It's nice to see Octy and Berry enjoying their time together. It is good how we're given a bit of insight into both of them, though one is more subtle than the other. On the one hand we've got Octy dealing with her embarrassment, and she shows how willing she is to accommodate Berry, including facing up to her nightmare scenario. On the other, Berry demonstrates her idea of having a good time includes mandatory drinking, and that she wants to share that concept of a good time. The negative thing is that in Berry's probably genuine effort to get Octy to loosen up, she's not really respecting Octy's boundaries.
I like this chapter. The pacing is a little more relaxed than usual, and if I compare it to the Gilda/Twi date, I can hardly believe how much you improved.
Though, I do have to say: One speaker per paragraph. Seriously, it is confusing as all hell if you swap speakers mid paragraph.
Ohmygosh, you're alive.
It's nice to see Octy and Berry enjoying their time together. It is good how we're given a bit of insight into both of them, though one is more subtle than the other. On the one hand we've got Octy dealing with her embarrassment, and she shows how willing she is to accommodate Berry, including facing up to her nightmare scenario. On the other, Berry demonstrates her idea of having a good time includes mandatory drinking, and that she wants to share that concept of a good time. The negative thing is that in Berry's probably genuine effort to get Octy to loosen up, she's not really respecting Octy's boundaries.
I like this chapter. The pacing is a little more relaxed than usual, and if I compare it to the Gilda/Twi date, I can hardly believe how much you improved.
Though, I do have to say: One speaker per paragraph.
Seriously, it is confusing as all hell if you swap speakers mid paragraph.