Schism

by Sev

Chapter Four

Chapter Four

“This doesn’t make you meaningless, you know,” Luna said, matter of factually. Twilight didn't lift her head. She was still parsing information, running it through the myriad of encyclopedic references she had in her brain, checking and cross checking, looking for clues and confirmations that could either back up or dismiss Luna's story. There wasn’t much. Her life, her upbringing, the serendipitous chance that brought her and Celestia together so many years ago. Could...that...have been engineered? Was that even possible? Yet, with so long, so many decades and centuries to carefully plan out all the variables...

“Twilight.”

Luna's voice had taken a sharper edge, intended to snap Twilight out of her daze. She blinked.

“...I...”

“Shhh.” Luna's response was quick and terse, but she had a small smile on. “Don't think about it yet, you're just digging a hole for yourself when you don't need to.”

“But...if I'm just a-”

“You are not 'just' an anything.” Luna responded, leaning down and brining her face close to Twilight's. “You are Twilight Sparkle. You were born with the greatest burden on your shoulders of any pony in Equestria and you never even knew it, and when the time came, you did not disappoint. I didn't bring you all the way out here to crush your self worth, Twilight.” her voice softened, and she sniffed a bit, the shine returning to her eyes. “I brought you out here to thank you. You saved me. You didn't know you were doing it, you may not have even meant to do it. But you did. For Celestia's master plan to work required the efforts of one singularly brilliant little pony, and that was you.” she giggled, and choked back a sob. “Thank you, Twilight.”

Luna's wing draped around the blanket shielding Twilight from the cold, and her forehead rested against the other pony's. Twilight felt tears hit her snout, and it took her a moment to realize they weren’t her own. Luna was silently sobbing, with little to give it away save for the small, quiet shudders in her chest. Realization slowly dawned on Twilight, and she felt a stab of sorrow in her chest like a twisting knife. “You couldn't tell anyone,” Twilight said softly, “Thats what you told me. No pony knows the full story because it would put Equestria at risk of releasing Discord again.” she swallowed, “No pony but me. Thats what you came here for. You just wanted somepony to know the truth”

That was enough to send Luna over the edge. She wailed openly in a flood of emotion that had been all but unimaginable not an hour before, and sobbed openly on Twilight's shoulder. The purple pony brought her hoof around Luna's neck and held her close.

“I...just...wanted..some-”

This time it was Twilight who softly hushed the other pony. she chewed her lip and stroked Luna's mane, holding her until her sobbing calmed enough to form coherent sentences. She didn't try and keep track of how much time passed, but it was no short ordeal. Every new minute seemed to awaken Luna to some new inner terror she'd held at bay for countless decades, and with her walls finally down, there was nothing to do but let them out. She was screaming at one point, some primal, world shaking howl that made Twilight tremble with sympathetic agony, but she held on, until it was all out, and Luna rested on Twilight's side, exhausted from the sudden, intense deluge of feeling.

“One thousand years,” Luna said softly, after the torrent had stopped and they had been silent for some time, “is a very...long time...to hate a thing.” Her voice was evening now, spaced only as she breathed, rather than between crying. Twilight was amazed she still had the energy to speak after what had just happened. “It fills you and sustains you and...feeds on itself. Its a terrible thing, and the worse part about it is, you start to need it. Hate fuels more hate, and up there, with nothing but this undying rage in my heart, it...just...” she sighs. “Im empty, Twilight. I don't know how to fill that void. When Celestia destroyed the physical manifestation of my connection to the elements of eternity she freed me from the bindings I had built around myself. I could see again. I could be...me. But its like having the wind pulled from your sails. I've had this..wretched, horrible, twisted companion rotting in my guts for ten centuries...but it has still been a companion.”

She looked up, as though trying to make Twilight understand by beaming emotion through her eyes. “I've stood on the palace balcony every night for the past year trying to find some way to fill myself with...meaning. With purpose, with joy and laughter and the wonderful things we BUILT Equestria to be full of, but I cant find it. Celestia has the joy and reverence of all of equestria to fill the empty parts of her eternal life, but me...” she laughs, despite herself. “How cruel a joke would it be, that after all this, after all her plans and careful machinations to finally save me from Nightmare Moon, that I would come back to a world that would rather I never returned.” She sniffs, “Or worse...that just doesn’t need me either way.”

Twilight wanted to offer some sort of encouragement, but could find nothing that didn't sound trite or meaningless. What could she offer that would make even a dent in a thousand years of emptiness? The task seemed all but impossible. Luna must have noticed her trying to mouth words without sound, because she smiled and chuckled a bit, sitting up. “You don't need to solve my problems in a night, Twilight, I promise. I didn't come here with that sort of expectation.”

“oh, phew.” Twilight breathed, finding herself genuinely relieved. Luna laughed and put a hoof on Twilight's head.

“You've done more already than you can possibly imagine. I...I guess I had no idea how much I needed to do that.” she snickered a little, then broke out into a genuine, giddy laugh that Twilight found herself swept up into. Before long both of them were laughing out loud, rolling on grass still wet with tears and the cold dew of the early morning.

“Were animals nocturnal before you and Princess Celestia changed how everything worked?” Twilight asked curiously as she strode alongside Luna on the way back toward Ponyville. The sky was brightening slowly, it wouldn't be long before the sun crested the mountains. Twilight was exhausted, but the sheer energy of the night's emotional interaction had kept her going. None the less, the idea of hitting a bed when she got back into town made her legs tremble with anticipation.

“Yep,” Luna replied. Her stature and body language had improved dramatically since the ordeal on the hilltop. There was a spring in her step that had been absent before, and while she still had a sort of sly sarcasm to her language, there was a greater emphasis on playfulness than had been there earlier. Twilight found the whole package rather delightful. These two could have battles of witticism that would be fit for legend.
Assuming Twilight wasn’t half asleep at the time.

“Most of them anyway,” Luna continued, “I altered a few. At the time it was to help keep ponies safe from them. Ursa Major's, for instance, didn't really care WHAT time of day it was if they were in a foul mood. Now at least they stay out of most ponies way during daylight hours.”

“So...you could do that? You could make some animals nocturnal?”

“C'mon, Twilight,” Luna said with a smirk, “I can make the moon wink at you. Of course I can make animals nocturnal.”

“So...why not ponies?” Twilight asked, genuinely perplexed, “I mean that seems like the obvious solution to the issue of no pony staying out during the night to appreciate it, right?”

“You've only existed during an age of manufactured peace,” Luna explained, “for as long as your history records, everypony has gotten along great, right? But Celestia and I know better. Back before we changed the seasons, things between different types of ponies were reaaaaallly...unpleasant. Ponies got hurt. Killed, even. Fights and feuds were common. If we'd deliberately sundered them into sun ponies and moon ponies on TOP of forcing them to handle the seasons, what do you suppose would have happened?”

Twilight sighed. “I suppose they would have fought.” Which was a difficult enough concept to swallow, but she could see the logic behind it.

“Especially with Nightmare Moon serving as the patron of the night,” Luna added, reminding her. “I've never asked Celestia, but I wouldn’t be surprised if that contributed to the decision not to at least try it out.”

“Do you resent her?” Twilight asked tentatively. She took note of her own tone while she posed the question. She found it sympathetic but direct, the way she might ask the same question of one of her friends, rather than how she might ask Celestia. In fact she doubted she'd ask Celestia that question at all. Of course, Celestia had never broken down on her shoulder for half the night. There was a certain level of familiarity that came from seeing one's soul laid bare.

“For what?”

“Any of it. All of it.”

“No,” Luna replied, looking out toward the town in the distance as they walked. “I did, of course. For a thousand years. Losing the physical part of your Element sort of...resets things. The power remains in the essence, inside yourself, just like how it did with you and the others when I shattered the stones that made the elements of Harmony, but for the full power of the element to return takes time, and the focus of the physical object. The crown has actually reformed, and Celestia has already put it my room as a gesture of trust.” she smiles a bit, “I think she trusts me more than I trust myself. Im not willing to put it back on yet. She wants me to, I know. Things are different now, theres time for me to properly exercise control of the aggressive portions of the element with the patient portions, and exert my will over it instead of letting it drag me around, but...well...” she looks over at twilight and shrugs. “would YOU be in a hurry to put it back on? You don't even wear your crown.”

Twilight blinked. She hadn't really considered that before. “Wear the element of magic? Regularly?” she mulled that over for a moment, “I guess I never considered it...appropriate. It seemed like one of those things that should only be used in emergencies.”

Luna nodded, “You're right, in a way. It diminishes the temptation to abuse the power. But you earned that crown, Twilight. Its yours by right. If you wanted to, you could start wearing it and learn to use its power more effectively.”

Twilight pondered that, before snorting suddenly and nudging Luna with her hip. “You dodged my question.”

Luna laughed. “Caught me, huh. You're right, it would be easy to resent a lot of it. The fake story, the lack of any mention of the schism or my roll in it. Sending Nightmare to the moon for a thousand years. Hate is a familiar feeling, I'm sure it wouldn't take much to start feeding it again.” she sighed and smiled, shaking her head. “But I don't want to. And its...really wonderful to finally be able to see all the good things shes been doing in the meantime. She succeed where I failed, and she got me back, here, as myself again. It took a while, but really? A thousand years?” she looked up at the fading stars, “What's a thousand years, Twilight, compared to eternity.”

It wasn’t until they were trotting back into town and the sun was beaming the first rays of morning across the dew-soaked windows of Ponyville's various pastel colored houses that Twilight hit a sudden burst of inspiration. “You said....you said if you forced half the ponies to be nocturnal, they'd resent it. It would cause some sort of divide that might lead to more fighting, right?”

“Right. At the time, anyway. Wounds were still pretty fresh back then. These days it would probably be interpreted as me trying to take over Equestria,” she chuckled, “not much of an improvement.”

“What if ponies volunteered?” Twilight asked, stopping for a moment. Luna slowed to a stop as well, lifting a brow.

“Volunteered? To be made nocturnal?”

“Yes!”

“What pony would do that?” Luna asked incredulously. “The night has a lot to offer, but to give up the sun means leaving a world of warmth and light and company and friends, all the parts that make up a pony and have for generations. You live in a culture that worships the sun, Twilight. I could see, I don't know, a handful of ponies that might make some impulse decision to do it just to be different, but a community? To willingly give up the life they love?”

“So don't start with a community,” Twilight replied, grinning. “Start with one. And her fillies, and her fillies' fillies. Whats a few generations next to eternity, right?”

Luna blinked, seemingly taken aback by the idea that any pony would willing give up life in the sun to join her after so many years of cultural heliocentric emphasis. She looked up at Twilight. “But who would-”

“I would.” Twilight responded, and shocked herself the moment she said it. Would she? Would she really? She wasn’t just any pony, either, she was the star student of Celestia the Sun pony. Would becoming nocturnal mean giving all that up? Thankfully, Luna didn't immediately jump on the chance.

“That's not a decision you can make on twenty four hours without sleep, Twilight,” She replied, but she smiled. “Thank you, though.” She looked like she was going to dismiss the whole suggestion as the delirium of a sleep deprived mind, but Twilight knew it was more than that. She may be tired, but she was also on to something.

“Luna, wait.” Luna? The 'princess' prefix had been completely dropped. Somehow that felt right. Luna looked back, and Twilight stepped up beside her. “You're right,” she said, “Its not something I should be deciding right now. But...its also not something I want to just give up. I've spent my entire life learning, and I think I might have picked up more in the last night I spent with you on a hilltop than I have in a decade of magic school. Being nocturnal doesn’t mean I have to hide from the sun like its going to melt me. It just means I'm changing my living schedule a bit. Let me think it over?”

Luna stayed still for a moment, before breaking out in a smile and hugging Twilight around the neck. She sniffed back a tear and stepped backward, nodding. “think it over,” she said. “There's...there's a lot involved, a lot to consider. You should talk to your friends. Talk to Celestia, even. And me. You can always talk to me. No letters, ok? Come outside and look at the moon and ask. Ill come.” she chuckles, “I haven't got much else to do these days anyway.” Twilight smiled and nodded, yawning. Luna laughed. “Go, go, your dragon is probably worried sick about you by now.”

Twilight's eyes shot open. “SPIKE!” she exclaimed in alarm, “Oh no! I told him to go wait at fluttershy's until I went to get him! That was before we started talking, he's probably got her so worried by now they'll go off and start a search party!”

Luna made a concerned face. “uh oh..”

“You've gotta get out of here, they've had all night to blow things out of proportion” twilight fretted, “Ill go to Fluttershy's and deal with it, you just pop out of here before some pony see's you and starts imagining things!” Luna nodded, and gave Twilight a final hug with her wing. “You make sure you get some sleep, ok?”

“I will, and Ill talk to you again when I wake up!” she promised. Luna smiled, and faded from view in a swirl of black. The magical manifestation of her teleportation was different than Twilight's, less of a pop, more of a phase. Inwardly, Twilight wondered why, but she was more concerned with solving what was sure to be a grossly inflated situation at Fluttershy's cottage. Hopefully nopony had started up fires and collected pitchforks yet...

Comments

[Jordan179]

“You are not 'just' an anything.” Luna responded, leaning down and brining her face close to Twilight's. “You are Twilight Sparkle. You were born with the greatest burden on your shoulders of any pony in Equestria and you never even knew it, and when the time came, you did not disappoint. I didn't bring you all the way out here to crush your self worth, Twilight.” her voice softened, and she sniffed a bit, the shine returning to her eyes. “I brought you out here to thank you. You saved me. You didn't know you were doing it, you may not have even meant to do it. But you did. For Celestia's master plan to work required the efforts of one singularly brilliant little pony, and that was you.” she giggled, and choked back a sob. “Thank you, Twilight.”

Very much my Luna's attitude toward Twilight -- plus for reasons having to do with stuff which happened before either of them was in their current flesh, Luna likes her even more. For the equivalent scene in my fics, try "A Meeting By Moonlight." But the gratitude for saving her from the Nightmare is pretty much canonical in the TV series too -- and notice later how Twilight helps Luna out in "Luna Eclipsed." Twilight is one of the few modern ponies who understands Luna.

Of course Luna would always be something of a misfit among normal Ponies -- there's a specific reason why in my verse, which applies as well to Celestia -- but Luna's never been as good at maintaining a facade as is Celestia.

“What if ponies volunteered?” Twilight asked, stopping for a moment. Luna slowed to a stop as well, lifting a brow.

Ah, so your Moon Ponies are Twilight's idea! I rather like that ... Twilight's innovative in canon.

I use Georg's concept of the Nocturnes to explain some of the Night Guards (the "bat ponies") but the two concepts are not logically exclusive.

I also agree with your analysis that one thing Luna really likes Twilight for is her intellect. But then, who in their right minds wouldn't admire that about Twilight Sparkle?

Admittedly, intellect is one of the things I admire about my own wife in reality, so I may be prejudiced in that regard.