I have lived in Ponyville for a while, when I met her. I guess she took a liking in me?
ih2.redbubble.net/image.13425744.6979/fc,220x200,white.u2.jpg
3800339 thanks, I fixed it. if it is what I think you're pointing at.
the word is; 'Alone'
Well that escalated quickly...
'Just that it neer was what'
... What?
'sence'Sense
'thnk'Think
'knowyou'd'Missed the space
'don'Down
'the un, is '
half the fun is not knowing
'due to w her tongue felt as she wwas lickin'due to the way her tongue felt as she was licking
Never accent indirect narrative. Accent only when characters are "speaking" or 'thinking'
'rimfrom the inner side, to the other'rim from the inner side to the outer.
'moned'moaned
'Ofcause'Of course
Entire last paragraph seems out of context.
Got another page down, and still sticking with that you ought to get a spell check where you write. Would help I think.The pacing is a little off, but seen worse. And the dialogue jumps a bit back and forth, along with go formal/informal.
ih2.redbubble.net/image.13425744.6979/fc,220x200,white.u2.jpg
3800339 thanks, I fixed it. if it is what I think you're pointing at.
the word is; 'Alone'
Well that escalated quickly...
'Just that it neer was what'
... What?
'sence'
Sense
'thnk'
Think
'knowyou'd'
Missed the space
'don'
Down
'the un, is '
half the fun is not knowing
'due to w her tongue felt as she wwas lickin'
due to the way her tongue felt as she was licking
Never accent indirect narrative. Accent only when characters are "speaking" or 'thinking'
'rimfrom the inner side, to the other'
rim from the inner side to the outer.
'moned'
moaned
'Ofcause'
Of course
Entire last paragraph seems out of context.
Got another page down, and still sticking with that you ought to get a spell check where you write. Would help I think.
The pacing is a little off, but seen worse. And the dialogue jumps a bit back and forth, along with go formal/informal.