Coping With The Pinks.
AN: Hiya guys! A silly little.. I guess, side story here. We'll start directly off from where the original left off. Now, this doesn't contain the wedding, but do not fear! I SHALL be writing about the wedding!
I'd just like to thank everypony for commenting, tracking and favouriting! This means so much to me, it's unbelievable! I'd also like to thank that awesome pony who offered to go over my story - brohoof, dude!
Sunny out!
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Twilight spun around to face her fallen assistant. Letting out a sigh of relief that her apprentice had only fainted, she levitated the letter over to her 'scroll shelf'. Turning back to Spike, she noticed his eyelids fluttering open. He gave a small whimper, and slowly pulled himself to his feet. Shaking his head, he brought himself around to face Twilight.
''You.''
His voice was shaky, sounding sad and almost fearful. She could see the flickers of hurt in his eyes, and knew she had some explaining to do. She opened her mouth, but Spike hadn't finished.
''Rainbow Dash.''
Twilight could only nod. The green dragon turned away from her, the ridges along his spine flattened. Twilight opened her mouth, willing herself to come up with the right words - or her bond with her assistand, her best friend, could be broken forever.
''Spike, I..''
Her assistant spun around, grinning from ear to ear.
''I knew it! I knew it! Oh, congratulations Twilight!'' He yelled, rushing up to her with open arms. The two hugged, and as they broke apart Twilight gave him a curious prod.
''Why the sad act?''
Spike grinned. ''You lied to me - revenge was due.'' But his tone was light-hearted, and Twilight joined him when he burst into fits of laughter.
----------------------
Pinkie Pie did what Pinkie Pie did. I couldn't say exactly what she was doing, because when she's off-screen, she could be doing anything. Throwing a party, babysitting the Cakes' foals, exploring Equestria, thinking (and most likely playing) with portals...
The list goes on.
But then, as she came on-screen...
She heard a shout. Rainbow Dash...getting...Married?!
Pinkie felt excitement bubble up inside of her. A single thought filled her mind.
I will plan this party. I have to plan this party.
Then the moment passed, and Pinkie was Pinkie again. She bounced happily towards Ponyville Town Center.
To where our story truly begins.
----------------------
Rainbow Dash came to a stop beside the fountain, her mouth still open from her shout. Her wings seemed super-charged, her senses on high alert. She lifted into the air and zipped around Ponyville again, this time slower as the adrenaline died off. She came to a halt, and Dash became aware of the pony below her.
''Dash..?''
''Rainbow Dash?''
''RAINBOW DASH!''
Pinkie Pie seemed to bellow directly into her ear, causing Dash to veer in shock. She wobbled around uneasily in the air for a few moments, before making an ungraceful landing and collapsing on the ground. She lay there for a few moments, her ears and head still ringing from the aftermath, before the party pony pulled her to her feet.
Shaking her head, Dash finally managed to regain her senses and collect her thoughts. Looking around, her attention focused on the grinning pony, who was mid sentence.
''---Off-screen, but then the author brought me on-screen, and I suddenly felt like I NEEDEDto throw your wedding party! So I bounced all the way over here, and I saw you! But when I shouted at you, you didn't hear me, so I decided to pull out the BIG GUNS! Then you fell, and here we are!''
Dash face-hoofed.
''Right, okay. Well, I think we'll have to consult Twilight on this.''
Pinkie's eyes widened, and her smile faded slightly. ''Oh, nonononoNO! We are NOT going to Twilight's house!''
Dash gave her a curious look. ''Why..?''
Pinkie gave her a look identical to the one Twilight had given her earlier. ''Because, if we do, the story will be super duper short, and it won't be good at all!''
Dash just sighed. ''Right. Well, we're still going to Twilight's.''
The instant the words left her mouth, Pinkie deflated.
Literally.
The poofiness left her hair, and she seemed to sag.
''But..But..I want to plan the weeddiiiinngg!'' She started to bawl loudly, obviously upset. Dash blinked, surprised. This was weird, even for Pinkie's standards. Carefully, she patted her friend's back.
''Hey, Pinks, cheer up. You can plan the wedding...But we really do need to go to Twilight's...''
The pony in front of her continued crying, and Dash accepted defeat.
''Fine. We won't go to Twilight's house.''
In what seemed to be the space of a second, Pinkie Pie re-inflated, shot to her hooves and pulled Dash to her favourite shop. Dash blinked, decided it was better for her sanity to pretend that never happened, and glanced up at the sign above them
Explosive Nights Out - For all your partying needs!
Dash frowned. ''Uh, Pinkie, I really don't think this is that kind of party...Pinkie?''
But her friend had dissapeared into the shop, and was now looking through the many party decorations.
Sighing, Dash followed her.
------------------------
Twilight's breath came in short bursts as she galloped as fast as she could towards the inevitable destination of her friend and fiance. She'd seen the pink and blue blur. The look on both their faces. Dash looked utterly confused and defeated, and Pinkie's face was pure exhilaration.
As her destination came into view, she started to slow. She halted just outside the door, panting hard. She took a moment to prepare herself, and stepped inside.
----------------------
Pinkie turned.
Twilight nodded.
Pinkie yelled. She ran.
Twilight yelled. She chased.
Dash blinked. She had an involuntary nap on the shop floor.*
*She fainted.
---------------------
''Stop this Pinkie! You cannot possibly think to win this fight!'' Twilight attempted to reason with her friend one last time.
Pinkie, however, had a different idea. She lifted a hoof to point at her opponent. ''Never! I shall plan your wedding - and it will be glorious!''
The two stared each other down. Twilight's horn flared, ready to release her magic. Pinkie's party cannon was primed.
In the distance, a single bird chirped.
Pinkie and Twilight simultaneously released their fire.
''NOOOOOOO!''
Rainbow Dash threw herself between the attacks, smoke flooding the clearing.
The pegasi fell to the floor limp.
Twilight galloped over to her fiance, Pinkie right behind her. They gathered around Rainbow, both fearing the worse. They waited, the smoke slowly fading. Twilight quickly cast a wind summoning spell, desperate to see if her lover was okay.
The smoke dispersed completely, revealing....
''Uuugh....Hey, guys..Why am I on the floor? ....Why...am I...p-p-p...''
Pinkie couldn't hold it in any longer. She burst out laughing, falling backwards. ''I guess we can call you..hehe..Candyfloss Dash!''
Twilight looked down at her now pink marefriend, and she too began to laugh.
Dash groaned inwardly, but she managed a smile. ''I think we should head home.''
The two other ponies nodded, and together they made their way to Twilight's library.
---Two-Months-Later-----
Twilight sighed in relief. Finally, the planning was done! A month and a half of late nights with Pinkie and Dash, making their special day special, complete. Twilight had to admit, Pinkie was a good planner. The two had agreed to work together after they both thought they'd killed Dash.. Twilight smiled at the memory, and decided to hit the hay.
As she settled into bed, she used her magic to cross off another day on her calander.
Only two months left..
END.
AN; I AM SO SORRY. This is REALLY bad isn't it?
*le sigh*
Oh well.
Hope you enjoyed.
Sunny Out.
You should fix the bold thing.
everything after a certain point is bold.
Great story.
Twilight seems to be especially bold in this story.
(I'm going to hell.)
I enjoyed this, but it felt extremely rushed with the broken formatting and typos and other errors (pegasi, calander...). Please fix. And the bold thing, too. Looking very much forward to see how this story continues!
Pinkie before the wedding: ''Never! I shall plan your wedding - and it will be glorious!''
Pinkie at the wedding: "And it is glorious!"
364934
364998
I don't think that's what he means. What I took it as is that you don't build it up enough. There's no tension, and there's no real 'is she gonna accept it? What is she thinking? OMGOMGOMG'. You already state that they're in a relationship, but the relationship isn't very developed.
You do know that like half the story is bolded right?
Very good.
I shall give thee six moustaches!
364998 Really? Ohhhh then it makes sense!
The description is rather confusing, but it seems cute, so I'm going to give it a shot!
Not bad, but you should work on your show v tell. though the way you tell the story here works rather well.
Thanks! This fanfic is so meaningless it's making me even wonder why literature exists. I'm sure once I have an answer it'll allow me to appreciate actually good writings that much better.
Okay, well, it wasn't bad. It wasn't great either. I dislike stories that start off with non-canon relationships, and prefer it when at least some development takes place first, but whatever. It was cute, well-paced and witty, so I enjoyed it.
7/10
366248
I truly hope you're talking about the side story.
366725 Aw, don't listen to him. I thought the story was pretty good! The first chapter by far was better though, just saying.
Me gusta KEEP WRITING DARLING!
365862 it was?
*goes back and checks*
I see only some words that are bolded and more that are all caps
367623 He fixed it. Everything after the bolded RAINBOW DASH! Was bolded to.
367739 ah
that's why I saw something wrong with your comment
367752 It's NP. I would've asked teh same thing to had I been in your shoes. Everyone else who said teh same thing either had their comments deleted or deleted them themselves.
366248 Well. Somepony has a thorn up their bum.
well the second chapter was certainly easier to read, than the first. still a bit confusing during certain parts, but not bad overall. oh btw spike is purple not green, only his spikes are green
I'm not a shipper nor am I a fan of shipping, but hey, all the love and tolerance to ya'.
May the wind be always at your back.
the side story was like listening to a fanfiction on fast forward XD
Well, I liked it.
One thing to say: MOARRRRRRR!!!!!!!
(lol the ad at the bottom is for wedding dresses)
It was... short. But hey, it's TwiDash so
I just hope the wedding story and the likes will be somewhat... more thought out. ;)
367054 It was in fact the first chapter that drove me to my madness. Since the two start in a relationship and encounter no obstacles to it, there's no conflict. I have no prior interest in this relationship, and the story doesn't provide me a reason to care.
369058
Not everything needs conflict.
369058
Because every love story needs obstacles? That gets kind of boring after a while don't you think?
369159 What every story needs is a reason for the audience to care. With no adversity to overcome the triumph is completely hollow. Why should I care Rainbow and Twilight are engaged? I'm not given a reason, instead the story is riding on the characters of an established series. The only reason I would connect with the characters is because of what they did in that series and not from anything in your story.
369252
Welcome to the world of Fanfiction.
I approve
365627
What Kurrus said. When I read 'pegasi' I had to retract the whole sentence to make sure there was only DAsh there, as 'pegasi' is plural.
369252
You. I love you so much.
369335
I personally think that a proper FanFiction should take something already developed and develop it more. This isn't done here, the development of their relationship is already done even though you mention nothing about it. There's a large gap. Nothing is explained, we just know that they're in a relationship. While this is fine, and I can easily infer that they got into a relationship sometime, but it feels empty without some kind of explanation.
The reason (I'm assuming) that a reader wouldn't care about them being engaged is that there's no real conflict to speak of and no real development of the situation or relationship. It lacks depth. But this is the kind of thing people want. Whatever.
369234
I whut so hard. A love story without an obstacle is just porn. What makes me care about their relationship is the fact that maybe Twilight feels like RD isn't spending enough time with her and she runs away and RD has to chase her down or... something. 'Oh my gosh Drama booommmbbb!' But drama is good in a love story. It adds depth.
369700
You again? xD
But I'm fairly sure this isn't porn..right?
RIGHT?
369717
Foreplay.
I'll keep coming back and coming back because I CAN!!! HAHAHAHAHA. And now that there's legitimate arguments going on I'll stay here longer
It's fics like this that make me want to puke . Why? Oh god, why!? Oh, the humanity!!! *BLEARGH*!!! Seriously, why pair up mares? It's just wrong!!!
369834
Would you rather I wrote about TomxRarity?
369966 No! how about NoponyxNopony? This screwed up mentality makes me sick. It makes bronies look bad . In fact, this "mentality" fuels the stereotypical consciousnesses of Pony-haters (not to mention, cloppers). See what I mean?
369834
Also, I sense a homophobe.
You betray all laws of the MLP fandom. Please avoid posting hate on fics not to your tastes.
369985 are you saying I'm against homosexuality...? Not of my tastes? Actually, I respect all bronies and their points of view. I'm not posting hate! Bronies aren't meant to hate each other. In fact, I like you're style of writing ! It's not a coincidence that the show is called "my little pony: friendship is magic", not "my little pony: homosexuality is magic". I'm not being disrepectful, neither am I against gays. I'm just trying to state the obvious: the show is about friendship! If you want to write a fic, write about friendship! If not, it's fine with me. I'm not your mentor ! But please take note that you're producing a horribly disfigured message, and permanently planting it into other people's brains (no offence to your writing skills). All in all, try to keep your fics out of the dark side :)! Isn't MLP:FIM meant to carry you away from a world of hate and misery? Peace, brohoof! /)
370096
A short shipfic that contains NO CLOP, NO GORE, NOTHING that even resembles 'teen' stuff is classified as 'dark and disfigured'?!
THIS IS HATE AND MISERY?!?!?! WHAAAAAAAAT.
369700
Not necessarily. Though, most of the time if there's no background story and stuff it's a clopfic or whatever you want to call it, that certainly isn't the case here. There's still somewhat of a story, even if there's not much depth.
370174 No, It's not! (I was talking about our world, not Equestri xD) ! What I was trying to say: Why can't there be a single patch of innocence in this world? There's always something there. Something ready to devour the only vulnerable innocence we have left! I wasn't referring to your story, I was referring to all those other ones out there. Those so called "mature" fics!
370264
I'm so confused right now.
This was so goood. -Squeal.-
370306 one answer: tl;dr LOL
369252 It's not always the conflict that always makes you WANT to care. Not every story needs an obstacle, or an opponent, or a bad guy. He just wanted to write a short and sweet story, and it just happened to be how Twi and RD got engaged by a game of rhymes, and a short comedy about how they had to stop Pinkie while of course breaking the fourth wall. If you don't like it, there really is no need to be a dick about it, either just dislike and go or actually make a useful comment, or even just say what you didn't like about it instead of calling it basically the worst piece of literature in existence. Good day sir.
370191
Well, saying 'porn' was just a hyperbole, but really my argument can be better summed up like this. 'So, Becky and I went to the mall and we got some clothes'. That's a story, right? Not very interesting. 'So, Becky and I went to the mall and she totally spilled soda all over my new dress. This hot guy almost saw me like that, but I was able to hide away from him so it was all okay.' This story has conflict, and it makes it more INTERESTING. A problem and a solution.
Also, I'm seeing that other people that aren't for the story are being less than... respectful about the manner. Just wanted to confirm that I'm not trying to tear the fic down as I am giving my opinion on quality story telling. The story itself is fine, I just think it could be better represented.
author, just ignore the trolls and non-helpful haters.