Different world. Different rules. I am percived as an animal, A beast who is nothing but food or decoration for rich griffons. But still, I have a friend... whom may be able to help me reach my salvation... I just hope there is one to reach for.
3839376 Why Thank you. It means alot coming from you. It hurts alot more than it should considering I have gotten zero feedback on what I can improve upon.
Alone in this Chapter you landed in the Gryphon land, in a, lets say it, human-meat-factory, get through torture by griffins and then landed as a pet by the side of the griffin princess.
Take your time to write chapters and explain some things a bit more.
I will still give you a thumb up for courage for not using the typicall "mane six" Story.
Great Thanks for the feedback! I will add in additional content in chapter one. I haev the big time gap To work with so shouldn`t be a problem. Thanks again for feedback.
I noticed a recurring spelling error throughout your chapter that you might want to think about fixing. Periodically you would use the word "tough" instead of "though" and was becoming quite annoying due to its repeated occurrence. There were a few other words that had similar issues but I figured that if you are going to take the time to find the issue listed above then you would also find the other misspelled words as well, or at least I hope.
Other than the slightly odd phrasing and run on sentence, the overall chapter wasn't bad and I do plan on reading the others. The setting is interesting enough to warrant further reading and as it stands there hasn't been a "your human and you" spin off that I have started reading that has disappointed me yet. So I look forward to seeing what you have planned.
By the way thank you for adding at the bottom what snus is, because I did not have the faintest idea.
I am displeased this had 1 view and 5 dislikes. Where's the sense in that?!
Anyway, I thought it was a decent start, and will be looking for more!
3839376 Why Thank you. It means alot coming from you. It hurts alot more than it should considering I have gotten zero feedback on what I can improve upon.
3839384 I have a feeling some people just down vote whenever the see the human tag, which is rather a dick move to do.
That, or some people are getting annoyed with all the Your Human and You stories that are coming out.
Either way, I looked forward to seeing where you will take this.
TOO FAST!!!
Alone in this Chapter you landed in the Gryphon land, in a, lets say it, human-meat-factory, get through torture by griffins and then landed as a pet by the side of the griffin princess.
Take your time to write chapters and explain some things a bit more.
I will still give you a thumb up for courage for not using the typicall "mane six" Story.
3839399
Great Thanks for the feedback! I will add in additional content in chapter one. I haev the big time gap To work with so shouldn`t be a problem. Thanks again for feedback.
3839448 No problem. When the additional content is good, I give you a favorite. Promise!
3839392 Oh come now, we only have 11 stories now. (At the current rate of 2 new stories a week )
3839392
Thats pretty normal here. Every story with a human tag will get downvotes.
It seems alright so far. Nothing exactly exemplary, but definitely not bad. I'll fave for now, but I'm watching you buster...
3839772 15 spin-offs at the moment
2 days, 4 more stories... IT'S GROWING EXPONENTIALLY! RUN FOR YOUR LIVES!
3845366 ill keep that in mind. ;-)
Look at the blog post guys and girls if you want any information related to the re-release of the first chapter.
I don't know I kind of preferred the first version. Plus you need a bit of editing here I think.
If you need an editor, I can help with that.
Please get an editor. And if you won't at least start spelling "stupide" the right way ("stupid". No "e").
hummmm
ah, snus... I remember how sickening that was trying to keep it between my teeth and lip. So funny finding a mention of it here.
I noticed a recurring spelling error throughout your chapter that you might want to think about fixing. Periodically you would use the word "tough" instead of "though" and was becoming quite annoying due to its repeated occurrence. There were a few other words that had similar issues but I figured that if you are going to take the time to find the issue listed above then you would also find the other misspelled words as well, or at least I hope.
Other than the slightly odd phrasing and run on sentence, the overall chapter wasn't bad and I do plan on reading the others. The setting is interesting enough to warrant further reading and as it stands there hasn't been a "your human and you" spin off that I have started reading that has disappointed me yet. So I look forward to seeing what you have planned.
By the way thank you for adding at the bottom what snus is, because I did not have the faintest idea.
Camel carries a snus product (if not the same then at least in name) that we carry at my workplace.