Equestrian Medical Service

by backdraft34

You're never going to live this down.... you know that right?

"Everypony to the commons room for training!" Needle Stick yelled down the halway to the crew quarters. "Hurry up! The faster we get done here the faster I can get back to my rapid response recliner." Slowly the doors to crews bedrooms began tho open letting the sleep deprived ponies inside shuffle into the hall like zombies.

"So who's bright idea was it to hold training this morning?" Lifeflight mummbled.

"Z said we need to do ongoing training once a month and today is your lucky day," Needle Stick replied with as much sarcasm as she could muster.

"You know what else happens once a month?" Lifeflight sneered back.

"Finish that thought and I will plant my hoof so far up you flank it will quench your thirst!" She responded. With in a few minutes all the crews were in the commons room. Cardio Thump sat with his partner Buck and Lifeflight reclined near by. Star Fall sat with the crew from transport two. Musher was a tall and fairly slender earthpony with a tan coat and black main. His partner was Dandelion Fields, a short and round unicorn with a cream coat and light blue and pink mane. "Today should be short and simple, " Needle Stick said. " we are just going to review spinal inuries and how to immobilize somepony."

"Quick, fast, and simple," Cardio Thump said nudgi

ng Lifeflight in the side.

"Should be done by lunch," Lifeflight smiled back.

"Would be done a lot sooner if you two nimrods would shut you hay holes," Needle Stick interrupted. "So any pony know why we stress spinal immobilization so much?"

"Cuz we ain't got x-ray vision to be able to see if anything is messed up in there or not," Lifeflight said sarcastically.

"A ponie's head is disproportionately heavier than what the neck can support in the event of a sudden change in velocity. Further more any injuries to the neck or spine can cause long lasting and irreversible effects," Srat Fall said.

"Show off," Lifeflight said while sticking his tongue out at her.

"Would it hurt you to read a book evey once in a while?" She responded with as innocent of a smile as she could muster. Lifeflight's only response was to blow a raspberry her way wich caused the rest of the class to erupt into laughter.

"You two need to grow up," Needle Stick said after geting the class to quiet down. "And yes, Fall is exactly right. There is a lot of a ponie's head is like a bowling ball sitting on a spring. The spring can hold the ball up just fine, however if there is a sudden change in velocity the spring has a hard time keeping up. So who can tell me when we want to susspect there is a spinal injury?"

"Any time there is a mechanism of injury that would warrent it. Any falls greater than twice the ponies hight, any direct trauma to the head neck or face, or any time a patient complains of neck or back pain after an incident," Cardio Thump rattled off. "We don't want the B crew to show us up, do we?" He whispered to Buck and Lifeflight. They both sho their heaes in response. "Good. Lets give the nerdiest answer we can think of just to shut them up."

"Good, there is another one I am also looking for though," Needle Stick said. "Anypony? Somepony? Alright how about a hint? Only a stallion can get this condition."

"Priapism!" Star Fall shouted which earned her a course of chuckles.

"Care to elaborate? " Needle Stick asked.

"A priapism is where a stallion has a permanent erection due to a spinal injury. This is a very seriouse sign and is almost always accompanied by total loss of movement and sensation in the lower extremities." Star Fall said with a grin.

"Could also be caused by OUCH WHAT THE HAY WAS THAT FOR?" Lifeflight asked glaring at Buck, who just got done whacking Lifeflight across the back of the head.

"You were about to say somthing stupid, " he replied with a smile. "Besides, it's funny to watch you writh in pain."

"Hate to break up your little party but we need to get back to training here," Needle Stick inturupted, and to her satisfaction seemed to get their undivided attention. "Now Fall is right on the bits as usual. In all my years as a corman in the guard I have only seen on and it was quite impress," She never got to finish her sentence as the class exploded. Buck and Cardio thump were leaning on eachother for support. Lifeflight was rolling on the ground with tears rolling out of his eyes as Star Fall hung her head trying to hide her smile. Mush and Dandelion Fields fell out of their chairs from laughing so hard, which only caused the group lo laugh harder. "Oh grow up!" Needle Stick shouted. It took a while for the class to regain control and return to their seats. After Needle Stick regained her poise she was able to continue the class. There were the usual side coments from Lifeflight and his crew, to which Star Fall and her crew were able to give the text book "better" answer. It wS always funny watching the two crews work together. The "A" crew was very hoofon. They were the best and most proficient at the actual doing aspects of the job. Now this is not to say they were not book smart as well, just they perfered things to be short and to the point when it came to books. Also big words stink. The "B" crew was a lot more book savy. They took pride in being able to comunicate using actual medical terminology and sounding smart. They were no slackers when it came to the hoofon portions of the job, they were just not as fast and fluid as the "A" crew. After finishing the classroom portion it was time for the practical application. The crews moved out into the ambulance bay where they saw what looked like two ponies laying on the ground and a ladder laying next to them.

"One patient per crew," Needle Stick said. "Ready? Go." Lifeflight and his crew moved with practiced perfection. Lifeflight swooped in an held their patients head still while Buck checked the rest of the body for injuries. Cardio Thump moved in with the backboard and on Lifeflight's count the three of them got their patient rolled and onto the backboard. Cardio Thump strapped the patiant down while Buck finished restraining the head. With the patient full imobolized and all the paperwork for the transport complete they looked down at their patient and suddenly realized the knew her. The pink pony with a light blue mane was the lead physician at the foal hospital and wife to Doc Z.

"Hope we didn't mess up to badly," Lifeflight said sheepishly.

"No no, you did very well in fact," she responded. "I can now see why Z is so happy with the crews he has selected to pilot this program. Now if you don't mind can you just."

BONG! AIR FIVE. TRANSPORT ONE. AID RESPONCE. FEMALE IN LABOR (address redacted). TIME OUT ELEVEN THIRTY FIVE.

"Umm we gotta go. The other crew will unstrap you ASAP," Buck said as he was hooking up to the ambulance.

"Air five enroute," Lifeflight said into his communication stone as he took flight.

"Transport one same traffic," Buck said into his. The trip was a short one and both Lifeflight and the ambulance arrived at the same time. "Transport one and air five onscene," Buck said into his stone.

"Did we really just leave Doc Z's wife strapped to a backboard?" Cardio Thump asked.

"Absolutly! " Lifeflight chripped.

"We are so dead when we get back. Ok game faces everypony," Cardio Thump said as he opened tbe door. They stepped inside to see a mare spread eagle on the bed and pushing hard. Before they could even introduce themselves the foal came out with a gush. That is the last thing Lifeflight saw before he passed out right in the doorway.

"Did be just pass out?" Buck asked dumbfounded.

"Umm looks like it," Cardio Thump replied. "Just kick him out of the way, we have a foal to great into this world!"

Author's Note:

Yes I did pass out on my first (and only) child delivery call, and no I haven't lived it down yet. Sende to the worstnsmelling amd most gruesome call around and I am fine. Send me to a child delivery qnd I will hand you gear from the door!

Comments

[Chickadee99]

Great story!! I can't wait to read more of it.