Sisu

by Ebony Gryphon

Chapter 16 Hunting

Gale ground her teeth in frustration as she regarded the ledgers and papers on her desk, her eyes narrowed in annoyance at the reports. Over the past couple of weeks, the mare had exhausted nearly every contact and resource she could spare in search of Arron. And much to her ever growing annoyance so far not hide nor hair of the human..

Tapping her hoof against the humans bracer, Gale's ears flattened against her skull in sadness. Mother was right... no word, or goodbye, he'd probably met his end. She'd keep an eye out, but for the nonce... opening a drawer, the mare slid the bracer into it, and with a sigh, closed it.
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This week started out so well... the blacked furred filly lamented in her mind.

Against all reasoning Sunbeam had finally relented to her daughters pleas in joining the Lord Paladin in the woods surrounding Canterlot. Over the course of the last few days. Midnight had begun to learn to survive the wilds, finding out what could help or hurt her in the woods, and too conserve her mana all she could. She had also begun taking up whittling and fishing for fun, and had begun to learn how to care for a blade. But that morning, David had woken her before the sun was even up, and had spent the day teach her to make and lay traps. And to her shock, the clumsy thing she made was the first to bear fruit.

Midnight regarded the squealing rabbit on the forest floor, and slightly unsettled look on her face. Looking up at her companion, the filly whimpered.

"Do you really have to kill it David..."

Sighing, David unsheathed his knife.

"I have to eat child. My people require flesh or we grow weak and sicken. To live, another must perish. If there were any other way..."

Midnight looked back at the still squirming rabbit, and rubbed her forehoof against a foreleg. Midnight Sparkle was no stranger to death. In fact she'd often been told she was too enamored with the concept. But she'd never seen anyone actually die! And the way the poor rabbit thrashed and screamed... Slowly David knelt down next to the rabbit, and laid a hand over, holding it down. Midnight eyes widened as she watched the humans knife raise.

Looking back at the rabbit, Midnight softly said "Forgive us..."

Midnight turned her head away as the knife lashed down. A moment later she wished the rabbit was still screaming.

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Midnight took a shaky sip from her tin mug, the release of her last meal having taken its toll, and leaving her weakened even hours later. Looking at the human as he worked on the hide, she said softly "Why put so much to thy work David? What does thou need its fur or bones for if you only need the flesh?"

The human paused in his work, and looked at the filly sternly.

"This rabbit... it died so I could live. It gave its life so I would not have to lose mine. Twould be a sin to merely toss it aside."

Gasing into the fire a moment, Midnight said "I wonder... if all those ponies Mother killed... I wonder if they were scared too... Did they beg and weep? And when... it was done, where did they go? Do we go anywhere when we die David?"

David paused again in his work, then sighed.

"Child... I don't know. I simply don't know."

Midnight sighed.

"Mother always said there was naught after death. We're here one day, gone the next, and tis all there is to it. Shadow... she told me she wasn't enthralled with her last day, she had a lot of ponies to apologize to in the well of souls. But she is looking forward to seeing her father's again. Princess Celestia said she didn't know... but she believed. And Gale told me I shouldn't worry about these matters lest I grey my mane."

Finally pulling the hide away, David wiped his forehead and asked "And what do you think"

"I think with all my Mother's seen with pony puppet golems that the soul exists. And I think that scares her. Because if there is a hereafter, there's a Maker. And I think whoever the Maker is, it's probably not to joyful over his daughter Sunbeam Sparkle."

Cuddling under her blanket, Midnight smiled brightly.

"I think there's a place after death."

Midnight laid her head down again.

"A home where no one has to hurt or kill again..."

Seeing the look on the humans face, the pony sighed.

"I know how... unsettled ponies are by me. And my macabre thoughts does little to cause them thoughts otherwise. But why though? We will all die, and will all go to the same place. So why are they so scared?"

Raising her head again, Midnight rolled her eyes a grimace of disgust in place.

"Nay, let me tell thee why. Because there hippocamp... hypod... that word that means they're getting mad at Mother for things they'd probably do themselves."

"Hypocrites."

Midnight nodded.

"That. What I think they really can't stand is that my Mother isn't. She fails in many ways, but never that. She wastes no time with trying to make ponies like her, as long as their safe, she's happy." Looking down again, Midnight scuffed a hoof again the ground.

"And even if she does something mean or selfish... she's willing to accept being alone and called a monster as long as everypony is safe."

"Midnight... what your mother did to you..."

Midnight gave a shudder.

"It hurt... alot. It hurt me and filled my head with... all the anger and wild desire to see it all burn... But she'll always be my Mother. Its not always joyful, and she may hurt me again... but until our days have run their course and we meet in the Plains, what joy we can find with each other in the here and now is what is precious. And she's trying really hard, being a better mare... She's even friendlier with Gale now."

David shook his head.

"Midnight... thou seem awares of thy mothers plight. And you seem aware of her callousness. I don't believe for one second she'd intentionally cause you harm... but if one day she slips, if one day she goes to far, my door is open."

The filly nodded, then tilting her head said "David... please don't be to angry with her if that day does come. The world has not been kind to her."

David nodded back with a smile, thinking as he did Child... if thy mother did bring harm on you... that is the one thing I could never forgive.

Sheathing his knife, the human began putting the meat to the fire.

"Hey... may I have some>"

David looked at the filly.

"You want to have... rabbit..."

Giggling, Midnight stood and walked to the fire.

"Thou have piqued my interest. And it certainly could be no worse then Mothers attempts at Hearths warming eve dinner. Closest time I've ever seen her in tears was during that meals making... still have no idea what she thought she could having basically done naught in the way of meals for most of her life."

David looked thoughtful a moment, then snorted.

"Sunbeam the happy housemare> Somehow the thought of her baking sweets and wearing an apron is nearly blasphemous."

"Oh, she tried the apron. Nearly broke her neck when the bottom got caught in her hooves. And her porridge is the best in Equestria!"

The filly giggled again, and after hearing the meat was ready, floated a piece to herself. Taking a bite, Midnight chewed thoughtfully.

"One supposes this puts me in the Long Patrol. Oh woe to brave the horror of these lands and become as uncouth as Gale."

David rolled his, and taking a piece himself, said "All that has befallen you child... The Long Patrol is a cake walk."

"Oh, she tried the apron. Nearly broke her neck when the bottom got caught in her hooves. And her porridge is the best in Equestria!"

Midnight tapped a hoof on her chin.

"It seemed silly to me... Never thought Mother would act like... well, like a mare."

David snickered.

"Can't say I've checked, but I'm fairly certain she is a mare."

Midnight waved a hoof.

"No.... no I mean like a Mom mare, you know. Whats the word... feminine... ye, that one. All fillified in some pink thing, her mane in a bun, humming to herself at the start of the meals making... I mean... even Shadow enjoys her mane in a braid, and Gale is absolutely a mare... a soldier mare, but a mare regardless. Mother has always been more... stallionish... well, except with thee."

"What does that mean?"

Midnight tilted her head quizzically.

"You don't notice. She's more... well, more open with you then other grown ups. Its not that silly special somepony stuff where she's batting her lashed or getting made up... Its like she can be herself with you like she can with me."

"Really... I've not noticed."

Midnight rolled her eyes. David wasn't like most males she knew, but he still managed to be clueless. Snorting in disgust, Midnight scathingly muttered "Men..." then trotted back to her bedding.

And as so many men had done in the past and future, all David could do was scratch his head and wonder what he had said to upset a female.
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Sunbeam cocked a brow at the human seated in front of her desk, an unamused frown in place.

"Brat... how dare she claim I'm not a mare just cause I feel no need to mar my beauty with that foul make up or aren't some bubbly and huggy moron."

David smirked, and crossed his arms.

"No arguement there... but what's wrong with being a mare>"

Snorting, Sunbeam nodded towards the tower window.

"Have you even met the mares of Canterlot, even amongst my fellow magus. Wasting time and energy on insipid trivialities and conniving and strutting about in their finery, acting as though they earned a single bit they spent on them. For all the talk of the biases of stallions, I've found them more honest and true in dealings then any of their wives. In the balls, they gather and gossip about empty deeds while the stallions actually speak of things of worth, although their love of that gryphon tackle ball game still eludes me in its merit."

Rolling her eyes again, Sunbeam continued "If being of use to my Queen means I am a stallion, then I shall be a stallion. And as they waste time in their adolescent pursuits and garden contests, I'll be here, busting my unfemale hide trying to make their whole damn empty existence doesn't go acropper."

"But whats wrong with that? I suppose if one made those their only goals, it would be a waste. But what's wrong with being a mare and enjoying flowers and being pretty? Even Shadow, who we can assume is oft mistaken for a gelding, braids her mane and wears it proudly."

Sunbeam snorted, and standing up, walked to the window.

"First of all, I'm not merely pretty, I'm stunning. Secondly Shadows mane style is pretty much her only sign as female. If I hadn't been so oft distracted studying that well toned and muscled haunch of hers, I wouldn't have even know she was female."

Sighing, Sunbeam looked out the window.

"Tis strange, our Equestria, my tribe. Where I stallion, I would be seen as virile and having proven my mettle. As a mare, even with other mares, I gain not respect, but am seen as less. Because I do not waste my feminine ways on their garden parties and waste of words, females hold me in scorn. Stallions... they know of respect, but not as a rival or comrade, but as a mad creature, a cold bitch to how a good old colt would have their praise."

Snorting, David walked up the mares side, folding his hand behind his back.

"Men envy women. You bear young, we stallions are expendable, whatever our station. But whatever the wagging tongue proclaim, you have earned your title as our Queens Vizier, as arch magus, and as Templar. We are the true powers and arbiters of the world, a force for order. Let the fools be wastrels, then stand in awe as we make an Equestria their petty minds can't even grasp."

Sunbeam glanced up at her mentor, then looked forward again, deep in thought.

"And know, my sister templar... whatever else, you have my respect."

Smirking, Sunbeam nudged a shoulder against the human.

"Is the old wolf losing his fangs? Mayhaps time a new, more pretty and more cunning one should take your place..."

Smirking back, the human gave the unicorn a playful tug on her ear.

"Perhaps... and then this more pretty mare would gain all the enemies her wise and handsome mentor has garnered in his duties."

Flicking the hand away, Sunbeam walked back to her desk, and as she did, David folded his hands behind his back again.

"Sunbeam... Please understand... you cannot be more then you are as Templar. You draw to much attention, are poor of temper, and ill suited to the common class. You regard them as you do others mere tools for your use. when our duty as Templars is to their care."

Sunbeam snorted derisively, and looking over a scroll, replied "And I have no desire to be more. You have allowed my daughter to have all she wants as my child, have restored my indulgences and finances, and have done all I need to act in the Courts. Where once I could barely work even before the clans revolt, now my reforms find no querry and shall be. I am yours, David, in what you see fit, and when needed, your attack mare. But I have no want to join in your dark hoof dealings and cats pawing. We are companions, and you my Mentor.... but I have no wish to build this Order of yours."

Rolling up the scroll, the mare sighed.

"But Midnight... what do you take of her Mentor?"

David rubbed his chin thoughtfully a moment, then said "She will be a Grand Master one day. She holds now, even as young as she is, a desire for peace, a cause to see Equestria unrivaled, and to hold that piece through strength. Though of... a rather peculair temper, she seems quite able to gauge others, and has Amal's sisters Shadow affections. As such, her abilities as a liason to them is invaluable."

"You aren't her father David."

The human looked over his shoulder, and regarded the mare, who now sat with a stern gaze.

"I will not suffer you should you bar me as her sire, and will by of foulest ichor should you fail to consult me as her caretaker."

"Of course Sunbeam... Must keep my most faithful dog faithful after all."

Raising a brow, Sunbeam said evenly "You may keep your cur on short leashes Mentor... but remember, my affections and respect are secondary to keeping my Queen and her rule strong..."

Eyes narrowing, she smirked humorlessly "And just so we're clear, human, nobody messes with my girls."

David chuckled, and waved a hand consolingly.

"Yes yes, the clan and your dalliance Shadow are safe. And with Amal in their hold, our accord with the Assassin's are assured. None would dare draw against us..."

Walking from the window, David, gave a bow.

"And of course, my beautiful mare, you shall grace me with your company at the Gala tommorow."

"Shadow's coming in a dress? Shall attend with bells upon the fetlocks."

"This world... is cruel to mares. When we're not used for sex we're disregarded as ponies merely because of a mistake of birth. The sooner more ponies learn that, the better off they'll be."

Looking over her shoulder, Sunbeam arched her brow again.

"And I'll have you know I do like flowers. I may not be some twittering simp, but I enjoy them as much any mare. I just enjoy my bansais more."

"But what does any of that have to do with being a woman> Does thy works disappear as you attend court> And what doth being a mare have to do with wanting to look pretty and enjoying feminine things. Why not have both> Why does thy marehood end just because you wish not to waste thy time in nonsense> And will thee force thy foal into thy line of view"

Here Sunbeam rolled her eyes.

"Oh please. For one, I may not enjoy such pursuits, but it does me no ill if Midnight has them as long as he studies are attended too. I'm an abberation in Canterlot, David. Most mares her never worked a moment of their days, I've scrapped and bled and earned every last bit of status and wealth I have. The only mare heeded in Celestia's court is Celestia, the rest must shuck their marehood and do as the stallions do."

Sunbeam smirked.

"And you can be damned sure every last one of them knows my name, and respects it."

"But your still you, still a mare. Why be ashamed of it..."

"I bear no shame. I merely see no need to waste time on what is already perfection."

David shrugged, then standing, said "Well... I can't say I agree, but as is your want. Still, mayhap a pony tail would garner a few favors from some mares."

Sunbeam tilted her head in the same manner as her foal.

"But I've already got one."

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Author's Note:

Gender roles are less prevalent in this verse then they are in our world, but matters of genders are still there. It should be of interest too note that Shadow, while still viewing herself as a mare, is very stallion like in her approach to life, forward but respectful, where as Gale, while a Kicker, is a filly through and through.

Sunbeam views sex as a tool.