Rainbow Dash's Nightmare

by There Is Nothing Here

The Nightmare Begins

My name... is Rainbow Dash. Yesterday, I was living a normal peaceful life with my friends. But now, all of it has been taken from me, my home, my friends, my life. I wander this frozen, dark abandoned wasteland, in search of something that will lead to me to how and why this has happened. When I was just a filly, I would have nightmares. Somebody would speak to me, warning me of this. I ignored it, assuming it would all pass in time.... I was wrong.

"Hey Pinkie Pie!" Rainbow Dash said as she greeted the energetic pink pony.

"Hi Rainbow Dash!" Pinkie said as she hopped towards Sugar Cube Corner.

It was a nice morning. The sun was out and there were no clouds in sight. Rainbow Dash proceeded to walk through Ponyville, she was too tired this morning to fly. Something had kept her awake last night, she couldn't fathom what it was, she just couldn't sleep. It was a good thing there were no clouds so she didn't have to clear them. As she walked around Ponyville searching for something to do, she noticed Scootaloo and Applebloom running up and down the streets. She asked Scootaloo what was wrong.

"Sweetie Belle has gone missing," Scootaloo said.

"We been runnin up n' down Ponyville searchin for her, but we ain't had no luck. We ast' around and no pony had seen her anywhere" Applebloom said.

They both seemed really worried, Applebloom was almost at the point of crying. Even Scootaloo, the strong headed filly, even looked exhausted.

"Thats terrible," Rainbow Dash uttered, "Does Rarity know about this?"

"No, we tried to tell her but no pony opened the door when we knocked. We figured she was still sleeping, you know how that pony is always obsessing over her beauty sleep," Scootaloo said rolling her eyes.

"Well girls, I'll help you find Sweetie Belle," Rainbow Dash said confidently.

Rainbow Dash, Applebloom and Scootaloo searched all of Ponyville. Absolutely no pony had seen Sweetie Belle. Rarity came charging through the streets.

"Where is my darling sister Sweetie Belle!" Rarity said with a worried look in her eyes.

"We don't know. We been searchin for hours and there ain't been no sight o' her," Applebloom said.

Rarity began to cry, her little sister had disappeared and no pony knew where she was. News spread through Ponyville, and massive search parties were sent around Equestria to find the little filly. The cyan pegasus decided that she would be the one brave enough to search the Everfree Forest. As she walked toward the forest a wind began to pick up. Then Rainbow Dash began to hear a very faint voice in the wind. It sounded... like... like Sweetie Belle!

"It.... is.... coming......" The pegasus jumped up, obviously frightened. She rushed back to Ponyville to tell every pony what she heard.

No pony believed her. Every pony told her to go home and nap, she was just hearing things. She hadn't gotten a lot of sleep, Rainbow figured she was just hearing things. She slowly trotted home, hopefully she would get some sleep tonight and everything would be ok in the morning. Dash woke up the next morning and she felt fine. She rushed to Rarity's house too see if they had found Sweetie Belle. Rarity wasn't home. She asked around Ponyville to see if any pony had seen her white coated friend. Rarity was at Ponyville Hospital.

"Why in Equestria would she be at the hospital?" Rainbow asked to herself.

She flew over to Ponyville hospital to see Rarity. Rarity was in one of the hospital rooms, kneeling over her sister, Sweetie Belle.

"Sweetie Belle!" Rainbow said as she walked over to the battered filly.

She was bruised and cut all over her body, and she was shaking vigorously. He lavender mane had turned a dark red and black color.

"What happened, Sweetie Belle," Rainbow asked.

Sweetie Belle did not reply. Her mouth moved but no sounds came out.

"She was found near the edge of the Everfree Forest last night, after you left" Sweetie Belle's traumatized sister said with a tear in her eye.

After a few days Sweetie Belle recovered and life in Ponyville returned to normal. Sweetie Belle was asked about what happened to her. All she remembered was that she fell asleep one night, and woke up in the Everfree Forest in a lot of pain. As she exited the forest she collapsed.

I thought it was just a random freaky event. No pony knew what happened, or who would do such a thing to Sweetie Belle. There were absolutely no clues, so the investigation was called off. It wasn't just a random event, it was a sign. A sign that the worst, was still yet to come.

Life in Ponyville returned to normal after Sweetie Belle returned. In fact, everything was completely perfect. Sweet Apple acres had an amazing Applebuck season, with tons of apples to keep all of the ponies happy. Not a single problem sparked...

One day... 4 months after the Sweetie Belle incident

"Good morning Tank," Rainbow Dash said as she was greeted by her pet Tortoise.

She proceeded to fly off and practice some new flying techniques. Normally, Fluttershy would enjoy watching Rainbow try out her new moves, but she wasn't home when Rainbow Dash arrived. She figured that Fluttershy was out and she would meet with her later. Rainbow spent the day flying around Ponyville, testing new moves and pulling pranks on ponies as they walked by. She noticed Fluttershy slowly walking towards her house. She landed to say hello.

"Hi Fluttershy. What's going on I haven't seen you all day."

Fluttershy didn't respond, she just kept walking.

"Is something wrong Fluttershy?" Rainbow asked trying to find out what was wrong with her friend.

"It's nothing... it's just.... I couldn't sleep last night. It was weird, nothing out of the ordinary happened, I just couldn't sleep."

Rainbow Dash was confused now, the same thing had happened to her right before Sweetie Belle,

"Oh no," she thought. "Uhmm.. ok Fluttershy, hope you sleep better tonight. Gotta Dash!" Rainbow said nervously as she flew off.

"This isn't good," she thought. "Ok Rainbow, get it together, nothings gonna happen... everything will be just fine..."

Everything wasn't going to be fine. The next morning... that... that was the day where and when the end began.

Rainbow Dash woke up the next morning, but something was different. It was morning time, but it was a lot darker than usual. Rainbow proceeded to clear some of the clouds to make the morning brighter. It was fruitless, the black clouds reformed, covering Ponyville in thick dusk. She landed and went to see Twilight, it didn't seem possible to her than clouds could instantly reform like that. Only Twilight would have the answer. As she walked into the library, it seemed quiet and dreary. She walked up the steps to meet her purple braniac friend. Instead, what she saw was dark red bloodstains covering Twilight's bed. The stains led halfway across the room, then ended suddenly. They were in the shape of circles, hoof prints to be exact. On Twilight's bed there was a small piece piece of paper. On it there were a few words written. "We warned you....." As Rainbow Dash read the note a black shadow rushed out of the note and through Rainbow Dash's face. She fell to the ground unconscious. When she woke up there was a picture on the ceiling... a picture of a pony. It was Rarity, the picture was bloodstained and torn.

Rainbow knew this meant Rarity was in trouble as well. She rushed to Rarity's house and knocked on the door. Rarity opened the door,

"Rainbow, what are you doing here?" Rarity said softly. She had obviously just woken up.

"Rarity your never going to believe this! Twilight..." the cyan coated pegasus didn't get a chance to finish her sentence.

As she said that, a black shadow rose up from the floor and dragged Rarity down into a small dark hole in the floor. Rainbow was shocked, at what she had just witnessed. Her friend Rarity, just dragged into a dark hole of death and despair, just like Twilight. Rainbow turned around... and her heart nearly stopped. What she was looking at was unreal. The black clouds that filled the sky were now pouring down dark shadows. Ponies everywhere were being dragged down into a black abyss. Rainbow flew into town, trying to save ponies from this chaos. Her efforts were in vain, she watched as Pinkie, Fluttershy, Applejack, Scootaloo, Sweetie Belle, Applebloom, and every other pony was dragged down into the abyss. As the black hole started to close Rainbow tried to rush in, in a desperate attempt to save her friends. It closed, and Rainbow was left alone in an abandoned dark Equestria. All she saw was a dark sky and the ruins of Ponyville. A voice appeared in the wind

"Ahaha, poor Rainbow Dash, left alone in Equestria. Now we can't have that can we?" Almost instantly a dark shadow grabbed Rainbows legs and pulled her under, into the dark void.

Rainbow Dash passed out when she was dragged under. She awoke, in a dark frozen wasteland.

"Uggh where am I," the pegasus was confused and she had a headache.

"What is this place.." Dash said.

The sky was dark and the ground was freezing cold, it was entirely frozen. It didn't even look like there was soil or anything underneath it. She stood up and began to walk. She saw a figure in the distance... it looked like... like Fluttershy! She rushed toward her. When she got there, she witnessed the most horrific thing that she could have never even dreamed of. Fluttershy turned around. Her hair slumped down straight, she was bruised, cut and oozing blood from all over her. She turned around, and Dash nearly fainted. Fluttershy, her eye sockets empty, her mouth set in the scariest creepy smile.

"Hi Rainbow Dash....." Her voice echoed... "Your eyes.... you look tired, let me fix that for you," Fluttershy said as she slowly walked toward Rainbow Dash.

"G.. Get away from me," Rainbow Dash stuttered, backing away.

"Oh come on.. Dashie, I just want to help... come now.. don't be afraid.. it's me Fluttershy..." Rainbow turned around and flew away as fast as she could. She looked behind her and Fluttershy was gone, she looked ahead of her and there she was, waiting.

"You can't escape me Rainbow Dash... You're my friend and I'll follow you forever....."

Fluttershy grabbed Rainbow Dash. She struggled to get free, but it was useless, Fluttershy's grip was too tight. Fluttershy pinned the defensless pony to the ground and picked up a sharp ice shard from the
floor.

Rainbow squirmed to the left and right, trying to get the deranged pony off of her. She used her back leg and and kicked Fluttershy off of her.

"Oh no... that's not very friendly off you Rainbow Dash. Come now.. don't be difficult. Just give in.... it'll all be over soon..." Rainbow instantly flew up and bolted away.

"I'll find you Rainbow Dash.... you can't escape."

Rainbow Dash finally landed, needing to take a rest. "This can't be happening," Rainbow said.

"If Fluttershy is like that, what could have happened to the rest of my friends.

"Well why don't you find out..." A black shadow came and grabbed Rainbow Dash and pulled her into yet another dark abyss.

She was left in a small dark room. Then 5 lights turned on. Under each of them was one of her friends. Then a 6th light turned on. The light was dim and the figure under it was still impossible to see.

"Hi Rainbow Dash...." Fluttershy said. Rainbow looked in horror at her friends.

They had all fallen to the same fate as Fluttershy.

"Now Rainbow Dash, I'm sure you are wondering what's going on," the figure under the 6th light said.

"Yea... What did you do to my friends, more importantly, why are you doing this!" Rainbow said, trying to be strong.

"Why am I doing this? You shall find that out when I am ready to tell you. When I look into your face, I see your trying to be strong, you're not. I've tortured you to the point where you're as weak as Fluttershy once was. I saw how scared you were when you saw Fluttershy. Right now, what you are experiencing, is a never ending nightmare. You and all of Equestria will remain here forever. But this is your nightmare, I am feeding off of your fear. Every pony in Equestria has fallen the same fate as your friends. You, Rainbow Dash will now live in this world of darkness and fear. All because, I feel a pure deep dark hatred for everything. I decided to torture every pony the same way you are being tortured at this very moment. This.. is nothing but a nightmare, that you and every pony in Equestria is being forced to see. The 5 ponies beside me are not real, simply illusions that I am using to torture you. But, I have had a change of heart."

".......What...do you mean," the terrified pegasus said, holding back tears in her eyes.

"I will release Equestria from this nightmare, they will not have to witness this chain of horrific events. However you must stay in the frozen wasteland with these 5 illusions of your friends. You will remain there, until the day you die. Until that day, my illusions of Fluttershy, Twilight, Applejack, Pinkie Pie and Rarity, will hunt you down. They will not kill you, they will torture you nonstop, until you collapse on the floor and never move again. What do you say. Because if not this nightmare will continue, and it will envelop all of Equestria, until all hope for the pony future is lost."

"Why.. why me. Why is it me that you want?!" Rainbow said, crying hard.

"You were the closest to solving this mystery. I have other reasons, but in due time you shall figure out why. Sweetie Belle almost had too, her spirit was too strong to be broken. So I wiped her memory and dropped her in the Everfree Forest. You have shown the most resistance to this nightmare. You were the last to be enveloped by it. That, my dear Rainbow Dash is why you will remain here. The choice is up to you, and I would hurry and make my decision if I were you."

"...Ok...I'll do it, As long as Equestria is safe from the hell you've hidden here," Rainbow Dash said bravely.

"A smart choice, all memory of you and of Sweetie Belle's disappearance, and of the black cloud storm that enveloped Equestria will all be erased. Nobody will remember you or anything else, like it never happened. GOODBYE RAINBOW DASH!" Everything went black.

Rainbow Dash awoke, in the same frozen wasteland she had before. She found a small ice shard on the ground and began to carve a message into the ice...

My name... is Rainbow Dash. Yesterday, I was living a normal peaceful life with my friends. But now, all of it has been taken from me, my home, my friends, my life. I wander this frozen, dark abandoned wasteland, in search of something that will lead to me to how and why this has happened. When I was just a filly, I would have nightmares. Somebody would speak to me, warning me of this. I ignored it, assuming it would all pass in time.... I was wrong

If any pony else is enveloped in this nightmare, know that I am out there somewhere, running and surviving.

Comments

[R-B-D]

Alright, constructive critisism on the way:

Try adding whitelines between dialogue and descriptions. Now it kind of creates a vast wall of text which makes it unpleasant to read. Also adding whitelines between different characters speaking adds to readability.

Try to not repeat the same word all the time. You keep adressing every character with the same name over and over again. It's boring to read the same word all the time. Instead of ''Rainbow Dash'', you could say ''Cyan coated pegasus'' or something other descriptive of her outward appearance.

As to the story itself:
-The villain has no real motive
-What makes Rainbow Dash so special that she is to be living a nightmare?
-Doesn't the fact that the villain tells RD it's all an illusionated world kind of makes the entire 'Run away'-part unnecessary? She also got told the illusions aren't going to harm her, just haunt her. It kind of defeats the whole purpose of being on the run?

Other than that, your writing on it's own is pretty good, I'd say. I know I'm not the best criticist, but I hope you can use these tips/insights.

[Summer30]

Upon reading this story, the plot sounds great. It also sounds like a story that Rainbow Dash enjoyed reading herself.

I noticed a few things-

The first is that you might want to sort out your story by putting spaces between the characters speaking and write their dialogue and actions together in a small or short paragraphs.

I also noted that you wrote "Ubsessed," which should be spelled as "Obessed."

Otherwise, this is a great start to a story with a good suspenseful plot and I plan on keep reading it.

[There Is Nothing Here]

369049 I see where your coming from and after reading it over i do say myself that separating the dialogue would make it easier to understand. And i'm sorry I left a lot of it unexplained. I had planned to unveal why Rainbow Dash is his target and what his real motives were in the next chapter. But thanks for your advice :D

[There Is Nothing Here]

369049 also (forgot to add) the point of the illusions of her friends were not supposed to kill her for a reason. This evil villains wants Rainbow Dash to be tortured, not killed. All she can do is run away from them in this dark abandoned world which is torture by itself. And as you saw what Fluttershy was trying to do to Rainbow that was a general idea of what the illusions would be doing to Rainbow, but the point was no matter what THEY did to her she could not die. She could only die naturally, to me that seemed like the ultimate form of torture.

[Summer30]

Wow, this is a very sad story, imagine giving up your life like that too?