How did it come to this point?
Ok, I’ll be blunt... I’ve been turned into a pony. Some night that looked just like any other when I went to sleep and woke up only to find myself on a multicolored world.
I’ve always knew, always liked My Little Pony. Some would call me a brony, don’t know if it’s true or not, never cared much about labels, anyways... I’ve read numerous fics about people being brought into the magical world of Equestria. Of course, I could always spruce my coming by involving a mysterious all-powerful being with a stupid name, some morbid accident or whenever other non-relevant cause... but it would be both lies and futilities, the result is what matters in the case.
When I first set my eyes upon the way too bright world (somebody must have set it on 1080p) I was certain where I was, of course, watched the damn cartoon so much that there wasn’t any doubt. I was at the border of a calm lake, some mountains surrounding the patch of water and vegetation, the same place where two prankster ponies decided that it was best not to wet a shy pegasus.
The first thing that I do is reach the water... I need to see what has become of myself...
A dark grey fur, the same tone of the unicorn royal guards, bright brown eyes and a dark brown mane... no adornments or wings. Plus, I was damn small... I was... a colt! A damn blank-flank colt! A human who has the experience of 21 years turned into the lowest chaste of the lowest chaste of ponydom... a male earth pony colt... just my luck to have all odds stacked against me.
I was an earth pony... not what I would choose if the choice was mine, but hey, if life gives you lemons, you squirt them at her eyes and live with it.
As for the colorations, I was reasonably satisfied... I always loved grey... the color of uncertainty and doubt, for which no truth is really unquestionable. The color of my eyes, brown, to match the ones that I had as a human. I always despised those humans who valued their oh-so-rare blue or green stupid eyes, wishing to find a pair with matching eyes so that they could pass down the recessive genes that determined their coloration to their children... now on Equestria, the opposite was true. Eyes colored blue, green, purple or magenta are common as trees, while my own coloration couldn’t be found anywhere, at least I never saw it while watching any episode... and for the mane, it was alright, not something outside of the ordinary and such...
Now that’s said, let’s move on to what I should do. People would kill to reach the world I was at, at nearly every story I’ve read about human turned pony, the protagonist would run straight to Ponyville to meet the mane six and become best friends forever with them, correct?
If they really planned to do such, they were definitely moronic...
Now, let’s put things in perspective here: What would you do if you were the supreme, unquestionable ruler of a world and, by chance, you’d find out that a creature from another dimension, one that you doesn’t have any control over or influence, had been transported to your world?
Many answers sprang: banishment, imprisonment, return the damn thing back to where it belong, even kill it... this might be my human psyche speaking, but that’s what I would do.
Why expect something different for princess Celestia? Of course, the opposite could be true: upon discovering that I am a human, she could shower me with gold, turn me into an honorary prince, give me a harem of mares, carte blanche to snuggle and ship with the mane six and even give permission to produce progeny with them...
You know, there’s a piece of advice that is especially true in situations like this...
When in doubt, assuming the worst case scenario is usually the best choice.
Said such, chances are that I wasn’t the first human to be transported to Equestria, I never won any raffle or such, there was 99% chance that somebody else had already been “ponyfied”, perhaps even lived... somebody else who made contact and probably revealed his true nature, hinting that Celestia might have had contact with humans that were brought to her domains.
I wasn’t certain if she was friendly or hostile to them... but I wasn’t going to take any chances. I don’t want to die, or be sent back home for now... I want to learn, to become something...
My first goal should be “blend in”, become, in every sense of the word, a pony.
The first thing to assure that goal was the capital, essential rule that was frequently ignored by those HiE writers...
Restrain contact with the mane six to a bare minimum, PERIOD.
Of course, it would be ideal to have no contact with them whatsoever, but since they run essential services on Ponyville, one has to, eventually, deal with them.
You’d ask, why such measure? My answer is that those six ponies wield the elements of harmony, the most powerful power of Equestria, surpassing even Celestia’s now that she handed the EoH to the six ponies... why she did so, I can only guess. Thing is, she knows... she knows that there are beings that might approach the mane six and try to make them release their power against Celestia or even try to steal or drain it from them.
How do I know that she thinks like that? I don’t, simply making assumptions here... she would be pretty stupid if she didn’t knew such. Of course, she wasn’t. You don’t live two thousand years holding a monarchy without having two or three hundred tricks up your sleeves...
She would definitely be monitoring the mane six, mainly through those letters... I had to ensure that Celestia wouldn’t have any reason to give a closer look into me, I could try to keep my disguise over her gaze, but it would definitely be thousand of times harder. It was easier to simply stay away from the mane six and other important characters, if I somehow nurtured a special relationship with any of them or aided, purposely or not, them on learning a valuable lesson, one of them would certainly write a damn letter to Celestia mentioning me and, conscious as she is about the welfare of those six, would definitely keep an eye on me. Plus, if I spent too much time around them, I would be tempted to rub my knowledge on them or let something slip... something about the future (depending on which “episode” we are) or that I shouldn’t possibly know... they might be the trusting type, but few of them are actually gullible. It was too risky. Additionally, if one or more bronies had already been ponyfied they would doubtlessly head straight to the mane six. If Celestia already got them, she could conclude that the mane six are somehow a conduit to humans, and use it to her own advantage in imprisoning the “little primates”. No, lasting contacts with them was out of question.
I could always move to another town, but since I, like every pony-loving human, know Ponyville the best, it was best to stick to it and use my knowledge about the town to blend in better.
I would need to think as a pony, walk as a pony, talk as a pony... if they catch on my human vicissitudes, I’d be a sitting duck.
Now, as how to blend in as a colt... equines don’t come from nothing, the first question they would ask me would be about my parents... the answer would be dead, which wasn’t very far from truth on this dimension... I’ll decide the details when needed... they probably don’t let orphan foals run amok, with Scoots having parents of her own or foster ones... it was reasonable to assume the same destiny for myself.
This train of thoughts was interrupted by my stomach... it grumbled from starvation. I was hungry, plain as that...
Scratch “blend in” as my primary objective and switch it to secondary, my first and upmost objective is surviving, as put specifically, getting food, shelter and all the like. Just because I am living the “dream”, doesn’t mean that I’m not a living being like any other...
Deep in thought as I was, I didn’t notice another being approaching me…
“Well, what do we have here? Come little one, truancy is a nasty habit…”
And I knew exactly who it was… and because of that, I was more nervous than ever… I knew a great deal about that mare and yet, couldn’t reveal anything without blowing my cover. It was so weird…
I turned to face Cheerilee, the kind-hearted earth pony teacher. Someway, on a mad coincidence, destiny threw a new foal right on the way of the mare who knew every foal on Ponyville…
Her green eyes quickly shifted to curiosity.
“Say, I’ve never seen you before, you’re not one of my little ponies… what is your name?”
Someone logically going through what one should/shouldn't be doing when thrown into a mythical world....... Tell me more.
I personally don't like these types of stories. But you sir, have gotten yourself another reader
Despite the short chapter length, this is definitely much different from the cookie cutter HiE stories by taking a very intelligent approach to the HiE concept with its very contemplative protagonist. Paraphrasing, "running for the mane six" strikes too true. I don't even know how many HiE stories have the human meet one mane six in minutes. Not only do you avert that, you clever use twist that device by introducing Cheerilee of all ponies to the main character and not even vice versa. he protagonist had literally done nothing but think what to do. Good job ! Cheerilee definitely needs more loving, and not the "potion"-induced kind.
More plus points for the gumption of an Earth Pony colt protagonist. I guess that makes it slightly easier for both author and protagonist now that there's no need to stress over handling magic or learning to fly ("I'm learning to fly, but I ain't got wings. Coming down, is the hardest thing"), but it also resents a small challenge as there's no impressive flying tricks or wondrous magic talents to eventually master. Nope, it's down to his brain and perhaps brawn (Earth Pony, see). I trust his intelligence more than strength though .
Lastly, there were no spelling or grammar errors as far as I could tell. Correct English is crucial, lest the reading experience of mine be drastically reduced.
Interested in seeing where this analytical approach will get you. Carry on.
I really don't like Bronies in Equestria stories, but this one seems awsome!
Hello folks! Stalin the Stallion here with another instance of Stalinview! As always, i remind you, that anypony can get their own Stalinview if they shall make some feedback to Stalin's own story. If you want your own Stalinview, either PM me or comment my story and state that you want one.
Have a nice day!
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"Ok, I’ll be blunt... I’ve been turned into a pony. Some night that looked just like any other when I went to sleep and woke up only to find myself on a multicolored world."
Ahhh, pink dream of all bronies, including myself"
"Of course, I could always spruce my coming by involving a mysterious all-powerful being with a stupid name"
Geez, our dreams are the same. Stalin always wanted to become Uguvungr, the Almighty spirit of Marture and Distress (Stalin has no idea what word Marture means or if it even exist, but still it sounds cool)
"When I first set my eyes upon the way too bright world (somebody must have set it on 1080p)"
Hilarious!
"A damn blank-flank colt! A human who has the experience of 21 years turned into the lowest chaste of the lowest chaste of ponydom... a male earth pony colt..."
Awww. Don't be so mean! Stalin likes that gamer colt from "Hearts and hoofes day". It's because of him Stalin decided to start selling videogames in his Empire of Evil! "Super Stalin Brothers vs Uncle Sam" was a great sucess!
"If they really planned to do such, they were definitely moronic..."
Yep. Stalin always wanted to dispel Discord's spell first! And then rule Equestria. Discord and Uguvundr... Ah, sweet dreams...
"give me a harem of mares"
Honestly, Celestia giving harem of mares? She isnt slave dealer... By the way, do you really need it?
"Restrain contact with the mane six to a bare minimum, PERIOD."
Another hilarius line
"release their power against Celestia"
Honestly, Stalin doesnt think that elements should work on it's previous wielder.And if it will, Celestia would banish you to the moon before you try it.
Why do you hate Celestia so much? She's irresponcible troll, yes, but not a bloody tyrans as Stalin are!
Ok, time for overall.
Fic's name reflects it's content perfectly. It is not a typical human in Equestria Stalin despise. It's analysys of Human in Equestria writer's psychique, and yourself!
This one is nicely done, by the way. It's freas and unicue, have some good lines and thoughts. But still it's hard to be called a story because of it's style.
Also, Stalin likes first-person narrations, so point in tis one.Also it brings up a nostalgia of those days Stalin was dreaming to go to Equestria. Ah, Uguvungr, my perfect alter-ego...
Overall: nice one. Track on. Like on. Stalin look forward to see other chapters!
Logic? In Fimfiction? Puh-lease, what a joke!
Only an idiot kills guests from another world. Even our rulers would not start a potential war so stupidly.
The truth is