Chapter 1: Arrival
There was nothing about the calm and empty sky that night to suggest that Equestria would be receiving an otherworldly visitor. Above the south fields of Sweet Apple Acres, a bright light lit up the sky, followed by a sharp, chiming bang! A few hundred meters away in the farmhouse, a small, red maned filly was shaken awake. She climbed from her bed and looked out at the orchard, expecting to see a fire or lost and confused unicorn stumbling down the road. Something was out there, and she couldn't shake the notion that she should investigate.
The small pony tiptoed from her bedroom, not wanting to wake and worry her siblings or grandmother, and pulled on a red cloak before slipping outside into the cool night air. She trotted off in the direction of the thunderous noise, expecting to find something she'd read about in her storybooks. Maybe a crashed spaceship or some strange teleporting being? Or another lost pony experimenting with magic again?
She reached the center of the orchard and saw nothing. No signs of a crash or collision, everything seemed intact. She had been so hoping something fun would've happened. As she began her solemn walk towards the house, her tiny ears picked up on a most unfamilar sound.
"aaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAH!"
She turned around to see something slam into the ground, leaving an imprint in the dirt outlining its body shape. The creature stood up on two legs, towering over the filly as it shook its head.
"I am never pressing that button again. Any button but that one."
The stranger was tall, far taller than anything she'd ever seen. It was blue in color and its skin had a faint metallic sheen to it, or at least the parts of it that were blue. Whatever parts of it that weren't blue were instead black, save for the small circular area of orange on its head, what she assumed to be the creature's face although it had no signs of eyes, nose, or mouth. It looked around, examining its new surroundings.
"Where am I? This isn't that shiny room I was in. I wonder if Church is already here?"
The creature turned towards her and the filly saw the orange plate fix on her. Could this thing see her? Maybe it was looking at something else? She froze in place, not sure if she should stay or run.
"Oh. My. GOD!"
The decision was soon made for her as the blue being swept her up in its cold, metal arms and sat on the grass, cradling her like a newborn babe, its static-tinted voice squealing with excitement
"Oh my gosh, a pony!" the being exclaimed. He sounded as though his nose was slightly clogged. "I always wanted a pony and now I found one! I think I will call you...Fluffy! Wait, no, I called the alien that already."
"Um, excuse me?" the filly said. "Mah name's Apple Bloom."
"Other Fluffy, you can talk! You are even better than a regular pony! We should go camping!"
"Could ya put me down, first?" Apple Bloom said. "It's kinda hard to breathe when yer huggin' me."
"Oh, right! Sorry, Abbeloom."
"No, not like that." She repeated her name again, slowly. "Ap-ple. Ba-loom."
The blue being scratched his head for a moment. "Oh, I get it! Pabbel Hoom! My name is Caboose, but you can call me 'Idiot' if you want. Church usually does."
Apple Bloom buried her face in her hooves. Whatever this thing was, it needed more than a bit of help from Miss Cheerilee. The filly repeated her name one more time.
"Apple Bloom! Apple, like those!" she said as she pointed to one of the red orbs dangling from the trees. "And Bloom, like a flower!"
"Apple Flower." the blue creature replied flatly. "Your name is Apple Flower."
Apple Bloom let out a huff. "Close 'nuff, Caboose."
The small pony paced about her new acquaintance, trying to get a better look at the figure before her.
"Where's yer cutie mark?" she asked. Caboose simply stared back at her for a moment.
"What is that?"
"Y'know, yer special talent?"
"Special talent?" Caboose repeated. "Oh, I'm really good at eating ice cream! And hating Tucker."
"Tucker? There's another one of ya comin'?"
"Tucker's not here? Good! He said I couldn't have a pony, but then I found you and you're a pony! So I can have a pony!"
"No, he ain't here. But there's more of ya?"
"Church might come too if he finds the button. Can I hug you again?"
"Um...why don't we go back home? You could use a place to stay." The little filly had no idea where this massive newcomer would stay. On all fours, he probably wouldn't fit through the front door, though the barn might be big enough for him.
"Where are we?" Caboose asked as he looked around at all the apple trees. "Are we in an orchestra?"
"A what?"
"An orchestra. The place where they grow all the musical instruments?"
Apple Bloom stared at the blue being blankly. "...what? No, we're in an orchard! We grow apples, not instruments! Did ya hit yer head on somethin' when ya fell?"
He looked over at the Caboose-shaped imprint he'd left in the dirt. "No, I landed on my face."
"Well, we better get ya layin' down someplace after a fall like that. I can fix ya up in the barn fer tonight. Ya can meet my brother and sister tomorrow, okay?"
"Brother and sister? More ponies?!" Caboose stayed silent for a few seconds. "This is going to be the best party ever! Better than that party with Fluffy!"
Apple Bloom awoke the next morning to the staccato chiming of her alarm clock, and promptly shut it off before sitting up in her bed. The little filly rubbed her eyes and looked out her window at the old red barn, recalling last night's events.
"Huh, what a weird dream that was. Big blue thing droppin' outta the sky like that. Wonder what it means?"
She descended the stairs and walked into the kitchen, expecting her elder sister to be standing by with a warm apple fritter for her. Instead, she found her siblings standing by the kitchen window, their eyes wide and riveted on the barn while they talked to each other in hushed voices. Apple Bloom caught her name being mentioned in their hushed conversation and cleared her throat.
"Oh, Apple Bloom! Yer up!," said Applejack. "Lissen, don't go out to the barn, alright?"
"Why not?" Apple Bloom asked.
"Just don't go out there, alright? It ain't safe with that thing out there."
"Is it a big blue thing with an orange face that talks funny?" the filly asked. Applejack's worried expression immediately answered her question. So much for it being a dream.
"How d'ya know what's out there already, little missy?"
"I sorta...let him sleep in the barn. He's real nice, though! He won't hurt anypony!"
Applejack picked her hat up from the kitchen table. "Big Macintosh, you stay here and keep an eye on Apple Bloom. I'm gonna go out and try ta push that thing outta the barn."
"Sis, don't hurt him!" Apple Bloom called after her, but Applejack was already out the door. She started to follow her older sibling before her brother's heavy hoof landed in front of her.
"Yer stayin' here, got it?"
Applejack swallowed the lump in her throat as she approached the open barn door, the low rumble of the creature's snores echoing from within as it muttered something about cookies in its slumber. All she had to do was buck that thing out of her barn and maybe it would leave. If not, she'd buck it again. The farm pony took great care in stepping around the thing before stopping at its exposed back. She turned around and pointed her powerful legs at the center of what she assumed to be its torso. All it would take is one kick to send this blue giant out into the yard.
CLANG!
"What in tarnation?" Applejack exclaimed. She'd hit her target squarely in the back, but it hadn't budged a inch. A kick like that should've thrown anything through those doors, but this thing felt so solid, like she was trying to buck a boulder. The creature began to shift and stir, mumbling again.
"Church, tell Tucker to stop trying to wake me up."
"Hey, can ya hear me?" Applejack said. The blue being rolled over and focused its orange piece on her.
"You're not Church...ooh, you're another pony! Can I hug you?"
Applejack was completely dumbfounded. Here she was expecting this thing at least three times her size sleeping her barn to tear her to shreds, not try to give her a hug. Before she could answer, his huge blue arms wrapped around her and pulled her in close. The earth pony just sat there, unsure if she should fight this thing or just let him hug her.
"You smell like apples! Apples are nice."
"Uh...thanks?"
It wasn't long before Apple Bloom came galloping out of the farmhouse, stopping just short of the door to see a very nervous Applejack in Caboose's arms.
"Are you alright?" the little filly said.
"No, I'm not Alright. I'm Caboose." He pointed to the orange pony in his hands. "Is this Alright? Hello, Alright!"
"I'm Applejack!" the cowpony said as she squirmed about in Caboose's grip. "Could ya lighten up there a little, fella?"
Caboose relaxed his grip slightly. "You and Apple Fluffy talk like Sarge. Do you have a pirate ship?"
Applejack looked at her sister. "Not too good with names, is he?"
"I know my name!" Caboose practically shouted at her. "You can ask me if you forget."
"Noted. Now let go'a me!"
"Sorry, Applesarge!" He relaxed his grip and let Applejack wriggle out of his grasp. Apple Bloom trotted over to greet him and immediately found herself engulfed in his arms again.
"Uh, Caboose? A lil' less huggin', please?"
"But you're just so cute!" he replied. "I should take you both back to the base and show you to Church! But not Tucker, he's mean. Where is Church, anyway?"
It was Big Macintosh's turn to step into the barn and get a better look at Caboose, promptly causing the human's head to fix on him. He dropped Apple Bloom and crawled over to Mac.
"Sarge, is that you? Why are you a pony? Oh, can I be a pony too? Church said I couldn't be a cowboy."
Big Macintosh blinked a few times. "What? Son, I ain't this 'Sarge' fella."
"But you're big and red! And he's big and red! And all of you talk like him! It's like you're a whole family of Sarge ponies! And I still haven't seen your pirate ship!"
The bigger pony simply stared back at him, unsure of what he should do next.
"Well, maybe we could take ya into town?" Apple Bloom said. "I could show ya 'round, maybe get--mmph!" Apple Bloom was quickly silenced by her elder sister's hoof being stuffed into her mouth.
"That's mighty kind of ya, Apple Bloom, but I feel that...Caboose, right? Caboose should stay here."
"Yay! You know my name!" Caboose shouted. "You're a nice girl!"
"Apple Bloom, you stay here and keep playin' with Caboose, alright? I gotta go..uh...run a few errands. Try to keep him in the barn."
"My aunt always told that to my mom," Caboose said. "Why can't I come outside? Can we go play in the orchestra?"
"The what?" said Applejack.
"Long story, sis. Can I invite Sweetie Belle and Scootaloo over too? They'd love to meet him!"
"Well, I dunno..."
Apple Bloom looked up at her sister with her big orange eyes and a pout on her face. "Puh-leeeeeease?"
"Alright, fine," her elder sister snorted. "But I don't want y'all leavin' the farm, got it?"
Applejack immediately took off, not for town but for Fluttershy's cottage. If anypony could tell her about what exactly Caboose was, it'd be her. Getting her to meet the blue giant would be something completely different.
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Interesting concept. I didn't notice anything to off about the grammar, but I'm not the best at spotting those out. As for how you characterized Caboose, I feel you did ok, but I feel you sort of overplay he's idiocy a bit to much. I don't really know how to adequately describe it right now for lack of sleep over the past few days and not having watched much RvB recently. I'll be dropping this into my 'read later' folder to keep a watch for it.
688822
fumaga.com/i/curses-foiled-again-hawk.jpg
Hmmm.. anyways! Looking good so far.. Can't really complain, spelling seems alright.. grammar.. characters seem to be in order.. etc etc.
Is it so bucking HARD to make paragraphs? every 3 or 4 lines or when a character says something leave 1 space.
Also, the story is nice but feels a bit rushed.
688864 GRAMMAR NAZI!!!!!!!!!!!
This is pretty good, Caboose was always my favorite, so seeing him interact with the pony's without the jerks is pretty nice.
CABOOSE!!! DAFUQ DID YOU DO?!
I'm liking this! Why? It's Red vs. Blue! And it's Caboose!
Remember season ten has already started and keep an eye on roosterteeth.com for new updates.
*Spoiler 'Flashbacks'
Great story by the way.
Dis is the best red v blue fanfic ever caboose should meet and
Reading this for sure.. also, it seems we have advertisers now...
688849 The few people I had read it before I released it thought he was dumb enough. And if you think about it, trying to figure out Caboose's logic is, well, next to impossible.
688964 Yeah, I wanted to use the Epsilon unit but by the time I actually got started on this, Season 10 had started. So I played the Bungie BS card and used Slipspace as an excuse.
688864 Personally, I can't stand line breaks in between lines of dialogue or paragraphs. At least, that's because I was never taught to use them except to denote passage of time. I suppose it would be easier if Red vs. Blue wasn't so dialogue heavy to begin with. I'll keep that in mind!
688822 You watched that PSA, didn't you?
689394nope
689394nope
689394 i love this story this is the funniest caboose story even better than what caboose did on his summer vacation with noble team
689502 Funny, I watched that while I wrote this.
I have to say, I'm impressed with how you nailed Caboose. Every time I read him saying something, I can hear his voice in my head. Interesting read. I hope to see more of this in the future.
689525 I had QUITE a few of my friends read this more than once before I released it.
688912 YOU SHALL BURN IN FIRE GRAMMAR-HATER!!!
689392
"I think I just got dumped by Caboose. This unfucking believeable!"
WHAT NONE OF THE OTHER GUYS, aww man that sucks! good story though.
690000 I might try to throw them in later.
Nice story, very nice to see a Caboose who actually stays in character, and doesn't seem to breaks the laws of equestria at the same time. Thumbs for that! I'd imagine this is applejack's face about two minutes after talking with him Can't wait fer more
I thought Cabooses special talent was team kill?
690861 I'm not entirely sure if Caboose knows he's teamkilling. Plus, can't have him killing ponies without pushing it to a Dark rating, now can we?
690617 I'd imagine that few ponies would have the patience for Caboose's logic.
691127
True but they're not on his team. they're like fluffy the alien. besides there's always the respawn factor.
This kinda reminds me of my little caboose blue is magic
692543 I've drawn more than a little inspiration from My Little Caboose, but I simply wanted to see how things would play out if Caboose remained human. While I dislike the short length of MLC's chapters, the characterizations of the Blues and Reds are dead on!
Caboose is always good for a laugh, though I'd like to see how Church would react to all of this.
more please
695401 I think I can work something out with Simmons and Church to make that happen.
701700
That ought to be good.
Caboose would be great friends with Pinkie Pie. :)
On an unrelated side note, will you do more?
723112 Slowly, but definitely yes! I've got school to balance and a few other stories I'm in the process of writing.
724487 THERE IS A GOD AFTER ALL! MORE STORIES ARE ON THE WAY!
WANT MOAR WHEN DAFUQ R PART 2 COME OUT??!?!?
731221 I'm actually working on it right now If all goes well, it should be up this evening or tomorrow afternoon.
731228 oh. that's fortunate.
All of those references to pirate ships were gold, especially with Caboose's voice in my head.
Caboose in Eqestria... . This can't end well!
695401 What the fuck is going on here or something to that effect
I don't even....
Who is this "Caboose", they're in another crossover story, and why do they act "special".
I'm not entirely sold of Caboose being completely in character, but I suppose he really needs the other RvB guys to bounce off... but regardless of that, this is already very amusing!
My favorite line,
"My name is Caboose, but you can call me 'Idiot' if you want. Church usually does."
You know what's awesome, the people at RoosterTeeth(the company that made RvB)are bronies.BROHOOF!
Doing an amazing job!
I was wondering if Donut or Grif will come in eventually? I really hope another person from RvB comes in
838777 Im not so sure all of em are,but i know michael from ragequit is.
someone.....wrote a caboose in equestria fanfic!
very interestin at the lest