Chapter 3: Who's Your Friend?
The sun was slowly approaching the apex of its tilted arc across the sky. They'll meet for lunch an hour or so after noon, Discord remembered. I could push the sun back a bit, but everypony would probably notice. Unless I pushed time backward too, but then I would undo some of what I've already done today, and I hate repeating myself. Discord puzzled over his dilemma. He could maybe get in two more ponies before Fluttershy met with all of her friends for lunch, but all of the three remaining? He settled for slowing time imperceptibly without slowing the ponies themselves. It won't be enough to make a difference, but it means that Celestia's workday will be longer and in a few centuries it'll start to catch up with her. Discord chuckled darkly to himself over his petty and miniscule cruelty.
Wasting time was fun, but the personification of chaos wanted to impress his one true friend today, and so he scanned the streets below in the hopes of finding a commotion. Out of all Ponyville, only two ponies seemed to cause much ruckus: Pinkie Pie and Rainbow Dash. Of the two, the former was an unpredictable but steady stream of boundless energy, and the latter blazed in bursts – switching back and forth between periods of hyper-activity and laziness. Either one commanded the attention of their peers on a daily basis. If he could just find a party or a crowd of slack-jawed, easily impressed ponies with their snouts upturned, he could certainly find the pony responsible. A bit ironically, he found neither a shindig nor a gaping gaggle of ignoramuses, but he did fly headlong into Rainbow Dash when neither of them were paying attention to where they where going.
“Ow! Hey, watch it!” Rainbow cried out before even realizing whom or what she'd flown into. “Aw, not you. What do you want?”
“For starters, I'd like to know why everypony keeps asking me that.”
“What?”
“At the very least, I'll settle for an apology.”
“From me? For what!?”
So many things. Like your grating voice, or the way you always immediately blame me when things go wrong in my presence, or the dumb look on your face right now. “For flying into me and then rudely assuming that I'd come all the way here just to bother you.”
“Didn't you?”
This is going to be so much fun, Discord thought to himself sarcastically before realizing that his sarcasm was wasted by not being shared. “More or less, yes. I've come looking for you, because I'd like to talk.”
“Why didn't you just say that when I asked what you want?”
“Why is everything you say a question?”
“Good point. I don't even know why I'm talking to you,” Rainbow Dash retorted just before she sped away.
You're not getting off that easy. Discord easily caught up and told her: “I was sent by Fluttershy.”
Dash slowed her pace a little. “Is she okay?”
“She's just dandy, thanks for asking about us. Both of us. You're such a good friend for caring about how each of us are doing.”
“I don't care about how you're doing. What did Flutters send you to tell me?”
“She didn't send me to tell you anyth-”
“So you lied,” Rainbow Dash accused.
“No. Listen. She sent me just to talk.”
“Huh?” Rainbow came to a sudden stop, forcing Discord to actually turn around after he flew right by her. “I don't get it. Talk about what?”
Discord scratched his scalp. Is she really this dense? She must make a habit of landing on her head. “She wants me to talk to all of her friends. You know, get some quality time together. Bonding and whatnot.”
Rainbow Dash just hovered and stared hard at Discord, with a look of disbelief plain on her face. After a moment, she shook her head and said, “No way, not even for Fluttershy.”
Discord watched as she turned and began to fly away. There we are, finally one of Fluttershy's friends is proving my point for me. Now if only the others had been so obliging, I could have already been done with this tiresome exercise. Although, if I don't at least try... “I guess that makes me a better friend than you!” he called after her.
Rainbow Dash came to a stop, seemingly frozen in place, but for her wings beating. She jerked around and zipped straight into Discord's face, literally pressing her face against his aggressively as she growled, “Say that again, Discord.”
“I am a better friend to Fluttershy than you. No, I'm a better friend outright.”
Rainbow snorted and pulled back, assuming an offensive pose midair as she did so. “You've got some nerve. What makes you think you're a good friend, let alone better than me? Just cuz you'll do something she asks you to once in a while?”
“No. I'm better to her because I actually care about how she feels.”
“Pfft.” Rainbow Dash rolled her eyes. “Lame-brain. I care about her more than you do.”
“Not enough to even try when she asks her friends to get along,” Discord scolded. “I've done my best to patch things up with Applejack and Rarity already. We had very constructive talks about-”
“Don't care,” Rainbow interrupted bluntly. “You won't listen to Flutters unless she threatens you, you've tried to drive our friends apart and you never, ever help or spend time with us unless it somehow amuses you. These 'talks' are just another game to you.”
“To be perfectly clear, none of you aside from Fluttershy made any attempt to spend time with me or were ever willing to give me the benefit of the doubt since my reformation. I have, however, been in correspondence with Fluttershy and visited her on several occasions. It's true that I wouldn't be doing this if she hadn't asked me to, but she did. The very least you could do is give me one chance. You never have before.”
“Maybe that's because in the whole time I've known you, you've stolen my wings, tricked me into thinking my childhood home was being destroyed, manipulated me into abandoning my friends, destroyed my current home, tried to take advantage of Fluttershy, allowed Equestria to nearly be destroyed by evil vines that you knew how to get rid of and have just been spiteful and annoying.”
“If I'm really so bad that I'm not worth your time, why do you suppose I didn't go right back to causing chaos once the Elements of Harmony had been returned whence they came? On top of that, why would I float here and argue with you to appease Fluttershy if I didn't actually care?”
“I didn't say you don't care. You just don't care about anypony else.”
Discord actually hadn't expected this. Rude, abrasive and accusatory, sure; but for Rainbow Dash to concede that he was genuinely Fluttershy's friend? He had assumed that nopony really believed he was capable of friendship. Ah, now we're getting somewhere.
“So, you admit it.”
“What are you talking about?”
“You admit that I care more than you.”
“You're full of-”
Discord put his lion arm over her shoulders and pinched her lips shut with his eagle claw. “Now, now. Don't be so literal that we end up playing semantics. I'm sure I'll get enough of that from Princess Twilight Sparkle later on.” Dash wriggled out of his grip. “You admitted that I care enough about Fluttershy to actually try and make friends with you and the rest of your little clique, but you don't care enough to reciprocate. Ergo, I care more than you.”
“What you just said proves that you're lying. You're turning this into another game to try and tear us apart.”
“No, I'm using a faulty argument to convince you to talk to me. It doesn't have to be about this... I can see that it's making you... uncomfortable.”
“What's that supposed to mean!?”
“Just that you don't like questioning such integral aspects of your identity.”
Rainbow gave Discord a long, hard look; he could practically hear the cogs grinding in her head as the pitiful, overworked hamster ran in its wheel. It was so delightful to watch her make up her mind whether or not to ask the obvious question that had to be burning in her brain, but he needed to say something to fill the silence. She might get bored and fly off otherwise. Or I might.
“Something on your mind?” Besides the seething start of a frothing, frustrated fit?
“What do you mean?”
Discord began flying in slow circles around her. “Are you thinking about anything? A foreign concept, I'm sure, but your face has the appearance of deep concentration.”
Dash grit her teeth and let out a slow breath. It sounded to Discord as though her head were venting from overheating. “I'm not doing this. You're not trying to have a conversation with me, you're trying to get under my skin. Being friends with somepony doesn't mean getting along with all of their other friends. I'm not going to get into a fight with you, I'm not going to let you get to me, I'm flying away.”
“I suppose that's inevitable,” Discord said as he scratched his chin and tightened his circles around Rainbow. “Running away is the one thing the fastest flier in Equestria is best at.”
Dash dove under him and began to fly away.
“You've got quite a history of running away from the truly difficult problems, as I understand it.”
Rainbow faltered for a moment and began to turn, before resuming her pace.
“Such a shame, really. In the end you don't have much of a choice. Trapped in a no-win situation like yours...” Discord trailed off as he watched her go. Oh well, I tried, he thought to himself with a shrug. I'm a bit surprised she didn't stand up to me, maybe she's not as simple as I thought. He turned his gaze downward, wondering if he could still find Pinkie Pie before lunch.
The sound of harried wings and barely audible grumbling met his ears. He looked back up just as Rainbow was within earshot. “Alright, Discord, let's hear it, huh!? Whadda ya mean, my identity? Where do you get off calling me a coward? And saying I'm in a no-win situation?”
“Well-”
“And don't mix words with me! Lay it out straight, or I'll fly away and never give you another chance! You asked for it, so here it is!”
Discord held his elbow in his paw and put a talon over his lips while he considered her ultimatum. The phrase is “mince words,” not mix, which means to soften the impact of one's message, not obfuscate it. Also, you're the one who came flying back to me. Still, she's being obliging, and I don't have all day.
“Fine. In order: You define yourself by your loyalty to your friends, which is imperfect at best. You've avoided situations where you didn't think you would come out on top or weren't sure what was the right thing to do. Finally, you still have an important decision to make in your future which you either haven't considered much – due to shortsightedness, subconsciously avoiding it or choosing not to think on it – or you have considered it, but haven't discussed it with your friends.”
Rainbow opened and closed her mouth twice before mumbling, “What-what's that supposed to mean?”
“To be fair, you might have talked about it with some of them, but not Fluttershy. I get most of my news about Ponyville from her.” Whether or not I want it. I just don't have the heart to tell her I'm sick of getting letters about whatever banal thing her animals have done recently.
“You – I...” Rainbow Dash's confusion quickly turned into anger. She growled, “I told you not to jerk me around-”
“I'm not, I swear. Ask me to clarify anything.”
“I don't run away from my problems. I just don't always know how to deal with them right away.”
“My mistake.”
“SHUT UP!” Discord recoiled slightly from the unexpected outburst and nearly retaliated with his magic. Turning Rainbow Dash into a house plant would have been simple enough, but it wasn't entirely original. “Tell me what this decision I haven't made is supposed to be.”
Discord curled forward in a “C” shape, resting his elbows on his knees and his chin on his interlaced fingers. His tail flicked up and down and he narrowed his eyes. “If you have an opportunity to join the Wonderbolts – which I suspect you will, unless Fluttershy has been embellishing her stories – will you take it?”
“Of course!” Dash responded. “Being a Wonderbolt is my dream!”
“Is it? On more than one occasion you've chosen your friends over them. Although, you didn't want to.”
“Those were the hardest choices of my life, and I made them because I was afraid that being a Wonderbolt would change me. The response I got from Spitfire both times told me that she wanted me on her team even more for being a loyal friend and having my priorities straight.”
“True, true... but deciding to stick with Ponyville in lieu of joining the Cloudsdale team wasn't a simple matter of principle. You decided that it was more important to you to carry your friends, who have virtually no interest in athletic competition, through a qualifying trial. You know well enough that they have almost no chance of placing in the Equestrian Games, unlike Cloudsdale, but wanted to stand by them regardless.”
“There's more to it than that!”
“Is there? Your friends wouldn't have held it against you. That would have been petty of them. They would want to support you as you make a name for yourself that could easily launch a long and successful career.”
“The Wonderbolts practically abandoned Soarin. They decided to take him back after we confronted them. I made a choice based on my virtues.”
Discord straightened out and laid his paw on Dash's shoulder in a consoling fashion. He asked sympathetically, “So, you're saying that the Wonderbolts prize capability over camaraderie? That they pushed you to emulate a dangerous flier with a lack of empathy or concern for others, and then later tried to get you to replace one of their own when he failed to meet their expectations?”
“That's...” Rainbow swatted away his hand. “Spitfire didn't realize how reckless Lightning Dust was until I pointed it out. And she and Fleetfoot apologized to Soarin and they are still a close team!”
“Never mind the PR disaster if a trainee at the Wonderbolts Academy killed 5 ponies during what was supposed to be a routine training exercise.” Discord theorized as he tugged on his goatee. “Nor the fact that Cloudsdale needed a third flier right away if they were still going to qualify for the relay, and had no remaining Wonderbolt members to fill in if Soarin had chosen not to cooperate. Then again, I suppose that he might have been kicked off the team for good if he hadn't danced to their tune.”
“That's not – You don't even – I'm not listening to this! You couldn't say anything about me that had any weight so you're just bashing on my heroes for a couple of bad experiences I've had with them!”
“Well, maybe I've gotten the wrong idea. I mean, it's easy to be critical of them when they've been set apart from everypony else on such a high pedestal. Speaking of which, even if you're right and they're as loyal to each other as you think, do you really want to be like them?”
“Ugh, are we really going to keep talking about this? Your arguments are getting even dumber; I like being the center of attention!”
“Well, of course! You're the biggest, most brightly colored fish in this pond! It's not like you left Cloudsdale for Ponyville because you were afraid you wouldn't stand out there!”
Rainbow Dash shot Discord the ugliest look she could before turning to fly away. “I am so gone.”
Discord sensed his misstep and shot out in front of her to stop her. “Now, wait just a moment. I'm sorry, I didn't really mean it.”
“Good-bye, Discord.” Rainbow flew in a loop under and over him and changed direction.
“I really do apologize,” Discord claimed as he teleported into her path. “It was completely uncalled for and I promise it won't happen again.”
“Tell Fluttershy that I hated this little talk and that we shouldn't ever do it again.” Dash dove straight down and pulled up between buildings in a narrow alley, deftly navigating the winding side street.
It might actually be hard to follow her if not for that conspicuous technicolor contrail. Discord bent the shape of space-time so that Rainbow Dash was suddenly up in the air beside him again. Before she could speed off, he coiled around her midsection, pleading: “I know that you're cross, but I do have one last, genuine concern to bring up, and-”
Dash was holding an intense eye-contact that would give Fluttershy's Stare a run for its money. “Get off of me,” she demanded in a voice far quieter than Discord had thought she was capable of.
“Your attempt at intimidating me is commendable, but ineffective. I want to say one last thing and if you really don't want to speak to me anymore after that, I won't harass you again.”
“Until the next time you decide to ruin my day.”
“I prefer to think of it as enhancing ponies' days, but that is neither here nor there. The decision to join the Wonderbolts won't be difficult because of some hypothetical conflict of interest or questionable morals within their organization. The real question is: can you stand that kind of lifestyle? Think about it, the nearest base is in Cloudsdale, where the majority of your friends literally can't set hoof without making special arrangements. You wouldn't have control of your own schedule, or choose where you live, or know for certain where you'd be in a few months or if you'd even be safe.”
“Safe!? What are you implying?”
“Hang on, I'm getting there! The Wonderbolts are an elite faction of the Equestrian Guard. If there's an emergency which requires an immediate response, even on the border in the outlying frontier towns, the Wonderbolts are dispatched to get there as quickly as possible. They race to control freak weather, confront monsters, save ponies in distress and fight invading threats. You think of them as the best fliers in Equestria and only consider the PR stunts and public appearances to drum up morale amongst the citizens, but even that is potentially dangerous, not to mention exhausting.”
“Do you think I don't know that?” Dash yelled at him as she wriggled, trying to break free. “I've been working my flanks off for years to be good enough to be one of them. I know it's hard and even risky; I'm not a foal. Now, let go!”
“Hold your horses, I'm not done. Consider for a moment what it would be like, really try to picture it: You'd be part of a team that travels around the nation, performing demonstrations, making appearances at important events. Almost every day you aren't performing or risking your life to protect others, you'd be training. Synchronized acrobatic moves for shows, military formations and strategies, safety regulations and protocols for how to present yourself as a Wonderbolt.”
“I know, it's my dream, after all. I want to do it!”
“But when will you ever see your friends?” Dash stopped struggling and Discord loosened his grip a bit.
“I-I'll see them on my days off!”
“Really? Those will be once every other week, right? You'll have all day to leave base, as long as you make curfew. How far can you get? Halfway across the country? A third? A quarter? Most of your down time will be a half-day a few times a week. How far then?”
“That doesn't matter, I'll make it work. I'll make-”
“Time? How? Your superiors decide how much time off you get. Face it, you won't see them unless you're stationed near Ponyville. You'll move around constantly, staying put for a month or so at a time. You'll get to see them two or four... maybe six days out of the year. Sometimes they'll be busy with their own lives, but I'm sure they can make time for you.”
“It won't be that bad!” Dash insisted even though she'd practically stopped fighting. “We'll write to each other all the time. I'll send them tickets so they can see me perform and visit with me after.”
“I'm sure you'll have plenty of time in between performances, and you won't be dead tired after a long day of doing the same moves over and over again; the moves you'd spent weeks practicing. You're right though, it won't be that bad. I'm sure you'll meet plenty of new ponies while you travel. You and the other Wonderbolts in your squad will be best chums, and the screaming, cheering fans who don't really know you will all want autographs and photos with you. On your free days, you can have fun showing off for all the ponies who recognize you and want to see you do tricks just for them.”
Discord uncoiled, allowing Dash to slip free. She began hovering there with an uneasy expression on her face.
“After all, the alternative is much worse.”
“Alternative?”
“You could just run away from your destiny. Deny yourself your full potential and stay here with your friends. They'll be there by your side as you spend each day wondering, 'Was it worth it? Did I make the right choice?' As the years pass by, you'll start to regret not going for it. You'll start to resent your friends for holding you back. Eventually, you'll forget why you ever threw it all away for them.”
Rainbow Dash snarled at Discord and tried to kick him in the face. He curled back and swirled into an impromptu vortex, disappearing into thin air before rematerializing on a nearby cloud. He watched as she threw a tantrum in midair. “You think you know so much!? Why don't you try to figure out where you'll be in a few years, huh!? ALL ALONE! Nopony likes you! You haven't got a future! I have friends and skills and crazy potential! I'll do whatever I want with my life!”
Discord chuckled to himself as he quickly darted to the ground while she wasn't looking his way. This wasn't very constructive, he admitted to himself. Fluttershy will probably be mad at me, and it will make lunch unpleasant if I show up. In my defense, I hadn't actually planned on things going this sour. She didn't want to try any more than I did. Then again, why am I defending myself? I told Fluttershy it was a waste of time... Maybe I just wanted to prove I was right? Should I have tried harder to befriend the one pony who wanted my friendship the least, who I have the least in common with? You can't make everypony happy. Discord slunk silently towards Sugarcube Corner, plagued by heavier thoughts than he was used to and hoping that Pinkie Pie could lift them.
Meanwhile, Rainbow Dash settled onto a cloud and laid down. She was headed out to practice some new stunts before Discord showed up, but now she felt exhausted. She knew that it was all fake. He was just trying to ruin her day. He was just trying to make her question her friendships. Only now she was questioning her aspirations. Were the Wonderbolts less than they seemed? Would she be lonely and miserable if she really, actually made it in? If it didn't work out... then what?
She had no idea her cutie mark was a little less vibrant.
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I just want to tell you you were fantastic. Absolutely fantastic. And do you know what?
Yay a new chapter. It is as fantastic as ever. Great writing, fantastic grammar and not a single spelling eror in sight. Also Most of all the fantastic story is as great as ever. The plot is coming out nicely and I oh so do like watching people ... err... ponies question their thoughts. Discord is doing a great job.
I know he is neither trying to be helpful, interested or malicious to the ponies he have talked to. Getting a bit of interest out of his musing about their destinies at most. I know his main reason is cause Flutters asked. Still fun to watch the Spirit of Disharmony still spread it without even meaning too.
Though this little sour moment made me the happiest cause it reminds me so much of how I can get with people. I can oddly relate to this. Well not oddly I'm that loner that has a few friends and is a bit of a jerk. So I relate to Discord oh so well. Especially in this story.
So you get some mustaches.
Damn, Discord is back to his own antics and it is as painful to read as it is well-written. He may not be breaking people's minds by force or playing around with gravity and checker patterns, but this is just like the labyrinth. Man, I suddenly remember why he was a villain, what an ass. Very in character, but vile, simply vile. Though it seems that he has a little empathy this time.
I'm really interested in how this will get turned around. The ponies all have weaknesses and doubts that he skillfully exploits here, so I'm curious to see how they will get out of their depression here. Debating like "Mane Six team vs Discord"? Celestia cutting right through all his crap? Or will he fix it himself?
If you do this right, it will feel like an actual episode of the show. No pressure
The problem with this one.
"Who gave up her dreams for the sake of her friends" said episode 2.
Rainbow Dash is never going to become a wonderbolt, she would never be happy as one, and her destiny we were told explicitly episode 2 would never be to become one.