Sombra gets a new consort as the drums of conflict echo from all sides.
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I'm half expecting this Sombra to be 'good', so to speak.
At least to 'us'.
LoL! Now protag is complete emotional wreck. And what could happen if Sombra will try to molest her?
That should be scalding hot
4481282 One day I hope to write a chapter without screwing up.
4481313
Everyone messes up, at least you are still writing.
Huh. This chapter, I had to think about what happened, again and again, to understand what happened. But I get it now.
Interesting. I really want to know Sombra's reaction to all this.
I suspect that he makes this happen, especially to make Rose find power - and enjoyment using it.
-Zeph
Oh derp. That was fast.
That was actually pretty exiting, nice job with this chapter.
4481313
If you ever need an editor, I'm willing to help you. You can check my profile page for all the info you need about contacting me.
The guards convene, kicking the spear back out of his reach and blocking his escape.
Did you mean "The guards converged" instead?
4481313 I could help with that.
OH noez! I've been turned to the dark side! HOW COULD ZIS HAPPEN?!
Damn you Sombryyyyyyy!
WOOOOOP!!! SOMBRA You Go Girl
Rereading this, things are going too quickly and it brings up questions. Like the rebels are in a guest suite with Rose, but somehow one is killed by a sneaky crossbow bolt? Shot through solid walls? The door wasn't closed with no pony watching? You are trying to get to a turning point but all the steps to get there are badly explained.
Why kill the subjects? If the Resistance movement is all about killing the tyrant king, wouldn't saving his oppressed subjects be a goal?
I think you mean psychological.
5152095 brainwashed to such a degree that it's a kin fanatic worship possibly.
'noticeable'