Well can't say its poorly written, just a morbid start... and story. Not really the kind of story I normally read. I'd recommend A little back story into the AI How'd it come to power, Why it's evil ect. The characters don't seem to act like themselves... at all. But then again ponies(and people) change but more back story might make the changes easier to understand and believe. I'm not good at reviewing or writing stories but Thought I'd share my 2 cents Take it how you will. Don't give up writing stories.
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and trying open her eyes fully.

There is a second chapter that's coming it has the backstory you need.

Wow someone actually did it huh....honestly never thought I'd see this crossover. Good job, a few errors, yes, but overall not a bad start. I look forward to seeing how this adaptation plays out.

OK, if this is not your cup of tea then don't drink it. Don't be rude and ruin the story by being a now it all.