Chapter the Only:
Fluttershy stood in her doorway, staring out fearfully as she raised her hoof from her floorboards, hoping to move it past the Threshold, but found herself unable to muster the courage to take a step... despite Angel pushing forcefully against her hind legs.
"M-maybe it was a bad idea…I mean, my throat feels a little dr- eep!" she yelped, as the small Rabbit gave her a swift kick to jolt her off that train of thought.
"I'm serious, Angel. I don't think this was really…that good a idea..I mean... D-does it really matter that I'm hiding this tiny white sec-" Angel kicked her again, this time in the flank, but she was expecting it this time and only flinched. "Okay a large, black secret."
Pacified by the admittance, Angel resumed his attempts to dislodge the mare, who continued to slowly tap the floor nervously. She turned to the tiny ball of fluff and gulped. "Angel... you promise they won't abandon me, right?" Angel’s only response was a pause in the shoves and a tiny thumbs up. Fluttershy turned around again and this time when she raises her hoof, a sharp pinch hit her right flank and she jumped out the door with a yelp, Angel spitting out a mouthful of yellow fur.
She lands on her hooves, and turns to face the Bunny with a soft glare, "Angel that hurt! Why did y-" she stops mid Sentence, realizing she is outside now, and her glare melts into a giggle. "Oh you tricky little Bunny you" she says with affection, before glancing around to ensure nopony is watching, before looking at her Flank, at the tiny patch of missing hair.
Fluttershy's eyes began to glow a soft emerald green, as the same hue enveloped the tiny spot and it solidified into the identical yellow fur which she had lost.
"There, no harm done," the timid 'pony' said softly, as the white bunny bounded onto her back, taking his usual place upon her back, giving it a light kick to get her walking down the street to the meeting with her friends at the Library, as she herself requested.
"Well, here we go Angel... for better or worse, I'm going to..." she said, as she dragged her hooves forward, down the Road to Ponyville. "…Admit that I am not a…P-pony," she said, to herself more than Angel.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
"Well I for one think it's obvious why she called us here," said the bombastic blue mare, bringing herself to a rest atop a bookshelf, rolling onto her back.
Applejack rolled her eyes, looking up at the winged pony. "And what would that be?" she asked, her already heavily accent thickened with sarcasm.
As Rainbow Dash opened her mouth to speak, Pinkie popped out from between the books on the same shelf. "She's going to admit her feelings for Big Macintosh!" She said with a giggle, causing Applejack's eyes to widen.
"Uh, no, I was going to s-"
"Pinkie! Why are you in my bookshelf!?" scolded the purple princess pony to the pink party pony, her wings ruffling softly in agitation.
"I shelved myself between Picking Pickles and Pinweel Preperation, duh!" She said, rolling her eyes as if it was the single most obvious thing in the world, paying no mind to the princess slapping her hoof into her face over the answer.
Rarity paid little mind to the shenanigans surrounding her, as she continued what she has been doing since her arrival: sitting at the center table, glancing at Twilight, and scribbling hurriedly in her sketchbook, occasionally ripping out a page, scrunching it up and propelling it into the trash.
"SO.." huffed Rainbow. "As I was saying it's obv-"
She was interrupted this time by the Library door opening, and a timid muzzle poking through, peeking at the libraries occupants.
"Oh buck it," muttered Dash, giving up on her idea—Fluttershy having secret feelings for Twilight's brother was silly anyway.
"Oh there you are, darling!" Rarity said brightly, setting her notebook down and standing up, giving the buttery Pegasus a warm hug, as Dash hopped down from the bookshelf to face her longtime friend as well. Pinkie remained in the bookshelf, but was provided Fluttershy with ample attention anyway.
Fluttershy pulled herself into the Library... or was rather steered by the bunny setting upon her neck, using her ears like reins until she was inside, then hopping off and pushing the door shut.
The group stood and watched as Fluttershy shrank back from them with unusual shyness, to them at least.
"Well, Fluttershy, we're all here like your letters asked.. if everything all right? The letter said you needed to speak to us…it sounded…urgent," spoke Twilight, breaking the silence a second before it got awkward, but sighed as Dash decided to make it awkward again: "Yeah, whats the deal? You call it urgent and then you show up late?"
Flutter looked away and bit her lip, as Rarity took a step forward, a comforting smile on her ivory face. "You seem troubled. Please dearie, whatever it is, you can trust that we'll help you through it...". Fluttershy looked back at Rarity, a soft smile dangling precariously under nervous eyes.
"W-well, the thing is... well.." she began, glancing at all her friends in turn, smiles ranging from comforting, to wider-than-ones-head, raining compassion, bolstering her confidence...
"It's... I...I'll just have to…show you," she said, putting her hooves over her eyes, and before anyone could ask why she was doing this, she relaxed in a way she had not done in a long time. Green energy roiled across her body like flames, her sunny yellow fur dissolved into slick, hard, black skin, and her feathery wings fade into translucent membrane.
Her limbs filled with holes as her pink mane shifted to a pinkish Grey and tiny fangs peeked past her lips. She kept the whole section of her hooves over her eyes, her ears swiveling just in time to hear the gasps coming from her five friends
"Well, shucks, kind of beat me to the punch, eh?" She heard Applejack comment with a chuckle and lowered her hooves just in time to see the orange pony walk between Fluttershy and her other friends... and then bursting into emerald flames, revealing a Changeling female much like herself, save for her hair being a yellowish-grey, and still in a AJ's normal style, and her eyes being a solid orange, opposed to her own light pink.
"Y-You... what did you do with-" Twilight began, her horn glowing as she prepared a spell, anger flashing across her face as Fluttershy just stared blankly at where Applejack stood, who gave Fluttershy a hug.
However, the Changeling hug was not what stopped Twilight mid-accusation, but rather a duo of laughing to her sides, Rainbow dash leaning against a shelf for support with one hoof, her other grasping her chest in a attempt to not suffocate from laughing.
Rarity was the other, laughing in a rather less uproarious manner, and becoming the first to find enough air to speak, sitting her flank softly upon the floor. "Oh- oh dear me, and here I was worried you were in trouble dearie... This is not exactly a problem at all," She said and her body was immediately replaced with a green burst, followed by a Changeling with a stylish, purple-grey mane, and brilliant purple eyes, followed shortly by the remaining Pegasus enveloping herself in emerald fires, adding a Fourth Changeling to the room, her eyes now a solid red, and her mane less faded then the rest.
Fluttershy's face went from shock to a broad smile, as all her friends came and gave a group hug, emotions filling her body with warmth, as she hears mixed words of joy and praise for her bravery.
"Geeze if I knew you were ALL changelings, that... well.." Dash said, forgetting where she was going with that as a faded, pink-maned, blue eyed changeling popped out of the middle of the group hug."Ohmygosh i need to plan a "We-were-all-actually-Changelings-all-along Party!".
"Yes we-" Rarity paused, looking away from the others to the princess standing across the room on her hind legs and pressed against the wall, eyes wide and pupils like pinpricks.
"T-twilight, just…calm do-" Applejack said, breaking the hug to go and console her friend, when Twilight inhaled deeply and began to scream, before cutting herself off.
"Oh forget it." She slumped to all four hooves with an annoyed sigh.
Green energy enveloped the Princess.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
"Dearest Princess Twilight
Goodness, your previous letter was worded rather... harshly. It hardly sounded like you!
Yes, I was aware of your friends' true nature, and not just theirs my dear, but all of Ponyville as well.
You see, some generations ago, I had noticed a large concentration of immigrants of your kind gathering in Equestria. Refugees really, Changelings who had managed to escape their Hives for various reasons or were banished for not submitting or sharing their Hives beliefs.
I constructed Ponyville as a safe haven for these refugees to live and flourish in Equestria away from any possible persecution or resistance and gave them all the support I could without drawing unwanted attention to their plight.
It does seems that in my zeal to prevent the truth of their origins from being exposed, I not only neglected to inform the rest of Equestria that most of Ponyville was populated by Changelings but Ponyville itself as well.
Terrible oversight there but these things do happen when you run a kingdom entirely on your own for a thousand years...
Sincerely Apologetic, your Fellow Princess, Celestia.
P.S.: I most certainly did not fail to inform the Changelings because I found it humorous to observe their desperate madcap attempts to conceal it from each other, truly!"
~~~~~~End~~~~~~~
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3577010 i am VERY Eager to see what you think, Hobs!
Your Sis and Vampman too!
3577018 It was funny!
Maybe not a gut buster, but still pretty funny.
Could have moved a little slower though, but that's just my Douchy McNitpick side speaking.
3577025 I am not good at.."Fleshing" a story out, i am mostly good at the base Premise..
Honestly, i just like the first part with Fluttershy and Angel... i am notorious for terribad beginnings, but i think this one works.
Simple but funny and after reading some heavier stories just what The Docter ordered.
3577063 it was supposed to be a pretty Light, silly story.
3577063>>3577025 I was also Considering making Twilight a Queen Changeling, but i felt the sudden cut to Twilight receiving Celestia's letter was funnier.
3577074 Then you accomplished what you set out to do
What's up with the arbitrary capitalization? Is German your native language?
Huh I read somewhere just same story but with Chrysalis and Celestia come to Ponyville and everyone without Celestia is changeling. Can't rate it negative or positive because i don't think its ripoff
Funny, not as funny as some but funny. Grammar could be better, other than that it's great.
3577537 i am just use to.. Emoting through text, and caps-for-emphasis is a common thing with that.
Not bad, but it desperately needs some editing to fix the captialization and spacing.
Oh crap i accidentally deleted someponies post when i went to Reply...
He had a Leafeon Avatar.
Bro if you see this, sorry, my reply was gonna be positive...
3577994 can't say i ever read that story...
Damn, thought i was being original.
3577998 when i get over this Maybe-Flu, i intend to go over it and fix it up a bit, maybe make a second chapter beginning with a disgruntled twilight reading the Letter, while pinkie bats at the crown-like growth on her head like a cat, to watch the blue spheres dangle about.
Nice ending, but this is just about the only compliment I can give you. Here are some editing suggestions.
-Only capitalize the first words of sentences and priper nouns.
-Ellipses are three dots long, never two.
-Please don't be afraid to use names to identify characters. Calling them a description like "purple princess" every sentence gets annoying fast.
Sorry to be so blunt, but I wanted to help you since you've been so good to me and I might as well be straight with you.
3589633 The capitalizing thing is more of a Quirk i adopted from years of chatting via text, in order to emote a little more...
Half the time i don't even realize i am doing it.
The Elipses this is a typo, i think...
And just using there names over and other felt... tacky to me.
But yeah, everything you listed is a issue, I'll maybe get around to fixing it eventually...
Maybe...
We'll see.
whoa!
3591148 Glad you seemingly enjoyed it!
I'm sorry it took me so long to get to this, but I just got back.
That said, I did indeed find this rather humorous. It actually managed to draw an earnest chuckle from me, which is oftentimes considered to be a rather decent accomplishment. I will say that after Applejack's reaction I started to lose it. And Celestia's letter at eh end was just the icing on the cake.
On a side note, if you ever feel like writing again and need someone to go through and help you with errors and maybe narritive and such, I'm just a PM away.
~Signed, InfiniteBrony
3614916 I will remember your Offer.
*mimics G1 Starscream's voice*You shall come to regret this offer!
Good short story, quite funny ending too..
As people have already said, it needs some minor edits like the wrong letters being capitalized in some places and small stuff like that, but overall,
Good job. Giving this a fav and a thumbs up, and a moustached spike here in the comment --->
3627409 have a Mustache for giving it a Mustache! ===>
3627484
recieved.
Now, write more stuff. more random shorts like this, or a longer one, or an epic 100.000+ words tale..
I don't care how long it is, I want more random comedy.
3627499 Random is what i do best.. and i Do dislike Grimdark..
......Not sure if anyone believes you Celly.
3669961 as my Co/Rewriter once told me: "Trollestia is best Celestia"
3627499 I wrote a new random short.. it's a bit Darker, but it has it's funny Moments, if you visualize certain events as.. Slap-stick as i did while writing them.
Hope your not too disappointed, i tend to write the entirety of my stories in a single setting, lest i lose interest.
3846960
Well, upload it so I can read it then
3847088 Its up now, sent it to be judged before bed.
3849239
such perfect timing..
I was planning on going to bed soon, so now I can save this for my breakfast reading in the morning.
So, I will NOT read it NOW, I will save it for tomorrow and enjoy it together with my morning coffee,
Followed by writing my opinions on it..
3849651 yes, and in your subseptibal, half-asleep state, the subliminal messaging within the fic will force you to spend all your savings on OVALTINE!
3850704
At the risk of sounding stupid - What exactly IS Ovaltine? (Keep in mind, I'm swedish, and guessing it's an american product name I am not familiar with..)
Anyhow, My half-sleep zombie state is only BEFORE my coffee.. I plan on reading along with my
REFILL CUP, NOT the FIRST cup, so I WON'T fall for your subliminal messaging! HAH!
3852975 basically, fancy chocolate milk/hot cocoa
well it's tomorrow, didja read it?
3854981
Sorry, no, my plans got screwed by other events (visit from friend) that occured when I was going to read it, and thus I was not able to read it yet..
However it is now 23.47 (by my local time),
and I plan on having it as (part of) my Night Reading tonight, so I shall begin right after I am done writing this comment! And then, I shall leave a comment with my opinions on the story when it has been read! Egghead over and out for now
3855368 I am working on chapter 2 right now,
It's from a different perspective, and is a mix of pants-wetting horror and classic-style slapstick.
May need to add a Comedy Tag if i overdo it tho...
3855500
so... dark horror-comedy... sounds good!
3855516
With zebra's, yes.
3855617
[pretend there is a Zecora smiley here, like the other pony faces you can put in messages]
That, I must certainly read.
My desire for horrorcomedies, it will feed.
I go now, to read chapter one.
I will leave you a comment, when I am done.
(Yeah, I can do Zecora-rhymes if I have to. )
3855633 Fair warning: My own rhymes are atrocious, still looking for a Bro with rythm to help.
3855665
Well, I'm no expert, But I will galdly help if I can..
3855676 Unrelated note, kitty just tried to consume my thumb.
There is blood everywhere,
Whiiich i am used to.
Playful cats are playful.
3855749
Read it, gave a long comment with very clear opinion. now obey what I said in that comment.
3855832 No, i am adding Pinkie Pie and Cheese Sandwich having a Rap Battle over Zecora's fate as she hangs over a bottomless pit!
Seriously tho, i'm taking your advise to heart, as, much like a changeling, i feed off of attention and feedback.
Feeed Me Seymore, Feeeeed Meeee!
3583484
Don't worry. It's the details that matter and you're the first person to do this. The closest I've ever seen anyone else come is these three oneshots. "Refugees+Trollestia" is actually surprisingly untrodden ground... especially on the scale of just Ponyville.
Changeling
Changelings, Changelings, Everywhere
Everyone's a Changeling
3583484
It is a fun idea to base a story around, isn't it?
I like what you did with it; you handled it well, with all of the Mane Six finding out pretty much at once, and of course Pinkie would want to have a changeling party!
And you say you're working on another chapter? Great! I'd love to see where you take the story from here.
3859621 The Idea i had for a chapter , but i cant get past "Twilight looking at
TrollestiaCelestia's reply, while pinkie giggles and prods Twilight's fleshy, wobbly crown"Thats all i got.
3859621 Well i am hoping my NEW Story is as original as I've hoped...
Zeghoula the Rhyming Zebra, ho!
Thanks for the positive words, comments sustain me!