Morsidus Grim-Record gets transported to Equestria after one of the music equipment went haywire. He freaks about his new form and is worried he might never get home. Thankfully, a certain zebra knows who he is and is asked to help him. Can he overcome the trials ahead of him? Can he stop the danger that was in the making long ago? Why do the Royal Sisters seem to take interest in him?
Thanks to PureLogic fire editing and cover art.
switched to teen rating due to battle and blood
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Roses are red.
Violets are blue.
Your fic gave me cancer
Your OC should be glue.
3773432
First fanfic, i'm still learning
3773439 "It's my first fanfic" Is not an excuse.
3773439
First lesson: Red/Black O.Cs usually suck.
Second lesson: Never use General Zoi's Ponycreator as a cover image. Ever.
stream1.gifsoup.com/view7/2917144/the-more-you-know-o.gif
3773439
Using 'first fanfic' as an excuse for writing a shitfic doesn't work, pal.
But hey, you at least have the decency to not delete the comments
Here, take a star:
i3.kym-cdn.com/photos/images/original/000/640/738/08b.jpg
3773463
it was the only image of the character i had on hand. i was planning on getting an actual one drawn when i had the time.
3773559 then just don't use a pic. a story with no pic is better than a story with a pic of a red-and-black oc. sadly.
3773590
as i have always been told, "when you don't know what to do or how things work, do what you thinks is needed." like i said before, this is a first for me. i don't generally understand a lot about fanfics
3773439 piclair.com/data/mj41e.jpg
*looks at story description*
*looks back at paragraphs*
3.bp.blogspot.com/-hOrHY7ZYxrQ/UOr98Mbs5wI/AAAAAAAAAXM/HXKS50rnOAk/s1600/You%2Bkeep%2Busing%2Bthat%2Bword....jpg
Shitty OC [/]
Said OC is named after username [/]
Said OC is from another world [/]
OC is faced with Equestria's fate [/]
Cover pic is OC from Ponycreator [/]
Congrats, you made a shitty story.
3774254
dangers in the shadows aren't always a bad things. people can have feelings that seem dangerous
3774263 Okay, that's moderately original, I'll give you that.
Advice: Read other stories and learn from those. You seem to have a good concept of grammar, but read some other stories like this and know what to avoid. Make your less... stereotypical. give him more character traits to make him stand out. And I do hope you'll give a reason as to why in the hell Zecora knows about him.
3774281
there's a few lines that explains how she knew him. as to how they met, i don't know yet (unintentional rhyme). and like i was telling everyone else, this is my first, and i was honestly never good at grammar. i usually let my computer fix that.
3774288 Ah, okay.
Well, I shall leave you with one more bit of advice, get a proofreader.
3774293
i asked one known as breaking news when he told me of the issues of the original manuscript, but i never heard back.
3774297 Ah. Well that is a pickle, isn't it?
3774317
now as to the other 2 point u mentioned.
character name was the only thing in my mind when setting up account so i figured i'd go with it. cover picture was all i had on hand when i published this chapter and was thinking on chapter 2. there are plans for a more well done cover picture.
3774323 If I were you, I'd just remove the picture entirely.
3774335
i keep being told that. im planning on it in the morning. for now, im logging off due to how late it is where im at. if you have any ideas for the next chapter, please message me. im looking for some serious input and hopefully will try to get and editor/proofreader soon. if you know of anyone please let me know.
3774335
g'night.
as you may noticed i already deleted it and changed my username. for now, im tired as buck
3774353 Goodnight. And thanks for not blowing up in anger, like some authors do when I do my little troll bit.
I personally have nothing against PonyCreator, although I understand why people don't like it. I think disliking a story just because of an OC or the cover image is silly, but sadly that's how it works a lot of the time. So take a like in the swarm of dislikes. Your story has decent grammar and I have seen far worse, it certainly isn't worthy of a dislike. Not from me, anyway. Keep your chin up, we all wrote our first fanfic at some point, so there's a learning curve. Not bad for a first fanfic, not bad at all. And if nothing else... at least your OC isn't an alicorn.
Good luck.
3779100
i have noticed that from a lot of other stories i have read. the oc that saves the world is usually turned into an alicorn. i means yes my oc does save a small town, but not from anything we have seen before.
Ooh. Fancy...
I really enjoyed the thought behind this, however your story could use some proofreading. Also, you have some confusing points, such as why would Vinyl Scratch's latest record matter to the princess, and how exactly Morsidus got there.
Other than that, it wasn't half awful for a first fic. Keep working on it!
3784959
In this story, Vinyl and Octavia are working together on music and Princess Celestia is a fan
I've noticed that EVERYPONY was freaking out over that fact that your old cover photo was made from PonyCreator. To that I say, SO WHAT? Does it really matter? The fact that you would dislike a story based on the cover photo is CRAZY! And don't say, "Well, I disliked it because it's a crappy cliché!" because I've read the future chapters, hell, I'M EDITING THEM RIGHT NOW! There are several unique twists that will come out soon! Just calm down, don't be a troll, and if you absolutely hate the story, DON'T READ IT! It's as simple as that! If you're going to dislike just because of THE COVER ART and the fact that YOU THINK that the whole ENTIRE STORY is just going to be one big, long, cliché! Well, you know what?
And to you, Link, I'm working on getting a cover photo for you right now.
EDIT: And no, this is not me BLOWING UP in anger at some silly trolls. This is certainly not the full extent of my rage, rather a small, small, small, small portion of it. Rather, this is me "trolling the trolls" so to speak. Not, "LEAVE ASDERA ALONE! LEAVE HIM ALONE!" because, no matter how funny I would find that, I have no reason to defend him. I'm simply trying to help him better his work and have a little fun making other people angry in the process.
Does that make me a bad person?
The answer, "Yes, yes it does."
3802220
Thank you PureLogic. if you need a copy of the character in the full draconequus form, let me know
Well that's weird. I look yesterday and I had 36 dislikes. Now it went down by one. Cool.
well, i noticed that most people seem to read this, dislike it, but don't voice a reason as to why.
Cadence rules over the Crystal Empire and Twilight is ruling nothing (I doubt she even attends court)
4099875 if your mentioning the summit in chapter one, she was there because she was the element of magic. They were discussing how to better defend equestria
Its as though now that there isn't anything to hate on nobody can be bothered to comment?
Nice wirk on the chapter. See the next one is already there.
And up by ten.
Ah well now that its been being edited its pretty cool. Still a few unestablished things that are bothering me. The romance is a bit rushed? I understand that your head-canon may involve a backstory from the human world that explains it but if you don't share it, it'l be rendered useless. Anyway nice chapter.
Read you around.
Fear the Dark
4090975 know what you mean.
Looking at the amount of dislike I was expecting a storm of troll/ flame comments per chapter but this isn't the case.
Anyway nice chapter the fight was a bit skipped and skirted. I personally would have preferred it to be a bit more actual fighting. Dialogue during combat is unnecessary but it would have been improved if there had been a but better description of what physically happened.
Besides that, great chapter, keep up the good work.
Fear the Dark out.
4104230 the story of how Zecora and him meet will be in one of the next chapters of Unknown Pasts. As well as a chapter involving Elayas and Fluttershy. If you see anything else that needs explaining, let me know.