Ever wonder where ponies came from? Where Equestria really is? This is the unwritten history of pony kind and Equestria that Celestia doesn't want you to know. Ponies weren't always free, and Equestria was once unknown even to the Royal Sisters. Follow the tale of Luna and her faithful companion Starshadow as they free the ponies from human oppression, and try to find a place in the world where ponies can be free for all time. Will Celestia side with her sister, or will she help the human that raised them both? What will the humans do to stop the ponies from releasing themselves from bondage?
Cover art by: Sajira
Chapters (3)
I would like to hear what everypony has to say about the story, whether you like it or not. I just ask that it is constructive and not just saying it sucks. Also, thank you to everypony that takes the time to read it.
Well Draco... it is by far one of the better Stories I have read... not the best, but one of the better...
If I had any suggestions, it would be:
A) The story felt kinda rushed in places so far... Eric wasn't developed as much for my tastes... especially being the sadist that set the whole story up...
B) I am not really getting connected to any of the characters... I mean, they feel as if we should know them already, but we don't... Even Luna and Celestia I find myself not connecting to in the slightest...
C) Perhaps the setting/background could be flushed out more... if war/revolution was to occur, I would very much like to know the setting
(ALL PERSONAL TASTES/OPINIONS)
Again, one of the better ones I have read so far... Will continue reading as more comes out.
-2nd
Definitely a lot better then most that I have seen and it peaked my interest for sure, I agree with 2nd on A and C not so much B because I realize this is before the time of the Luna and Celestia I know, and I see how this could fit in well with the future Luna and Nightmare moon.
Also, lol@ Mr.Burns simpsons reference.
Chapter 2 is up all. The chapter briefly introduces certain ancestors of well known ponies. It also shows the depth of emotion between Ryan and his '"daughters". I have noticed that a few ponies don't like my story. I would appreciate that if you dislike it you leave me a comment explaining what is wrong with it, even if it is simply you saying it isn't your kind of story. I can't improve my writing if I don't get feedback from my readers.
I have to admit, this is a much better story than mine.
Why does this have a gore tag, but not a dark tag?