> Discourse with Discord
>  by Gohma Dameon
> --------------------------------------------------------------------------

> Prologue: Tea-time with Fluttershy
> --------------------------------------------------------------------------

	The sky and sea had just merged into a single expanse of yellow to contrast the blue grass. They would have looked better intermingled in a checkerboard pattern, but sometimes concessions were necessary. Besides, the sand on the beach had run away when it turned red, so there wasn't a third color to use for a plaid pattern, which would have been ideal.

“Have you been listening to me?” Fluttershy asked.

“What?” Discord shot back defensively. “You said it was alright to warp time-space and the natural spectrum of visible light inside of pocket dimensions carved from uninhabited corners of Equestria. There's no one in here besides us,” he pointed out as he gestured around the small expanse which tapered off at it's nearby horizons.

“It's not that, silly, I think this is beautiful,” Fluttershy reassured him. “I just meant that you were very focused on the, um, coastline. I didn't think you were listening to what I was saying.”

“Oh. No, I haven't. I chose to ignore you once I realized that you were trying to get me to spend more time with your friends. It's a moot point, but you insist on wasting your time with it, so I decided to spare myself my own time this time.”

Fluttershy quietly gave the draconequus a stern look. She considered him a friend, but he didn't seem interested in making any friends besides her. It was troubling, both because she was concerned that he was shutting others out for a deep-rooted reason that she wanted to help him overcome, and because she was afraid that once she was gone he might return to his cruel ways. “Discord.”

“Don't take that overbearing-British-matriarch tone with me.”

“British?”

“Never mind. My point is that getting along with those ponies is impossible. The only reason you manage it is because you have the patience of a saint.”

“That's not true, they are very kind when they know somepony-”

“Exactly! I'm not a pony! They won't tolerate me because they think I'm a monster.” To emphasize his point, Discord grew to occupy most of their little slice of reality and devoured their entire picnic; blanket, tea set and all. He immediately returned to a more manageable size and supplied a new picnic basket from nowhere with replacements for everything he had just consumed, but still.

“That is my point as well,” Fluttershy explained as she poured them each a new cup of tea. “If you would just take the time to get to know them and let them know you, they would see that underneath your imposing looks and power you're still a person.”

“It won't work. Whenever I'm near, ponies either cower and flee or pretend to tolerate my presence while hatred seethes just under the surface.”

Fluttershy felt as though she were getting closer to understanding why Discord was so vitriolic. “I don't. We talk like this all the time.”

Discord smiled sadly, then his smile grew more cynical as he remarked, “You are different. It's a wonder you haven't been eaten by a chimera.”

“I've never met a chimera, but I'd like to.”

“Hahahahah, you see? You like monsters!”

“There's no such thing as monsters. Ponies who think there are just don't know better.”

“But there is such a thing as a dangerous animal, no?”

“Ponies can be dangerous, too. It doesn't matter how we look, or what we're capable of. It's what we choose to be that makes us what we are. I chose a long time ago to be kind. That's all I've ever needed to be.”

Discord mulled over this for a while, nibbling at his teacup until he only had the handle and the tea left. Resigning himself to what he was about to do, he ate his tea in one bite and finally asked, “What do you think I should do?”
> Chapter 1: Apple Core
> --------------------------------------------------------------------------

	It was a brisk, sunny morning in early Autumn. The day before, Discord had stopped for tea with Fluttershy in a tiny pocket of space-time that he'd borrowed from one of Equestria's beautiful, unspoilt coastlines. Of course, it was much prettier once he'd spruced it up with some garish colors and inexplicably consolidated the land, sea and sky, but that was the only fun part of the visit. It wasn't at all uncommon for Fluttershy to try roping him into some sort of bonding exercise with her friends, but for some reason he'd actually agreed this time. I suppose if I always reacted the same way, or even how I expect myself to act, then I wouldn't be the Spirit of Chaos and Disharmony.

Ironically, the Spirit of Chaos and Disharmony was on his way to make friends with the second most boring, structured, orderly pony he could think of. It was best to get the worst out of the way early on, but he didn't think he could stomach the shear mind-numbing ennui of being entertained by a librarian/princess hybrid right away. He had been flying very high above Ponyville, amusing himself on the way to Sweet Apple Acres by making crude, immature shapes out of clouds in a meager attempt at distracting the ponies below. He'd only managed to make one stall tip over when a pegasus flew sideways into the awning, but it would have to do.

He plummeted out of the sky at uncanny speed once he saw the orchard beneath him, and then defied both gravity and inertia by coming to a complete stop a few feet above the ground. Floating along haphazardly through the trees, Discord took his time searching for Applejack. To his dismay, she was already working the fields nearby and making quite a lot of noise as she did.

“Good morning, Applejack,” he said in greeting as he suddenly materialized in front of her, interrupting a solid kick and causing her to leave a sizable mark on the trunk of a Red Delicious tree.

“Now, look at what ya made me do!” she cried out while examining the damage. “What do ya want, Discord?”

“Why, I don't want anything. I'm merely here on the advice of our mutual friend, Fluttershy. You see, she suggested that I spend some quality time with each of her very best friends – one-on-one – so that we could all get along just a little bit better. As I understand it, today the six of you are meeting for a late lunch in Ponyville, and I thought I'd surprise her by talking to all of you beforehand.” A day planner that had been doodled all over suddenly appeared in his hands. “You're an early riser, so if I’m going to squeeze in everypony, I'd better start with you.”

Applejack rolled her eyes, before giving the patchwork demigod a hard stare. “Alright, I appreciate that yer actually listenin' ta Fluttershy, but if you get in the way of my chores with any of yer tricks we're gonna have ourselves a problem. I need ta buck this here field before noon or we'll never be done in time fer cider season.”

“That's going to take all morning.”

“Exactly, I'm an early riser fer a reason, you know.”

“In that case, let me lend a paw or claw. Just tell me what to do.”

“There's nothing I need you to do. I just need ta get the apples outta these here trees. Which I can do on my own, thank-you-very-much,” she added a bit defensively.

Realizing that talking wasn't going anywhere very quickly, Discord decided to act instead. With a snap of the fingers on his paw, he removed the apples from the trees in an instant. He even went the extra distance and removed them from existence entirely. “Ta-da~! Apples removed. No need to thank me, I'm more than happy to be of assistance.”

“Wh – but where are they!?” Applejack shouted. “Bring em back!”

“I thought you trying to get them out of the trees. I'd hate to make more work for you.”

“Outta the trees and into these here baskets! I'm harvestin' em!”

“OH! Why didn't you say so? Silly me.” One snap of Discord's claws and the baskets Applejack had brought with her were filled over the brim with an entire fields worth of candied and caramel apples. “There you go, ready to eat. Consider it an apology for the mix up.”

“No, no, no! Discord! If y'all are just gonna mix words with me, then just put everything the way it was before ya did anything to the apples with yer magic. I don't need yer help, I can buck all these trees on my own just fine!”

“Fine.” Discord snapped his fingers once more, and the trees were full of perfectly normal, boring apples. “Don't blame me that you don't have the patience for a few jokes that could easily save you hours of work.”

“I don't hardly see how it would save me any time at all if ya don't know when ta stop joking. Everything goes too far with you; it's more exhausting than working these fields.”

Discord suddenly had an idea. It was uncharacteristic of him – that is the idea itself, not that he'd had one, he considered himself rather imaginative and quick on the draw – it wasn't entirely his style, but it could work. “What if I cast a spell that made the chores easier?”

“I don't need-”

“Yes, yes, you don't need any help workin' them there trees all the gosh-darn day. But, what if it didn't take all day? In fact, what if you could get just as many apples from just as many trees just the way you always have, except it didn't take any time at all?”

“I don't want you doin' anything to my trees or my apples.”

“Hear me out. What if the apples picked themselves? What if the trees knew when their apples were ripe, reached up with their branches, plucked the fruit and deposited them in a basket sitting at their roots. Tartarus' Gates, the baskets could even run on back to the farmhouse when they were full.”

“Even if I thought you could set all that up an' not have it backfire somehow, I still wouldn't agree. It's just not how we do things.”

“SO?” Discord's voice rose a little as he asked, “Are you saying you'd rather not have things be easier, just because it's different? You'd actually prefer to be stagnant?”

“It's not about keepin' things the same. It's about taking pride in the work. The Apple Family have always had a hooves-on approach to the way we work and do business. It's how we know the value of the fruits of our labors.”

“Working hard isn't the only thing that makes the work meaningful. I've heard that every year you fall short of the demand for cider. Either for lack of ponies to pick fruit or apples to pick.” Discord snapped his fingers again, and a single apple appeared in his paw. He ate it, picked a seed from between his teeth and dropped it into a hole he dug with his cloven hoof. As he stepped back, a sapling grew and rapidly matured into a large apple tree.

“It's... ” Applejack slowly trotted up to the tree in awe. “There's every kind of apple.”

Just as she reached the base of the tree, it began plucking it's own fruit and depositing them in  baskets. A new fruit grew to replace each apple, so that the tree could sustain its pace perpetually. Applejack's face was a mix of wonder and trepidation.

“Beautiful, isn't it? It could feed the entire nation. It could pay all of your debts, supply the means for all your needs and still support a healthy savings account at the First Equestrian Bank.”

“That doesn't matter! This is... it's like cheatin'! Nopony should be able to profit from somethin' they didn't put any of their time, effort an' passion into.”

“Cheating?” Discord said with a mock-hurt tone. “I'm surprised you feel that way. After all, you'd still need to cook all the pastries and make the cider and sell your products to other ponies. It's just that this way you never have to worry about a bad harvest one year. You get to spend more time with your family and friends, instead of in the fields all alone. Your family can afford to experiment with their recipes without wasting apples. You'll be able to sell fresh apples off-season. Isn't the opportunity to make life a little easier, a little better, for your family worth while?”

Applejack paused, and thought about it for a minute. Was an infinite supply of fresh apples really a bad thing? Maybe if it didn't pick itself, she wouldn't be so concerned. Maybe if the normal trees just made apples a little faster. Then again, she'd just be in the fields even longer. Besides, if she could have all those apples, it would just make them less valuable.

“No, Discord, I still think yer wrong.”

“What?” he cried as his wings flared and he threw him arms up in exasperation. “Why?”

“The value of what we do comes from how we do it. If we could have trees that just give us all the food we want, then what's the point of bein' a farmer pony in the first place? The apples wouldn't hardly be worth anything if there were always more. We'd be throwin' em away.”

“Don't be silly, you have the tree. Nopony else needs to know about it. Even if they did, you could just guard the tree. You only sell as many as you need to at the price you decide on.”

“That's dishonest! I'd be lyin' to everypony about what my apples are worth.”

“Applejack, sweet, silly Applejack.” Discord reached behind Applejack's ear and produced a single bit. “Don't you know that 'value' is an arbitrary concept? Consider the value of a single bit. How many apples is it worth?”

“Dependin' on the type of apple and time a' year, one bit might be worth two apples. Maybe more or maybe less if we're factorin' in things like the crops lost to bad weather an' pests or a better yield than normal.”

“We'll just say that one bit is two apples for now. So, suppose that I...” Discord broke the bit in half evenly, like the cookies Fluttershy baked to go with tea. “Had two half-bits. Each is worth one apple. So, because I have two, instead of one, they are only worth half as much? That's what you're saying.”

“Er,” Applejack stuttered, unsure of what Discord was getting at. “Ya don't don't have two, ya have two halves of one... I don't think a half-bit is actually a denomination you can use.”

“Alright, let me start again.” Discord licked the broken ridge of one half of the coin and stuck the two pieces back together, inexplicably fusing them. He then proceeded to make it disappear and produced two whole coins using nothing more than simple slight-of-hand tricks which most ungulates, such as ponies, typically mistook for a subtle form of his actual magic. Thus far, the only one to see through it was a mint green unicorn with a harp for a cutie mark. I should really find out her name. “OK, now I have two coins. Since I have two instead of one, does that mean each is only worth one apple?”

“Of course not, that's not how it works. It's not about how much money you've got, it's how many apples are available fer purchase.”

“So, it doesn't matter how many bits are in circulation, they will always have the same value? And the price of goods will always be determined compared to the value of a bit? Even though bits are inherently worthless other than as a stand-in for easily transferable value of goods and services?”

“Princess Celestia decided how many bits there are a long time ago, and she sees to it that the number doesn't go up or down any more than it has to.”

“I doubt that she personally does so, but I understand what you mean. However, if she wanted to, she could have more of them minted, yes?”

“I reckon, but that would make each one worth less.”

“Why?”

“Because, it'd be easier to get em.”

“How so?”

“Because – 'cause there'd be more.”

“Ah, ah, ah. That's circular logic.”

“No, it ain't. Circular is when yer cause an' effect are interchangeable. Here one cause has a direct effect an' an indirect one. More means easier to get and in turn means less valuable.”

Discord clapped sardonically. “Very astute. However, you still have yet to explain why common means easily attainable. In your argument, less valuable and easily attainable are effectively the same. So, why does the abundance of bits make them any less valuable if, say, Celestia minted ten million bits and kept them in her coffers. Her buying power would increase, but the value of the bit would be the same.”

“That's because nopony but her would have em. Their value would go down once she spent the bits.”

“So, you're saying that the availability of something and it's attainability aren't the same?”

“I guess.”

“So then, if Tia had ten million bits, but didn't spend more than she needed, and the value of the bit didn't waver much; why would you having all the apples you could possibly ever want, but only selling what you need to, diminish the worth of your apples?”

“Because they'd only be worth what I wanted them to be!”

“Just like bits are only worth as much as Celly wants them to be.”

Discord relished the look of doubt that flicked across Applejack's face. She won't buckle so easily, but the chinks in her armor are showing. This is more fun that I would have thought.

“That ain't the same at all. The princesses aren't sitting on mountains of bits, and even if they were, they know how to keep the economy stable. Anything they do to change it is for the good of all Equestria.”

“Oh, I'm sure it is. Yet, you have to admit, just because they don't have the bits on hoof doesn't mean they can't have them at a moments notice. The value of the bit is chosen by a small number of regal ponies. Why not let the Apple family choose the value of an apple? Besides, there is one very important thing that I think you haven't considered.”

“What's that?”

“You attribute the value of your apples to that of your hard work, but what if it's actually the other way around? What if all of your 'time, effort and passion' is wasted on something which can be easily attained? Of course you'd prefer to think that removing your work from the process devalues the product, otherwise...” Discord allowed the thought to go unspoken, but he could see that Applejack was contemplating what he had insinuated. Before she could rally back, he continued. “I'm just afraid that you've set your goals awfully low. After all, it's mostly just you and your brother here tending these trees. Your little sister hasn't decided what she wants to do yet, but she hasn't really given being a farm pony much consideration during all her 'crusading.' Someday you'll want to find a special somepony and have foals of your own. How will you make the time for starting your own family? What will you do if none of your little colts and fillies want to buck apple trees all day long? For that matter, you're always saving up for the next renovation, not to mention your poor, old grandmother's medical expenses. Can you afford to expand enough to have new family members?”

“It's not as bad as all that,” Applejack protested weakly. “Money isn't so tight; there's always wiggle room when we need it.”

“But never enough to stretch your legs. To really see how far you could go, given the space to run full tilt.” Applejack didn't know what to say. It suddenly occurred to her that she hadn't bucked a tree for several minutes and the chore she had set for herself that morning seemed more daunting than ever. Discord could see that she was floundering. “Has it ever occurred to you that traditions, which exist to preserve a way of life, may not allow for progress? That merely staying alive isn't enough to appreciate life?”

“The Apple family has done well all across Equestria fer generations. Some members pursue careers doin' other things, but there's always somepony to tend to the trees.”

“That's all they aspire to? Kicking trees?”

“There's more to it than that!” The earth pony cried, desperation creeping into her voice. “You don't know how hard it is to take care of an orchard! Years of perseverance and generations of inherited know-how go into it. You can't possibly imagine how hard it is to get a fresh crop o' Zap apples!”

Discord intently walked once around his apple tree. He gestured to a branch on the far side and a basket beneath it. There, the tree was slowly stacking Zap apples, one after another.

“Then again,” he mused, “I've never had to struggle for what I've wanted. I can just snap my fingers and get anything that comes to mind, even if it doesn't exist. Perhaps the ceaseless fight to provide for oneself and others makes ponies stronger, wiser even. Thank you, Applejack, for this delightful debate.” The embodiment of chaos snapped his talons and the tree producing a never-ending supply of apples evaporated, taking the many fruit it had already left in the baskets with it. “Now that I see things from your perspective, I think I can appreciate the value of day to day struggles. Of wondering whether or not one is doing well enough, whether or not their efforts will pay off in the long run or merely push back the inevitable. Of how each generation gives everything they have just to leave a little more to the next generation, passing down all of their achievements and burdens in a cycle that becomes a family's pride. I of all people crave the unpredictable, and yet I failed to see how clinging to the traditions of the past leaves room for uncertainty in the future.”

Discord rose off the ground, his comically small wings flapped in a rhythm that had more in common with the tune of a half-remembered melody than any kind of realistic pace for flying. He began humming to himself as he lazily flew towards town, looking forward to his next encounter with one of Fluttershy's friends. The conversation with Applejack had pleasantly surprised him; he expected the meeting to be dull at best, and at worst a shouting match that would incur Fluttershy's paradoxically impotent yet distressing anger. He hoped the others would surprise him as well.

Applejack sat where the shade of the magical apple tree had been, and stared at the empty basket of Zap apples. Without trying, Discord had replicated – no – improved everything her family had learned about farming apples. She stood, rearranged the baskets under the next tree she had to buck and resumed her work. However, for the first time she could remember, she wasn't sure if this was what she wanted to do all day, every day, for the rest of her life. And her children's lives. And their children.

She didn't notice as her cutie mark began to fade.
> Chapter 2: Say No More
> --------------------------------------------------------------------------

	The day was progressing at its typical, steady pace; the sun traced its all too familiar Autumnal path through the sky. Why did it have to dip below the equator? For that matter, why go round and round never straying far from it in the first place? Discord bounced an idea back and forth in his skull of nudging the sun ever so slightly into a completely perpendicular course. For one thing, it would make seasons more interesting. However, Celly and Lulu would probably give him grief over it, which would mean even more griping from Twilight Sparkle as well, and that would probably result in Fluttershy refusing to participate in anything fun until he'd reset the sun's trajectory. All in all, not worth it just for a bit of fun. And they accuse me of being unreasonable.

Setting aside thoughts of world-altering flights of fancy, Discord pondered who to visit next. He was warming up to the notion of getting to know Fluttershy's friends a little bit better, but still wasn't in the mood to spend any significant amount of time inside of a library. That left Rainbow Dash, Pinkie Pie and Rarity. Better save Pinkie for later, in case I need some spontaneity to make up for one of the other ponies being entirely uninteresting. After a teensy bit more deliberation, the draconequus settled on Rarity. Rainbow Dash was probably asleep on a random cloud, anyway.

Carousel Boutique was easy enough to find; its overwrought exterior stood out amongst the many samey thatch roof cottages that had somehow never been incinerated by a dragon. When the little bell went off over his head, Discord immediately wondered why he had bothered to use the door. A familiar, lilting voice wafted out from the back room.

“Welcome to Carousel Boutique, where every garment is chic, unique and magnifique!” Upon reaching the front room, Rarity's face visibly froze, then went through a sort of slide show of expressions. Discord counted off surprise, curiosity, alarm, worry, something like a cross between indignation and distress, a kind of serene look that must have been either acceptance or a conscious effort to reign in her emotions, and finally she settled into annoyance bordering on anger.

Rarity cleared her throat rather harshly and asked, “Is there something I can do for you, Discord?”

She's at least trying to ask 'what do you want' politely. “I'm here on Fluttershy's orders, as it were. She's tasked me with spending some quality time with her friends in the hopes that we'll all be the best of chums afterward.”

“You don't sound terribly enthusiastic. I suppose you expect it won't make a difference.”

“I don't know about being friends, exactly, but I spoke with Applejack for a while and actually enjoyed just talking. No tricks. Well, except to emphasize or demonstrate a point, but that's more like magical gesturing than spreading chaos.”

“So, if I'm understanding this, you stopped by just to talk?”

“Shocking, I know.”

“While I'm pleasantly surprised by the benign nature of your visit, I'm afraid I'm busy at the moment. Besides, I can't think of a thing we have in common to discuss.”

“Why, I thought you might like to discuss fashion with me.”

“Fashion?” Rarity asked with a mirthful chuckle. “Excuse me, I don't mean to laugh, but really? You care about fashion?”

“Oh, yes. Out of all the insipid nuances and needless complexities of pony society, the only thing with an infrastructure that I can appreciate is the fashion industry. I mean, look at the results! It's in a constant state of flux; every day the new replaces the old without resistance. Cutting edge fashion is a bizarre, inexorable parade of insensible, impractical and insane outfits intended to make a spectacle out of the wearer.” In a flash, Discord's slender body was encompassed in an outfit that might have resembled a zebra-striped jumpsuit, except that zebra stripes usually weren't many different colors, or geometric shapes.

“There's quite a bit more to it than that,” Rarity rebuked. “One's clothes should accentuate their appearance, making them alluring and provocative. Outward appearance is a powerful tool for expression, you know. It tells ponies a little bit about oneself and is the cornerstone of making a good impression. Besides, fashion design is a creative process that never truly ends. One must take into account many things like the choice of fabric, patterns, colors, volume and fine details such as the type of stitch or accents. Really, we're barely scratching the surface.”

As she spoke, Rarity led the way into her creative space where she had been hard at work. Discord could see half-formed dresses, gowns and suits on dummies. The drawing table had a stack of sketches on it, which he took a closer look at. “Oh, Celestia's massive, sun-laden ass! You've managed to do the one thing in fashion that prevents me from actually considering it worthwhile.”

“Excuse me!?” Rarity demanded, feeling both insulted and embarrassed by Discord's outburst.

“I recognize these designs, or at least parts of them. I don't mean from just recently; from before I slept like a rock for a millennium and a half. You're doing one of those awful neo-whatever designs.”

“Neo-Classical,” Rarity pointed out in a huff. “Besides, there is nothing wrong with taking inspiration from the past. My new Winter line is meant to use the practical, weather resilient elements of Pre-Equestrian era clothes and combine them with the more decadent aesthetic stylings of Equestria's first major historical period, the Platinum Dynasty. I've done a bit of research that suggests that some citizens of early Equestria modified their old clothes to emulate new styles from the upper echelons of society, so these new garments are very reminiscent of that practice.”

“In other words, your 'new' designs are a rehash of something that is not only ancient, but borrowed in the first place.” Discord was suddenly in a dark turtleneck and beret, he wore thick rimmed glasses and sipped on an espresso. “How meta of you.”

“It's not a mere copy. It's the result of combining different things to arrive at a beautiful, new result. An artist draws inspiration from many sources, and everything around us imparts something of itself in us. There is nothing entirely original in existence except for nature itself. Contemporary visionaries are simply divining the latest derivations. In any case, you hardly have room to criticize over borrowed elements. Your own chaotic creations are little more than recombinations of anything and everything.”

“Hm. That may be, but I never claimed that my chaos was art. Besides, those old clothes were made the way they were because it was all they had to work with. The peasantry took the thickest materials on hoof and stitched them together into cloaks while the elite mashed the prettiest color plants they could find into paste and watered that down to make dye. If anything, they were being as original as a pony could – by your logic – taking their inspiration directly from nature.”

“That's not quite what I meant. Originality is our own take on the world. It's what one perceives and feels and shares with others that gives them a new way of looking at things. True art is when one's perspective resonates with others and has a message so profound that it isn't only relevant then, but becomes timeless. The clothes I'm drawing inspiration from may be antiquities, but they are meaningful, and my designs will carry that message and more.”

Discord rolled his eyes. “Why would anypony want their message to be timeless? So that everypony can criticize it and 'interpret' it and rehash it forever?” Discord snapped his talons and summoned a few pieces of well known art including a painting of a village under Luna's star-encrusted sky, a monochrome photograph of a busy street in Manehattan, and a clay bas-relief which appeared to still be fresh despite it's antiquity. “Take these for example. I imagine you know of the artists?”

“Vincent van Goat, Vivian Mare, and I'm fairly certain you've either made up the last one or stolen it from the distant past, thus erasing it from history and preventing anypony from knowing what it is.”

Discord contemplated the small, square piece of clay. If he had been able to go further insane upon examining the creature depicted on it, he might have. Instead, he returned it and the other pieces from whence they came and turned his attention back to Rarity. “Right well, the first two then. Other than being well-renowned artists whose work has gained much critical success and been extremely influential, do you know what they have in common?”

“I suppose you're alluding to the fact that they both died before receiving their due recognition?”

“Yes, but more to the point, their art was ignored or hidden away at the time it was relevant. Now these images are more like relics, only interesting to historians and art snobs. If an artist reaches out, but is ignored only for their message to be received long after they've gone, then what was the point? Ponies can't communicate posthumously. The laws of life and death are breakable, given the right circumstances, but that's generally frowned upon.”

“That's just it though, their work lives on. Their message is immortalized. When new artists draw inspiration from their work, then the original artists have succeeded in passing their legacy down.”

“But they'll never know. As far as a dead artist is concerned, their work was only as valuable as the ponies they knew in life thought it was. That's part of why I generally don't care for art, but make an exception in fashion. It's an art form that doesn't concern itself with the unknowable future. It only cares about now, about what ponies will find worthwhile the moment they see it. You are so much more successful and happy than any artist who was 'immortalized' after they'd already died.”

“Even if that is true, you're forgetting all the artists who were successful and famous during their lifetimes.”

“Pft,” Discord scoffed, “so they were liked when they lived. They're dead now. Haven't I already mentioned that I don't care about the past? Their lingering art isn't any better off. Now their detritus gets to hang around just the same, being picked apart forever, like leftovers tiding over hungry bottom feeders. Redone to death, criticized by generations that will find the attitudes and ideals of the artist unrelatable, added to a dusty collection in a private home or museum for ungrateful masses to gawk at in exchange for a fee. The greatest kindness those artists will ever be granted is being forgotten.”

Rarity felt appalled at the idea that being forgotten could possibly be kind. “I can't- That's simply- it's monstrous that-”

“I know, I know. It's horrid,” Discord consoled Rarity, patting her shoulder as he spoke. “The good news is that you'll never have to worry about that sort of thing. Fashion has evolved beyond the concept of having specific eras like most art forms. Your art will be recognized or forgotten in an instant, and the very thought of a Neo-Something for current fashion trends is laughable. Why, your designs will be widely worn for a single season, maybe an half year, and then discarded in favor of something new. Just think, as long as you feel creative, you can be as prolific as you like and there will always be a demand for new clothes. Each time the weather takes a turn, you sell another line and the profit and praise never stops. I bet the fashion industry just loves weather ponies.”

Rarity opened her mouth to object to the idea that she created simply for profit, then stopped short. She smirked at the draconequus and said, “I see what you're doing. You want me to feel bad about my designs because they aren't timeless masterpieces.”

Discord raised an eyebrow. “Not at all. I honestly hate the notion of something being timeless.” He paused as he considered how to proceed, and grinned deviously as he decided to let Rarity dig her own hole. “Then again, Applejack made a good point about struggling for the sake of earning one's living as opposed to just having it handed to them. So, go ahead. Explain to me why your designs will be improved by being worn time and again, and how future designers using your work as a starting point are better off than if they'd thought of something less derivative.”

Rarity gathered her thoughts and formed a rebuttal that she believed would make even Discord understand. “Art doesn't improve because its impact is far-reaching. That is a quality which exists within the piece from the moment it is created. Clothes are not meant to be worn forever, and yes, as seasons go by we change our clothes to fit our needs. The point of making a design that will be remembered – if not worn – is to contribute an idea which will enrich the efforts of others. If they are looking for a garment that helps them to display who there are inside, then naturally they will move on to a different style as they change and grow. And if they are a visionary with an incomplete masterpiece sleeping within, then perhaps it is merely waiting to be unlocked by another pony's creation which they wish to pay homage to. When a fashionista like myself, or any artist across any medium, is inspired by somepony else and we create in response to them, we are engaging in a kind of perpetual conversation. All of our ideas combine to form beauty.”

As she finished, she suddenly realized that her lopsided guest was reclining in an ornate, plush armchair and dressed in a burgundy smoking jacket made of crushed velvet. He blew a small flurry of bubbles from his pipe as he looked at her intently. At length, he said, “Careful, lest we wade into the infinitely deep bog that is philosophy. However, I think I see what you're getting at. To you, the current state of any art form is a culmination of everything that came before, sometimes doubling back or overlapping itself. To be remembered isn't an individual thing; it's nudging the whole in a new direction.”

“Quite right!” Rarity said triumphantly.

“That does still leave me at a loss insofar as why you consider fashion an art form that actually benefits from these kind of tiny contributions.”

Rarity felt her face twitch as she bottled her frustration and anger up to release later. “Why, wasn't that the entire point of this conversation?”

“I've sort of lost track,” Discord said with a shrug. “But since we're on the subject...” The spirit of chaos and disharmony sent the chair, pipe and jacket away, replacing them with an absurd outfit comprised of objects found in a typical, household kitchen. To make matters worse, the outfit had clearly been designed for a mare and was both jarringly effeminate and much too small on Discord.

“Now, I may not be an expert on fashion or art, but this is some real cutting edge stuff.” He pointed out while striking a runway pose. “I suppose repurposing everyday items as clothes counts as taking inspiration from somepony else's work, making it derivative in a sense, but you have to admit that it's creative. Unless I'm mistaken, you started this little craze during Fashion Week in Manehatten, didn't you?”

“Yes, I-”

“You won the contest you entered your 'Hotel Chic' in, for that matter.”

“Well, yes-”

“So, it's clear that ponies prefer the novelty of entirely new ideas over, say, the kind of painstaking effort and technical skill of producing an entirely new, aesthetically pleasing and functionally practical fabric like the runner-up managed to do. Curry Poloshirt, or whoever.”

Rarity literally bit her tongue in an effort to not blow up in Discord's face. Discord, on the other paw/claw/hoof, was running his tongue around his asymmetrical fang as he relished the look on the fashionable pony's face. She was turning red through her pure-as-the-driven-snow coat and her snout had scrunched up in that way ponies do whenever they're holding something back. He wondered if she would even bother trying to lay claim to her pilfered product, or if she was seething over the insinuation that she had wasted her talents developing it in the first place.

Rarity managed to force a smile, though she was still glaring daggers. “Well, I'm just so... happy to have inspired a new movement-”

“You mean trend.”

“After all, it's very flattering when so many ponies want to emulate one's style.”

“I'm sorry, are we referring to the same ponies jumping on the latest band-wagon?”

“In time, this will hopefully cause fashion designers to broaden their horizons and consider new possibilities.”

“Giving them new and exciting venues for turning the mundane into the hilarious. I think I finally understand. When history looks back on this period and tries it's best to glean information about forgotten Equestrian culture from our clothing, they'll remember you for showing ponies that literally anything can be fashionable if presented in the right light, regardless of how idiotically impractical or ridiculous. Not at all like Sherry Whatsherface who will be forgotten alongside the countless ponies who made textiles, dyes, patterns and all other manner of boring commonplace things that are the unappreciated cornerstones of the clothing industry.”

“You horrible monster!” Rarity finally snapped. “Do you have any idea how long it took to make that fabric!? It works on everything! It's revolutionary! It's stylish and comfortable and was supposed to leave a lasting impression!”

“And you, being the creative artist you are, were able to overshadow it and cause it to fall by the wayside using an idea you came up with in a day. Less than that. A fabric is a fabric, but a new idea is something else entirely. New, however, is a fleeting thing. Which is exactly why being remembered is important: if nopony remembered it, how could they avoid repeating themselves?”

“What?” Rarity panted, feeling physically and emotionally drained from her outburst.

“It makes perfect sense to me now. A 'new' idea is only yours if you came up with it first. And, if you can't attribute a name to an idea, then nopony had it before, therefore it's new and yours to do with as you like.”

“That doesn't make sense,” Rarity pouted. “What are you getting at?”

“Take Applejack for example. She and her whole family have been growing, picking and selling apples and apple products for generations. Nopony can say anypony was doing it before the apples were, and they've been doing it the same way for – well, forever as far as we're concerned. If anypony had a new way of doing it, they've have tried it by now.”

“They have,” Rarity muttered to herself, remembering a couple of slick, fast-talking brothers.

“My point is, they're working directly from nature, there's no room to be derivative or creative. Fashion, on the other hand – er, hoof – is always changing, but why? It's because it easy to take somepony's idea and change it just a little, and then a little bit more, and then a lot more, until you have a completely different idea. Ponies who have ideas that don't look at all like the one's that came before are the most successful! That's where 'cutting edge' comes from. It's why your new line outshined the competitors and why none of the knock-off copies are selling nearly as well. It's also why neo-everything is popular: nopony can remember what those old styles were like or who came up with them. Everything in fashion has to be brand new, then it gets buried under newer ideas, and eventually dug up again, once everypony has forgotten them.”

Rarity wanted to argue, to tell Discord that ideas – good ideas – aren't just tossed aside once something else comes along. She wanted to disprove the notion that the best ideas are “dug up” after the pony who had them is long gone and forgotten; that somepony else can just lay claim to them, like a treasure hunter robbing graves. The problem was that she didn't know what to say. For some reason, Discord's nonsense seemed to actually... make sense.

“I think I'm starting to get a sense for all this... status quo ponies love so much,” Discord mused to himself. “Keeping things moving in one direction is just how you keep doing new things and not just going in circles. Although, sometimes you go around and around anyway. Well, at least I know for certain that ponies respond well to the new and unexpected as long as it doesn't overwhelm them. Maybe just a little chaos now and then isn't so bad, at least compared to none.” He continued rambling to nopony as he lackadaisically floated out the window, leaving Rarity alone.

Rarity had been brimming with inspiration just before Discord arrived that morning. Now she felt drained. She returned to the Neo-Classical design she had been working on. It was nearly finished; she had been quite happy with it earlier and was ironing out some alternative details. Now when she looked at it, the design seemed tired and contrived. It wasn't anything more than a rehash of a style that had been originally created out of necessity and augmented by vanity. Long ago, the clothes had served a vital purpose. Now they appeared to be out of place, stolen from where they belonged, and the gemstones she had added to the outfit (to give it a modern twist with some of her own personality) looked gaudy and tacked on. She crumpled up the paper and threw it away. Rarity stared into the fresh, blank paper in front of her, futilely willing herself to come up with a more original fashion.

She was so absorbed in her frustration that even with her critical attention to detail, she couldn't possibly have seen her cutie mark turning one lighter shade after another.
> Chapter 3: Who's Your Friend?
> --------------------------------------------------------------------------

	The sun was slowly approaching the apex of its tilted arc across the sky. They'll meet for lunch an hour or so after noon, Discord remembered. I could push the sun back a bit, but everypony would probably notice. Unless I pushed time backward too, but then I would undo some of what I've already done today, and I hate repeating myself. Discord puzzled over his dilemma. He could maybe get in two more ponies before Fluttershy met with all of her friends for lunch, but all of the three remaining? He settled for slowing time imperceptibly without slowing the ponies themselves. It won't be enough to make a difference, but it means that Celestia's workday will be longer and in a few centuries it'll start to catch up with her. Discord chuckled darkly to himself over his petty and miniscule cruelty.

Wasting time was fun, but the personification of chaos wanted to impress his one true friend today, and so he scanned the streets below in the hopes of finding a commotion. Out of all Ponyville, only two ponies seemed to cause much ruckus: Pinkie Pie and Rainbow Dash. Of the two, the former was an unpredictable but steady stream of boundless energy, and the latter blazed in bursts – switching back and forth between periods of hyper-activity and laziness. Either one commanded the attention of their peers on a daily basis. If he could just find a party or a crowd of slack-jawed, easily impressed ponies with their snouts upturned, he could certainly find the pony responsible. A bit ironically, he found neither a shindig nor a gaping gaggle of ignoramuses, but he did fly headlong into Rainbow Dash when neither of them were paying attention to where they where going.

“Ow! Hey, watch it!” Rainbow cried out before even realizing whom or what she'd flown into. “Aw, not you. What do you want?”

“For starters, I'd like to know why everypony keeps asking me that.”

“What?”

“At the very least, I'll settle for an apology.”

“From me? For what!?”

So many things. Like your grating voice, or the way you always immediately blame me when things go wrong in my presence, or the dumb look on your face right now. “For flying into me and then rudely assuming that I'd come all the way here just to bother you.”

“Didn't you?”

This is going to be so much fun, Discord thought to himself sarcastically before realizing that his sarcasm was wasted by not being shared. “More or less, yes. I've come looking for you, because I'd like to talk.”

“Why didn't you just say that when I asked what you want?”

“Why is everything you say a question?”

“Good point. I don't even know why I'm talking to you,” Rainbow Dash retorted just before she sped away.

You're not getting off that easy. Discord easily caught up and told her: “I was sent by Fluttershy.”

Dash slowed her pace a little. “Is she okay?”

“She's just dandy, thanks for asking about us. Both of us. You're such a good friend for caring about how each of us are doing.”

“I don't care about how you're doing. What did Flutters send you to tell me?”

“She didn't send me to tell you anyth-”

“So you lied,” Rainbow Dash accused.

“No. Listen. She sent me just to talk.”

“Huh?” Rainbow came to a sudden stop, forcing Discord to actually turn around after he flew right by her. “I don't get it. Talk about what?”

Discord scratched his scalp. Is she really this dense? She must make a habit of landing on her head. “She wants me to talk to all of her friends. You know, get some quality time together. Bonding and whatnot.”

Rainbow Dash just hovered and stared hard at Discord, with a look of disbelief plain on her face. After a moment, she shook her head and said, “No way, not even for Fluttershy.”

Discord watched as she turned and began to fly away. There we are, finally one of Fluttershy's friends is proving my point for me. Now if only the others had been so obliging, I could have already been done with this tiresome exercise. Although, if I don't at least try... “I guess that makes me a better friend than you!” he called after her.

Rainbow Dash came to a stop, seemingly frozen in place, but for her wings beating. She jerked around and zipped straight into Discord's face, literally pressing her face against his aggressively as she growled, “Say that again, Discord.”

“I am a better friend to Fluttershy than you. No, I'm a better friend outright.”

Rainbow snorted and pulled back, assuming an offensive pose midair as she did so. “You've got some nerve. What makes you think you're a good friend, let alone better than me? Just cuz you'll do something she asks you to once in a while?”

“No. I'm better to her because I actually care about how she feels.”

“Pfft.” Rainbow Dash rolled her eyes. “Lame-brain. I care about her more than you do.”

“Not enough to even try when she asks her friends to get along,” Discord scolded. “I've done my best to patch things up with Applejack and Rarity already. We had very constructive talks about-”

“Don't care,” Rainbow interrupted bluntly. “You won't listen to Flutters unless she threatens you, you've tried to drive our friends apart and you never, ever help or spend time with us unless it somehow amuses you. These 'talks' are just another game to you.”

“To be perfectly clear, none of you aside from Fluttershy made any attempt to spend time with me or were ever willing to give me the benefit of the doubt since my reformation. I have, however, been in correspondence with Fluttershy and visited her on several occasions. It's true that I wouldn't be doing this if she hadn't asked me to, but she did. The very least you could do is give me one chance. You never have before.”

“Maybe that's because in the whole time I've known you, you've stolen my wings, tricked me into thinking my childhood home was being destroyed, manipulated me into abandoning my friends, destroyed my current home, tried to take advantage of Fluttershy, allowed Equestria to nearly be destroyed by evil vines that you knew how to get rid of and have just been spiteful and annoying.”

“If I'm really so bad that I'm not worth your time, why do you suppose I didn't go right back to causing chaos once the Elements of Harmony had been returned whence they came? On top of that, why would I float here and argue with you to appease Fluttershy if I didn't actually care?”

“I didn't say you don't care. You just don't care about anypony else.”

Discord actually hadn't expected this. Rude, abrasive and accusatory, sure; but for Rainbow Dash to concede that he was genuinely Fluttershy's friend? He had assumed that nopony really believed he was capable of friendship. Ah, now we're getting somewhere.

“So, you admit it.”

“What are you talking about?”

“You admit that I care more than you.”

“You're full of-”

Discord put his lion arm over her shoulders and pinched her lips shut with his eagle claw. “Now, now. Don't be so literal that we end up playing semantics. I'm sure I'll get enough of that from Princess Twilight Sparkle later on.” Dash wriggled out of his grip. “You admitted that I care enough about Fluttershy to actually try and make friends with you and the rest of your little clique, but you don't care enough to reciprocate. Ergo, I care more than you.”

“What you just said proves that you're lying. You're turning this into another game to try and tear us apart.”

“No, I'm using a faulty argument to convince you to talk to me. It doesn't have to be about this... I can see that it's making you... uncomfortable.”

“What's that supposed to mean!?”

“Just that you don't like questioning such integral aspects of your identity.”

Rainbow gave Discord a long, hard look; he could practically hear the cogs grinding in her head as the pitiful, overworked hamster ran in its wheel. It was so delightful to watch her make up her mind whether or not to ask the obvious question that had to be burning in her brain, but he needed to say something to fill the silence. She might get bored and fly off otherwise. Or I might.

“Something on your mind?” Besides the seething start of a frothing, frustrated fit?

“What do you mean?”

Discord began flying in slow circles around her. “Are you thinking about anything? A foreign concept, I'm sure, but your face has the appearance of deep concentration.”

Dash grit her teeth and let out a slow breath. It sounded to Discord as though her head were venting from overheating. “I'm not doing this. You're not trying to have a conversation with me, you're trying to get under my skin. Being friends with somepony doesn't mean getting along with all of their other friends. I'm not going to get into a fight with you, I'm not going to let you get to me, I'm flying away.”

“I suppose that's inevitable,” Discord said as he scratched his chin and tightened his circles around Rainbow. “Running away is the one thing the fastest flier in Equestria is best at.”

Dash dove under him and began to fly away.

“You've got quite a history of running away from the truly difficult problems, as I understand it.”

Rainbow faltered for a moment and began to turn, before resuming her pace.

“Such a shame, really. In the end you don't have much of a choice. Trapped in a no-win situation like yours...” Discord trailed off as he watched her go. Oh well, I tried, he thought to himself with a shrug. I'm a bit surprised she didn't stand up to me, maybe she's not as simple as I thought. He turned his gaze downward, wondering if he could still find Pinkie Pie before lunch.

The sound of harried wings and barely audible grumbling met his ears. He looked back up just as Rainbow was within earshot. “Alright, Discord, let's hear it, huh!? Whadda ya mean, my identity? Where do you get off calling me a coward? And saying I'm in a no-win situation?”

“Well-”

“And don't mix words with me! Lay it out straight, or I'll fly away and never give you another chance! You asked for it, so here it is!”

Discord held his elbow in his paw and put a talon over his lips while he considered her ultimatum. The phrase is “mince words,” not mix, which means to soften the impact of one's message, not obfuscate it. Also, you're the one who came flying back to me. Still, she's being obliging, and I don't have all day.

“Fine. In order: You define yourself by your loyalty to your friends, which is imperfect at best. You've avoided situations where you didn't think you would come out on top or weren't sure what was the right thing to do. Finally, you still have an important decision to make in your future which you either haven't considered much – due to shortsightedness, subconsciously avoiding it or choosing not to think on it – or you have considered it, but haven't discussed it with your friends.”

Rainbow opened and closed her mouth twice before mumbling, “What-what's that supposed to mean?”

“To be fair, you might have talked about it with some of them, but not Fluttershy. I get most of my news about Ponyville from her.” Whether or not I want it. I just don't have the heart to tell her I'm sick of getting letters about whatever banal thing her animals have done recently.

“You – I...” Rainbow Dash's confusion quickly turned into anger. She growled, “I told you not to jerk me around-”

“I'm not, I swear. Ask me to clarify anything.”

“I don't run away from my problems. I just don't always know how to deal with them right away.”

“My mistake.”

“SHUT UP!” Discord recoiled slightly from the unexpected outburst and nearly retaliated with his magic. Turning Rainbow Dash into a house plant would have been simple enough, but it wasn't entirely original. “Tell me what this decision I haven't made is supposed to be.”

Discord curled forward in a “C” shape, resting his elbows on his knees and his chin on his interlaced fingers. His tail flicked up and down and he narrowed his eyes. “If you have an opportunity to join the Wonderbolts – which I suspect you will, unless Fluttershy has been embellishing her stories – will you take it?”

“Of course!” Dash responded. “Being a Wonderbolt is my dream!”

“Is it? On more than one occasion you've chosen your friends over them. Although, you didn't want to.”

“Those were the hardest choices of my life, and I made them because I was afraid that being a Wonderbolt would change me. The response I got from Spitfire both times told me that she wanted me on her team even more for being a loyal friend and having my priorities straight.”

“True, true... but deciding to stick with Ponyville in lieu of joining the Cloudsdale team wasn't a simple matter of principle. You decided that it was more important to you to carry your friends, who have virtually no interest in athletic competition, through a qualifying trial. You know well enough that they have almost no chance of placing in the Equestrian Games, unlike Cloudsdale, but wanted to stand by them regardless.”

“There's more to it than that!”

“Is there? Your friends wouldn't have held it against you. That would have been petty of them. They would want to support you as you make a name for yourself that could easily launch a long and successful career.”

“The Wonderbolts practically abandoned Soarin. They decided to take him back after we confronted them. I made a choice based on my virtues.”

Discord straightened out and laid his paw on Dash's shoulder in a consoling fashion. He asked sympathetically, “So, you're saying that the Wonderbolts prize capability over camaraderie? That they pushed you to emulate a dangerous flier with a lack of empathy or concern for others, and then later tried to get you to replace one of their own when he failed to meet their expectations?”

“That's...” Rainbow swatted away his hand. “Spitfire didn't realize how reckless Lightning Dust was until I pointed it out. And she and Fleetfoot apologized to Soarin and they are still a close team!”

“Never mind the PR disaster if a trainee at the Wonderbolts Academy killed 5 ponies during what was supposed to be a routine training exercise.” Discord theorized as he tugged on his goatee. “Nor the fact that Cloudsdale needed a third flier right away if they were still going to qualify for the relay, and had no remaining Wonderbolt members to fill in if Soarin had chosen not to cooperate. Then again, I suppose that he might have been kicked off the team for good if he hadn't danced to their tune.”

“That's not – You don't even – I'm not listening to this! You couldn't say anything about me that had any weight so you're just bashing on my heroes for a couple of bad experiences I've had with them!”

“Well, maybe I've gotten the wrong idea. I mean, it's easy to be critical of them when they've been set apart from everypony else on such a high pedestal. Speaking of which, even if you're right and they're as loyal to each other as you think, do you really want to be like them?”

“Ugh, are we really going to keep talking about this? Your arguments are getting even dumber; I like being the center of attention!”

“Well, of course! You're the biggest, most brightly colored fish in this pond! It's not like you left Cloudsdale for Ponyville because you were afraid you wouldn't stand out there!”

Rainbow Dash shot Discord the ugliest look she could before turning to fly away. “I am so gone.”

Discord sensed his misstep and shot out in front of her to stop her. “Now, wait just a moment. I'm sorry, I didn't really mean it.”

“Good-bye, Discord.” Rainbow flew in a loop under and over him and changed direction.

“I really do apologize,” Discord claimed as he teleported into her path. “It was completely uncalled for and I promise it won't happen again.”

“Tell Fluttershy that I hated this little talk and that we shouldn't ever do it again.” Dash dove straight down and pulled up between buildings in a narrow alley, deftly navigating the winding side street.

It might actually be hard to follow her if not for that conspicuous technicolor contrail. Discord bent the shape of space-time so that Rainbow Dash was suddenly up in the air beside him again. Before she could speed off, he coiled around her midsection, pleading: “I know that you're cross, but I do have one last, genuine concern to bring up, and-”

Dash was holding an intense eye-contact that would give Fluttershy's Stare a run for its money. “Get off of me,” she demanded in a voice far quieter than Discord had thought she was capable of.

“Your attempt at intimidating me is commendable, but ineffective. I want to say one last thing and if you really don't want to speak to me anymore after that, I won't harass you again.”

“Until the next time you decide to ruin my day.”

“I prefer to think of it as enhancing ponies' days, but that is neither here nor there. The decision to join the Wonderbolts won't be difficult because of some hypothetical conflict of interest or questionable morals within their organization. The real question is: can you stand that kind of lifestyle? Think about it, the nearest base is in Cloudsdale, where the majority of your friends literally can't set hoof without making special arrangements. You wouldn't have control of your own schedule, or choose where you live, or know for certain where you'd be in a few months or if you'd even be safe.”

“Safe!? What are you implying?”

“Hang on, I'm getting there! The Wonderbolts are an elite faction of the Equestrian Guard. If there's an emergency which requires an immediate response, even on the border in the outlying frontier towns, the Wonderbolts are dispatched to get there as quickly as possible. They race to control freak weather, confront monsters, save ponies in distress and fight invading threats. You think of them as the best fliers in Equestria and only consider the PR stunts and public appearances to drum up morale amongst the citizens, but even that is potentially dangerous, not to mention exhausting.”

“Do you think I don't know that?” Dash yelled at him as she wriggled, trying to break free. “I've been working my flanks off for years to be good enough to be one of them. I know it's hard and even risky; I'm not a foal. Now, let go!”

“Hold your horses, I'm not done. Consider for a moment what it would be like, really try to picture it: You'd be part of a team that travels around the nation, performing demonstrations, making appearances at important events. Almost every day you aren't performing or risking your life to protect others, you'd be training. Synchronized acrobatic moves for shows, military formations and strategies, safety regulations and protocols for how to present yourself as a Wonderbolt.”

“I know, it's my dream, after all. I want to do it!”

“But when will you ever see your friends?” Dash stopped struggling and Discord loosened his grip a bit.

“I-I'll see them on my days off!”

“Really? Those will be once every other week, right? You'll have all day to leave base, as long as you make curfew. How far can you get? Halfway across the country? A third? A quarter? Most of your down time will be a half-day a few times a week. How far then?”

“That doesn't matter, I'll make it work. I'll make-”

“Time? How? Your superiors decide how much time off you get. Face it, you won't see them unless you're stationed near Ponyville. You'll move around constantly, staying put for a month or so at a time. You'll get to see them two or four... maybe six days out of the year. Sometimes they'll be busy with their own lives, but I'm sure they can make time for you.”

“It won't be that bad!” Dash insisted even though she'd practically stopped fighting. “We'll write to each other all the time. I'll send them tickets so they can see me perform and visit with me after.”

“I'm sure you'll have plenty of time in between performances, and you won't be dead tired after a long day of doing the same moves over and over again; the moves you'd spent weeks practicing. You're right though, it won't be that bad. I'm sure you'll meet plenty of new ponies while you travel. You and the other Wonderbolts in your squad will be best chums, and the screaming, cheering fans who don't really know you will all want autographs and photos with you. On your free days, you can have fun showing off for all the ponies who recognize you and want to see you do tricks just for them.”

Discord uncoiled, allowing Dash to slip free. She began hovering there with an uneasy expression on her face.

“After all, the alternative is much worse.”

“Alternative?”

“You could just run away from your destiny. Deny yourself your full potential and stay here with your friends. They'll be there by your side as you spend each day wondering, 'Was it worth it? Did I make the right choice?' As the years pass by, you'll start to regret not going for it. You'll start to resent your friends for holding you back. Eventually, you'll forget why you ever threw it all away for them.”

Rainbow Dash snarled at Discord and tried to kick him in the face. He curled back and swirled into an impromptu vortex, disappearing into thin air before rematerializing on a nearby cloud. He watched as she threw a tantrum in midair. “You think you know so much!? Why don't you try to figure out where you'll be in a few years, huh!? ALL ALONE! Nopony likes you! You haven't got a future! I have friends and skills and crazy potential! I'll do whatever I want with my life!”

Discord chuckled to himself as he quickly darted to the ground while she wasn't looking his way. This wasn't very constructive, he admitted to himself. Fluttershy will probably be mad at me, and it will make lunch unpleasant if I show up. In my defense, I hadn't actually planned on things going this sour. She didn't want to try any more than I did. Then again, why am I defending myself? I told Fluttershy it was a waste of time... Maybe I just wanted to prove I was right? Should I have tried harder to befriend the one pony who wanted my friendship the least, who I have the least in common with? You can't make everypony happy. Discord slunk silently towards Sugarcube Corner, plagued by heavier thoughts than he was used to and hoping that Pinkie Pie could lift them.

Meanwhile, Rainbow Dash settled onto a cloud and laid down. She was headed out to practice some new stunts before Discord showed up, but now she felt exhausted. She knew that it was all fake. He was just trying to ruin her day. He was just trying to make her question her friendships. Only now she was questioning her aspirations. Were the Wonderbolts less than they seemed? Would she be lonely and miserable if she really, actually made it in? If it didn't work out... then what?

She had no idea her cutie mark was a little less vibrant.
> Chapter 4: Discord!
> --------------------------------------------------------------------------

	The smell of fresh bread, sugar and spices became tantalizingly palpable. It was lunch hour for most of the workforce in Ponyville, and there was a high demand for carbs and sugar to help push on till quitting time. As usual, most ponies went to Sugarcube Corner to satisfy such cravings. The sight of a draconequus dampened that demand somewhat.

Aw, look at the pitiful plebs, Discord thought to himself as he waded between mares and stallions who were slightly more hungry than frightened. Patiently plying at professions, practically purposeless. Performing pragmatically to the point of pliability. Plaintively pleading predictably for pleasant pastries to appease their plain palates. Perhaps, perchance, plentiful pandemonium can pierce the apathy plaguing Post-Discordant pony populaces!

It was Pinkie Pie who interrupted Discord's poetic inner monologue. “Hiya, Discord! Didja stop by for some sweets?”

“Alas, pastel pink ponies play pranks and provide parties which placate perilous aspirations.”

*Giggle* “Thanks, I think!”

“Pardon me, Pinkie Pie. Er.” Discord adjusted his horns like temperamental TV antennae. “Sorry about that; persistent alliteration. I'm sure you know what I mean.”

“Sure. Sometimes I say strange stuff and sing silly songs, such that it starts to stick!”

Discord caught himself chuckling in a lighthearted manner. Even I must admit, Pinkie Pie can inspire smiles like no one else. Shame that she has such a tame sense of humor. With a little prompting and a magic boost, I imagine she could spread some wonderful chaos.

“I came by to chat for a bit. However, it seems that you are far too busy.”

“Don't be silly, if you pinch a teensy-eensy wrinkle in the fabric of space-time inside the shop, we can have all these customers served and out the door lickety-split!”

“I'm pleasantly surprised, Pinkie Pie. Using my powers with total disregard to the consequences, and for personal gain no less.” The Spirit of Chaos and Disharmony snapped his fingers with a small flick of his wrist for flourish.

From the perspective of the patrons waiting in line outside, it seemed as if Sugarcube Corner had suddenly hired several new ponies to handle the rush. Customers were pouring out the door to make way for more, and each pony seemed to come out as quickly as they went in. All of them were disappointed when the line reverted to it's regular steady pace just as they got in the door, and were thoroughly confused when their watches ran backward for the rest of the day after leaving.

“It looks like the line has calmed down,” Pinkie observed. “We should probably stop altering the ebb and flow of time until it's more convenient to break the laws of physics. After all, I don't wanna celebrate my birthday earlier in the year than normal; it would be really confusing to everypony when I mail out the invitations!”

With another snap, the alterations to time abated.

“So, what's on your mind?”

“Fluttershy insisted that I spend more time with the rest of our friends, so I'm making the rounds today. I just came to visit and speak with you.”

“Okie-doki-loki. What do you wanna talk about?”

This gave Discord pause. What do I want to talk about? The others all more or less gave me a subject to discuss. “How about the difference between draconequui and ponies?”

“Y'mean like how you're made up of a buncha different parts and have really powerful magic that even super-duper unicorns like the princesses can't match?”

“I was thinking less physical. Culturally, what separates us?”

“Gosh, I guess nothing if you don't want it to. I mean, you turned over a new leaf just so we could all be friends. That was a smart move, by the way. As soon as I figure out when your birthday is, I'm gonna throw the best party you've ever been to. It's gonna be completely spur-of-the-moment, unplanned, impulsive fun! I've actually come up with a few ideas for party games that are all based on the idea of causing as much chaotic havoc as possible. Hopefully with less potential for injury than the obstacle course I made when my sister visited.”

“Ooh! What's she like?”

“She really likes rocks!”

Discord could only stare momentarily while he tried to reconcile the things Pinkie had just said to him. Eventually, he decided to redirect the conversation again. “You'd do anything to make your friends happy, wouldn't you, Pinkie Pie?”

“Hmm.” Pinkie's face scrunched up as she rubbed her chin with a hoof. She stuck out the tip of her tongue and tilted her head. Her eyes rolled slowly from one side to the other and then darted back and forth a few times. She mumbled to herself, gasped, giggled and then nodded in an affirming way. “Hang on a sec, I need to write some of this down.”

Discord grabbed her shoulder as she turned to get something to write with. “Wait, wait, wait, I didn't mean literally! I'm not asking you to weigh every conceivable circumstance under the sun. I just want to know if you'd go to considerable lengths to make your friends happy.”

“Well, duh, I can't think of everything! I just wanted to make some notes of good ideas I had. Anyway, yeah, I love to make ponies smile! Who doesn't? I'm the best at getting smiles out of others, and it's because I won't rest until I know for certain that I've done everything I can do to spread joy and laughter.”

“Do you only love to make ponies smile?” Discord asked with a comically over-emphasized pout.

*Giggle-snort* “No, silly, I want everyone to smile. Do you need some cheering up?”

“It's not so much that I'm sad as just... Well, look at this way: Suppose I needed something to be happy.”

“M-hm.”

“Now, would you tell me that I couldn't have that thing?”

“Of course not! I'd gift wrap it myself and deliver it to you personally! What is it? Do you want it for your birthday? Is your next birthday before or after this year's Hearth's Warming?”

“Hold on, hold on. What if I told you that my having this thing would make somepony else unhappy?”

Pinkie's eyes went wide. She looked deeply conflicted. “I don't understand, why would your gift make somepony unhappy? Would they be jealous? Maybe I can get them one too.”

“I'm afraid it isn't something you can give as a gift, Pinkie Pie. To me or anyone else. But it's something I've been denied.”

“And that makes you unhappy?”

“Yes.”

“And getting it would make the pony who isn't letting you have it unhappy?”

“That's the gist of it.”

“Well that's not fair. One pony can't sacrifice the happiness of another for their own sake.”

“I feel quite the same way.”

“Well, obviously. I mean, you gave up spreading eternal chaos because you knew it was making others unhappy. Their suffering wasn't worth the fun you were having; you're a good friend if I ever saw one.”

Discord gave her an annoyed look and asked flatly, “You knew full well what I was getting at, didn't you?”

“Whadda ya mean?” she responded without missing a beat, bubbly as ever.

“I'm referring to not being allowed to spread chaos while still being friends with ponies.”

“You let Auntie Pinkie Pie tackle that one,” she said as though she'd just been asked to solve a simple problem. “Y'see, nopony said you couldn't cause some chaos. You just can't spread eternal chaos all willy-nilly. If you want to have a little fun, you've gotta clean up after yourself is all.”

“You're saying no one will mind if I turn their house into a giant, taciturn, frosting frothing, cake monster that eats clouds and spits out cotton candy so long as I revert everything to normal afterward?”

“Well, as long as nopony gets hurt, why not? Heck, if I get some of that cotton candy you can do it to Sugarcu-”

“NO!” came Mrs. Cake's voice from the kitchen. It had the quality of absolute authority that kills enthusiasm dead on contact.

“Let's take a rain-check on that,” Pinkie whispered with a wink. “By the way, could you make a cotton candy cloud that rains chocolate for me? I've missed that ever since we had to turn you to stone that one time.”

“Second time.”

“At least it didn't last as long.”

What is happening? I feel like I've not only lost control of the conversation, but I'm actually the one getting annoyed. “Pinkie, let me ask you something different. I'm trying to better understand all of my friends, since Fluttershy seems to think I've been less than diligent in my study of friendship.”

“I'm sorry, but it's completely natural. I don't have any styling tips for you.”

“What?”

“I know, it's kinda hard for me to believe. Some mornings I wake up and just ask myself, 'dang girl, how did you get that adorable perm?' Well, my mane is just that way. The world may never know.”

Discord rubbed his temples in slow circles. “I wanted to know how you go through life inspiring happiness in others with very little regard for your own pleasure. All you seem to care about is whether or not those around you are having a good time. Isn't it exhausting?”

“Oh, Dissy, it's not like that. I enjoy every minute of it.”

“Well, sure, you get to feel good about helping others; very charitable of you. However, if you spend so much time making sure others are having fun, when do you get to have fun for yourself?”

“You're missing the point, silly. I'm not just making fun for my friends, I'm having fun with them! It's always more fun when you have friends to party with or share whatever you enjoy.”

“I suppose that's true, but I'm in a bit of a bind. Nopony seems to like it when I share my chaos with them. Even if I promise to set everything to rights again, they always act like the sky is falling. And it hardly ever actually is!”

“Hmm. I see... I think the best thing to do is show them how much fun chaos can be in little ways. When it's cold out and ponies are playing in the snow, make a cloud that rains hot chocolate and hand out mugs! If the leaves are piling up on ponies' doorsteps, try turning them into neat shapes and making them fly! I bet there's all sorts of things you could do to help out or spread cheer with your magic.”

“What if I don't enjoy doing those things?”

“Huh? I thought you said you wanted to share–?”

“Chaos. I want to spread some harmless chaos. One little cocoa cloud or some autumnal paper airplanes are just simple tricks. I miss replacing dull greens and browns with jarring, clashing, garish patterns. I have a craving to turn Canterlot Mountain into ice cream and see what flavor it is. I want to stroll around Ponyville Town Square and replace the samey old shoppes that you see everyday with carnival rides and monuments and exotic zoo features. All of that sounds like fun, but everypony acts like I'm stepping all over their proverbial toes. Why can't they just enjoy it?”

Pinkie Pie crossed her fore-hooves on the counter and set her chin down on her ankles. “Hmph. Well, I can't say that carnivals and mountains of ice cream don't sound like fun. I guess it's just the scale of it. If you turn a town into a carnival, where do you get the ponies to run and maintain it? What happens to the stores you replace if they don't make any money while the carnival's going? What if some ponies needed to do something important, but the zoo animals are where their dentist appointment was supposed to be?”

“So you think it's pointless? I can't have fun just because it's an inconvenience?”

“No. I just mean what happens?”

Discord was perplexed. “Hm? You want me to actually answer your questions? I thought you were being rhetorical.”

“Half and half. I'm just pointing out that when you change something, you're eliminating possibilities. Maybe some ponies were counting on some things not changing.”

“So, I should cater to everyone who took it for granted that things wouldn't change?”

“It's not exactly taking it for granted that a dentist won't be a tiger tomorrow,” Pinkie pointed out as she sat back up. “You just don't have to rely on stability, since you can make almost anything in an instant. If you let everypony know you'd set up a carnival and turn Canterlot Mountain into ice cream before you did it, it wouldn't really be a problem.”

I think Celestia would disagree about the ice cream, Discord thought to himself. “But I like to do things in the moment. How much notice do they need? A day? A week? I probably won't still be interested, but now I'd be obligated, because they expect it. Once again, I'm not having fun because I'm catering to ponies' tendency to assume things will be the way they want.”

“Wowie-zowie, this is tougher than I thought. What if you just create chaos somewhere that ponies won't mind? If you're lonely doing it alone, you can always give an open invitation for everyone to just show up and join in. Audience participation for the most unpredictable show in Equestria!”

“Tell me, honestly, how many you think would show up.”

“I know I would, and Flutters, too. I'd definitely encourage others to come.”

“Be that as it may, I'm no performance artist. Besides, I don't want to show up at the same spot day after day and spend my time doing magic tricks. There would be no inspiration. No city full of complacent foals who haven't had to deal with their lives turning upside-down at the drop of a hat. No long-standing traditions to subvert, or works of art to deface, or dreams to twist...”

Discord went quiet for a moment as he realized that everything ponies' held dear were the basis of his passion. Do I really need ponies to be happy? Am I just some fun-house mirror to reflect warped versions of their reality? He shook his head a little and dismissed the thought. He noticed that Pinkie Pie was waiting for him to respond to something. “Pardon?”

“I asked why you just want to destroy stuff. Can't you spread chaos without getting rid of something else?”

“Oh, Pinkie Pie, you're so naïve. How can I create chaos otherwise? Conjuring up some random thing isn't chaos, it's just a trick. Chaos is inherently creative and destructive. It must subvert, invert, revert, advert, unvert, upvert, downvert and aroundvert. It's inherently a... It's a social change.”

“Huh?”

“Chaos is what happens when you change what's expected. It's not that something physically changed. If a restaurant becomes a clothing shop, nopony cares, so long as it was planned. But, if a five-star hotel changes into a colossal elephant with wings, everyone notices. It was supposed to be impossible; it was unexpected. That's why it's funny.”

“It's funny because it's impossible?”

“And it happened anyway. What's the basis of comedy, Pinkie Pie? What is the most important thing when you're trying to get laughs, whether it's a punchline or a prank?”

“That's easy!” Pinkie exclaimed. “You just gotta surprise them! Don't let them see it coming.”

“Subvert expectations. Pinkie, you might be in a better position to understand me than most of Fluttershy's friends, so I want to try to help you get into my frame of mind.”

“If you think it will help you have fun with others, then sure! I'd do anything to make a friend happy.”

“Let me rephrase an earlier question. Do you ever feel like you try harder than most to make others happy? Does it seem like you put more into your relationships than your friends?”

“Nope! I've never thought my friends didn't want to make me happy just as much.”

“Well, sure. They want you to be happy, but you get most of your happiness from making others happy, right? So, maybe they see you bouncing around, smiling and joking, and they think 'Pinkie Pie is happy as a clam, I can just enjoy myself and I know she will too.' So they don't have to try because you're pretty much set.”

“Hmm,” Pinkie seemed to be deep in contemplation trying to remember something. “What does that mean anyway, 'happy as a clam?' I don't think I've ever met a clam. Are they just really, really happy all the time?”

“Try to take this seriously.”

“I am! I'm really not sure what you're getting at. I guess you think that since I'm so optimistic and joyful that my friends never have to cheer me up or help me have a good time, but that isn't really true. My friends make me happy all the time, and not just 'cause I'm excited to spend time with them. They all do little things that make me happier. You know what I mean; Fluttershy makes you happy.”

This is so aggravating! It shouldn't be so hard to get my point across, why does she turn everything I say on it's head!? “Yes, she does, but only for very brief periods of time. I used to be able to just make myself happy whenever I wanted by just being me. Now I can't. So, I'm trying to understand how you do it. If you didn't have others to make happy, how would you stay upbeat?”

“Gosh,” Pinkie said in a soft, melancholy voice, “if I was all alone, I don't know what I'd do. I'd probably just go nuts.”

“I'm not saying if you didn't have friends who make you happy. I mean, if you couldn't derive joy from spreading it. If catering to your friends whimsy didn't make you happy, what would you do?”

Pinkie tilted her head and gave Discord a quizzical look. “You mean... if I had a different special talent? If my thing wasn't throwing parties and cracking jokes and just getting smiles out of ponies?”

“I don't think I put it quite like that-”

“But that's what you mean?”

Discord shrugged.

Pinkie looked down at her hooves for a moment and thought aloud. “Draconequuseseses don't have cutie marks, do they?” She looked back up at him. “I don't have any idea what else I'd do. Making others happy makes me happy. Even if all my friends were still there to cheer me up, not being able to make ponies smile – or not feeling like smiling myself, even when others do – would be awful.”

“Are you saying that your happiness is entirely vicarious?”

“I don't see what predators have to do with it.”

Discord's words stumbled out of his mouth. “What do – No! Vie-care-e-us. I'm asking if your – your happiness is completely dependent on others. On their joy. I don't just mean the fleeting pleasure that acts of kindness bring us. Would your day to day enjoyment of life be gone if you couldn't make others smile and laugh.”

“Well, maybe? I guess so.” Pinkie's ears flopped down to either side of her head and tears formed in the corners of her eyes. She bit her lip and looked up at him pleadingly. “I don't think I wanna talk about this.”

An unfamiliar sensation, like a tight grip, started in Discord's chest. What's that about? I'd better not be getting sick again. “Can you bear with it a moment longer, my dear friend? It's actually immensely helpful.” He gave her his warmest, most charming smile. “The point I'm driving at is a fundamental difference between the way I, an objective newcomer to Equestrian society, see things and the way you do. Your whole life, you've been led to believe that putting others first is inherently good. It makes the society as a whole stronger. You've come to think of collective happiness as more important than that of an individual.”

Pinkie blinked back a tear and pressed on. “It's not just that we put groups above individuals. You can't make everyone happy at the same time, and you can't make any one pony happy all the time. At the end of day, I just want to look back and know that I made the day a little brighter for everypony I came across. If everypony took the time to give a smile and get a smile then I think we'd all be smiling a whole lot more.”

“Well, that's easy to say,” Discord asserted. “For you, it has never been a conflict of interest; in fact, for you serving others is self-serving.”

“Huh?”

“I just mean to say that the trappings of society suit you well. You are expected to put your happiness after everypony else, but by doing so you ensure your own happiness. It's very easy for you to look after your own needs, but difficult for others like me.”

“It doesn't have to be. Everypony likes to make others smile-”

“It just comes naturally to you since it's how you get what you need from society. When I use my friends to satisfy my needs, everypony gets upset. When you do it, it's like you're doing them a favor.”

“I'm not using my friends! All of them like it when I throw parties and give them presents and bake them treats. They're my friends because I sing silly songs and tell jokes and make them laugh.”

“Which is exactly my point. They all love it when you use your talents to brighten their lives, and it gives you a sense of purpose and makes you happy. When I use my talents to surprise ponies and play games and pranks they act like I'm a monster. They tell me the difference is that I'm just using them to have myself a good time, but isn't that why you do what you do? Aren't you just trying to have fun with your friends?”

“No – I mean, yes! There's something different though. They want to have fun with me, too.”

“You're saying they don't want to have fun with me? Do you think I'm a monster?” he asked in a hurt tone of voice.

“No, of course not, Disco! It's just that when you do what you do, they don't always have fun.”

“So, I'm not fun? I'm not spontaneous and funny and full of energy?”

“You are, it's just that sometimes your shenanigans are kinda mean-spirited.”

“Are you saying I'm a bully? That I'm trying to hurt my friends?” Heehee! Misinterpreting on purpose is fun when you get down to it. I wonder, has she really not noticed that I'm playing the game using her own strategy now? “I can't believe you'd accuse me of such a thing.”

“No! I don't know, maybe? I don't think you want to hurt anypony. You just got used to having fun without worrying about how it affected others.”

“How can you possibly relate to that, though? Do you ever wonder if your actions hurt others? Have you ever had to ask yourself if using your talents could actually cost somepony their happiness instead of causing it?”

“Yes.”

“I don't – wait, what?” Discord lost step with his attack. “How...? When?”

“Dashie had her Birthiversary recently.”

That's... not what you call a birthday, Discord silently observed. In fact, you used the word birthday earlier, but OK.

“Another party planner came to town and she wanted him to put everything together. I was so sad and I was worried that I wasn't actually that good at the thing I thought I was best at. I challenged him to a Goof-Off, winner plans the party. The point was to see which of us could make Rainbow happier, but I realized that we were actually ruining her special day instead. I gave up; I conceded and let him have the party so she would be happy. In the end, he and Dash both agreed that they wanted me to help him set everything up. It all worked out, but I had to swallow my pride and accept that I can't always make my friends happy. It hurt, but it was okay. As long as she was happy, it didn't matter if I made her that way.”

Discord took the rare, brief silence Pinkie Pie gave him to think over his strategy. “So, for that short time in between giving up and being asked to help, you thought that the only way to make your friend happy was to let somepony else make her smile and laugh and have a good time?”

“Yes.”

“And that didn't make you happy?”

“No,” Pinkie admitted very quietly. “But she's my friend and-”

“So, what you're saying is this: Even though you knew she'd have fun and that you could come to the party this other pony had put together and have fun with her, you were still unhappy.”

“Yes, but later-”

“So, it's not that your friends are happy that makes you happy. It's that you have the power to make them happy.”

“I-I...” Pinkie stuttered and cast her gaze behind her, to pictures of her friends hanging over the stairs.

“But, in spite of that, you still chose her happiness over yours. That's... I admit, I was trying to convince you that your way of thinking was biased at the very least, if not entirely flawed. However, you walk the walk just as well as you talk the talk. You really do value your friends enough to put their happiness first, even if it is a conflict of interest.”

Pinkie looked back at Discord with a pleading expression again. He couldn't understand it any better than the further tightening in his chest.

“I suppose it doesn't matter if your happiness is the result of benignly using your friends. It's still a result of making them happy. I... I need to think about that.”

“Did... did I help?” Pinkie asked.

“I'm not sure.”

“I never... meant to use them. Do you really think...?”

“We learn something new every day. A good reason to get out of bed in the morning, I suppose.”

Discord walked calmly out of the bakery and started down the street to the little cafe. He would get there early, but not early enough to visit the Golden Oaks library before lunch. The quiet as he sat by himself with certainty that no one besides Fluttershy and her friends would approach him, not even the waiting staff, gave him ample opportunity to mull over his conversations that morning.

Pinkie Pie also had peace and quiet to consider everything that Discord had discussed with her. She wished she didn't. She wished she had customers to help, or catering to prepare, or a friend to spend the remaining time with. Most of all, she wished she could stop wondering if the difference between her and Discord was the results of their actions, or the motivations behind them. She didn't want to know the answer, just to forget the question.

If she'd realized that the color was beginning to leech out of her cutie mark, she would have wished hardest of all that it would stop.
> Interlude: Lunchtime with Fluttershy & Friends
> --------------------------------------------------------------------------

	Discord was idly changing the shade of green on the cafe table he sat at while he picked apart his interactions with Fluttershy's friends that morning. Acrid, acidic, glowing hues flared up as he remembered the less than pleasant shouting and near crying Rainbow Dash and Pinkie Pie had subjected him to. Pastel, minty tones swirled into the material when he recalled the look on Applejack's face when she saw his Tree of Plenty, and the way Rarity gaped at his fashion sense. Vibrant, lively, jungle-esque greens seemed to crawl across the table top leaving splotchy trails upon remembering the lessons he'd learned.

Fluttershy will be pleased overall, I think, he thought. Aside from antagonizing Rainbow Dash – which she completely deserved – I managed to spend time with nearly all of her friends and learn a bit about how they each see the world. Three out of four out of five isn't bad, right? Now if I can just play nice for one little meal, I can put this tiresome exercise behind me. Unless she wants this to be a regular thing. Maybe it was for the best that one of them was upset.

Discord set aside his musings when he heard the familiar, gentle tones of his favorite pegasus. He looked over his shoulder and saw Fluttershy approach with Princess Twilight Sparkle by her side. Less pleasant to spend time with than most, but at least Fluttershy hasn't yet spoken with Rainbow Dash. That probably wouldn't have helped things.

When she saw him, Fluttershy waved in her subdued way, almost as though she were trying to avoid attracting attention in spite of performing an action meant to do exactly that. Discord smiled and waved back. Twilight wore a neutral expression, clearly just as dismayed to spend time together as Discord was. Fluttershy sat by Discord's right side and Twilight sat across from them.

“Good day ladies,” Discord greeted them. “How are we doing?”

“Fine,” Twilight Sparkle replied curtly.

“We're doing very well,” Fluttershy said much more warmly. “How are you, Discord?”

“I've hardly ever been better. I had the pleasure of spending some time with our four other friends this morning.”

“Oh, already? That's wonderful.”

“Already?” Twilight asked. “What exactly were you doing, Discord?”

“Let me explain,” Discord said to Fluttershy before turning his full attention to Twilight. “You see, Princess, Fluttershy asked me to spend more quality time with our mutual friends. I haven't exactly been the most social draconequus.”

“I thought you were the only draconequus,” Twilight pointed out.

And the word games begin, Discord noted with some annoyance. “Well, of course I spent some lovely time with you and Princess Cadance not so long ago. However, I have been downright neglectful of the rest of our circle of friends.”

“I hope you were more considerate and less manipulative with them than you were with Cadance and I.”

“You don't have to take my word for it; they will be arriving shortly. Unless they got lost on the way, which would be dreadfully silly of them.”

“Discord.”

“Relax, I said it only to tease you.”

“Now, Discord,” Fluttershy gently admonished, “please try not to get anypony worked up. A nice, relaxing meal with friends is a great way to help you get used to socializing in a group.”

“It is a bit boring, though. Wouldn't it be better to discuss some challenging topics over our food? I had a series of very interesting chats with the others already.”

“Really?” Twilight Sparkle seemed surprised. “What did you and Rainbow talk about?”

“Er, well, why do you ask about her first?”

“Because she's walking up behind you, and she looks very unhappy.”

Of course she would get here first. Why would I expect anything different? “I admit, she and I didn't get along as well as the others.”

“Talking about me?” came the irritated, aggressive voice of a disgruntled pegasus. Rainbow Dash walked around the table and sat beside Twilight, between her and Fluttershy. She was obviously angry, but withdrawn.

Twilight Sparkle seemed wary and Rainbow Dash was glaring. When Discord looked down at Fluttershy, she wore a stern expression of disapproval.

“Let's make something perfectly clear,” Discord began.

“Oh? What's there to talk about?” Dash interrupted. “Maybe you just wanna shut your mouth before I do it for you.”

Fluttershy spoke up, “Dash, I know that whatever happened, Discord certainly could have handled it better if he upset you this much. However, I want to hear his side of it.”

Rainbow crossed her forelegs and hunched over the table. “Why do you always take his side? You don't really think he's a better friend than me do you?”

Twilight watched Discord, coldly intent.

Fluttershy unfurled her wings and drew both Rainbow Dash and Discord a little closer to herself. “Now you know that's not true. I don't pick favorites, and I certainly wouldn't ever choose one friend over another. I just want to hear from each of you what happened.” Dash just shook her head and brushed Fluttershy off with her wing.

“I think she's just upset that I baited her into talking to me in the first place and asked her some difficult questions about her future,” Discord told them. “I was rude and pushy, I admit it. However, I swear my intentions were not malicious.”

“You accused me of being a bad friend!” Rainbow shouted.

“Why do you think Dashie's a bad friend?” Pinkie Pie asked quietly as she climbed into the seat on Discord's other side. “I just got here, what are we talking about?” Her body language and tone of voice were subdued to the point of making her seem shrunken. Everyone at the table, including Discord was taken aback.

“Pinkie!” Twilight exclaimed with concern. “What's wrong? Are you okay?”

“Uh, it's not important. Just... have a lot on my mind.” She smiled at her friends, but it was so obviously forced that it was extremely unsettling, especially on her face of all ponies.

“Discord...” Fluttershy whispered, as she looked up at him.

It took a moment for him to realize what she suspected. “No. No! We just talked. We discussed how to make others happy and when to put someone else's happiness before our own.” He turned to Pinkie and with some panic creeping into his voice demanded, “Tell them! Tell them about my visit.”

“Um... I'd rather not,” Pinkie said without making eye contact with any of them. “I mean, Dissy didn't do anything. I just feel kinda down after what we talked about.”

“Really? I'm not surprised,” Dash shouted with bitterness dripping from her voice. “Did he try to make you think you weren't good enough? Did he say you cared more about yourself than your friends?”

Pinkie looked away. “I'm sorry,” she whispered.

“What is going on!?” Twilight demanded. “What did you do, Discord?”

“No, this is completely unfair!” Discord said defensively. “I debated with them on subjects I thought they cared about, that's all! Look, Rarity's coming, ask her!”

The fashion forward mare sat between Twilight and Pinkie Pie, seemingly in a sour mood. “Ask me what?” she snapped.

Fluttershy spoke up first, “Rarity, did Discord pay you a visit earlier?”

“Yes.”

“Er, did you enjoy his company?”

“We had a lovely discussion about fashion and how it's a gigantic waste of time. I've spent a few hours since his departure continuing to waste time reinventing my coming Winter line.”

“What does Discord know about fashion, huh? Is it going to eat up all your time and energy and tear you away from your home?” Dash asked as her voice rose. “Are you starting to wonder if you can even choose between your dreams and your friends?”

“No, of course not,” Rarity responded, seemingly unaware of Dash's emotional state. “He merely pointed out how unoriginal everything I've ever done or aspired to do or been inspired by was. As well as explaining why novelty is so much more impressive than technical skill or meticulous planning or culturally relevant design. My own body of work being the principal evidence in his claims.”

“Oh, my...” Fluttershy whimpered, her voice heavy with regret.

“At least you never tricked anypony into liking your clothes,” Pinkie half-moaned from where she sat slumped over the table.

Discord felt oddly threatened. None of the ponies could possibly touch him without the Elements of Harmony, but he was afraid. Princess Twilight Sparkle is trying to stab me with her eyes, Pinkie Pie is melting – possibly literally, Rainbow Dash is having a breakdown, Rarity seems to be stuck in her head rooting around for some elusive creativity, and even Fluttershy seems to have given up on defending me. Please, for the love of... I don't know. For the sake of Celestia's sun and Luna's moon and stars of all things, let Applejack show up and not be a nervous wreck. It didn't matter if the four of them were unhappy, or even if Twilight and the other princesses hated his guts. He just couldn't stand it if Fluttershy was disappointed in him.

“One more chance, perhaps?” Discord asked weakly, wearing a shaky smile. “Applejack hasn't arrived yet. We barely scratched the surface of Equestrian economics and the business model of her farm. Surely, she isn't upset...” Neither Twilight nor Fluttershy seemed convinced. Rainbow was glaring at him as she trembled in her seat. Rarity and Pinkie were in their own little worlds.

“Tell me you didn't mean to,” Fluttershy whispered.

Discord gaped at her for a moment, trying to find his voice. “I never wanted this to happen.”

Fluttershy turned away and nodded gently, which caused her mane to fall across her face and hide her eyes from him. Twilight only sat quietly, evidently waiting to see how this would play out.

Discord craned his neck looking to and fro for a familiar orange pony. After a moment, he saw her trotting in their direction. “There, look! Applejack is on her way. She'll be perfectly fine, you'll see!”

Applejack reached the table after a painfully long moment and sat between Twilight Sparkle and Rainbow Dash. “Howdy, y'all,” she greeted them in her gentle twang. “Sorry I'm late, bucking took much longer than I expected.”

Rainbow couldn't contain her anger. “What did Discord do to you, AJ? He's been tormenting the rest of us, trying to drive us apart.”

“Is that so?” AJ replied as she set her hat on the table and looked up at them. She seemed immensely tired and downtrodden. Her face betrayed a sense of distracted melancholy. “I reckon all he's done to me is make me realize that strong enough magic makes hard work sort of pointless. At least, in a practical sense.” She gave him a long, empty stare.

Princess Twilight and Rainbow Dash shot dirty looks at Discord. Rarity muttered darkly to herself, still absent from the conversation. Pinkie looked like she was grappling with herself, as though she desperately wanted to say something, but couldn't. Please, please... Discord pleaded with no one just before he looked to Fluttershy. She wouldn't make eye contact with him.

She was looking down towards Rainbow Dash's side when she suddenly gasped. “Oh my goodness, Rainbow! What's happening to your Cutie Mark!?”

“Huh, what?” Dash's eyes shot down her flank. “M-my..!” She shot into the air and hovered above the table. Her Cutie Mark appeared to have faded into her coat, as though it had vanished. She just hung there, her wings flapping seemed to be the only sound for several beats. Then all the others glanced at there own sides.

“I.. I really shouldn't be trying to make ponies laugh.”

“Now I'll never be a world-famous fashionista!”

“W-what's gonna happen to the farm if I can't harvest apples anymore?”

Twilight stood up and trotted around to Fluttershy's seat. “I'm going to go back to the library and try to sort out this mess. Fluttershy, I want you to stay with them and try to keep them calm, okay?”

“I'll do my best,” Fluttershy promised. “Do you think you can help them?”

“I have to try. I'm sure I'll think of something.” With that, the bookish princess hastily beat a path towards her home.

Fluttershy started trying to pull all of her friends together, which was easier said than done. Rarity was sobbing about how she'd lost all of her creativity and talent, Pinkie Pie had her face down on the table and wouldn't respond, AJ had gotten up and started to leave and Dash was ignoring everypony else.

Discord gently laid his paw on Fluttershy's shoulder. “If there's anything I-”

Her curt reply cut him deeply. “You've done quite enough already, Discord. Please, just leave.”

He teleported away from her before the tears could well up in his eyes. “I didn't do anything wrong!” he told himself. “They're too sensitive! They can't take a little criticism or a joke. Why is it my fault when they don't like what I have to say!?”

He settled into the arc of the branches in the tree he was in and thought about how he could get Fluttershy to forgive him this time. Is it my fault if a little outside perspective is enough to unhinge their own sense of self-worth? Doesn't second-guessing your purpose in life usually indicate that maybe you weren't sure of yourself in the first place? It's not like I was trying to cause chaos this time! I just wanted to... to... What did I want? Discord puzzled over it for a minute before an idea came to him.

“That's it! If they lost their booty stamps that easily, maybe they weren't such a big deal in the first place! I might not be able to fix this, per se, but maybe I don't need to!” He teleported again.

Twilight was nearly home; she could see the library just up the street. She broke into a run, but suddenly bumped headlong into somepony she hadn't seen. “I'm so sorry, I-” she began.

“Not to worry, Princess.”

Twilight gasped. “You. What are you doing here?” she asked Discord as she skirted around him and continued making her way. “Actually, I don't want to know. Go away, Discord.”

“Now, now, don't be so dismissive. I've obviously made a terrible blunder and I'm here to set things right.”

“That's laughable. I don't need your help.”

“You're the last pony I expected to turn down help from a friend in a bad situation. Didn't you learn to forgive mistakes and accept help during all the time you've spent here?”

“Of course, I-” Twilight Sparkle caught herself. “Discord, I don't want to get into an argument-”

“Good. Then it's all settled, and we can get right to work.”

“NO! This isn't up for discussion, go home. I don't want to hear what you have to say for yourself. It can wait until I've figured this out and cleaned up your mess.”

Discord pouted at Twilight, “You wound me, your highness. Would you shut somepony out – when they're trying their hardest to make up for their shortcomings and help you, no less – completely disregarding whatever they have to contribute? Would you refuse to carry a book in your library just because you were mad at the author?”

“If that book made all of my friends clinically depressed?” Twilight responded cynically. “Yes!” She slammed the door to the library in his face and turned to find him standing in the middle of the room.

“Come now, Twilight Sparkle. That's terribly unreasonable; I have no intention of harming or hindering you in the slightest.” He gave her his widest, toothiest grin. “I just want to talk.”