The Strange Case of Cheese Sandwich
It was reading time for the Tri-Pies, when the three of them would curl up on their beds and read their respective library books. Cherry giggled at the latest issue of Bitsie and Vanilla, Raspberry sighed as she read The Wide-Awake Princess, and Blueberry flipped through the pages of an Agatha Crusty novel.
Cherry looked up from her comic for a moment and noticed how speedily her sister was going through her book.
"Are you even reading it?"
"Yeah," Blueberry said, her eyes not leaving the pages. "It's okay. The words are still in my head. Auntie Twilight says I have photographic memory."
Raspberry's head shot up as she blinked. "Photographic what?"
"Photographic memory. It kind of works like a camera. I remember everything I see."
Cherry and Raspberry glanced at each other.
"How come we don't have that?" they asked together.
"I don't know," Blueberry said with a shrug.
"What are you reading, anyway?" Raspberry inquired. "Another Nancy Horseshoe book?"
"Nah. I finished the series a week ago. This is Agatha Crusty. Auntie Twilight says she's one of the greatest mystery writers ever. So far, I agree with her."
"The book good?" Cherry asked.
"Amazing! Would you believe this woman was married to her supposedly dead husband for years and didn't realize it?"
"Wow! That is amazing!"
"Wait," Raspberry said. "You never told us you finished the Nancy Horseshoe series. When did you even find the time? We only go to the library once a week."
"Oh, I've actually gone seven times a week," Blueberry said.
"You've gone to the library without us?"
"I finished the books so fast, I couldn't wait until the end of the week."
"But...we always go together."
"Sorry, but I just couldn't wait."
"But...but..."
"Shush! Parrot is about to nab the bad guy!"
There was a knock at the door and a cheerful stallion's voice called: "Can I come in?"
"What's the password?" Cherry teasingly asked as she bounced over to the door.
"Call the doctor, beg and plead..."
"Doctor, tell me what I need!" Cherry continued as she opened the door.
Their father, wearing a bright blue shirt, burst in and swept the little red filly in his hooves.
"Try to put a little cheese in your knees!" they finished together.
"And how are my favorite girls doing today?" the red-headed orange stallion with green eyes inquired.
"Blueberry's reading about some woman with a husband in disguise and Raspberry's mad at her for going to the library without us," Cherry explained. "Oh, and we found out Blueberry has photographic memory."
"Is that so?" Red Shoes asked, looking down at the blue filly. "Alright, Smarty Pants. What did we have for breakfast yesterday morning?"
Blueberry rolled her eyes. "Pancakes."
"What kind?"
"I had blueberry, Raspberry had raspberry, Cherry had cherry, Mom had chocolate chip and you had the same as hers but with mayonnaise on top."
"How many did we have?"
"The three of us had fifteen, Mom had fifty and you had fifty-three, but Mom thought she could eat more than you and challenged you to a pancake-eating contest and you tied for one hundred and seventy-eight when you both passed out into a pancake coma."
"Okay, come here you little smart aleck!"
Blueberry squealed as her father leapt onto the bed, squeezed her around the waist and ruffled her mane.
"You just keep getting smarter and smarter each day!" Red Shoes exclaimed. "I wonder where you get it from. Certainly not from your mom's side of the family."
"I heard that, Red!"
Before he could turn around, Pinkie Pie tackled him from behind, crushing little Blueberry beneath them both.
"I was only kidding!" Red Shoes chuckled. "Cutie, our little girl's got a gift! I wouldn't be surprised if her cutie mark was for something smarty, like curing the common cold!"
"Or if she became an alicorn princess for being so smart!"
"Um...guys?" Blueberry wheezed. "Kind of squished here!"
"Whoops!" her parents said, moving away from her.
"Speaking of cutie marks," Raspberry said, "the Crusaders agreed we were going to ask our parents and older siblings how they got their cutie marks."
"We thought it would help us figure out our special talents," Cherry added.
"Ooh!" Pinkie Pie piped, bouncing up and down. "You're going to love my cutie mark story! It's a gem!"
"We already know your story, Mom," Blueberry said. "You've told it to us eighty-six times. We want to hear Dad's!"
Red Shoes' smile fell. "What?"
"Yeah, Dad!" Cherry chimed, pointing to the picture of the glasses and red nose on his flank. "Tell us how you realized your special talent was clowning around and doing magic tricks!"
Pinkie Pie stopped bouncing and her smile disappeared too once she realized what they were asking.
"Uh..." Red Shoes uttered.
"Come on, Daddy!" Raspberry pleaded. "Tell us!"
"Tell us, tell us, tell us!" the Tri-Pies chanted, bouncing up and down.
The red-headed stallion bit his lip and rubbed the back of his neck.
"Uh...oh! I think I left something on the stove! Be right back, girls!"
He zipped out of the room and came back a second later.
"Come on, darling!" he exclaimed, taking his wife by the hoof. "You better come too! I need help with the, uh...frosting!"
As their parents vanished, the three fillies tilted their heads in confusion.
"That was weird," Raspberry said.
"Why wouldn't Dad share his cutie mark story with us?" Blueberry wondered.
"Eh," Cherry shrugged. "It's probably something really embarrassing."
"I wonder what Daddy looked like as a foal," Raspberry pondered. "I bet he was all cutesy-wootsy like us!"
"Now that I think about it," Blueberry said, tapping her chin. "I've never seen any pictures of Daddy when he was little."
Cherry gasped. "You don't think Daddy used to be a dork, do you?"
"You could be right. Maybe he is embarrassed about something."
Blueberry grinned and stood up as her curiosity kicked in. "I'll bet we can find a picture of him in the attic!"
Cherry and Raspberry blinked.
"We have an attic?" they both asked.
Blueberry chuckled as she jumped off the bed. "Come on, let's go."
She led her sisters down the hallway, stopped and pointed up to a square cut in the ceiling.
"How long has that been up there?" Raspberry wondered aloud.
"Cherry, would you do the honors?" Blueberry asked with a bow.
"Oh, yeah!" Cherry chimed, crouching to the ground. "Cherry Bomb!"
She sprang into the air, grabbed the cord to the door and opened it as she came down. A ladder slid out of the ceiling and the triplets coughed as dust filled the air.
"Come on, you guys!" Blueberry urged, climbing up the ladder. "Let's go explore!"
"Seriously," Raspberry said as she and Cherry followed. "How could we have not known this was up here?"
Once they were at the top, all three of their jaws dropped.
"Whoa!" they said in unison.
"Man, this place needs some tidying up!" Blueberry exclaimed.
"Is that the carousel from our sixth birthday?" Cherry asked, pointing to an old carousel of plastic ducks covered in cobwebs.
"And the Daring Do parade balloon from the Dash twins' cute-ceañeara?" Raspberry observed.
"So this is what happens to Mom and Dad's party stuff after it's used," Blueberry said with a nod.
Before them was a mountain of party supplies, from streamers to roller coaster cars to giant balloons.
"How are we gonna find Dad's foal pictures in here?" Cherry wondered.
"We follow the sign, of course."
Cherry and Raspberry turned to Blueberry, who was standing by a crossroads sign with arrows pointing in different directions.
"Let's see," she said, tapping her chin as she read the signs. "Amusement Park Rides, Rubber Duckies, Baking Supplies, Chocolate Lake..."
"Chocolate lake?!" Cherry and Raspberry exclaimed, licking their lips.
"Aha! Personal Stuff!" Blueberry pointed to their right. "That way!"
They followed the sign to a tower of cardboard boxes. Raspberry fell over trying to look at the top.
"This could take a while," Cherry said.
"Well, then let's get started!" Blueberry said excitedly, jumping into the pile.
The Tri-Pies spent the next few hours searching through the boxes, stumbling upon many objects.
"Ooh, lookie!" Raspberry squeaked, holding up an orange Hawaiian shirt. "Must be Dad's. There are a whole lot of shirts in here!"
Cherry popped out of the mess with a scrapbook in her hooves. "Look at this!"
She opened the page to a picture of the three of them in diapers.
"Aw!" Raspberry said. "We were the cutest little foals ever!"
"We still are!" Cherry chimed.
"Wow!" Blueberry exclaimed, pulling out a tall, gray detective hat. "Mom told me she had this! She just didn't know where to find it!" She happily put it on her head. "What do you think?"
Raspberry and Cherry cocked their heads.
"What are you supposed to be?" Raspberry asked.
"Never mind," Blueberry sighed. "Hey, check this out!"
She pointed to a chest with a picture of a grilled cheese sandwich on the lid. Curious, Blueberry went over to it and opened the lid. She coughed as dust blew in her face.
"What's in it?" Raspberry and Cherry chimed, bouncing up to her. "What's in it?"
"Weird stuff," Blueberry replied.
She took out two rubber chickens, one in each hoof. The chicken in her right hoof had a big red "2" painted on its belly.
"Cute!" Cherry piped.
"And look!" Raspberry said, digging into the chest. "They come with little hats!"
She took out a miniature fez and a Stetson and put them on the two chickens.
"And look!" Cherry said as she pulled out a black and gray striped poncho, along with a matching Stetson. "There are a lot more hats in here, only bigger!"
"What is all this stuff?" Blueberry asked as she looked further into the trunk.
She found a photo album with the same grilled cheese sandwich on the cover. She blew the dust off and opened it up. On the first page was a picture of their mom singing onstage at one of her parties. She wore a top hat and bow tie, so did the pony playing the accordion next to her. The stallion was orange, with green eyes and poofy brown hair.
"Who's that?" Raspberry wondered aloud.
"I don't know," Blueberry said, narrowing her eyes. "But he looks familiar. I can't quite put my hoof on it..."
"Doesn't Dad play the accordion?" Cherry questioned.
"Hmm," the blue filly uttered as she tapped her chin. "Now that you mention it, he does kind of look like Dad."
"That's silly!" Raspberry snorted. "Daddy's a redhead! This dude's a brunette!"
"But...they have the same eyes...and coat...and physicality..."
Cherry turned the page. "Yeah, but they don't have the same cutie mark."
It was true. The next page showed Pinkie Pie and that same stallion standing on the same stage, beneath a banner with their Aunt Rainbow Dash on it. They could barely make out the stallion's cutie mark, which was the same grilled cheese sandwich as on the cover. Now that Blueberry thought about it, the sandwich was divided in a way that it looked like an accordion.
"Look!" Raspberry said, tapping her hoof on the page. "There's a caption!"
"The Super Duper Party Ponies," Blueberry read, "Cheese Sandwich and Pinkie Pie, at the Birth-aversary of Rainbow Dash. Aha! So that pony's name is Cheese Sandwich!"
"Eh," Cherry shrugged. "I could've guessed that."
"Look at the date here. This was taken almost twenty years ago!" Blueberry's eyes focused intently on the stallion. "I wonder why Mom never mentioned him..."
Raspberry gasped. "You don't suppose he's Mom's ex-boyfriend, do you?"
"No. Mom said Dad's the only stallion who ever caught her eye."
"Maybe he could be Dad's brother," Cherry suggested. "He looks an awful lot like him." She gasped. "We have an uncle! A real one, not an honorary one!"
"If he's our uncle," Blueberry said, "why have we never heard of him?"
They all pondered for a while and then Cherry gasped.
"What if...Mom is an axe murderer and she keeps her victims' things in the attic?!" She gasped again and looked around nervously. "What if there are other trunks of things that belonged to murdered ponies?!"
"Cherry!" Blueberry shouted. "Calm down! Mom is not an axe murderer!"
"Or is she?!"
"She isn't! You know Mom!"
"Do we?! Do we really?!"
"Cherry, if there's one thing I learned from all those detective novels is that we shouldn't jump to conclusions. Even if they are possible."
"So you agree with me?"
"No, but you may be on to something. Who's to say this pony's even alive?" Blueberry shut the book. "Let's go ask Mom."
"WHAT?!" Cherry exclaimed. "You're going to ask an axe murderer if she killed some pony?!"
"Cherry!" Raspberry hollered. "Mommy's not an axe murderer!"
"That's what she wants you to think!"
Blueberry shook her head as she went down the ladder. "Trust me, Cherry. I've read all about axe murderers. Mom's not one of them."
"And how exactly do you know that?" Cherry demanded as she and Raspberry followed her.
"I've turned the house upside-down. Didn't find an axe or any other murderer weapon of any kind."
"Oh," Cherry smiled. "Okay, that makes me feel better."
"Still, who is this Cheesy guy?" Raspberry asked.
"His name is Cheese Sandwich," Blueberry reminded her, "and we are about to find out."
But as they approached the living room, they heard arguing:
"Just tell them you got it at a talent show or something!" their mother yelled.
"Talent show," their father breathed. "Good one. Wait. How do you know they'll buy that? They're pretty smart, especially Blueberry."
Blueberry turned to her sisters and put her hoof to her lips. Then she carefully peered through the doorway to see her parents looking very upset.
"Look," Pinkie said calmly. "Maybe it's time for you to come out of the closet."
"I can't!" Red insisted. "My closet is locked from the outside!"
"They're your daughters, Red! They deserve to know the truth!"
"No! They'll go crazy!"
"Fine! If you won't tell them, I will!"
"No! You Pinkie Promised!"
Pinkie gritted her teeth and stomped her hoof. "Darn it!"
"And you know I can't come out of hiding while she's out there!"
"If she lays a hoof on you," his wife snarled as she pounded her hooves together, "she'll have to answer to me!"
"Who's she?"
Blueberry's hoof flew to her mouth once she realized she had said that out loud. Her parents turned to her with wide eyes.
Red Shoes bit his lip. "Blue, I..."
He stopped as his body started shaking all over.
"Honey, what's wrong?" Pinkie asked.
"Is your Shoesy Sense a-tingling?" Blueberry inquired as she and the others raced up to their father.
"That's a dumb name, by the way," Raspberry whispered to Cherry.
The triplets jumped as flames shot out of their father's ears. They had never seen him do that before, not even during his fire dancing routine. When the shaking and burning was over, Red let out a gasp.
"Oh no!" he cried. "She's coming!"
"Who's coming?" Cherry asked.
"Honey, we're moving! NOW!"
He dashed out of the room, leaving his family in a daze. Pinkie turned to her daughters and smiled.
"Ooh! You found my old Sheerluck Holmes hat!"
"Err, yeah," Blueberry said, shaking out of her trance. "We found something else, too."
She opened the album and held it up for her mom to see. "Who's Cheese Sandwich?"
Pinkie Pie gasped dramatically and snatched the book. "Where did you get this?!"
"We found it in the attic," Raspberry explained.
"The attic?! I told you to stay out of the attic!"
"No, you didn't," Blueberry said.
"I didn't? Oh. Well, I'm telling you now! So stay out!"
"But Mom, who's that stallion with you?"
"None of your business! Now, if you'll excuse me, I have to go calm your dad down!"
She tucked the book in her hair and marched out of the living room.
"He's not serious about moving, is he?" Cherry asked.
"Don't worry, my little angels," Pinkie grinned. "You know very well we would never move from Ponyville, unless it was the Toaster Apocalypse."
When she was gone, the siblings turned to each other with confused expressions on their faces.
"That was weird," Cherry noted. "Even for Mom and Dad."
"Very suspicious," Blueberry said, rubbing her chin. "And I'll bet it has something to do with this Cheese Sandwich guy."
"Yeah," Raspberry nodded. "Mom looked pretty upset when she saw his picture."
"Girls, I believe we need to do a little investigating. Cheese Sandwich is somehow connected to Mom and Dad's weird behavior, so I suggest we find out more about him."
"How?" Cherry asked. "Mom won't tell us anything and Daddy's got one hoof in the nuthouse."
Blueberry tapped her chin again. "I got an idea! Remember the date that was in the scrapbook?"
Cherry and Raspberry looked at each other and said, "No."
"Well, I do. That picture was taken the same year Mommy and her friends started a journal where they recorded important events in their lives. Maybe there's something about this Cheese Sandwich. Auntie Twilight keeps it in her library, so I suggest we go there and read it."
"Hold on!" Raspberry exclaimed. "You want to read Mom's diary?"
Blueberry rolled her eyes. "Aw, come on! If she shared it with five other ponies, they were sure to have read her entries at some point!"
"You want what?" Twilight asked, her eyes blinking in confusion.
"We want that old diary of yours," Blueberry repeated. "We want to see what Mom wrote in there."
"Well, that's pretty private and you should respect..."
"But Mom's hiding something from us!" Raspberry insisted.
"Yeah!" Cherry confirmed. "We found this scrapbook with a guy named Cheese Sandwich in it, but when we showed it to Mom, she freaked out!"
"Oh," Twilight said with a grin. "Is that all? Well, I believe Pinkie wrote something about Cheese Sandwich's visit."
"Do you know who he is, Auntie Twilight?" Blueberry inquired.
"Yes. He was a party planner, like your mom, except he was a traveling one. He came into Ponyville one day to throw Rainbow Dash's birthday party, and that got Pinkie jealous, even challenged him to a Goof-Off. However, they compromised and threw the party together."
Raspberry tilted her head. "Why does that story sound familiar?"
"I think I know," Blueberry said. "It sounds a bit like how Mom and Dad met, except it wasn't Aunt Rainbow's birthday, but the Cake twins'. Dad was the entertainment and Mom got jealous. She then challenged him to a Goof-Off, but they called a truce because all Dad wanted to do was prove he was goofy enough for her. Then he asked her out on a date and the rest is history."
"Oh yeah," Raspberry said with a sigh. "The most romantic story ever!"
Twilight scrunched her nose. "That's what your parents told you?"
"Yeah," the Tri-Pies nodded.
"That's strange. As I recall, Pinkie was never jealous of Red. They seemed to hit it off really well. In fact, Pinkie was the one who hired Red for the party after seeing him at his magic show."
"Really?" Blueberry said, scratching her head. "Well, she did say she saw him at the magic show first. She didn't say she hired him."
Twilight narrowed her eyes. "Is that Pinkie Pie's old Sheerluck hat?"
"Uh-huh, but that's not important right now. Are you sure you got the story right?"
"Of course. I was there when Pinkie Pie hired him. A few days later, the two of them were inseparable. I always found it so strange how they got together so fast, as if they had known each other for years."
The alicorn finished her search of the shelves and pulled out a purple book with a jeweled cover. She levitated it into Blueberry's hooves.
"I'd prefer it if you read it here," Twilight said. "I don't want that book damaged."
She went upstairs to give the fillies some privacy.
"Okay," Blueberry said, opening the book. "Let's find Mom's entries." She began turning the pages without seeming to read them. "No, no, no, no, aha! Found it!"
"What does it say?" Cherry demanded.
"Dear Diary,
Today I met the most super duper awesome pony ever! His name is Cheese Sandwich and he's a super duper party pony, like me! He came into Ponyville, because his Cheesy Sense (like my Pinkie Sense!) was telling him there was a party! Rainbow Dash's Birth-aversary, to be exact! In fact, I'm at that party right now, which we threw together!
Maybe I should start at the beginning. He came into town, blew every pony away with his awesomeness, was asked to throw Rainbow Dash's party instead of me, and I got very sad. So I challenged him to a Goof-Off to prove that I was the better party pony! And I'd have to say, he plays a mean accordion! I swear, the thing tried to bite me!
But things got out of hoof and I realized Rainbow Dash wasn't having fun on her special day. So I forfeited and packed up my party supplies. Then my friends came to apologize, so did Cheese! Turns out I was the one who inspired him to become a super duper party thrower! And then we agreed to throw Dashie's party together!
Anyway, I let my pride get in the way of letting my friend enjoy her special day. Cheese is a really great party pony! I should've been a big enough pony to admit that. After all, he is kind of cute...
Sorry, I had to go away for a while. Cheese was leaving and he gave me his special rubber chicken friend Boneless as a memento! Don't worry, he has another one to keep him company.
I'm sure gonna miss him. Cheese, I mean. We make a pretty good team! Imagine if we started a party business together! I hope he comes back someday.
The (Not) One and Only Party Pony,
Pinkie Pie."
"That explains the rubber chickens," Cherry chimed.
Blueberry flipped through the journal some more.
"Wow," she uttered when she stopped at a page.
"What?" Raspberry and Cherry asked, leaning in to get a look.
The page was covered in pink glitter pen, with words like Pinkie + Cheese, P.P. loves C.S., Mrs. Pinkie Sandwich, Mrs. Pinkamena Diane Sandwich, Cheese Pie, Pink Sandwich. In the bottom right-hoof corner in pencil was Pinkie, stop doodling all over the diary. R.D.
"Wow!" Raspberry exclaimed. "Looks like Mom had a little crush on this guy."
"But," Blueberry uttered, "she couldn't have. She said the only pony she ever loved was Dad."
"Nuh-uh!" Cherry insisted. "She told us she once had a crush on Aunt Rainbow, remember?"
Raspberry tilted her head. "I thought she was kidding about that."
"Hey! It happens!"
Blueberry turned to the next page. "I'm thinking it was a little more than a crush."
There was a list of names: Club Sandwich, Ranch Sandwich, Daisy Sandwich, Peanut Butter Sandwich, Jelly Sandwich, Finger Sandwich, Cucumber Sandwich, Apple Pie, Maud Pie, Inkie, Blinkie, Clyde, Sue, Boysenberry Pie, Strawberry Pie, Cheese Pie...
"Hey!" Raspberry exclaimed, pointing to three names in a circle. "It's our names!"
"Was Mom psychic or something?" Cherry marveled.
"Don't be silly! She was just picking foal names!"
"She wanted to have kids with this Cheese Sandwich guy?" Blueberry questioned.
"She picked our names before she and Dad married?" Cherry chimed.
Blueberry slammed the book angrily. "I can't believe there was a guy before Dad! No wonder Mom freaked out when she saw him! Does Dad even know about Cheese Sandwich?!"
Twilight came downstairs once she heard shouting. "Is everything alright down there?"
"Auntie Twilight," Blueberry said, walking up to her, "did you know Mom liked some pony before Dad?"
"I knew about her crush on Cheese Sandwich, if that's what you mean."
"Why didn't you tell us?!"
"I didn't think it was that important. Sweetie, not every pony marries their first love. Your mom knew Cheese Sandwich long before she met your dad."
"Did Cheese Sandwich ever come back to Ponyville?" Raspberry inquired.
"Err, no. I mean he and Pinkie Pie used to write letters to each other, but Rainbow Dash's party was the last either of us saw of him."
"Letters?" Blueberry uttered, her head shooting up. "Hey! There was a pile of envelopes in that trunk with Cheese's stuff! I'll bet those are the letters you're talking about!"
"Trunk?" Twilight asked, blinking. "Pinkie has a trunk of Cheese Sandwich's stuff?"
"Come on! Let's go read them!"
"But Mom said we're not allowed in the attic," Raspberry reminded them.
"Who cares? Maybe those letters can give us another clue!"
"What other clue?" Cherry asked. "Isn't this mystery pretty much solved?"
"Of course not! We still don't know why Mom was nervous about us finding Cheese Sandwich's stuff and we don't know why it's all up there!"
"Maybe he sent her that stuff," Raspberry said. "Ponies in long-distance relationships often send each other things in the mail."
"And I would be nervous if my foals found out I had an ex-boyfriend," Cherry added.
Blueberry shook her head. "No! There's more to this! I can feel it in my gut!"
"Blueberry!" Raspberry exclaimed putting her hoof on her sister's shoulder. "Calm down! Auntie Twilight's right. We shouldn't have poked into Mom's private stuff."
"Yeah," Cherry agreed. "I mean...this Cheese guy is a thing of the past. And it's nothing bad, anyway. So Mom had an ex-boyfriend. Big deal. It's not really our business."
"But..." Blueberry stammered. "Don't you guys want to find out more? Don't you want to know the whole story?"
Cherry and Raspberry looked at each other and sighed.
"You're on your own, Blue," the latter said.
Blueberry watched in disbelief as her sisters exited the library. Twilight put a hoof on the blue filly's shoulder.
"I know you wanna be like the detectives in your books," the alicorn said softly, "and uncover the mysteries of life, but there are some mysteries that are better unsolved."
"But..."
"Besides, this little thing about your mom's past doesn't affect you now. Your mom's married to your dad now. Does it really matter if she dated other stallions before?"
Blueberry sighed. "I guess not."
"Good. Now why don't you go home and give your parents a hug?"
Blueberry said nothing, only hung her head and nodded.
As she walked down the streets, she could not shake the feeling that there was more to this mystery than meets the eye. But if her sisters didn't believe her, what could she do?
"Excuse me?"
Blueberry looked up to see a white pegasus with blonde hair and purple eyes.
"Yeah?" the filly said in response.
"Hi," the mare said with a wave. "I'm new in town. I'm looking for an old friend. Maybe you've seen him?"
"I guess. What does he look like?"
"Oh, tall, orange, brunette, green eyes, really wacky, answers to the name of Cheese Sandwich?"
Blueberry's eyes widened. "Cheese Sandwich?"
"Ah, so you do know him!"
"Well, I've heard of him, but I've never met him. He hasn't been in Ponyville for almost twenty years."
The pegasus narrowed her purple eyes and glanced around. "I got a tip from a cranky old donkey! He's around here somewhere! I've got a score to settle with him, and when I find him, he's gonna get it!"
She spread her wings and took to the skies. She came back a second later and took off Blueberry's hat.
"Huh," she muttered.
"What?"
"Just checking something."
She put her hat down and flew off again.
"That was weird," Blueberry said.
She also found it a strange coincidence that some pony else wanted information on this Cheese Sandwich.
Blueberry was walking down the hallway, perplexed on her meeting with the strange pegasus mare. She wished she had caught her name, or at least gotten more answers out of her. Every time she heard about this Cheese Sandwich, things got weirder. Why was this mare looking for him and why was she searching for him in Ponyville?
She paused as she heard hyperventilating coming from her parents' room. Her curiosity was peaked once again and she put her ear to the door to listen.
"Breathe into the bag, baby!" she heard her mother say. "In and out, in and out."
"This isn't helping!" her father shouted. "What's the point of breathing?! When she finds me, I won't have to worry about breathing!"
"Red! Calm down! She won't find you! And even if she does, I'll tell her to back off! After all, you're mine now!"
"You don't know her, honey! She's crazy!"
Pinkie gasped. "Crazier than me?!"
"No, you're good crazy. She's the bad crazy! And if she finds out I'm married, she'll get even madder! We have to leave Ponyville, NOW!"
"We're not leaving Ponyville!"
"But..." he heaved, "she'll...find..."
"Hold on. I'll get you another paper bag."
Blueberry gasped as she heard hoofsteps coming toward the door. She ran to her room before her mother could catch her.
As she collapsed on her bed, she struggled to catch her breath, but she smiled too. This mystery wasn't over. Her parents were hiding something, something about a mare. And she was going to investigate it tonight.
Blueberry glanced around the dark bedroom. The clock read midnight and her sisters were fast asleep. She opened the drawer of her bedside table and took out a flashlight. She turned it on, climbed out of bed and tiptoed out the room.
She tried being oh so careful not to make the floor creak as she crept down the hallway. She stopped beneath the attic door and realized a flaw in her plan. How was she going to bring down the ladder without making any noise? She had also never jumped that high before. No, only Cherry could do that and she couldn't wake her.
Blueberry returned a short time later with a step-ladder. She stood on her hind legs, but still could not reach the door. She wobbled and would have fallen over has she not set her front hooves down and balanced herself.
She then had another idea and took the step-ladder away. She came back with a trampoline. Her warning from her mother echoed through her head:
Don't bounce too high or you'll hit the ceiling and crack your pretty little skull!
Blueberry nodded, as if her mother could see her. Their mother had always taught them to take risks, but think safe. Blueberry started with a light jump and the more force she put into her legs, the higher she went. She kept reaching for the cord to the door until she was high enough to grab it and pull it down.
But it wouldn't come down. It was locked. Blueberry gritted her teeth as she leapt off the trampoline and landed on the floor. She had a lock pick in her Nancy Horseshoe Detective Kit, but she couldn't pick the lock while bouncing up and down.
She put away the trampoline and came back with not just the lock pick, but four suction cups. She placed the lock pick in her mouth and strapped the suction cups to her hooves. She used them to climb the wall, hoping the sound of them sticking and unsticking wasn't loud enough to wake her family.
She then moved from the wall to the ceiling and finally made it to the attic door. It was hard to reach the lock with her mouth, so she used her hair to hold the piece of metal and stick it in the lock. After jiggling it around, she heard a click and smiled in satisfaction.
She let the lock pick fall to the floor, making a little ting! as it hit. Since her hooves were busy, Blueberry also used her hair to pull on the cord and the ladder fell out with a loud bang! The filly cringed, but she did not hear any pony waking up, so she crawled through the square hole.
She shook off her suction cups and went over to where they had found the trunk, but it wasn't there. Pinkie Pie must have moved it.
"Great," Blueberry grunted, glancing around the junkyard that was their attic. "It'll take forever to find it again!"
She hung her head, disappointed that she had gone through all this trouble for nothing.
"Hello?"
Blueberry's head shot up when she heard her mother's voice.
"Who's up there?"
The filly searched frantically around the attic for a hiding place. She chose to hide behind a carousel duck. She stiffened when she saw a light.
"Red, is that you?" Pinkie called. "Girls? Girls, I told you you're not allowed up here! How'd you even get the door open, anyway?"
Blueberry pressed her back against the carousel duck as her mother walked by.
"If you're a burglar, you don't scare me! Or a zombie pony! I'm gonna find you no matter what you are! I'll bet you're hiding in the chocolate lake! It's always the chocolate lake!"
The filly gulped and waited until her mother's hoofsteps were faint. She peered over the duck and glanced around. Pinkie must have gone further into the attic. For once, Blueberry was glad the place was so cluttered.
She took her chance and headed for the door. She did not bother closing it, since her mother would do it once she came down. She was about to rush to her room when she noticed the light in the bathroom down the hall was on and the door slightly ajar. Blueberry cursed her curiosity as she crept over to it.
She pushed the door open a crack and saw her dad standing in front of the mirror. He was squirting something on his hair, looking very anxious. Blueberry looked away before he could notice her, but she remembered the label on the bottle: Hair Dye.
Her dad dyed his hair? All this time?
These were the thoughts that ran through her head as she skittered back to her room. She crawled back in bed, closed her eyes and summoned her photographic memory. She recalled the picture of Cheese Sandwich and then thought of her dad. Then she looked at both images and compared them.
She had been right. They did look a lot alike. Same height, same built, same coat, same eye color. The only difference was the hair.
"Hair dye..." Blueberry muttered. She sat up in bed. "Hair dye!"
"Huh?" Raspberry grumbled.
Blueberry blushed. "Sorry, sis. Weird dream. Go back to sleep."
Raspberry only moaned in response.
The next morning, the Pie family's living room was crowded with ponies. Not just the Pies, but four of Pinkie's best friends (Rainbow Dash was still away with the Wonderbolts), Prism and Gemstone.
"Any pony know what the hay we're doin' here?" Applejack asked.
"I don't know," Prism shrugged. "Blueberry just told us to come here at eleven."
"Don't look at us," Cherry said.
"We have no idea what this is about either," Raspberry explained.
"I hope we get whatever this is over with," Rarity said, touching her stomach. "I have a doctor's appointment at noon. We need to check on how the little one is doing."
"Oh, I'm sure Blueberry just has a special surprise for us," Pinkie beamed. "Maybe a party!"
"Without us helping?" Raspberry asked, pointing to herself and Cherry. "I don't think so."
"Ahem."
They all turned to the pony that had cleared her throat, that pony being Blueberry. She was leaning against the doorway, the gray detective hat on her head, blowing into a bubble pipe.
"Ooh!" Pinkie squealed. "You found my old pipe too!"
Blueberry nodded coolly and took the pipe out of her mouth.
"I'll bet you're all wondering what you're doing here."
"Oh boy," Twilight said, rolling her eyes. "Like mother, like daughter."
"Technically," Pinkie whispered, "you were the one who said that."
"I called you here," Blueberry said as she walked within the circle of ponies, "to tell you all of a mystery so strange, peculiar and, of course, mysterious."
"I think she's finally cracked," Prism whispered to Gemstone.
"I heard that, missy! Anyway, yesterday afternoon, my sisters and I stumbled upon a mysterious trunk in the attic."
Pinkie Pie suddenly grew very nervous.
"In that trunk, we found, among many things, a photo album of this stallion named Cheese Sandwich."
Red Shoes gasped. "Um, Blue...?"
"Let me finish, Dad!" Blueberry narrowed her eyes. "If that is indeed your real name!"
He crossed his hooves. "Oh, I'm your father alright! Use whatever DNA test you've got on me!"
"I don't have to, because I already know you're not who you say you are."
Beads of sweat dripped down his forehead.
"Uh, sweetie..." Pinkie started to say.
"Back to this Cheese Sandwich!" Blueberry exclaimed. "We showed his picture to Mom, and she freaked out. We wanted to know why, so we read her old journal..."
"YOU READ OUR DIARY?!" her mother shrieked.
"Seems that Mom was very attached to this Cheese Sandwich, and that the story of how they met was somewhat similar to how she and Dad met." Blueberry looked accusingly at her parents. "But Auntie Twilight told us that the details of you meeting were twisted!"
Pinkie glared at the alicorn.
"Well, how was I to know?" Twilight shrugged.
"And," Blueberry continued, "I realized that not only were the stories of Cheese Sandwich and Dad similar, but their appearances were too!" She hopped onto Red Shoes' back. "You grown-ups have all met Cheese Sandwich. Haven't you noticed that he and Dad have the exact same coat, the exact same legs, the exact same bone structure, and the exact same eyes?"
"What are you sayin'?" Applejack asked.
Blueberry hopped off her father and then pointed at his face. "I'm saying that my dad is Cheese Sandwich!"
Every pony gasped, including Red Shoes. He tried to throw suspicion off him with a fake smile.
"What?!" he laughed. "Little filly, you've been reading too many of those detective stories! You know who I really am!"
"I do," Blueberry said. "And before you make any more denials, I'll have you know that I found this in the bathroom!" She lifted her hat and brought out a big red bottle. "Red hair dye!"
Every pony gasped again.
"Blueberry, stop!" Pinkie exclaimed, grabbing the bottle. "Your dad just...uses this to get rid of gray!"
"But he's not graying!" Blueberry insisted. She hopped on her dad again and pulled back his hair.
"Ow!" he cried.
"Hair dye is effective," the filly said, "but it's just so hard to get the roots, isn't it? And your roots are...aha!" A few of the ponies huddled to look. "Brown!"
And so came a third gasp. Then they all squinted at Red Shoes.
"She's right!" Twilight declared. "They do look the same!"
"I can't believe I haven't seen it before!" Applejack exclaimed.
"They're identical!" Fluttershy marveled.
"Of course!" Rarity said. "What are the odds of Pinkie finding a second pony as insane as her?"
"But they don't have the same cutie mark," Cherry noted, pointing to his flank.
"That's because it's painted," Blueberry claimed.
She pulled out a wash cloth and window spray from under her hat, spritzed some on her father's flank and scrubbed it hard. Soon, the picture of the glasses and clown nose chipped away to reveal a grilled cheese sandwich split apart to look like an accordion.
Naturally, every pony gasped again. Red Shoes, or rather Cheese Sandwich, sobbed.
"No!" Pinkie shouted, stepping in front of her husband. "It's not a cutie mark! It's a...tattoo! Which he was covering up! Because..."
"It's okay, honey," Cheese Sandwich said, gently pushing her aside. "The Swiss is out of the bag." He looked apologetically at the ponies. "Yes, I've been Cheese Sandwich this whole time, but you should know it was nothing personal." He looked down at his befuddled daughters. "I may not be Red Shoes, but I'm still your father." He was now speaking directly to Blueberry. "I don't know how you did it, but you saw right through my disguise."
"The only thing I couldn't figure out is," Blueberry said, "why?"
He hung his head. "I was on the run. My crazy ex-girlfriend wouldn't leave me alone! Believe me, she's crazy! Even crazier than Pinkie here!"
"Hey!" Pinkie shouted.
"I told you! She's the bad crazy! I moved from town to town, but no matter where I went, she always found me! She's a mad stalker! So...I created a new identity. I couldn't plan parties, for that would give myself away, but since I could already do things that defied logic, I became a clown slash magician. I dyed my hair red and painted over my cutie mark.
"It worked for a while, but she kept showing up in every town I went. I then found myself in Ponyville, and then..." he turned to his wife, "I bumped into Pinkie Pie. I knew it was dangerous to ask her out and it felt bad lying to her, but...she was just so fun and beautiful... It didn't take long for her to figure me out though. She knew me better than any pony else. She promised to keep my secret though and..." He looked down at the Tri-Pies. "Well, life happened."
Every pony stared at him in silence.
"So let me get this straight," Applejack said. "You cooked up this elaborate scheme just so you could escape an ex-girlfriend?"
Cheese Sandwich nodded and then grew nervous again. "And my Cheesy Sense tells me she's coming to town! If she finds me, I'm toast! No pun intended!"
"Wait," Blueberry said, remembering something. "This ex-girlfriend of yours, she wouldn't happen to be a pegasus, would she?"
Her father's eyes widened. "Yeah."
"Is she white?"
"Yes."
"Blonde?"
"Yes."
"Purple eyes."
"Yes."
"Cutie mark of three purple balloons?"
"Yeah. How did you...?"
"I saw her in town yesterday. She was asking about you."
Cheese Sandwich stiffened. "WHAT?!"
At that moment, the door burst open and a gust of wind blew into the room, extinguishing all the candles and closing the shutters. Every pony squinted at the dark figure standing in the doorway, her glowing purple eyes narrowing maliciously.
"Hello, Cheese," said a female voice.
Cheese Sandwich shrieked and ducked behind his wife.
"There's no use hiding," the mare said, advancing towards him. "I know it's you. Your dye-job can't fool me."
"Surprise!" Cheese exclaimed nervously. "What a nice...surprise!"
Twilight used her horn to light the room and every pony could see the mischievous look on the blonde pegasus' white face, the horn giving it an evil glow.
"Finally," she chuckled, "after ten years of searching, I've found you at last! Now we can settle the score between us."
"Back off, Blondie!" Pinkie shouted. "He's mine!"
"Oh, relax, Pink. I'm not trying to steal your hubbie. I just wanna give him something. Something that I've been wanting to give him for a long, long time."
Cheese gulped. "What?"
Her smile grew wider.
"Your scarf. You left it at my apartment, silly!"
Every pony sighed in relief as she held up a green scarf. Fluttershy then opened the shutters to let the light in. Surprise now had a friendly and cheery look about her.
"Oh," Cheese Sandwich said, blushing with embarrassment as he got up and took the scarf. "Thanks."
"Yeah!" Surprise piped. "I spent all these years trying to get it back to you, but you kept running away!"
"A scarf?" Rarity uttered. "All this...over a scarf?!"
"What's she talking about?"
Cheese laughed nervously. "Oh, it's a really funny story."
"Well, I've got plenty of time! While I'm here, why don't you introduce me to your cute little family?"
"Ooh!" Pinkie squealed. "I'll get the onion dip!"
A few minutes later, the ponies were laughing and talking as they ate potato chips with onion dip.
"Oh, Pinkie!" Surprise snorted. "You are so funny!"
"Thanks!" Pinkie exclaimed.
"Oh, Cheese, she's an absolute gem! And you have such adorable little fillies! Triplets, yet! You are one lucky stallion!"
"Thanks," Cheese chuckled. "How did you find my house, anyway?"
"Well, after realizing Blueberry was your daughter, I followed her home."
Blueberry scrunched her nose. "How did you know that? I didn't know my dad was Cheese Sandwich."
Surprise smiled. "You have the same ears."
"Does this mean you're going to dye your hair brown, Daddy?" Raspberry asked.
"Well," her father sighed, "I'm going to have to announce to every pony who I really am, but I won't dye my hair back if you girls don't want me to."
"I think you should, Dad," Blueberry insisted. "I mean we might be used to seeing you as a redhead, but I really think you should be yourself from now on."
Cherry and Raspberry nodded in agreement.
"Besides," Blueberry continued, "it doesn't matter if you're Red Shoes or Cheese Sandwich. You're still our dad."
Cheese smiled as he lifted the blue filly onto his knee. "I would've never come out of hiding if it weren't for you, little filly."
"You know, Cheese," Surprise giggled. "If you didn't want your scarf back, all you had to do was say so. You didn't have to take on a whole new identity."
"Actually," Cheese laughed, "I thought you were trying to get revenge on me for breaking up with you!"
"Seriously?"
"Seriously!"
They both burst out laughing. Surprise then nudged him playfully.
"Oh, Cheese! I may be loony, but I'm not the jealous type! Sure, I was upset at first, but I've moved on! I'm engaged!"
"Congratulations!" Rarity exclaimed. "Who?"
"Oh, he's this wacky stallion I met in Las Pegasus. His name's Red Shoes."
Every pony fell silent. Surprise glanced between them in confusion.
"What?"
"Aw, look!" Raspberry said dreamily, pointing to a picture of their parents at Sugar Cube Corner. "Mom and Dad on their first date."
The Tri-Pies were in the attic again, looking through another photo album.
"And here's Dad proposing to Mom," Cherry said, tapping the page. "With the giant balloon of them getting married!"
Blueberry chuckled. "It's nice to know Dad loves Mom no matter what he calls himself."
Raspberry turned the page and let out another dreamy sigh. "Aw! Mom and Dad's wedding!"
"Daddy looks good in a tux!" Cherry chimed. "And Mom looks beautiful in a wedding dress!" She snorted. "Though I think she ate too much wedding cake. Look at her belly."
Indeed, despite the wedding dress, their mother's large belly was obvious.
"Wait a minute," Blueberry said, looking at the bottom of the page. "Look at the date this picture was taken."
Raspberry shrugged. "So? We all know what day they got married. We celebrate their anniversary every year."
"Yeah, but...have you ever noticed that...?"
"Noticed what?" Cherry inquired.
"Well, this picture was taken eight months before we were born."
"So?"
"A pony gestation period lasts eleven months."
Raspberry and Cherry tilted their heads in confusion. Blueberry rolled her eyes.
"It takes eleven months for a pony to have a baby!"
"Oh!" the two of them said in unison.
"Wait," Cherry said, pointing at their mom's stomach. "Are you saying that...we were in Mom's belly three months before she and Dad got married?"
"I thought we came from the stork," Raspberry said, scratching her head.
The three of them looked at each other, silently agreeing on a solution.
"MOM!"
Pinkie flinched as she heard the shouts from her daughters. She put her hoof to her head and groaned.
"I really gotta keep them out of the attic."
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Well, that was a rather entertaining albeit contrived retcon.
Suprise's cameo sure was a...
Surprise
RED SHOES WAS CHEESE SANDWICH?!… I did not see that coming
all i can say about this is
derpicdn.net/img/2012/1/15/326/thumb.png
SURPRISE MUTHAFUCKA!!!!!
I love this chapter! Think you can write more mysteries in the long run?
Very nice and funny chapter.
I'm happy about Surprise coming. Me and my friends (few) are bronies and I mentioned G1 to them and they say its horrible even though they never watched it.
MY GOODNESS. SHE FOUND OUT CUPCAKES
Great chapter!
Not enough love for Blueberry!? What sort of crazy world is this? If it help Bluey have all my love! (Even though I normally hate blueberries).
This chapter is one of the silliest things I have read ever, and almost the entire chapter I was grinning ear to ear. And I broke out into loud laughter at Surprise's reveal.
Have I told you enough that Blueberry have all my love and is my favorite of your OCs and tied with Nyx for best OC ever (IMO).
Wow, okay then. Thanks for telling me.
I admit I only got a few chapters into list last time. This will come in handy.
Also I really liked it.
Wow. That was a really surprising twist, Bravo
Sequel? Can we see both couples meet up?
ha! I KNEW he was cheese! My Aires sense told me!
Nice this really was a surprise I thought that they were two ponies but nope,
words cannot describe this chapter. so instead have a trollestia
NICE!!! :D and kudos on including Surprise in this chapter, always great to see some of the older stuff come into this fandom
so there is another pony called Red Shoes. weird. I also got thinking: have the Tri-Pies met their blood-aunts? or is Pinkie, in this universe, an only child?
This has to be the most insane chapter I have EVER read! Wait, does that mean cheese is not the dad or is he? I'm confused.
My three most favourite characters in this chapter!!!!
OMG the suspense!
This was fantastic. The scarf bit was a little bit of a small climax, but it was funny all the same. 4.5/5 but what was the surprise cameo?
Stupid chapter in the history of Fimfiction chapters. But I mean like, funny-good, stupid. Even my mom liked it!
LIKE, OMG! THE TRI-PIES WERE IN BIRTH BEFORE THE WEDDING DATE? CRAZY!
You should definitely write up the full story on how Cheese Sandwich courted Pinkie Pie. I'm like Blueberry. I want the full details.
img12.deviantart.net/47c6/i/2014/033/f/2/surprise___no_background_by_nebulastar985-d74tm17.png
She's coming for you, Cheeze...
OHMYGOSHOHMYGOSH I LOVE YOU DISNEY FANATIC OHMYGOSHOHMYGOSH! SQUEEE! I was shouting yes yes yes while reading the end. My brother then asked me if I needed to see a doctor. Then...*pomf* Hi OneFluzzyPuppy's brother Discordfan speaking.She, uh, fainted from sheer cheesiepie-ness. Yeah. Thanks. *OneFluzzyPuppy wakes up* Hey, sis, where's the discord emoticon? OneFluzzyPuppy replies: There's not one. Discordfan: are you frickin kidding me!? OneFluzzyPuppy : well that's all. Bye! I actually believe it is impossible not to have Cheese pie fanfic on hand in you stories. And no little brother, I'm not planning on leaving the fandom.
Uh, no. He was adorable by my standards. Dose glasses.
Heh. That was my headcanon.
Yeah. Because it's impossible not to do that.
I guess TOWPPK sorta calls foul on the fact that Pinks would be able to keep that secret, but that episode is almost brand new, so it truly doesn't matter. Pinkie's awful at keeping secrets.
OH MY GOD THAT WAS AMAZING!!!!!! THIS IS WHY I LOVE THESE STORIES!!
Cherry assuming that her mother was a serial killer brings a bad memory. Let's just hope Apple Bloom's children don't find out.
At the beggining of this, I was so confused, but my brain exploded when I connected the dots myself.
I so saw it coming! The color and the appearance added up! And I was beginning to think, why did she invent an Oc when she could've married cheese sandwich!
I'm getting a headache from reading so much I better stop it hurts!
5890159 Surprise was the surprise cameo! It's a pun! XD
Hey, D.F in what order were the Tri-Pies born? I don't think you've really touched on that. And do you wanna know something freaky? The Tri-Pies are exactly like my triplet friends when I was in Jr. High! :D
7567770 I always saw Blueberry as the oldest and Raspberry the youngest.
I forgot abt the rest, and only remembered the tri pies!
I have to be honest. I'm very disappointed. Red Shoes was such a clever OC and I loved the idea of Pinkie Pie marrying a party magician. Sure I intensely ship CheesePie too, but I still liked Red Shoes. if you wanted to ship Cheese and Pinkie, fine. But to go out of your way to retcon it into your BoD series just does not feel like good writing to me.
YES YES YES YES YES YES YES
YES EVERYTHING
EXCEPT NON STORK
Or am I?
I've always wondered why she didn't choose cheese sandwich as pinkies husband I am not even finished reading but I have a feeling it is cheese sandwich (nickname grilled cheese)
How to make someone like your ship 101
Step 1
Create complex
storyline with
heart filled
ending
Step 2
I don't
wanna
tell you
This whole thing was amazing! Maybe even my favorite chapter yet! I recognized Surprise from her description the moment she appeared, so I was pretty excited when I was right. The humor goes so well in this chapter; I swear I died laughing multiple times, especially at the part with Red Shoes marrying Surprise.
It was also cool how it focused on just one of the TriPies, especially Blueberry, who I already relate with less than her sisters, and therefore favor her less. A chapter about her was just what this story needed 
I ship CheesePie too, and after that line from DoD "My real name is..." "GASP CHEESY" *Scared horse noises*"oh no wait CHOOSY!!!" I already had my suspicions... 
Anyways this is long so lemme just say: I love this chapter with all my horse heart and keep up the good work.
Brohoof /)
Little late, Pinks. Little late.
U gotta be kidding me
I nearly threw my tablet at the wall thankfully I resisted