Title: Out in Ponyville
Author: Shatterpath (shatterpath@shatterstorm.net)
Fandom: My Little Pony: Friendship is Magic
Rating: PG, but barely even that.
Pairings: Applejack/Twilight Sparkle, aka Applesparkle
Characters: The mane six, pretty much every repeating secondary character and even a few originals!
Date Written: August 2011. Finalized in October.
Word Count: 16k and change. I say that because I keep changing it! As of the final edit, I have a count of 16,682. Nice!
Summary: What lies beyond friendship? A confession starts a whole new chapter for my favorite couple!
Warnings: Eeek, ponyfluff! Be afraid, be very afraid.
Spoilers: Season One! Canon events and information of Season Two don't exist. Hell, I actively contradict some of it! Deal.
Archive: ShatterStorm Productions only; all others ask for permission & we'll see.
Author’s Disclaimer: "My Little Pony: Friendship is Magic", the characters and situations depicted are the property of Lauren Faust, Hasbro Studios, Studio B Productions, and The Hub. This piece of fan fiction was created for entertainment not monetary purposes. Previously unrecognized characters and places, and this story, are copyrighted to the author. Any similarity to real persons, living or dead, is coincidental and not intended by the author. (Is it just me or does this sentence seem completely silly?) This site is in no way affiliated with "My Little Pony: Friendship is Magic", The Hub, or any representatives of the actors.
Dedication: To the fans in Ariestess' circle of friends who got us to watch in the first place! I can't tell you how long it's been since I've written something this long.
Beta: Geekgrrllurking (for the quick one over) and Ariestess (for the real nuts and bolts work!).
Special thanks to the following artists: EllisPONY at Deviant Art for the magnificently inspiring drawings of the family at Sweet Apple Acres.
Sweet Apple Acre girls: http://tinyurl.com/3e75oxa
And the boys: http://tinyurl.com/3je8hfj
As well as this insanely cute family shot: http://tinyurl.com/3t2pvt8
And to Mn27 for this wonderful inspiration: http://tinyurl.com/3zuj8sl
But this is the best 'couple' shot EVER. From RustedRabbit, who was also kind enough to give me permission to use it as my header: http://tinyurl.com/3tehvt4
Notes: This was fun! I have to admit that I never in a million years expected to get sucked in by this show, but it is completely addicting. It's all your fault norabombay! The Weird Al polka party remixes with Pony footage on YouTube are a hell of an intro... Anyway, back to the story. Now, as much as some might want something adult in this genre, I have to admit that I couldn't get my mind around it. Really, the semantics of it were just too much for me. So, yes, this is merely sweet and loving and mushy as hell. (Stop making that face, Spike. It might freeze that way.) Applejack is my personal favorite of the six, as I have tons in common with the personality. I examined the rest of the ponies and concluded that the best match was Twilight. I know there are some that will be baffled that I didn't see her with Dash, but any relationship based on competition isn't healthy in my book. Exciting maybe, but not healthy. I wanted to set up as realistic a romance as I could, because I love a good challenge! I did my best to stay in the tone of the show, without the cartoon silliness (which I love, but cannot write to save my life) and there will be a hefty sequel which was already percolating not even halfway through this one!
Oh, and this is written in 1st person and every chapter changes point of view, so keep an eye out.
Chapter One
++ Rarity ++
I pride myself in being an excellent observer of the pony condition. After all, how is one supposed to be a fashion expert without fully understanding the soul within? Clothing should reflect the pony and who do I know better than my friends? Sweet, spring-like Fluttershy and bouncy, silly Pinkie Pie; brash Rainbow Dash; studious, powerful Twilight Sparkle… and Applejack.
Honestly, I have the strangest relationship with that mare. We’ve been peers our entire lives, a somewhat contentious on and off again friendship as much a part of our lives as the families we were born into. Thank goodness for that nearly disastrous slumber party forced upon us by Twilight Sparkle! That seems to have finally brought us around to seeing eye to eye. And, in the end, all three of us did have a wonderful time.
Come to think of it, I’ve barely seen Applejack since that fateful night. That’s odd, since I know the harvest is over. I know this because I actually helped! Really, that stubborn mule of a pony needn’t have nearly killed herself rather than ask for help bringing in the apple crop. Even if it made a terrible mess of my mane and tail! Not to mention the state of my ponicure! Oh well, it was worth it. Besides, I had the pleasure of flirting with that handsome, if rough, brother of hers.
So where has Applejack been these last couple of weeks? Surely Big Mackintosh’s ribs have healed up enough that he doesn’t need his sister’s babying. And I would swear that I spotted their parents just the other day. One can’t miss as elegant a pony as Pink Lady!
A sudden flurry of snow sends the few walkers scrambling indoors. Odd, I don't remember hearing from the pegasi that there was a storm scheduled. Shivering, I move to retreat into the warmth of my shop, but wait… someone is still out there in the sudden wild wind. Is that Applejack? What in Equestria is that mad pony doing? She’s not dressed for the cold or the rising wind and she’s… skulking? What is this, some sort of bizarre new game with Rainbow Dash? Perhaps some sort of cabin fever?
Well then, no time like the present to save a mad pony from herself! In an economical flurry of movement, I have activated my unicorn magic to float over my fabulous winter gear and quickly gallop out the door. Now where has Applejack gone? She was headed west, towards Sugarcube Corner, so that is where I will begin my search. The sweet shop is packed with chattering ponies, all escaping the sudden cold. Well Mr. and Mrs. Cake will certainly do amazing business today! Spotting a very busy Pinkie Pie at the counter, I wiggle through the crowd to smile at my earth pony pal. “Hello, Pinkie.”
“Hey, Rarity,” she replies with unusual gravity for a personality that is normally as bubbly and happy as her candy-pink coloring and curly mane. Obviously, the shop is even busier than I thought.
“Have you see Applejack come in here?”
For a moment, Pinkie Pie pauses in her work to look thoughtful. “No. Actually, I don’t think I’ve seen Applejack in a long time. Tell her howdy McHowdy when you find her.”
That’s that then; time to take the hunt elsewhere. Now, if I were Applejack, where would I be headed? Oh right, as if I have a clue how that mad mare thinks. Oh well, Twilight lives west of here, she can be my next stop.
There is something delightfully bracing about this weather, the first true harbinger of winter. Could Applejack simply be out for a walk? No, that would not explain the skulking. I maintain that something odd is going on. In moments, I have arrived at the well and spot my quarry… and things get even odder. Applejack is plopped down on her haunches with forelegs crossed on the lip of the well, chin resting on them while she stares moodily at… the library?
Is she still feeling badly about Twilight's slumber party that we almost ruined with our bad behavior? I still feel sheepish about that. Or the insanity of a lone earth pony trying to bring in the entire apple harvest herself? Honestly, I still cannot fathom what on earth Applejack was thinking, working herself half dead before asking for help. Ah well, I can understand that she is more accustomed to being the one helping, not being helped. If my guesses about her mental state are correct, why would she have not spoken to one of us about her feelings? Why sit in the snow and mope? Beneath a nearby awning is a table and chairs where I can sit like a civilized pony and ponder my friend’s bizarre behavior. What could have even this uncouth agriculturist sulking with her rump in the gathering snow? While staring at the library? Instead of speaking with our newest pal that actually lives in said library? After all, I know for certain that Twilight is not at all irritated with Applejack. None of us are. Why is she isolating herself? Really, this group of friends makes me feel like a herdmother some days. Though, if anyone would internalize, it would be Applejack. And, well, perhaps Rainbow Dash.
Applejack hasn’t moped like this since we graduated from secondary herd school, and we were all prone to melodramatics back then. Thankfully, we’ve all outgrown that… mostly. Though a pony certainly wouldn’t know it looking at Applejack right now. The flaxen tail has twitched through the powdery snowflakes in an attempt to warm a flank and obscures the trio of bright red apples that is her cutie mark. The expression on her face is positively… lovesick.
Scattered memories make my eyes narrow thoughtfully, but now is the time for action, not over thinking. Trotting soundlessly through the snow, I smile when Applejack startles violently enough to nearly knock herself over. “Oh, uh, hi, Rarity, hi,” she stammers, barely able to meet my eye. Her expression goes puzzled when I grasp my lush, heavy indigo scarf to expertly drape it over the orange-furred withers.
“You’ll catch your death.”
“Mmm.”
The wordless response does not surprise me; after all, Applejack is hardly the most loquacious of ponies. Wincing with distaste, I tuck my tail up to protect my pristine white hide and gingerly lower my rump to sit beside her. Applejack stares at me like I’ve lost my mind and I can hardly blame her. Doing something messy like sitting in wet snow is not at all in character for me; nor is holding my tongue. I feel that waiting her out is the best course of action for now. After a moment, I give her a shoulder nudge and smile out of the corner of my eye, delighting when she smiles back. It only flashes across her features for a moment before that far-off melancholy returns, but it tells me my silent offer of support has been accepted.
A seemingly long time passes in the cold, though we are thankfully mostly protected from the bitter wind by the surrounding buildings. The only pony movement is the flutter of manes and scarves and one golden-orange hoof drawing distracted patterns in the snow. Applejack breaks her silence mere moments before I am ready to throw in the proverbial towel.
“So, I uh…” she mumbles and I have to strain to hear her over the elements. “Ah’m… havin’ some… troubles.”
Wisely, I maintain my silence and placidly meet her almost accusing glare. Considering our checkered history, I suppose I can hardly blame her for expecting some sort of tart response. Once Applejack is assured of my neutrality and acceptance of the situation, she again returns her longing gaze to the library, grown obscured by the snow. Time passes again and I stifle impatience and remind myself of our recent closer friendship ans that it is valuable enough to suffer for. At least for a little bit.
“Fillies ain’t supposed to like fillies.”
What a strange thing to say out of the blue like that. Okay, Rarity, time to buck up and live up to being the Element of Generosity. What could she possibly mean by that statement? Fillies aren’t supposed to like fillies. I turn that over and over in my mind as I note that she’s grown very tense beside me. Clearly, much rides on this interaction and I am afraid that I may be misreading the script. I must be careful or send this recalcitrant mule back into her shell.
She’s still staring at the library.
Oh.
Oh!
I just can't resist teasing her just the teeniest bit and slyly eye my nervous friend out of the corner of my eye. “You have a crush on the new girl.”
Green eyes wide, Applejack’s head shoots up and she stares at me in abject horror. “I do not! I... I...”
Swallowing my smile, I raise a placating hoof. “Oh, stop fussing, you great, silly thing. Twilight is interesting and completely unlike anypony who has ever come to live in Ponyville. If there was ever a pretty little filly who could finally drag your recalcitrant heart from its dark barn, it would be an exotic treat like our new pal.”
I have never before seen Applejack so utterly slack-jawed with shock before and it is truly hilarious. Since this would be an unforgivable, insensitive time to laugh, I fight down my amusement and merely smirk. Again, Applejack’s expression turns accusing and I dearly hope that I am not wrong about this.
“You ain’t surprised by this.”
Secretly, I’m relieved that my educated guess is apparently correct, or at least close to the mark. “Oh please, Applejack. I’ve known you since we were itty bitty foals, opposite as could be, and we’ve still managed to stay mostly friendly over the years. No, I never consciously noted that you liked fillies more than colts, but frankly, it was never something I gave any thought to.”
That softens her up a bit, the tense muscles relaxing now that I have proven to be trustworthy. “Yeah, okay, that’s fair. Never gave you any real cause to wonder. Never gave myself real cause to wonder, not seriously anyhow.” She pauses and the sweetest smile spreads over the pretty muzzle, crinkling up the little freckle spots on her cheeks. Awww, lovesick Applejack is one of the cutest things I’ve ever witnessed. “I’ve had crushes before, but not in years, not really. The farm keeps me so busy that I ignore bein’ alone with no one to love.”
Cringing from the heartfelt confession, Applejack collapses to the wet ground and throws both forelegs over her eyes. Oh, how part of me wants to tease as she’s so adorably pathetic, but I absolutely will not. Instead, I give her a friendly nudge and say sincerely, “She would be lucky to have you.”
“Who would?”
Heart racing in surprise from the unexpected voice and nearly getting my head knocked off as Applejack rears up, I jerk around to see the very pony we have been speaking of eyeing us quizzically.
Oh, this should be interesting…
“Oh! Hi, Twilight. Uh, hi…” Applejack stammers, blushing furiously and my fellow unicorn smiles sweetly.
“I’m sorry, I didn’t mean to interrupt, but I couldn’t help but wonder why the two of you are sitting out here in the snow. I could offer you some hot apple cider, or at least a towel and a chance to warm up.”
A long, awkward pause makes Twilight’s smile falter and me roll my eyes. A sharp prod in the rear end gets Applejack to step forward and glare over her shoulder at the offending horn. My dangerously sweet smile makes her blush more. “Oh, I’m quite sure that Applejack has no desire to walk home in this storm, but I have yet to feed Opal and she will destroy my shop if I neglect her unduly.” Giving Applejack a quick, serious look, I add, “We’ll talk more later if you need to. In the meantime, you ponies have fun now!”
I leave them behind as I trot off, chortling to myself. Oh yes, that was well worth a good soaking in the cold!
I want to read it, I do. The thing is, it's so long that it's putting me off. What's wrong with just putting each chapter in, well, its own chapter?
Now, that I liked...
Very brave to publish the whole story in one chapter though... Have to agree with SugarPesticide on this one - Would have been easier to read if it were separated!
Favourited and Liked.
ImmortalScientist out.
All of my d'awwws, a thumb, and a watch is coming your way.
I'm certainly favoriting this, but it took me a good 30+ minutes to wrestle down this monster of a story, I suggest you do what SugarPesticide said. I was also about to comment on how you claimed Twilight was an only child but you posted that this was written in 2011.
I'm assuming you wrote this story for a different site entirely and didn't bother to chop it up into completely different chapters. You may want to do that.
Now this is a cute story. I feel that there should be more to the story though. I would like to see the talks they would have with their families and maybe even the princess. Still a great story though.
In terms of a shipping fic, that was amazing. So many fics are like, "I love you Pinkie", then "I love you too", ending up being completely generic and unoriginal. This one however, took the basic plot, but made it interesting.
FAVORITE
Read it. It was great! Good Job!
Great story, even if the word count was somewhat daunting
This was really cute. Can't wait to see if there's more.
Good read so far, not entirely done as I have to read in bits and pieces. I apologize if this gets explained later, but what's up with AJ's parents? It seems like there's a whole lot of contradictions. Are they in Ponyville, or away with AJ's grandfather? There's lines where they're talking to her or looking at her, and others where AJ and AB are missing them. What's going on with them?
Edit: Nevermind. Some of how it was phrased made it awkward and a bit confusing, but got to a point that cleared it up.
Poor Dashie
This was really good. Some minor errors but nothing major. I love it
That...was a treat! Not gonna lie...this is one of the best shipping stories I've come across (certainly the best AppleSparkle story). It didn't feel rushed and it just made me feel all warm and fuzzy inside! I burst out laughing at pinkie's "You can do that!?!" line I really hope that there is more to come based on that For now... line at the end! Faved! FAVED WITH AVENGENCE!!!!
"Rarity or any of those snooty ponies that sneer at me and mine. "
I just thought I'd point out that this line really sticks out as a kind of weird jab against Rarity; Rarity doesn't really seem to sneer at anypony, especially not the apples. Just a bad choice of word, I think.
“Ah know. And Pa’s gonna have kittens when ah tell him.”
Lol'd
Final Summation;
Bwilliant! I liked the whole thing, which is unexpected since I am hardly an AppleLight fan; just goes to show you did a great job!
Overall this is a decent story, though I felt the wording was clunky at times. I think the problem has to do with the fact that the entire story is written in present tense, which I don't think fits this type of story well. The relationship also progressed too quickly, with Twilight going from no romantic feelings to hopelessly in love in two dates. It just feels like there should have been more development. Perhaps a bit more development in that area could make this a great story.
I'm going to be the odd pony out and say that I like the giant chapter. I would say, however, that I think there is a definite opportunity to continue this tale in subsequent chapters. Now that they are together, how about focusing on them solving relationship troubles together? Or facing their families? I thought that we'd at least see Applejack's father's and Big Mac's reaction, but that thread just sort of vanished.
Still, you got a thumbs up from me.
oh rarity you devious mare you
Very nice start. But I need some sleep, little though it is, so I shall have to finish in the morning. Till then
Good. Yes.
love the use of perspective and the awesome introduction, this story just took top priority .
its Hooficure not ponicure, lol. sorry but true.