- Member Since 13th Jun, 2012
- offline last seen Yesterday
AugieDog
I've been writing and selling stories for longer than a lot of folks reading this have been alive. Check Baal Bunny for more!
AugieDog
Joined 13th Jun, 2012 ·
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And I suppose:
I should mention that this one'll be six chapters long, each chapter named after a different flavor of quark. Though I'm going with the older style of nomenclature since I'd much rather have the last two chapters be "Beauty" and "Truth" than "Bottom" and "Top"...
Mike
3627225
So, "1-Up" was just a fringe benefit?
Oh my fucking god yes instant favorite!
Don't let anyone give you grief over your sex scenes. These are just perfect for the tone of these stories. More d'aww than unf.
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I didn't have any leeway:
With the first four, and besides "up," "down," "charm," and "strange" already work so very nicely for where I want to go with this story.
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Thanks!
Mike
I'm going to try:
For my usual "update every ten days" on this one, so look for chapter three, "Charm," on or about Jan. 7th!
Mike
"This means that Fluttershy needs a suit for the wedding instead of a dress! I'll have to come up with an entirely new design! There's no time!"
Also: I like this Discord! Stuff like his teeth bursting like popcorn is bizarre and surreal without being wacky or zany, or gratuitous, which is a trap that I've seen a lot of authors fall in to.
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You've been:
Reading my notes again, haven't you?
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Thanks! I found writing Discord's scenes in "Piefall" to be all kinds of fun and wanted to see what else I could do with him.
Mike
3692191
I like this Discord myself as well! Much better than my version where his teleporting tricks make him leave behind pictures of him singing in an opera while trapped in stone/confessing his love to a giant meatball on top of a mountain/swimming through the sea in a suit made of porcupine needles.
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One of the things:
I like best about writing Discord is thinking about the various ways he might smell. It's a whole world of oddness they can barely touch on in the show!
(let's pretend this is Twilight holding her nose)
Mike
3694545
I remember reading a fic describing Discord's smell as combined sewage and cotton candy.
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Throw in:
A banana cream pie, and I think you might be on to something!
Mike
Looks like:
My gig helping out at Equestria Daily is gonna take some actual time and effort. I mean, who knew??
So I'll be looking to update the story here every 14 days instead of every 10. Chapter 4, "Strange," should show up, then, on or about Jan. 22!
Mike
3756182 Cool story bro, really I'm proud :D
This is the best chapter so far. I love the way this chapter starts and I can't recall the last time I felt a strong emotional impact at the start of a chapter in the middle of a story. The build up really paid off. And Pinkie Pie is utterly awesome.
The sex scene... I think I mentioned before how I thought your sex scenes needed more hard visuals, but after reading this chapter I feel I need to take back what I said. There is so much emotion in these sex scenes that it would be a distraction to tell or show the action with a solid visual, such as describing Fluttershy's erection as thick, veiny, etc etc. It's honestly really impressive because the sex scenes are powerful, much like the difference between erotic and pornographic. So far, you're the only author I've read who pulls sex scenes like that off successfully, and it makes me a little jealous.
14 days is too long, but I can't wait to read what happens next.
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Thanks!
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I'm glad the sex scenes:
Are working the way I'm writing them. 'Cause I tried putting more physical details in the way folks like Applejinx and Steel Resolve do--and discovered that I couldn't even get one complete sentence done.
Mike
Eleemosynary?
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It's such an obscure reference:
I'm almost ashamed I let myself make it. See, Robert Benchley is one of my all-time favorite writers, and in one of his essays titled "Do You Make These Mistakes," he writes:
And since the word actually means something that's given out as charity, it just fit in context.
At least, in my brain it fit in context...
Mike
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Yeah, bottom and top would only work if you were writing the cloppy scenes you've said you won't. (But damn would they work if you were)
I think you've made the right choice there by the way. Sex scenes don't work well when using predominantly clinical terms like vulva and lacinia, and would be even worse when combined with an intentionally cute term like 'wiggler'. Changing the terms you use would be the only option, but would be out of place compared to your previous writing in this series.
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Thanks!
I've tried to make Applejack's love of words and Fluttershy's fear of them a constant through the series, so it's AJ that really sets the clinical tone for the terminology.
Mike
Either Rarity is devastated by having to make a suit and not a dress for Fluttershy, or she's disgusted by it and flees in an attempt to avoid facing the truth that one of her best friends is not... ordinary.
Next time:
I bring Discord anywhere near anything with the word "philosophy" in it, I'd like someone please to hit me in the back of the head with a custard-filled sock.
And if I can manage to keep chapter 5, "Beauty," below 8,000 words, I'd say we'll all see it on or about Feb. 7th.
Mike
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Aww, but keeping it under 8000 will ruin the pattern.
This is the most comprehensibly incomprehensible Discord I've ever seen. Well done indeed.
3840375
But keeping the wordcount down means there'll be less of it for us to read, and I'm not sure we can be holdin' with that.
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Oh don't worry about that, Pinkie gave me the equipment (Don't ask how she got them, I have no idea).
*points to the giant trebuchet - armed with a sock - aimed at AugieDog's head*
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Darn tootin'.
You know, I don't think I've ever been this close to saying "Aw, poor baby, is the universe not rearranging itself for you?" and actually meaning it.
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I was actually a little worried:
About the episode today and what they might do with Discord. But yeah: the whole "expecting the universe to rearrange itself" thing is still front and center.
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But we're all about the pattern-breaking here! Except next chapter will have the actual wedding, so I'm pretty sure the word count'll be within standard tolerances.
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Thank you. I knew I could count on my intrepid readers!
Mike
derpicdn.net/img/2013/3/17/272466/thumb.png
"Dirty boy, dirty dirty dirty!"
derpicdn.net/img/2013/1/19/217597/thumb.png
3844576
Chapter Six:
That's all I'll say.
Mike
3842355
Y'know:
The more I've been thinking about that phrase, the more I find it to be the key to Discord's character as I'm portraying it here. For his entire life, he's done exactly that: rearranged the universe for his own purposes. But now for the first time he's trying not to do that, trying not to force things to happen to suit himself. And he's finding it just a little bit disconcerting...
Mike
Imposition of order equals escalation of chaos. Of course they're perfect for each other.
Is Ups 'n' Downs a real game? I can't find rules for it.
3863196
They do:
Complement each other quite nicely, and I'm a sucker for complementarity.
Up'n'Downs is completely made up. I wanted a game that sounded like it could be played as pegasus vs. earth pony, and that name just popped into my head.
Mike
While I love this story, and I think you have a really good interpretation of Discord (and I actually think "I don't want to want, I don't want to want to want", etc, makes perfect sense, but then I come from a line of people who say things like "I loved you so much that I married you even though I didn't love you"), this went a bit off kilter for me the moment you made indications that Twilight's reaction to the news of Discord's interest was cautious potential interest herself.
Canonically Twilight has never shown anything for Discord but impatience, anger and distrust. That Discord could be interested in Twilight is almost obvious; he represents Disharmony and she is his opposite principle, which generates tension, conflict and unpredictable interaction, which is exactly what he thrives on. But while Disharmony thrives on opposition, Harmony does not. Twilight won't be attracted to someone on the basis of "it's really a lot of fun to rile them up"; she'd seek similarities, not differences. And you haven't actually shown us any Twilight-Discord interactions. We know that they've been arguing physics, math and philosophy and that Discord has become obsessed with her on mostly this basis, but we have been given no indication up to this point how Twilight feels about it.
It's not impossible to imagine Twilight becoming attracted to Discord. He's incredibly knowledgeable about subjects she cares about deeply, and she does enjoy testing her intellectual skills and having a good debate. But we haven't seen it. Unlike Pinkie Pie or Fluttershy, there is no canon support for Twilight having any feelings for Discord but antagonism, and unlike Celestia, whose history is a black box that anything can be read into without contradicting canon, we've seen too much of Twilight's entire history with Discord to buy romantic or even friendly feelings unless we're actually shown their development. So Twilight being all "I'm willing to explore this possibility" when we have not actually seen any evidence prior to this chapter that Twilight has any feelings for Discord that we haven't seen in canon... it feels like it comes out of nowhere.
3869485
It's a problem:
With the way I chose to structure the story, I've come to realize. If I'd included Twilight as a "point of view" character from the beginning, I could've addressed this issue gradually over the first three chapters.
As it is, though, the first half of chapter 5 is Applejack and Twilight teleporting bit by bit across Equestria to pick up Applejack's father and bring him back to Sweet Apple Acres for the wedding. And Applejack is gonna have a few pointed questions for Twilight about this interest she's showing in Discord.
So we'll see if that works.
Mike
Eight thousand words, all righty:
"Truth," then, chapter 6 and the conclusion to our tale, should be along by Feb. 24th or so. It had better not by in the 9K range: that's all I'll say!
Mike
That was wholly unexpected. You continue to write a perfect progression to Discord's reformation, and yet I would have never guessed that he would help bring Marmalade to the wedding. I really enjoyed the fact that the wedding was seen mostly through Discords perspective, although I can see someone being upset that there wasn't much detail to the wedding ceremony itself. Also, poor Apple Bloom
Cannot wait for the rest of this story though. Really interested in where it goes from here.
Dear god, man. Where did this come from?! That had to be the best chapter of this story by a landslide! The showing of Discord's emotional state, the reunions, and just...wow.
3925362 But it has to be over 9,000 to complete the pattern! Chapter 1 was 4k words, 2 was 5k, 3 was 6k, 4 was 7, and this one is 8. So truth has to be 9k or it breaks the pattern...
3925452 Yes, pretty much all of this.
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Thanks, folks!
The wedding's really where everything's been leading since the third chapter of "Biology" back in the dim, dark, distant past, but I only realized we had to see it from Discord's semi-reluctant point of view fairly late in the planning stages for this story a couple months ago. I'm glad it seems to be working for the most part!
As for chapter 6's length, I know exactly what has to happen during its three scenes, and alas, I just don't see how I can stretch it to 9K. Maybe I'll figure something out during the actual writing process, but, well, with Discord aboard, one should be prepared for the disruption of one's patterns, one supposes...
Mike
Just keep talking about how powerful Twilight is.
3927787
This comment:
Makes me think you might enjoy the first scene of "Truth," the upcoming chapter 6...
Mike
Man, this is just so good.
3930592
Thanks!
I've been having way too much fun writing it, and I've still got one more chapter to go!
Mike
Which ends it:
I'll be taking most of March off to get some non-Pony stories written, but then I'll be back with a couple short stories. See you then!
Mike
Nice first 2 generations of quarks for the first four chapters.