The Most Dangerous Game

by uberPhoenix

Notes From the Desolation

Your name is Rainbow Dash.

Sweet CELESTIA do you love the WONDERBOLTS.

You want to join them as they soar through the skies, engaging in MANUEVERS BOTH DARING AND POTENTIALLY DELETERIOUS. To that end, you have been practicing your tricks every day in the hopes that a STRAY TALENT SCOUT might notice you, so that you might ascend the RUNGS OF FAME AND GLORY.

Thus far your attempts have mostly landed you in the hospital. But you refuse to give up, because if there is one trait that defined you, it would be your TENACITY.

If there happened to be another trait that also defined you, it would be your LOYALTY. You would never betray your friends. Friendship is THICKER THAN BLOOD, you say. And it's true. As it would turn out, you recently discovered that your friends and family may have been ONE AND THE SAME the whole time, via a complicated reach-around scheme broiled in the depths of SKAIA.

You have also recently developed a bit of a habit for READING ADVENTURE STORIES, thanks to your friend Twilight. You can never put them down without wondering what's going to happen on the NEXT PAGE. You particularly like DARING DO, because she is JUST SO SPUNKY.

What will you do?

You will write in your journal, of course. Your friend TWILIGHT SPARKLE has entrusted you with documenting the end of the world.

[obstinateNarcoleptic created journal entry “Notes from the Desolation”]

It's all gone.

I don't want to believe it. Ponyville is gone. Equestria is gone.

I'm pretty sure the pony race is done for too, seeing as there's only the six of us left. I don't think it's really hit me yet, what's happened. The scale of it.

Gilda. She's probably dead.

Cheerilie. I'm never going to see her again.

I think I'm beginning to grasp exactly what I've lost.

So many other ponies. I won't list them here. It would take too long, and I don't think that's what Twilight wants.

Frankly, I don't think this is what she wants, either. She said we need to record our story. Tell what happened. But tell who? There's nopony here but us.

Twilight said she doesn't know. But she thinks there's a way she can put what we write out there so other ponies can read it, just on the off-chance that somehow, somewhere, somepony survived. Something about “a server in the Furthest Ring.” Whatever that means. I agreed to do it because she has a point. If there is someone else out there (and I say someone else now because it might not be a pony, I don't care, I just want to get out of here) then I want to find them. And I want them to find us. But I'm also writing this because if I don't, I'm going to explode. The past twenty four hours have been a hurricane of stuff happening that I haven't been able to keep up with it all. But now that I'm calming down, I can't understand how I managed to keep myself together before now.

I'm going to say it one more time, because I don't think it's sunk in for me yet.

Equestria was wiped off the map. It's gone. Capish. The princesses. If anyone survived, it's them. Twilight's trying to contact them, see if they can arrange a rescue, but it's a no-go so far.

Twilight said that what I'm doing right now is called “Stream of Consciousness Writing.” It's when I just write the first thing that comes to mind without bothering to think about whether it sounds right or not. She said that's fine. If I have things I need to get out, I should get them out. She also said my grammar is atrocious, but that she's going to edit it and fix it up before she uploads it.

However, she says that I still need to tell you my story.

Look, you. I don't know if you're a pony. Hay, I don't know if you're even there. I'm going to pretend that you are. Because knowing that someone, somewhere is reading this is making me feel a little better. I'm going to tell you my story, and you're going to listen. Because someone needs to know what I've been through.

I don't know where to start. I could start at the very beginning, time-wise, but I don't think that's smart. Because this story goes back over a thousand years, and I wasn't there. Plus, that part's boring. And isn't really important yet. I mean, technically we caused a lot of it, even though we weren't born then.

I suppose the best place to start is Twilight. She's pretty important. How many times have I mentioned her name already? I haven't told you about the others yet, but they're here. They're important too. They're also my best friends. But I'll get to them soon enough.

You see, Twilight was a student learning about magic underneath Princess Celestia. For a while she moved to Ponyville, where I come from. That's how we met. How we all met, really. She was this shy little klutz that always tried to do everything perfectly. But she didn't understand the first thing about other ponies, which got her into hot water more than once. She had these really big purple eyes that sometimes fell behind her mane, which was just barely long enough to cover them when she got wet.

She was, in a word, absolutely bucking adorable. She was a complete egghead. And then she went away again. The Princess had a special mission for her. Something secret, that she wasn't allowed to talk to us about. We didn't hear from her for a month.

And then the packages started arriving.

I don't think I've ever been as excited as I was the day Derpy flew in with that box from Canterlot. I didn't know any other ponies in Canterlot, so I knew who it was from right away. I was hoping for some sort of apology letter.

It was a book.

Now, I thought this was pretty typical of Twilight. She knew that I'd recently taking a liking to reading adventure stories, so I figured she found a book she thought I would enjoy and she sent it to me. This idea was busted as soon as I looked more closely at the cover.

There weren't any illustrations on the front. Which is okay, I guess. But the title didn't look like anything I'd ever seen before. At first I thought it was a typo.

obstinateNarcoleptic

All one word. Only the N in “Narcoleptic” was capitalized. If it looks familiar to you, that's because the name was at the top of this letter. The name is at the top of this letter because it appears at the top of everything I write in this book. Like magic.

I opened it up to the first page, not knowing what to expect. All I found were more compound nonsense words. Seven of them in total, including the word on the cover. I turned the page, and saw the exact same thing. I skipped through to a random page in the middle of the book. No change. I began flipping through the pages like it was a flip book. Except of course that in a flip book the picture changed, and here it didn't.

At this point, I was beginning to wonder if I wasn't the victim of some practical joke. It wasn't a particularly funny prank, but then again, this was Twilight. Maybe she was trying to learn the magic of being a good prankster, but if she was, she still had a long way to go. I admit I was a little angry at this point. I'd been denied any sort of message from Twilight. I still didn't have the first clue what she'd been up to all this time. My anger went away, almost immediately though, when I realized something.

I hadn't gotten any closer to the end of the book. No matter how much I flipped, there were always more pages to go through. The book must have been magical. I just had to figure out if it did anything else.

Then, in front of my eyes, the pages turned, all by themselves, and the words on the book changed. It now displayed a message.

I hate to break sequence and all, but I want to clarify right now that I'm not rewriting the entire message. That would take far too long, and it would be stupid. I also would not have made sure to get all the colors right, because those were also stupid. Fortunately for me, it turns out that the books have the ability to copy stuff that's already been written, without me having to write each letter by hand. It's really useful, and Twilight showed me how to do it before I started writing this.

Anyway, the message was this:

precognitivePrognostic [PP] began nickering obstinateNarcoleptic [ON]:

PP: Hey rainbow dash!
ON:

I nearly fell over backwards. Holy Hay, the book was talking to me. What was stranger was the line below the greeting. ON stood for obstinateNarcoleptic, that much was pretty obvious. And I was beginning to get the sinking suspicion that ON also meant me. After all, I was the one being nickered. But then who was precognitivePrognostic? It wasn't the book, the cover of the book made it clear that it was also obstinateNarcoleptic. PP had to be somepony else entirely. Maybe if I had a dictionary on me, and I could figure out what “prognostic” meant.

I looked back at the “ON” on the bottom line. Was I supposed to write something there? Was that how I communicated with this PP thing? I didn't want to deface Twilight's book if I wasn't correct, but what else was I supposed to do? I went back inside and dug around my desk until I found a quill. During that time, PP managed to pester me with a few more messages:

PP: I know youre there rainbow dash!
PP: You cant hide from me!

The book made a chirping noise each time a new one appeared. And each time I opened it, no matter what page the book fell open on, I saw the message. What was strange, though, was that while flipping forward in the book continued to do nothing, flipping back wold take me back to the list of names.

Assuming, of course, that they were names. I double checked, and precognitivePrognostic was among them. When I flipped forward again, I was back to looking at my one-sided conversation with PP.

Finally locating a quill, I dipped it in a pot of ink and hesitantly began to write.

ON: who are you
PP: Aww rainbow dash, youre smart enough to figure this out!
PP: Youre one smart cookie!
PP: But lets make this a guessing game!
ON: are you one of my friends
PP: Of course!
PP: Duh!
ON: let me guess
ON: youre writing in a book same as me
ON: a book twilight gave you
ON: im going to guess youre not twilight though
ON: twilight would cringe at those missing upside down comma thingies
PP: Right right and right rainbow dash!
PP: Youre catching on quickly!
PP: Ooh youre good at this game!
ON: let me take a wild stab at this
ON: tons of exclamation points
ON: bright pink letters
ON: annoying as all hay
ON: this isnt even a challenge anymore pinkie pie
ON: give me something harder
PP: Fine then!
PP: Guess where i am right now!

Pinkie Pie was right. That was harder. Like Twilight, Pinkie Pie had also gone strangely missing a couple weeks ago. She didn't keep in touch with her family that much anymore, so it wasn't like she had any real reason to stay in Ponyville. Except for her friends, of course. At first we thought this was another silly game she was playing. But as the days went by and nopony had seen nose or withers of her, we began to grow increasingly anxious. We weren't too worried. After all, Pinkie was a grown mare more than capable of taking care of herself. But the fact that she had suddenly left in the middle of the night just didn't sit well with us.

ON: i give up pinkie pie
ON: where are you
PP: Youre not even trying silly!
PP: Its no fun if you dont even try!
ON: listen to me pinkie
ON: we all freaked out when you left
ON: you have no idea how bad it was for fluttershy
PP: Oh no!
PP: Flutters!
ON: yeah
ON: flutters
PP: I didnt even think about how flutters would handle it!
PP: Im so sorry rainbow dash!
ON: fine
ON: apology accepted
ON: just tell me where you are so i can come and get you
PP: Im in a jungle!
ON: what
ON: like with tigers and stuff
ON: ?
PP: Maybe!
PP: I havent seen any tigers yet!
PP: If i see a tiger ill let you know!
PP: I do see a volcano though!
PP: In fact im right at the edge of it right now!
ON: are you crazy
ON: get away from there
ON: right now
PP: Dont worry!
PP: Its inactive!
PP: I think...
ON: you think
PP: Well i dont really know any good ways to tell!
PP: I suppose if it erupts then thats one way to tell!
PP: But im really really hoping it doesnt!
PP: So until it erupts im going to assume its inactive!
ON: you are crazy
ON: why in the world would you willingly sit on the edge of a volcano
PP: Because i saw it in a dream!
PP: I dreamed i was sitting right here by the volcano!
PP: Writing in a book!
PP: Which i now know is how i get to talk to my friends in the future!
PP: My dreams show me whats going to happen but they dont always explain what they mean!
PP: I didn't know what the book was for until I got here and the book was waiting for me!
PP: So there are still some nice surprises!
PP: Like getting to talk to you!
ON: back up
ON: the book was waiting for you
ON: i thought twilight mailed it to you
PP: How could twilight mail me a book when im out in the middle of a jungle silly!
ON: i guess
ON: but i thought you said that twilight sent you the book
PP: She did!
PP: My book just took a journey that was a little bit longer than yours!
PP: I still haven't charted the entire path of it!
PP: But im pretty sure twilight had a hoof in it somewhere!
PP: Speaking of twilight you should probably talk to her before you lose your chance!
PP: Id talk to her myself, but its complicated!
PP: Just tap her name on the main page!
PP: Or write it at the top of a new page!
PP: Theres lots of ways to do it i think!
ON: lose my chance
ON: ?
ON: why would i lose my chance
PP: Just do it!
PP: Ill be here waiting when youre done!

precognitivePrognostic [PP] ceased nickering obstinateNarcoleptic [ON]

ON: good grief pinkie
ON: pinkie
ON: ?

She wasn't responding. I assumed the message meant she had closed the book or something, and she was now ignoring me. I flipped back a page and found myself looking at the list of names. It was pretty obvious now that five of the names were for each of Twilight's best friends, and one was for herself. I wondered which one was hers, and who the seventh name belonged to.

I don't always listen to Pinkie's suggestions, but she had the right idea. If any of us knew what was going on, it would be Twilight. But I didn't even know which name was hers. I scanned them slowly. Except for two of them, they had words I didn't recognize. Twilight had really worked hard to ensure that I would never be able to pronounce any of these names, let alone spell them. Maybe it was a sign that I should read more.

Looking back over the names, I realized that three of them were brightly lit, while the other four were dull and grayed out. Two of the lit ones were me and Pinkie, and the words were written in our respective colors. The third name was a solid purple. I considered that maybe the lit up names were the ponies who had already received their books? My mail did tend to arrive early in the day. I decided I better give it a shot before the name grayed out like the rest of them. I tapped it with my hoof, and the page turned, displaying a line that was slightly familiar:

obstinateNarcoleptic [ON] began nickering precociousPerfectionist [PP]

ON: twilight
ON: is that you
ON: ?
PP: Rainbow Dash?
PP: Huh. I didn't think you would be the first to figure out how to work this thing.
PP: No offense.
PP: You're not offended, are you?
ON: hays yeah
ON: you implying i cant figure out a silly magic book
ON: ?
ON: thing was a piece of cake
ON: sliced and served with a side of buck you
ON: im not stupid
PP: I'm so sorry, Rainbow Dash!
PP: I didn't mean to imply that you were.
PP: I suppose I should be more careful about how I word things.
ON: nah
ON: its cool
PP: Pardon?
ON: youre right
ON: i didnt know what i was doing until pinkie gave me some help
PP: Pinkie Pie is with you?
ON: what
ON: no
ON: i just got done talking to her with the book
PP: Pestertomes.
ON: what
PP: The books are called Pestertomes.
PP: And Pinkie has hers already? According to my tome, she hasn't opened hers yet.
PP: Her friendhandle is still greyed out.
ON: odd
ON: we just chatted i swear
PP: I guess my tome isn't picking up the signal from hers.
PP: Can't imagine why, though.
PP: How is Pinkie Pie doing, anyway?
PP: Seeing how apparently I can't talk to her.
ON: shes just being pinkie pie
ON: she left ponyville because of some dream where she saw a volcano
ON: so she left to find one
ON: do you think its possible that pinkie pie is seeing the future in her dreams like she told me
ON: like a weird extension of her pinkie sense
ON: i mean the volcanos a sign right
PP: Not necessarily.
PP: She left because she wanted to find the volcano in her dream.
PP: She actively worked to make her vision come true.
PP: Because she had the vision, it ended up becoming a reality.
PP: Here in Canterlot, we call that a self-fulfilling prophecy.
PP: It doesn't mean anything unless Pinkie Pie sees something that she had no way of controlling and no way of knowing about ahead of time.
PP: That would prove it, I think.
PP: But until then, she's just a mare with strange dreams.
ON: so pinkie pie being pinkie pie
PP: Pretty much.
PP: I'm more surprised she was able to get to a volcano in a day.
ON: twilight
ON: pinkie pie left a week or two ago
PP: But you told me you were just talking to her.
ON: yes
ON: over your silly book
PP: Pestertome.
ON: whatever
ON: over perstertome
ON: i thought we'd already been over that
ON: pay attention
PP: But I just mailed her tome to Sugar Cube Corner.
PP: If she left a week ago, how did she get her hands on a tome that arrived in Ponyville today?
ON: its a mystery
ON: and speaking of mysteries
ON: where have you been
ON: whats been keeping you so busy you cant talk to your best friend in equestria
ON: thats me by the way
PP: I'm really sorry, Rainbow Dash.
PP: I've been working on some very urgent things with the princess.
PP: I promise I'll explain eventually.
ON: eventually
ON: as in not now
ON: or anytime in the foreseeable future
PP: You have to understand, Rainbow, that there's a lot more at stake here then you know.
PP: I don't want to speak too soon, but I think that I may have been tasked with saving all of Equestria.
PP: And I may need your help to do it.
PP: When the time comes, the six of us need to be prepared.
PP: I'm just doing my best to ensure our chances of success.
ON: fine
ON: im not saying you have to spill all your state secrets
ON: just try to keep in touch next time
ON: do you really not have time to write to us
ON: ?
PP: Sorry.
PP: That's one of the reasons I made these Pestertomes.
PP: It will let you talk to me any time I'm not busy, without the delays of the mail system.
PP: As an added bonus, I imagine it would help you guys talk to each other too.
ON: fine
ON: just promise me you wont wait months to talk to us again
PP: I promise.
PP: I have to go now. The princess wants to talk to me.
ON: okay
ON: talk to you later
PP: Agreed.
ON: wait
ON: one more thing
ON: howd you know it was me
ON: we all have these strange names
PP: I chose the names when I made the books. Do you like them?
ON: what the hay is an obstinate anyway
PP: It means you aren't stopped easily.
ON: good
ON: for a second i thought you were trying to make fun of me
ON: by giving me a name that meant something stupid
ON: id walk around and all the eggheads would laugh at me
PP: Nopony would laugh at you, Rainbow Dash.
PP: I promise.

obstinateNarcoleptic [ON] ceased nickering precociousPerfectionist [PP]

That was the last I heard from Twilight before the game began. The next time I opened the book, her name, or friendhandle, as she called it, was gone. There were only six. Over that next day, I watched three of the remaining four names light up. I got to talk to Rarity, Fluttershy, and Applejack. But the last name remained gray. And it stayed that way. The last name, a certain yeastedOatmeal, never got its color.

A month passed without word from Twilight. I was pretty upset that she had broken her promise, but I was also worried. When the others were separated from their books, like when Applejack was out bucking apples, the names went gray, letting me know they weren't available to answer. But I never saw another name disappear. I wondered if something had happened to Twilight.

Then the record arrived. The record that would destroy Equestria. And I was dumb enough to play it.

[obstinateNarcoleptic closed journal entry “Notes of the Desolation”]

Twilight: Desecrate Ancient Ruins

Comments

[InarJollyhound]

The seventh name is derpy. I'm calling it!
(Inar heads off to clickity click the link at the end of the chapter)

[Derechoes]

The Pestertomes...that was really clever of you, actually.

[Jh5kPony]

massive dialogue

second person

RD talking somewhat like Dave Strider...

Definitely the Homestuck I know and love.

[arachnidsGrip]

Why do Pinkie and Twilight have the s8me two-letter a88revi8tion? Even 8etween universes A and B th8re weren't any duplic8tions, although that necess8rily 8r8ks down with the addition of UB2. I'm not compl8ning, 8ut it could 8ecome confusing (for all I know at this point, it already has).

[Woop]

PASTR, Pestertomes, and precognitive Pinkies on perilous pyramids? The deal is sealed, I have become one with this story. No blended elements feel forced, the amount of temporal hijinks looks to be up-to-par, and the potential forthcoming of horrible, terrible forces are enough to keep me glued (and quite trepidatious). Awesome all around!