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The letter

Chrysalis sends a letter to a victim of her attack.

Criticisms are encouraged, excessive negativity is frowned upon, unless reason is stated.

Chapters (5)

Late night · 28th Jan 2014 · 932 words
932
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The beginning of change · 29th Jan 2014 · 788 words
788
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The question · 2nd Feb 2014 · 929 words
929
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The doubting · 5th Mar 2014 · 838 words
838
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The cold · 16th Aug 2014 · 606 words
606
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Comments ( 4 )

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KibaWR

KibaWR #1 · Mar 6th, 2014 · · · Late night ·

Uhm.... Did Chrysalis' letter that she was about to sent to canerlot tomorrow just appear in her own study? You should make it more clear where exacty this study is and who it belongs to. Also, work a bit on your sentences. Some of them are a bit too long. Aside from that I really like the idea youre going for with this^^

zoruatrainer66

zoruatrainer66 #2 · Mar 6th, 2014 · · · The doubting ·

4040832 I don't see where you see that, the idea of the beginning is to leave the mares identity to the imagination.

Oh, after reading that part over again I see where you got confused. No, the mare in question wrote a letter detailing her experience in the changeling attack, before she goes to bed, a letter is sent to her from chrysalis.

KibaWR

KibaWR #3 · Mar 6th, 2014 · · · The beginning of change ·

not much to say here aside from break up your sentences^^ Some of your sentences could broken into several if you switched some comma with periods which would be good for the flow of the story. It would be easier to read.

KibaWR