• Member Since 20th Jan, 2014
  • offline last seen Feb 19th, 2016

Elfpen


30y/o, college student, father of two, veteran, brony

T

Target Lock and Guns Blazing are two young pegasus ponies that have dreamed of being combat fliers ever since they first met at summer flight camp. After graduating from flight school, both were accepted into the advanced combat flight school. With their dreams on the line and everything to prove, they must push themselves harder then they ever have if they want to wear the wings of a combat flier.

Chapters (1)
Comments ( 5 )

Not bad.

Needs better grammar and spacing.

If you need an editor I'm game.


:twilightsmile:

That would be awesome!:pinkiehappy:
How do i give you privileges?

Excellent work, only a few grammar issues (and one spelling one: ascent not accent! :facehoof: ) but nothing of the glaring variety.

You've earned a thumbs up and a follow.

Wos, this ad systemn is intuitive. An ad for Ace Combat just showed up.

*Slow claps*

Not bad. A few minor spelling/grammar errors, lots of i's rather than I's, good characterization, good descriptions, interesting first chapter. Overall, not bad. This story has some potential. However, it would help a lot to have an editor or two or three. Editors are good to have. Good editors are even better. If you need an editor, I'd be willing to help. Except for this week, for I have finals.

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