Ch. 1: Turnabout E.R. (part 1)
{Unknown POV}
“Your progress is amazing.”
“Well, I couldn’t have done it without you guys helping me.”
“It’s no trouble at all, really.”
“Now, one of my best friends is a crazy cat lady.”
Ah ha ha ha ha ha!
*Creak*
“Huh? Who’s there?”
*Shing!*
“Die!”
“Grrr! Ruff! Arf! Arf!”
“AAAAAAAAAAH!”
…
---{Trixe’s POV}
The Great and Powerful Trixie Variety Show
Now providing defense attorney services
*Ring!* *Ring!*
“To whom goes the pleasure of speaking to Trixie?”
…
“No, the Great and Powerful Trixie has no need for something so beneath her as a new credit bit plan. Do not call this number again!”
*click*
The Great and Powerful Trixie let out a great sigh. That had been the third telemarketer this week. Once again, they tried to steal her bits and replace them with garbage items that she would never use. When she filled out the information in her ad for Equestria’s papers, Trixie had thought she had made it perfectly clear that she was only accepting calls for two things: requests for her great and powerful magic shows… and requests for a lawyer. The latter had been applied about two months ago.
She had to waste two years of her precious and valuable time relearning the law from the ground up. Apparently, spending the months in prosecutor training hadn’t been good enough to earn a position in all things law-based. As usual, the world owed her for granting it a favor but it didn’t pay it back.
“Sometimes, Trixie wonders why she even bothered,” Trixie said in a way that was definitely not talking to herself like a crazy pony.
Ever since she was robbed of victory against Rainbow Crash and Twilight Snarkle, she had to find new ways to vent. In good conscience, she couldn’t even hold her grudge against Phoenix Wrong. Even though he still looked like he had a porcupine on his head, he had provided her the starting funds to buy a new traveling coach and the inspiration to expand her horizons.
“I heard that loser dealt with this kind of work all of his life.” Trixie remembered. “How can it be this hard to find a defenseless foal in need of defending?”
The Great and Powerful Trixie continued her powerful sulking. Then, the phone rudely made her topple off her couch as it rang off-schedule. Normally, this was the hour telemarketers had given up. Who would call Trixie at such a late hour?
“The Great and Powerful Trixie speaking,” Trixie said, letting the slightest hint of irritation seep into her tone.
“Um, hello,” responded the voice on the other end, “I kind of need a lawyer.”
Trixie raised her eyebrow, uncertain if she had heard correctly. “Come again?”
“I read your ad in the paper,” the voice clarified, “I know this is short notice, but I’m kind of out of options. I’m being held in the detention center right now.”
The Great and Powerful Trixie let out a great hum. “Well, miss, you’ve caught Trixie at a time where she is very busy with great and powerful things she must attend to.”
“Oh…”
“But,” she interrupted before the voice had a chance to hang up, “Trixie supposes that she can move some of her items around to come discuss your trivial life matters with you.”
“Really? Oh, thank you! Thank you! Thank you!”
“Yes, yes, Trixie is quite gracious,” she admitted, “Now, what was your name?”
---
9:25 AM
Defense Lobby 2
Before coming to the court building this morning, Trixie only had time to scarf down some dry honey-hay oats without milk. Now her stomach was grumbling at the lack of good and proper filling. Needless to say, the noise was distracting.
I could murder for a pile of crackers and peanut butter right now, she thought.
“Miss Trixie?” inquired a familiar voice.
Speaking of murder…
The pony that stood before her was a much less impressive blue than Trixie’s own hide. Her mane was messier than Trixie’s too. It was no wonder she had asked the Great and Powerful Trixie for help. No other pony was great and powerful enough to pull this particular pony out of the trouble she was in. Trixie was supposed to defend this recently recovering crazy mare in court against the charges of murder. Such a task was obviously within the capabilities of the Great and Powerful Trixie, but she could understand how other ponies might consider it difficult.
“What is it, Lefty Lucy?” Trixie responded.
“My name is Righty Tidy,” corrected the pony.
“Whatever, Lucy,” dismissed Trixie before asking a second time, “What is it?”
Lefty Lucy frowned, but she quickly shook her head before speaking again. “I just wanted to thank you again for agreeing to help me in my hour of need.”
“You may want hold off your thanks.” Trixie looked long and hard at her client. “If it turns out that you really did commit the crime, then Trixie will not hesitate to allow the judge to declare a guilty verdict on the spot.”
Lefty Lucy flinched and backed off. This allowed Trixie to return to her thoughts.
Of course, Trixie isn’t going to admit that she won’t do anything of the sort. Lucy may be crazy, but with her background, Trixie finds the possibility of her being the true criminal to be zero. That’s the job of a defense attorney, right? Trust the client even if all evidence turns against them. Still, it would help to keep them on their hooves so that they don’t do anything stupid while in the courtroom. The last thing Trixie needs are extra court penalties before she can say anything.
---
9:30 AM
Courtroom No. 2
Conversations carried by several ponies at once echoed throughout the court chambers. None of the topics could be identified due to the sheer volume and density of those echoes.
*Tap!* *Tap!*
The voices quickly simmered to little more than awkward coughs. All eyes in the courtroom turned to the pony sitting in the judge’s seat. From what they could see, he was a red earth pony with a blue, spikey mane. A thin necklace of bronze rested around his neck and it appeared that he was wearing a brown cape behind him. He cleared his throat before opening his green eyes.
“Court is now in session for the trial of Righty Tidy,” he stated matter-of-factly.
“The Great and Powerful defense is ready, your honor,” declared Trixie.
“The prosecution is ready, your honor.”
It was just then that Trixie got a good look at who was standing across from her. Her eyes snapped wide open when she saw the gray unicorn pony with a brown mane and a pair of low-position glasses.
“Sonata?” She couldn’t stop her mouth from uttering the name.
“Why hello, Trixie,” said Sonata, “Fancy seeing you here.”
His honor looked back and forth between the defense and the prosecution. “You know each other?”
“We met a while ago in this same courtroom,” Sonata answered, “Though, I wonder why she jumped ship to the defense.” She turned back to look at Trixie. “Aren’t you more comfortable in a position where you can accuse others of wrongdoing? You’re not exactly the type of pony to levitate a flying cart away from a pony in danger.”
Trixie’s hat briefly flew off as she grit her teeth. It landed back on her head just as she managed to stutter a response.
“I... I don’t have to answer that!” she exclaimed in a huff.
“Getting nervous before the trial even starts?” Sonata smirked. “That’s a bad omen for you.”
The judge cleared his throat. “I’m afraid I’m going to have to ask that personal discussions be saved for after court.”
You’re the one who asked if we knew each other in the first place! Trixie screamed greatly and powerfully in her head at his honor, though he seemed to be completely unfazed by her mind’s volume.
“Right then,” said Sonata. She took a moment to readjust her spectacles before reading a file that she was levitating in front of her. “Yesterday evening at approximately 7:00 PM, the body of a mare named Nurse Coldheart was found inside the house of Righty Tidy. The cause of death was murder, via knife wound. The prosecution submits the autopsy report and murder weapon that was found at the scene as evidence.”
His honor nodded. “The court accepts these two pieces of evidence.”
“Coldheart Autopsy Report” was added to the Court Record.
“Bloody Knife” was added to the Court Record.
“The Royal Guard suspects Righty Tidy as the killer, as she was found the closest to the body at the time of its discovery.” Sonata completed her presentation of the case.
The judge crossed his front hooves. “The evidence at hoof isn’t enough to support or deny this accusation. Ms. Sonata, do you have a witness that you can call to the stand?”
A twinkle flashed along Sonata’s glasses. “I can do better than that, your honor.”
That can’t be good, thought Trixie as she willed the sweat drop on her head to go back into her pore.
Sonata pointed a hoof forward. “The prosecution calls Righty Tidy to the stand.”
His honor raised an eyebrow. “The defendant?”
“That won’t be a problem. Will it, Trixie?” asked Sonata.
Lucy already gave Trixie a rundown of what she remembers from that day, thought Trixie, All she has to do is say the same details to the court and we’ll be all set.
“Very well, Sonata,” Trixie finally replied, “Trixie will play your game.” She turned to the other court participant. “Your honor, the great and powerful defense has no objections to this call.”
The judge nodded. “Bring Righty Tidy to the stand at once.”
---
“Witness,” addressed Sonata, “State your name and occupation, please.”
“My name is Righty Tidy,” said Lucy, “I’m a new member of the labor force because I’m currently searching for a job.”
“The court wishes to hear you testify about what you were doing around the time of the murder,” stated his honor.
Witness Testimony
“Nurse Coldheart was scheduled to meet me yesterday as part of my routine checkup.”
“She came to my house about 5:15.”
“She asked her usual questions. ‘How are you feeling?’ ‘Notice any signs of reverting?’ That kind of thing.”
“It kind of devolved into a small-talk chat about everything and nothing. Heh heh. Before I knew it, the minutes had passed like crazy.”
“I must have been pretty tired. I remember waking up and it was sunset.”
“When I looked around, I was speechless at the sight of an unmoving Nurse Coldheart in a puddle of red.”
“Next thing I knew, Royal Guards were taking me away to the detention center.”
---
All right, Trixie smirked, Let’s see Sonata take apart that testimony.
The judge blinked. “Huh, I didn’t know doctors still made house calls.”
“I’m sure we’ll clear things up through the next part, your honor,” said Sonata.
His honor nodded. “Ms. Trixie, you may begin your cross-examination.”
Wait, what?! Trixie's great and powerful eyes opened wide. “But, that’s my client.”
“Oh, dear,” Sonata said with a small smile, “Are you that unfamiliar with how the defense’s job works? It’s your job to review what every witness says in their testimony and point out any contradictions.”
“Yes,” affirmed his honor, “When you agreed to let the defendant take the stand, you agreed to cross-examine her just as you would any other witness.”
“Not so easy when you have to play angel’s advocate, is it?” mocked Sonata.
Celestia banish it! Trixie silently growled. That sneaky soul-viewer tricked Trixie. She took a breath. Fine, you want Trixie to cross-examine and do the work for you? Gladly. All Trixie has to do is press a little. Trixie won’t find any contradictions in some pony who is telling the truth.
Sonata’s disarming smile told another story, however.
Cross-Examination
“Nurse Coldheart was scheduled to meet me yesterday as part of my routine checkup.”
Hold it!
“Would you kindly tell us what the routine checkup was for?” inquired Trixie.
“I might as well.” Lucy shrugged. “For a few years, I was diagnosed as a mental patient. Recently, however, the nurse ponies at Ponyville Hospital have confirmed that I’m recovering quickly. I’m really grateful to them and all they’ve done for me.”
“Mental patient?” echoed the judge. “Ms. Sonata, wouldn’t that make her testimony ineligible for the court record?”
“The doctors at that hospital have legitimate records,” Sonata assured, “Those records show that Righty Tidy was recovering quite smoothly. Her testimony is good enough to examine and compare discrepancies.”
“Okay, I suppose,” his honor agreed. “No wisdom like the good doctor. Continue, witness.”
“She came to my house about 5:15.”
Hold it!
“And you’re certain about the time?” Trixie was just trying to clarify.
“Yeah.” Lucy nodded. “Nurse Coldheart set up that clock in my house about three months ago and even fine-tuned it every other week.”
That name is quite misleading, Trixie thought to herself, How can a cold heart be so warm and kind?
“She asked her usual questions. ‘How are you feeling?’ ‘Notice any signs of reverting?’ That kind of thing.”
Hold it!
“The Great and Powerful Trixie already knows this, but for the sake of the others in this courtroom, what are the ‘signs of reverting’?”
“Well, I vaguely remember the earlier days of my rehabilitation,” Lucy reminisced, “I had similar instinctual urges to those of a dog, like barking and chasing my own tail. Ha ha! I can look back at that and laugh.”
Yes, it’s very amusing to listen to again. Trixie was failing to fight the shaking smile on her face. Pfft! Ha ha ha ha ha! Luckily, she was not failing the fight against laughing out loud.
“It kind of devolved into a small-talk chat about everything and nothing. Heh heh. Before I knew it, the minutes had passed like crazy.”
Hold it!
“We’ll have to decide what’s ‘everything and nothing’,” commented Trixie, “What did you talk about?”
Lucy tapped her chin. “Let’s see. She asked about what I had for lunch. I asked her how the other patients and doctors at the hospital were doing. Oh, yeah! There was a funny joke about Goldie Delicious.”
“Goldie Delicious?” echoed his honor. “I’ve seen her before. She lives downstream from town a ways, right?”
“Yeah, she was one of the first friends I made outside of the hospital staff.” Lucy smiled.
“Hm, all right.” The judge nodded. “Continue your testimony.”
“I must have been pretty tired. I remember waking up to find it was sunset.”
Hold it!
“You fell asleep right in the middle of your conversation with Nurse Coldheart?” Trixie powerfully paraphrased. “That’s new to me, Lefty Lucy.”
“It’s Righty Tidy,” the current witness corrected.
“Right, what did Trixie say?” asked Trixie.
Objection!
Sonata crossed her hooves. “While I find it very entertaining listening to Ms. Trixie constantly mispronounce names, it doesn’t exactly help continue this cross-examination in an efficient manner.”
“Quite right,” the judge agreed. “Ms. Trixie, would you mind sticking to your cross-examination and not get hung up on how a pony’s name is pronounced?”
“Yes, your honor,” Trixie relented with a sigh. There is nothing wrong with the way Trixie pronounces ennething.
I’d point out the mistake with that thought, but it’s too easy, thought Sonata.
“When I looked around, I was speechless at the sight of an unmoving Nurse Coldheart in a puddle of red.”
Hold it!
“So by the time you woke up, she was already dead,” was Trixie’s great and powerful conclusion.
“Yeah.” Lucy looked down. Her lip quivered. Her eyes looked shaky, threatening to release a small river. “I wish I could have done more for her. But there wasn’t enough time to act, because…”
“Next thing I knew, the Royal Guards were taking me away to the detention center.”
Hold it!
“So amidst all the chaos, you never actually witnessed the moment of the crime?” Trixie asked.
“I’m afraid not.” Lucy shook her head. “I miss her already.”
“Well, that was completely pointless,” huffed Trixie, “What gives, Sonata? You called her up here only to show that she doesn’t have any new information to provide for this case.”
Sonata’s small smile did not waver. “Oh, I wouldn’t say that. Now that you’ve gotten a taste for how being an attorney works, you should be well prepared for my decisive witness.”
“Decisive witness?” The sweat was clearly visible on Trixie’s head.
Sonata held her glasses in place with her hoof. “Yes. This next witness will seal the fate of your client and prove her guilt right here and now.”
Echoes filled the hall as various ponies in the courtroom speculated on the current situation. Who was this decisive witness? What could they possibly say that would cinch this case once and for all?
*Tap!* *Tap!* *Tap!*
“Order! Order in the court!” commanded his honor. “You’re that certain about this next witness?”
“But of course, your honor.” Sonata nodded.
“Fine then,” he stated, “Bring this ‘decisive’ witness of yours to the stand.”
---
The pony currently at the stand was quite large. He had the calm, collected look of an actor that had fully memorized his lines. Though, his monocle and white doctor’s coat suggested a slightly different profession. Two off-white wings were neatly folded on either of his sides.
“Witness,” addressed Sonata, “Please state your name and occupation for the court.”
“I am Dr. Eye Alex Digit,” the stallion stated boldly, “I’m an optometrist.”
“An optometrist?” blurted Trixie, “What would an optometrist be doing out and about during the night?”
“If you’d learn to exercise a bit of patience,” Sonata said with a glare, “then he will get the chance to tell us.”
“And if you wouldn’t interrupt,” Trixie countered, “we could get right to that after Trixie is finished.”
Sonata crossed her hooves again.
Dr. Digit took a moment to breathe on his monocle before wiping it with a cloth.
The judge coughed.
“Okay, Trixie is finished.” Trixie wore a great and powerful scowl.
“Right, then.” His honor nodded. “Dr. Digit, please answer the court’s question: What did you see on the night of the murder?”
“I thought you’d never ask.” Dr. Digit’s monocle twinkled.
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I was hoping to churn out something before this week got busy, but the thought of trying to "fix" this idea wouldn't leave me alone. So after a few nights of typing thoughts down and slow edits, I thought, Eh, what the heck? I'm going to go for it.
Have something more for your "Read Later" list if you want it.
Trixie may experience kindness; from her own self, perhaps?
Fight on, Trixie~
You'll need to just as much.
Evidently, this terrible fate will be averted.
Awaiting further releases.
This is interesting and I will follow it. I hope that you've prepared the lengthy and convoluted process of this trial so you don't end it too quickly or paint yourself into a corner.
I'm hoping Sonata is being an Edgeworth kind of prosecutor, rather than the jerk kind who just wants to win for personal glory. The games establish that Wright needs to trust fully in his defendant's innocence, while Edgeworth believes fully in their guilt, as opposed to the more corrupt characters of the series. Given Sonata's eye-opener in Turnabout Storm, I wouldn't put it past her to be serious about her position... ribbing and bickering with Trixie nonwithstanding, naturally. That's par for the course.
So Sonata read Trixie's thoughts? Is she taking fourth wall breaking lessons from Pinkie Pie?
4067817 , Well, there was that one time where Sonata knew that Pinkie Pie was thinking about ladders...
4067894 Granted, Phoenix did say he could have gotten that himself.
I believe that this line
Though, I wonder why she jumped shift to the defense.”
Should be
Though, I wonder why she jumped ship to the defense.”
But really good story so far!
All of the yes.
Also, Dr. Eye Alex Digit. D.E.A.D. Clever.