Wow this is really well written. If it keeps going like this I think it'll be a worthy sequel. Right away I like the plot point of the SPP being broke somehow and it causing the snow instead of some sort of excursion to the Frozen North. Not saying the Frozen North is a bad idea, but this kinda caught me by surprise. The fact that the other two elements are still missing is sure to be interesting as well, maybe Faith being one? Who knows, we don't know much about her yet. Anyway you've caught my attention and I'm really REALLY looking forward to seeing more. Keep up the great work.
Writing's good and the premise seems solid. As 4220876 said, the idea that the frozen aspect of the wasteland was caused by a glitchy SPP system is unique.
This colossal machine was the ultimatum of the Ministry of Arcane Science's head, Twilight Sparkle,
You might want to change that to something like "ultimate work", since an ultimatum is defined as:
ul·ti·ma·tum 1. A final statement of terms made by one party to another. 2. A statement, especially in diplomatic negotiations, that expresses or implies the threat of serious penalties if the terms are not accepted.
I understand where you're coming from, and while I agree, what I am implying is that it was an unspoken final offer to both sides of the war, should they take the conflict to new heights. Which they did. Although if you think otherwise still, please say so! I enjoy ALL feedback.
Just one question: how does the whole mother-thing works. As far as I understand, Faith is Pip's daughter of some kind, she refers to her and Homage as "mother". But how does that work? I don't recall Homage or Pip being pregnant/the later giving birth to anything. If Pip would be a stallion, that might work, but that way... I like the idea of the story, but could you explain to me how Faith is connected to Little Pip and Homage? That would be nice.
I would love to explain to you how the logic of that works, but that is planned to be included in the first chapter anyway. Since its not a huge plot point, it comes down the mechanics of the SPP, surrogacy spells, scientific creation of life and something similar to Project Chimera from Project Horizons.
I love this. Kkat approved and the writing seems pretty good. Still too early to judge really since it's the prologue, but I hope the chapters are long and frequent.
As a Littlepip lover this pleases me. Pls keep on this ;~;
Don't worry, I'm gonna be working hard after School ends.
Also, at the moment, the first chapter is estimated 5k words to begin with, though that is subject to change. Either way, I'll make sure to extend chapters as I get the story played out in my head.
Comment posted by Jaz Millenium deleted May 14th, 2014
Comment posted by Jaz Millenium deleted May 14th, 2014
Comment posted by TheGypsyBard deleted Jun 8th, 2014
Curious hope lil pip is alright
This... this could be big...
Kkat is a girl? neat
Dear God. I love you, author.
Wow this is really well written. If it keeps going like this I think it'll be a worthy sequel. Right away I like the plot point of the SPP being broke somehow and it causing the snow instead of some sort of excursion to the Frozen North. Not saying the Frozen North is a bad idea, but this kinda caught me by surprise. The fact that the other two elements are still missing is sure to be interesting as well, maybe Faith being one? Who knows, we don't know much about her yet. Anyway you've caught my attention and I'm really REALLY looking forward to seeing more. Keep up the great work.
My curiosity is piqued.
Writing's good and the premise seems solid. As 4220876 said, the idea that the frozen aspect of the wasteland was caused by a glitchy SPP system is unique.
I'll be very interested to see where this goes.
Wow, pretty good start. I have been wondering when someone would take the steps to make the FOE 2.
Good luck and keep it coming.
Interesting. Let us see where this goes. Good luck.
By the way your story was added to the Falout Equestria Group by G-Man64! Feel free to PM me if you have any questions!
You might want to change that to something like "ultimate work", since an ultimatum is defined as:
4222739
Well, she already stated (several times ) that she would NOT be adding onto the story, writing a sequel, or anything like that. #MajorFan :P
4224714
I was similar, 'cept it was the picture I'm using as cover art.
(Which I got permission for! )
4227978
I understand where you're coming from, and while I agree, what I am implying is that it was an unspoken final offer to both sides of the war, should they take the conflict to new heights. Which they did. Although if you think otherwise still, please say so! I enjoy ALL feedback.
Just one question: how does the whole mother-thing works. As far as I understand, Faith is Pip's daughter of some kind, she refers to her and Homage as "mother". But how does that work? I don't recall Homage or Pip being pregnant/the later giving birth to anything. If Pip would be a stallion, that might work, but that way...
I like the idea of the story, but could you explain to me how Faith is connected to Little Pip and Homage? That would be nice.
4237213
I would love to explain to you how the logic of that works, but that is planned to be included in the first chapter anyway. Since its not a huge plot point, it comes down the mechanics of the SPP, surrogacy spells, scientific creation of life and something similar to Project Chimera from Project Horizons.
In short: Magic
ITS TIME FOR MORE SHIPP-I mean reading ^-^
Wait I don't remember going into the SPP pod being permanent, good so far
4325780
It's not literally permanent, but Littlepip would need to focus on the weather and keep it running smoothly 24/7.
SPP broke...soooo, did LittlePip get out? Was she trapped and became a pony-popsicle?
4381917
Sorry, you'll get no spoilers from me.
4383046
Ah, so it was intentionally left unmentioned. I'm now curious to see where this one goes.
After I get the last few FO:E chapters out of the way
4385642
If you haven't read the original yet:
BACK. AWAY. SLOWLY.
Go read the story.
THEN
Come back.
I love this. Kkat approved and the writing seems pretty good. Still too early to judge really since it's the prologue, but I hope the chapters are long and frequent.
As a Littlepip lover this pleases me. Pls keep on this ;~;
4386779
Don't worry, I'm gonna be working hard after School ends.
Also, at the moment, the first chapter is estimated 5k words to begin with, though that is subject to change. Either way, I'll make sure to extend chapters as I get the story played out in my head.
Just finished the first book and im still kinda rejuvenating but ill read here we go