my fingers cant keep up and also my keyboard's c button doesnt always work unless i hit it very hard.
The chapter turned out pretty well, I will be happily awaiting the next chapter.
436398 well, when you need me to proof read, just send me a message and I'll send you my email
Hello why does your story have an update was it fixed or something ?
509690
accidentaly published chapter 3 when it wasnt even complete so i took it down immediately...sorry
This story is very interesting so far. Please, proceed.