Chapter 0: Prologue
Date: ???
Chaos all around… how could this have happened? I could never have foreseen this incident happening. Maybe once. The second time? No, we couldn’t have expected that. Nobody, however, could have foreseen a third incident. Especially so soon after the last one...
Ponyville. Probably the most populated and visited town of all, was a distorted and ruined mess. Pink thunderclouds had formed in the blue sky, dropping chocolate raindrops that splashed and stained my coat. The surrounding buildings were a mess, as well. There were some that were upside down, more that were suspended in mid-air, and yet others that were completely distorted, as if they were an art experiment gone wrong.
The one who had caused all of this to happen, Discord, was standing before me. I never thought I would see him again. At least not in his current form, having been released, causing all of this madness.... It was unspeakable. I was furious, but also scared. Clutched by her neck in his taloned claw was my sister, Luna. I could see the midnight-colored Alicorn gasp for air as she tried, to no avail, to wiggle free from Discord's grasp. I merely stood there, watching and growling under my breath, as I tried to figure out how I could diffuse this situation without harming my sister in the process.
I couldn’t help but notice that a few other ponies had appeared beside me. My eyes shifted from left and right as six familiar ponies stood their ground from either side of me. I knew these representatives of the Elements of Harmony well. Pinkie Pie, the Element of Laughter. Rarity, the Element of Generosity. Applejack, the Element of Honesty. Rainbow Dash, the Element of Loyalty. Fluttershy, the Element of Kindness. Last but not least, my faithful student: Twilight Sparkle, the Element of Magic.
The bearers of the Elements of Harmony had gathered once more to take down Discord, but something seemed amiss. All six of them were here, but from what I could tell were not equipped with the Elements of Harmony. Did that mean they had come here unprepared? That wasn’t good. With Discord right in front of us, we couldn’t really escape either. I was about to speak to Discord, but he beat me to it. Discord merely gave a wicked smile towards me as he tightened his grip around Luna’s neck.
“Oh, now isn’t this so very delightful,” he crooned to us. “I do hope you didn’t really think that brute force could overcome my stunning wit and charm.
His wit and charm didn’t impress me, not in the least. There was nothing delightful with this chaotic being. I could see his other deformed animal hand reach for Luna’s face. Before he did so, Luna gave a pained smile toward me. Why was she smiling at me? Did she have a plan? Was she planning to sacrifice herself? No, whatever she was planning, it couldn’t be good. Before I could do anything however, her horn glowed brightly. I could see Discord give a small grin as he placed his hand, glowing with chaotic energy, on Luna’s horn.
What I saw next left my mouth agape. Luna had unleashed whatever spell she had been building up at the same time that Discord had released his own spell. A large ball of light appeared before them and, before I knew it, they were enveloped by it.
"What? Oh for the love of... ” Discord screamed as he was also consumed by the magic and vanished. Seeing Discord’s last expression before being enveloped would have left a satisfying smile on my face, but I didn’t have time to smile. When the ball of light enveloped him, it took my sister as well. With tears in my eyes, I couldn’t help but step forward.
“Sister!” I yelled for her. I never got a reply back. I worried that she had died when the light enveloped her. I couldn’t grieve for very long. That light was also coming towards me! I took a step back and looked towards the Elements of Harmony.
“Run, my little ponies!” I yelled. It was time for a hasty retreat, but I knew it was too late for me when I turned back toward the light. It was moving too rapidly, and I was soon enveloped in its pink glow. It felt warm and nauseating. My vision blurred as the light suddenly faded to complete darkness. What was happening to me? I wanted to escape, but I couldn’t see. I had nowhere to run as my body began to grow cold, chilling me to the bone. My body felt distorted and twisted, making me yell in pain. I wanted the cold and pain to stop. I didn’t want this…
I began to think I was dying, but I just didn’t know anymore. Eventually, it became harder to think and breathe, but I needed to keep myself focused. I tried to hold onto something, anything. My mind had grown fuzzy, however. Slowly, despite my best effort, everything faded to black.
XXXXXXX
Special Thanks To Editor: DaMobbs
Chapter Originally Added: March 26th
XXXXXXXXXX
Chapter 1: Dimensions
Date: April 13th, 2012
XXXXXXXXXX
“Sir, are you sure you do not require a break?”
“Yes Gordon, I’m sure. I’m still good for at least another run through. I’m not drained just yet.”
“Very well sir… I shall be in the house if you require my services. Enjoy your run.”
“Right…”
I stared out from the back porch of my house, eyeing the obstacle course occupying my backyard. The sun was shining high in the sky blinding me for a few seconds until I adjusted my view back down to the yard. I looked back at my house: My small, one story house. Gordon was heading in through the back door, closing it softly behind him as if he was trying to be as sneaky as possible. I sighed, wondering just why I paid attention to all of these menial details. I mean, it comes in handy but sometimes I’d like to turn it off, if at all possible.
Gordon was my butler. Y’know... middle-aged, black suit, white shirt, black and grey hair... yeah, unbelievable right? What kind of 22 year old college kid needs a butler? Well apparently, my family thought I did. They couldn’t accept the fact that I’d live somewhere else away from them for an extended period of time. In short, I wanted to leave the nest, they didn’t want me to, and they came to a compromise of sorts. So, using their money and connections, they hired me a butler…
Honestly, it was a bittersweet opportunity. While a butler is nice to have around, I don’t feel as independent as I’d like to be. But life is all about adapting to new situations and I adapted. I’ve gotten to know him over the past year… Yes, a year. He’s actually a pretty nice guy when you look past the whole ‘I’m here to serve’ aspect of being a butler.
However, that’s besides the point. I was still sweating quite a bit from my last run of the obstacle course. It was fairly small enough to fit in my backyard which was around an eighth of an acre. I constructed it myself using tires and some discarded equipment. You would not believe what you could scrounge up in your local junkyard. Using some old tires, I made a small jogging course where I would maneuver my feet through the holes in the tires. One misstep and I’d, hopefully, fall onto the other tires to cushion the landing. It honestly reminded me of my Elementary school days and the games I’d play with my friends, but again I digress.
After that, there’s the seven foot tall wooden wall with very small ledges in seemingly random places. It made climbing all the harder with almost no solid hand or footholds. Building it wasn’t too hard. I just took a thick sheet of wood and chiseled out random areas. My hands took the brunt of the pain... not from the climbing but from the number of times I smacked it with the hammer by accident.
The rest of it is just a small track and loops leading back to the tires with some improvised hurdles here and there. It’s not much to look at but I can proudly say I did it myself. Besides, I can grab more junk in the future to expand on it. I’m hoping on installing a long stretch of monkey bars eventually but we’ll see what happens.
Just thinking about the course has gotten me riled up inside for another run through. I stretched once more before my last run when I caught a glimpse of myself through a mirror I had on my porch. I had brown short hair, blue eyes, large yet thin lips, sporting a white tank-top and brown jogging shorts. My glasses were slightly crooked so I pushed them back up my nose. I wasn’t really muscular by any means, but I had some muscle due to working out a little everyday, hence the course. There was no point in killing myself to gain bulging biceps. It didn’t feel right to me.
After checking myself out in the mirror, I slapped both my cheeks and took a couple of deep breaths. I looked up at the sky once more. No clouds whatsoever and it wasn’t scorching hot. Even the weather lady said it would be like this for the next few days. That meant zilch though, taking into regard their past track record with forecasts. Best to get this underway while the going was still good.
I stepped off the porch onto the grass, hopping to get my heart pumping and the blood flowing. I stumbled slightly as my foot managed to fall on an indent in the ground. I really had to get concrete for this obstacle course but like I said before, it’s still incomplete. Besides, it added an extra level of difficulty as i moved through it. I made my way to the first obstacle and crouched down like a sprinter at the block. I took a few more breaths and made sure I had good traction with my feet before mentally counting down from five.
As I hit zero, I immediately took off like a coiled spring being released and flew towards the tires. I could already feel the burn as my explosive start sapped quite a bit more energy than I thought it would. I didn’t slow down though. I instead just smiled like a madman making a break for it. As I approached the tires, I switched from long strides to quick up and down motions with my legs. My feet fell right into the middle of the first tire and the next. While speed was my priority, I still tried to keep from falling and only went as fast as I felt I could safely. The back end of my foot got caught on the last tire and I stumbled slightly. I regained my balance still half running and kept on trucking.
As I worked my way towards the wooden wall, I noticed something rather strange. Everything was enveloped in a slight pinkish hue, kind of like a rave but less intense. Actually, the colors all around me were starting to become whacky. I just brushed it off, putting it off as just me being more exhausted than normal. I reached the base of the wall still running and transferred that momentum into vertical height. I gripped the small ledges and proceeded to pull myself to the top. My fingers were starting to burn from fatigue now but I ignored their constant whining. No pain no gain and my hands weren’t exempt from that rule. I pulled myself to the apex of the wall and swung a leg over. I stopped at the very top for a quick breather, just now wondering why the light had developed a pinkish hue.
My question was answered as I looked up at the sky, my jaw somewhere on the ground by now. The sky was flashing pink. Even the clouds were more poofy than usual and a solid pink, almost like cotton candy. It didn’t make sense, but that’s what came to mind.
“Haha… Military right?” I asked myself. When it came to weather experiments and the military, shit hits the fan relatively quickly. I sighed as I watched the impromptu rave in the sky as this was probably the only time I’d see something like this ever.
“Maybe a test trial for a new firework? Probably some of those weird chemicals doing that to the air,” I said to myself once again, “but that’s some crazy shit, I swear…” As I said this though, the sky turned back to its’ light shade of blue as if somebody just flicked a switch. I furrowed my brows in thought. Now how did that work? I shook my head and rubbed my eyes.
“Maybe I just imagined it and I’m going through one of my crazy little ‘episodes’ again?” I decided to go with that. Out of all the explanations I could come up with, that one made the most sense. Shrugging, I hopped down the wall and landed on the soft grass in a tumble to dispel any downward momentum. I got back to my feet and started running to the next obstacle when I tripped on something and fell flat on my face. I rolled over to face the smile with a pained frown on my face. Thankfully, soft grass met my face and not hard cement. Incomplete course wins again.
At that moment, I smelled something rather peculiar to say the least. Fudge, or something chocolate-y or more on the side of brownies. The three were similar to each other yet fudge was the first to come into my mind. Was Gordon making fudge to tempt me from running the course again? No, that couldn’t be it. I sat up and was met with a rather interesting surprise. I, that is my brain, was confused but my lower section was having a field day.
A woman at first glance, completely naked without any clothing and sporting a pair of double D breasts. I stared a few moments longer before checking her out...
Not in that way, you damn pervert...
She had no visible bruises or cuts on any part of her body but she was unconscious. Maybe she was sleeping? Anyway, I came out of my stupor with my eyes somehow finding their way back to her breasts. I mean it doesn’t get easier than this and who wouldn’t want to take a gander? But getting back to my point, there was something really strange about her: She had long, majestic rainbow hued hair. It was vaguely familiar for some reason but I couldn’t place a finger on it.
Upon closer inspection, she smelled like fudge. That would explain the smell, I thought. I ran my hand through her soft majestic rainbow-like hair. It felt really soft and angelic, hair I haven’t felt in a very long time. My hand slowly found its’ way onto her body and—no, wait, what am I doing? I pulled my hand off her shoulder quickly. I had to stay calm. It was really hard to keep my libido under control as it was.
Why was this naked woman in my obstacle course and how did she get here? I could have sworn this area was fenced off. Unless she climbed over the gate?
I looked up at the sky again and then back down to her. I shook my head in disbelief. There were more pressing matters at hand and that could wait until said matter was awake. I needed to check for a pulse to see if she was alive. As I pressed my fingers up to her neck, I felt her heart pumping blood at a seemingly normal pace. Maybe she had internal injuries? It was a mystery to me. I placed a hand on her shoulder and shook her a few times.
“Uh ma’m, you ok? Time to get up...”, I asked her. I could hear some unintelligible mumblings but she was out cold and made no effort to respond. I only sighed. Come to think of it, she did seem rather familiar but where have I seen her before. As I looked at her beautiful hair, I put a forefinger and thumb on my temples in thought. One thing stood out. That rainbow hair… It looks similar to the hair Princess Celestia has. You know, in that My Little Pony TV show… I haven’t seen that show in like a month or so now, so my memory is slightly fuzzy, but… No, no no no, another time, another place.
I shook these thoughts out of my mind while trying to figure out the current issue at hand. I can’t just leave her here, not to mention she’s smack dab in the middle of my course. I sighed once more as I took a small walkie-talkie out of my pocket. I usually keep it with me if I needed to talk to Gordon immediately. I pressed the transmit button and spoke.
“Gordon, come in Gordon.”, I said into the walkie-talkie. As I let go, static came over the speaker until a slightly audible click came through. Then Gordon’s voice came on.
“Yes Master? This is Gordon.”
“Prepare the guest bedroom. We have an unexpected guest that is in need of a bed.”
“Very well sir. May I ask just who is this guest?”
I looked down at the woman and sighed before continuing.
“Not sure, but please have a large blanket ready. She’s naked.”
“Naked, sir? Should I call the police, sir?”
“No, not yet. I want to know who this woman is first when she wakes up. For now, just prepare the guest bedroom and a blanket. Out.”
I flipped the volume to low and put it back in my pocket. I leaned down and scooped my hands under her to pick her up. Despite her size, she was a lot lighter than I expected... almost like a couple of pillows, which was actually pretty impressive. Then again, it was a woman and they loved maintaining slim figures so it made sense.
As I walked back towards my house, I could feel her stirring with slight movements of her legs but that was about it since I could still hear her snoring. I still don’t even know who this woman is either. Other than a vague resemblance of a fictional cartoon character, she was a stranger. That and this was trespassing.
“Mm… Muffins…”
I blinked. Okay, who would murmur muffins in their sleep? I mean seriously. Not even I, Gerald McCormack, would mutter such things!
…Okay, maybe I would but that wasn’t the point. The point is she actually said something. Maybe she was having a pleasant dream about muffins? Maybe she was a baker? I didn’t know. As I got closer to my house, I could see Gordon standing next to the door, blanket in hand, watching me come closer to the house. As I did, he raised a brow in surprise.
“Sir, here is the blanket that you asked--hmm?” I saw shoot a small glance at the naked woman and a blush appeared on his normally neutral face. “I can see why she needs a blanket. If I may say sir, you always did have a thing for the ladies”, Gordon said with a chuckle. I deadpanned. His jokes can be a little stupid at times, even in situations like these. I ignored it as Gordon placed the blanket on top of her, for the sake of covering up her lack of decency. I looked back at Gordon.
“Prepare a muffin and a glass of water for our guest and possibly some migraine pills too. I’ll be taking her to the guest room”, I said as I walked passed him. He gave a small gentlemanly bow. I then stopped and looked at Gordon. “And Gordon...” He looked up at me. “I just found her like this. I wish you’d stop getting so many funny ideas… sheesh.”
XXXXXXX
The guest bedroom. I never thought I would ever use it especially since I don’t have many guests in my house to begin with. I didn’t have that many friends to be honest except for maybe a few college mates of mine, but that was it. The guest bedroom contained a small twin-size bed with some blue and red sheets and a silver comforter on top. There was a small window that showed off the entire backyard and the course in all its glory. Using a free hand to move the covers, I laid her down in the bed after taking off the blanket wrapped around her so it would be more comfortable. I then brought the sheets over her body.
Sleeping naked wasn’t a big deal by any means. Some people do it and heck, even I do it on occasion. Although I would prefer to keep my underwear on if I were to ever do such a thing again… Much more security that way if you know what I mean.
But anyway, I covered her up and I could see she squirmed a little to get into a more comfortable position. I smiled at the sight but that turned into a look of confusion almost instantly. Now that she was alright, how did she appear in that obstacle course and why did she smell of chocolate, or fudge, or whatever that sweet odor was… Lots of questions yet no answers and the only person I could get those answers from was temporarily unavailable.
“This isn’t by any means normal... especially when she’s naked.” I said to myself. I heard a knock on the door behind me and it opened. I turned my head to see it was Gordon with a tray in hand. On said tray was a muffin, a glass of water, and two white caplets which I assumed was some migraine medication. He placed the tray on the bedside table before regarding the woman on the bed. Gordon turned and looked back at me.
“So just who is our guest, sir?” Gordon said.
“Honestly, your guess is as good as mine. I found her in the middle of my obstacle course.” I looked back at the woman and then back. “It’s very puzzling though, coming here naked I mean. Looking at the situation, she’s probably just one of those old styled hippies or maybe someone left her there to die. Without knowing her story, I can’t say for certain.” I scratched my chin as I dismissed a rather absurd idea that my mind formed. “No, couldn’t be… No one’s stupid enough to wander around the neighborhood naked and no one’s dumb enough to leave a dying person in someone’s yard... unless she was high on drugs or something.”
“If I may sir… There are some people who do not think ahead of time and just leave the bodies as they are. Then again, they wouldn’t leave them alive like this.”
“I see… But still… she’s here and she’s alive. That’s what matters. I STILL want to know who she is though.”
I rubbed the temples of my head as I felt the beginnings of a headache form. I looked back at the bed and then back at Gordon before realizing that I was slightly parched from the workout. I didn’t realize it since I was carrying that woman but now it was plain obvious.
“Gordon, could you go and get another glass of water? I’m feeling rather thirsty.”
“Very good sir. One moment.”
He quickly bowed and proceeded out of the room, closing the door quietly behind him. I gave a small sigh. That butler of mine is great. He really is. I guess I should thank my parents for ‘something’ after all. I kept looking at the covered form of the woman in front of me. She reminded me of a fallen angel to be honest. Then again, that isn’t feasibly possible but still, a man can dream.
She looked really heavenly while she was sleeping in the guest bed. It almost made me feel like I wanted to touch her hair again, as if it were drawing me in, but I can’t have that kind of temptation right now. She needs to sleep off whatever is wrong with her and then she can answer the questions that are bothering my mind. But you know, the more I look at her, the more I keep thinking about her hair. Why does she remind me of Princess Celestia so much? Is it really the damn hair? I know it can’t be though. Celestia’s an Alicorn, not a human. Not to mention that the cartoon is fictional. It’s not real.
At this point, I just didn’t care. I’ve killed too many cats as of late—well, not literally—when it came to curiosity. I found myself next to the bed. I couldn’t help but bring my hand towards her magnificent hair again. The woman’s eyes popped open immediately and grabbed my hand. I yelped in shock as I jerked my hand back and tripped over my own feet onto the floor behind me. When I looked up, she was also sitting up, taking no care to cover up her breasts. Her beautiful purple eyes stared right at me and she shouted in a voice that made my ears ring.
“Who are you and just what do you think you’re doing!?”
XXXXXXXXX
AN: Whew, now this chapter I felt motivated and confident with. Not a single case of writers block, woo! Now then, was it exciting? Was it decent? I’m welcome to any criticism.
EN: Praise the glory of the Editors and Proofreaders!
i clicked cuz of the thumbnail
More PonyFall goodness
*cue playboy music*
And here's the fifth one to come out
OMG dat Celestia
muffins
This has potential
Also, dat celestia
DAT THUMBNAIL
At first when I saw the picture I was like OH NO IT'S ONE OF THESE FICS SOMEONE HELP but everything turned out better than expected.
I do have three minor nitpicks though.
1) This sentence has way too many commas: So, in some bizarre twist, using their money and connections, they hired me a butler, to, mainly take care of me, making sure I was eating right, and clean up the house if it were to be a pigsty, and some other minor tidbits here and there…
2) Numbers lower than 100 are usually written out as words (such as one, twenty-two, and so on).
3) There isn't a whole lot of reaction when he runs across Celestia. He's just like Oh hey, I tripped over a naked woman. A bit more emotion might help to color it.
Everything went better than expected. I am intrigued. Oh, and DAT CELESTIA.
367604
Ah, finally a critic who hasn't been hit by the cover image!
1. I can understand the too many commas part, it's a bit of a grammar habit I'm trying to get rid of.
2. True, numbers are mostly written in words. Bit of a slip up of mine, unfortunately, which I'll have to edit out once I get some sleep.
3. There is SOME reaction, but enough to not cause a major dramatic freak-out. Some people do exist that are calm and calculated, but do give minor reactions. Differs on personality from person to person.
and now that i have acutely read it i have something to say
Moar plz
Saw this in the whatever that box at the top is called and decided to give it a try, I must say I am looking forward to more of this seems like it should be quite fun.
Couple of inconstancies stood out to me
I pressed my fingers up to her clothed neck,
Wasnt she still naked at this point?
costumed figure in my arms.
same again
Twice referring to her in such a manner as she is wearing something then very soon after repeating her lack of clothes, just seems a bit off,
anyway time for the customary
MOAR!
368761
Ah crap, that was back from my first draft when I wanted to put her in clothes. I better go fix that...
Fixed.
At first I was liek "NOOO HUMANS WE NEED PONIES"
And then I was liek "YAAAAY HUMANS MOAR PLZ!"
This fic is witchcraft!!!
WITCHCRAFT I SAY!!!
I Praise the ruinous powers for this bounty!
(Please do not take offense to my rather critical criticism)
My greatest grief is your lack of commas in reference to dialogue. When you have, say, '"Radda Radda Radda." I said' - I go berserk. If your dialogue ends with a modifier like "I/he/she/it said/replied/barked/shouted/deadpanned," then you should end it with a comma. Like so, "Look at my pony; my pony's amazing," Discord Sang. NEVER "Look at my pony; my pony's amazing." Discord deadpanned. Do not use periods in these cases, please. It's grammatically incorrect and it just looks unprofessional.
☩
Also, OCs are incredibly laid back about the whole "Naked Hottie" thing. I for one would be far more concerned. An unconscious, naked girl would set off rape alarms, not murder alarms; you characters are thinking it might be murder, but then again I over-think things like hell. Still, they are fairly nonchalant about it, and that irks me. Ask yourself this, "If I found a hot and naked lady with double Ds in my backyard, how would I react?" This might be how you would react, but personally I'd be freaking out. Your main OC seems almost aloof about everything.
☩
Celestia's mane ( or in this case, hair) is not described as a "rainbow," it is described as "pastel." ROYGBIV is Dash's thing, not Celestia's. I often use the Wiki to describe how the canon ponies look in regard to coat, mane, and eyes.
368822
Grammar's a bitch, my friend... Grammar's a bitch.
Also, the OCs are not THAT laid back, they do show some kind of surprised reaction. Just not the kind the readers expect, which I was aiming for. Don't you often get tired to see an OC acting like a dramatized crazy guy as if a gun was held to his head? Yes, naked women can give anyone a very surprising reaction, but not everyone. Personalities differ.
The way of naming Celestia's mane... That did make it a bit difficult. I thought her mane was like a really soft rainbow-like color. Didn't know it was called pastel. Sorry about that.
I appreciate the criticism though, friend. You're probably the first that has ever heavily criticized anything I've made, besides grammar, lol.
368832
I know, I've spent many a long night with the Owl at Purdue just to make sure I'm using commas properly. I think that writing here has significantly improved my abilities as a writer, and as such I love to pass along my knowledge as to improve other people's stories so that they get more sleep than I did.
☩
I suppose I can buy that argument, however dubious. The whole 'freaking out' is accepted because it's realistic, is it not? The issue here is that he's almost too easy going. Sure, he's surprised, who wouldn't be? First reaction (besides resisting poking her lovelies) is to bring her into his house. Admittedly, that's an acceptable break from reality for the sake of story, but it's presented a little peculiar at how fast he reaches that conclusion. Ditto for the butler; butlers are people too. I'll accept it for now, but keep in mind to flesh out their reactions lest they come off as needlessly aloof.
☩
Well, according to the dictionary, pastel is described as "a color having a soft, subdued shade." Si her mane is usually generalized as "pastel" because it's easier than describing each one of her colors, of which there are four.
☩
So long as I've help you on this day, then my day is a success. Cheers!
[img]data:image/jpeg;base64,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
Tracking.
368875
Pleasure to see you, fellow commenter! :D
Luv it... MOLESTIA LIKE.
368879 And if i am not much mistaken, you are also the author of My Little Naruto. Great fic by the way. Let me know if mine are any good.
Nice to know some authors get out into the masses instead of hiding in their ivory towers of creativity.
You keep mentioning she smells like fudge I am a massive nerd but I can't help but keep thinking 'if he said she smelled like honey she would be a Time Lord/Lady'. This is why I shouldn't read wiki pages so much weird information. Liking this rebuild though you seem to be a lot more enthusiastic about it then the mare-do-well one.
Very interesting. I'll be sure to give this one a chance.
Tracked/liked.
Edit: Not because of the picture.
HOLY MOTHER OF CHEESE AND CRACKERS!
...And Butter.
The fic is in the #1 spot on the Featured List! God dammit, if I could go through my computer screen and meet every one of ya, I'd kiss you all! I'd be disgusted for doing so, but I'd still god damn do it!
Everyone, thank you all for the great support you've given this fic, it makes me so damn happy!
369023 "If you write it, they will come!"
It's a fun fic I guess, though I can't help but feel some early warning gary-stu vibes coming from the main character... Still, I had fun reading it.
That being said, you may really want to consider getting somebody to go through this with a red pen. There are a LOT of spelling and grammatical errors and some really awkward word choices here and there. It sorta makes it feel like the story is written by a talented writer, but one who does not speak English very well...
369069
Spelling errors I really doubt... Grammar errors I know about.
Yes... I know. I get this a lot. I get it a lot... x_x
dat thumbnail o_0
369075
It's not so bad it breaks the story or anything. I'm just saying you might want to get somebody else involved with your writing. It never hurts to have someone with a critical eye proofread what you write.
BTW, can you link me to wherever this Ponyfall thing is? I've never heard of it before now, but if it's still open to join, a legitimate reason to write a silly, non-serious, self-indulgent, self-insert fanfiction might be just the thing to get me out of my writing funk...
I Clicked cuz of thumbnail....i like the story :D
Well my collab has plenty of spots available. Just get in on the Irc Chat, /join ponyfall, and we will find you a character to use.
This. Interested. Tracking.
I clicked for thumbnail
I stay for story
Me Gusta is all I can say
Good start. Although, FYI, 95% of the people that read this got here because they saw the picture.......
Alright, back to the story. You have a open story, a good level writing plain, (a little shaky with grammer though..) and the story itself is fulfilling what about every MLP fan wants to happen.
For Chapter 1, 4/5 stars.
Tracked and waiting next chapter!
Hm.
It's a self-insert story, with a very... very attention-grabbing image. Image aside, here's my thoughts on the story.
>It's a labour of love, I can practically feel the Fun you had writing this. It is like a foreboding sense of dread - usually, when I detect this much Fun, it means I'm in for a horrible ride.
>I'm curious as to how you land in front of, then proceed to trip over a naked woman, without seeing her first. Usually, when you drop down from something, you look down. And see things on the ground, like rocks, gravel, and naked women.
>"Why I was looking at her breasts, is just a sign that I was a male. Who wouldn’t honestly?" <- Yeah, this was not a good sentence. It makes you sound like you're trying way too hard.
>Got some tense confusion in there. (You used "can" as in, "So I can carry her." Should be "So I could carry her.")
>Sentence punctuation needs a bit of work. This is partly pure opinion of mine, given my preferences for dialogue and speech - consider throwing in a semicolon instead of a comma sometimes, that sort of thing.
>A bit much expositionary detail... about things which are incredibly likely to be totally irrelevant.
>Some odd sentences - they feel like you're trying to hit a word limit or something, and so it's a bit forced.
>"So it was probably no suprise." <- You're the narrator. I think you'd know if it was a suprise to you or not.
>Yeah, you could probably do with an editor.
>Thesauruses are your friend. Mix it up. Parched, thirsty, dry, dehydrated. Don't have to do it every time... but try and do it most of the time, it helps.
Overall: Despite my internal "Fun Warning" at the start, it wasn't terrible. Unfortunately, it wasn't amazing, either. Characterization's a little off - MC's 22, and it just feels like he's/you're trying a little too hard to write this character. Throw in a lot of edit-work being needed (proof-reading, at least) and it's falling short of the mid-way mark, even if only by a bit.
On the other hand, it's a self-insert with a cheesy humanification premise, so this is about what I expected, really.
"since there were some times I didn’t pay attention and smashed my fingers with a hammer or chisel."
that is NOT how you are supposed to get hammered
i like it, and it's honestly better than most of my fics, tracking
369255
Trust me when I say "I'm trying."
These issues have already been apparent since I've been here on this site. It would be rather simple to get a proof-reader to fix all of these mistakes, but if only it were that easy to find one... They are bloody hard to find, my friend.
Interesting... Definitely gonna have to keep an eye on this.
369279
Tell me about it.
Anyway...
I visited for the picture but I stayed for the wonderfull story.
You are a great writer, i wish you the best of luck with all your stories.
Good day.
369075
Want me to edit this too my friend?
369457
Only if it doesn't burden you. I'm sure you have a lot on your plate with the Naruto fic, after all.
Personally there is just not enough of the story yet for me to give a "this is good" or a "all my raeg". So far however, your playing with the reverse HIE, with humification trope. And you have a grand amount of breathing room here. So make the best of it and write more plz.
Tracked, I'm curious as to what happens.
The avatar< prays you have the ability to make the plot (mostly celestia's) ravashing.
-never stop writting.
I can only imagine what slorgies fic will bring since he actually hired someone to make his cover art.
(shameless plug for Ponyfall)
Absolutely excellent! Definitely tracking!
Very, very interesting. Really liked your OCs.
Really looking forward to the next chapter, and see just how the story will proceed!
All I can say:
1.bp.blogspot.com/-zVOp5DlQ2MQ/TzO4rBdXZLI/AAAAAAAAAt4/qwC2MHP-xKA/s1600/approval-people-clapping.gif
Bravo good sir.
Definitely worth tracking.
Now I am off to keep writing my DMC/MLP Crossover story.
Me gusta MOAR