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Devilishly sexy if I dare say.

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Wooooooooooooooooow...........that's some of the best vinyl and octy clop I've seen XD

3930646

Agreed. Good way of ending it too.

3931750
3931693

Thanks to you both!

Hmm... a little quick for my tastes and I did noticed a few errors in it. For instance you wrote Vinyls which should actually be Vinyl's. You also spelled Vinyl wrong at one point near the beginning. You also had a part that should have been in italics to make it come across as thoughts.

I'm sure whatever Octavia wanted could wait a few minutes.

You also seemed to switch tenses here.

Vinyl decided to walk down the path. This was Octavia, whatever she was doing, it wouldn't be of any harm to me. So what did I have to fear? I walked carefully down the path.

i also noticed this sentence.

A soft whimper of disappointment seeped from Vinyls lips as she was once again left alone. 'How was Octavia doing this?' Vinyl thought. 'It's like she knows every move I'm going to make,'

again, thoughts look better when italicized and you ended the last bit with a comma. should a be period.

Though it was rather short and not exactly 100% clop, it's a good start to a story. You can easily improve on this and turn it into something good.

3932672

All corrected except for the comma. I decided to keep that as a stylistic choice, as it makes you read the sentence a certain way.

EDIT: I decided that an exclamation point works better.

Me thinks Vinyl went music shopping that night.

3933281 totally correct. She probably bought some Coltzart. "Mozart"

Very sexy.

Quite a quick little chapter.

There were several errors and missing words throughout, but the overall idea of the story is interesting. It had a nice tone and aside the speed of how fast it went, it felt like a nice build in if you wish to continue with more to the story to come.

Fair warning to all: Uncover and read this at your own risk.

Ow ow ow ow ow.. to be honest, a bow on your clit would hurt! I play violin, and I get cuts from my bow's constantly breaking threads, so that on my clitoris? I imagine tiny paper cuts on the most sensetive part of the body!