That Sunlit Glow

by Tiger|Pony

Chapter 6: Amidst Scattered Diamonds

There was a time when Rainbow Dash had thought nothing about barrelling into Fluttershy's room without feeling the need to knock, or apologise, or to bother with the fine details of braking or landing. Rearranging the sock drawer opposite the window had become second nature, so often had it been emptied all over her enthusiastic marefriend. She did it without argument or fuss - after all, she didn't even use the socks very often, except in winter when she distributed them to all the hibernating animals who needed them, and it was good to be reminded they were there - but in truth, it had started to bother her a little.

Even filtered through her natural shyness and reticence, and in spite of her best attempts to accept it as just a quirk, Fluttershy's irritation must have crept through in her speech or her manner at some point. At first, she'd started trying to brake, but the impact with the window threw her balance off enough that a proper landing was all-but impossible. So at some point in the last six months - she couldn't remember quite when - Rainbow Dash had started to knock at her window.

And so, smiling at her small victory, she had started letting her in herself. Dash had waited patiently, and if she'd resented it, then she'd kept that feeling very much to herself. Of course Fluttershy was afraid her marefriend would be secretly annoyed with her, but she didn't seem to be...

And then, one rainy November night, she got out of bed to open the latch with a gentle hoof, and the face that hovered outside was frozen cold and miserable. Its mane was plastered down over one eye, and the other was downcast. It shivered, and its teeth chattered in its downturned mouth.

She paused in shock, hoof halfway to the window. She'd made her wait, out in the rain and solitude. That magnificent mare, who could have soared out through the clouds and slept atop them if she wanted, and woken up the next morning dry and refreshed, with the sun to warm her and little more than cloud-top dew to shake out of her mane - she, Fluttershy, had made that beautiful, wonderful pony wait in the rain just to keep her socks in order.

And she didn't even use them very often.

Sometimes, in amongst all the arguments they'd been having recently, Rainbow Dash had asked her why she never told her what she wanted. Whether it was what to do when they had a day to spend together, or what gift she wanted for her birthday, or flavours or colours or anything of her own preferences, she only ever said what she didn't want. And for some reason, she couldn't understand that; as if everypony should just say what they want all the time; as if there was no place in the world for quiet ponies, who were happy to do what their marefriends wanted, and who didn't want to cause anypony a fuss.

Every time Dash asked what she wanted, Fluttershy thought back to the window, and how she had ruined Rarity's fashion show with her loud-mouthed critique, and how she'd ruined the Grand Galloping Gala for them all with her obsessive need to be loved. And she kept her mouth shut, or she shrugged, or she gave a tiny little filly's whinny, as if she didn't care. Because if she did, that might upset somepony else, and if there was one thing she could never do, it was upset somepony else.

-----

"Hi," Rainbow Dash said, and Fluttershy's heart broke.

She had opened the window onto Rarity's bedroom with a mixture of trepidation and annoyance. The very last thing Rainbow Dash had said to her was incoherent through her sobbing, but the word "over" was the kind of thing that stood out even through a rain of tears. And ever since she'd reached Rarity's place, sometime just before midnight, the unicorn had been coaxing the truth from her and stoking the fires of her love and her anger, as if to prepare her for this meeting. And now that it had come, not in the form of a screaming confrontation, but in such an ordinary way as this - now, she was disoriented.

"Wh... what do you want?" Fluttershy asked, trying to sound demanding, or assertive, or whatever it was that Rarity said she should sound like.

"I just wanna talk," the hovering pegasus said, quietly.

This was familiar ground. Rarity had warned her about this. She will say she wants to talk, the unicorn had declared, pacing back and forth next to a stack of cheap romance novels borrowed from the library, occasionally flicking through one with her magic. They always says they want to talk. And the next thing you know, their hooves are all over you.

Surely, Fluttershy had responded, surely Rainbow wouldn't hurt her? Rarity had raised a meaningful eyebrow at that, and the pegasus went bright red in reply.

"I just wanna talk," Dash repeated, and she rested a hoof on the window-ledge as if to come in.

Fluttershy stood in her way. There was no way this pony was just going to distract her, with her hooves or anything else. New Fluttershy didn't let herself get pushed around by a bane-of-her-life marefriend whom she adored beyond measurement, beyond words... "You... you can just stay hovering out there, missy," she said, swallowing the tears.

"I..." Rainbow Dash glanced around, noting several pairs of eyes still on her. "You wanna talk out here?"

"I don't want to talk in here."

"We could go someplace else," she suggested hopefully.

"Um... should I go someplace else?" said a voice from underneath the bed. Then it yelped, and a faint wisp of smoke came from the dark space beneath the bed. Fluttershy nodded, and a leaf-green blur shot across the room, further scattering the spilled diamonds, and out of the door.

Once the room was clear, Fluttershy turned back to the window. "You called me a coward," she said, icily.

Dash felt like she'd been slapped, by herself, and only now was the bruise coming up. "You aren't a coward," she said in a whisper.

"You said I loved the animals more than I loved you," she said, a little louder.

Rainbow's heart twisted in her chest, and her eyes dropped. "You don't. I know you don't. You love... differently."

"You told me it was over!" she shouted back in the face of the love of her life.

And Rainbow Dash's wings faltered again, and the cold and distant grey crept back into the edges of her perception. She only fell inches before she caught herself, but by the time she met Fluttershy's eyes again, her own were trembling, full of tears.

"I really hope it isn't."

There was a brief silence between them, punctuated only by the growing noise of Rarity and Applejack's increasingly ludicrous argument at the door of the Boutique. A single tear escaped the corner of Rainbow Dash's trembling eye, and she pawed gently at the windowframe, and at Fluttershy's own hoof resting there. The contact sent a shock through the yellow pegasus, who flinched away from it.

It took everything Rainbow Dash had not to turn tail and run away at that moment; fly right back to Cloudsdale, stay there forever, waste her life on lonely nights; flee everything that might remind her of the mare she had hurt so badly.

It took everything Fluttershy had not to drag her marefriend in by the front legs and hold her until she was happy again, having felt that touch she'd spent only a single day afraid that she would never feel again.

Instead, the two looked into one another's eyes, desperate to somehow bridge the distance of feet that might as well have been a hundred miles.

And Fluttershy broke first.

"Come in, then," she whispered, stepping back from the window and sitting down.

The clouds rolled past outside, showing no signs of abating, as Rainbow Dash drifted gently into the warmth of her unicorn friend's bedroom, and settled on the floor just beneath the window. They sat there for a time, not looking at one another, until the spark of a sentence finally found its way out of her mouth. "Why didn't you tell me you'd told AJ?" she asked.

"I was scared you'd get excited," Fluttershy whispered, half of her hidden behind her mane. "You always get excited. You feel so strongly about... everything."

"You feel it too, don't you?"

"Yes, but I don't want to shout everything I think to everypony I meet."

Dash sighed. That was the heart of it. Maybe I just gotta change.

"You get so angry, Rainbow," Fluttershy continued. "Whenever somepony jokes about Lyra and Bon-Bon, and they really are just really good friends, you fly off the handle."

"It's wrong to talk about ponies behind their backs..." Dash mumbled, laying her ears. If nothing else, she wasn't sure they were just good friends.

"You threw a book at that unicorn, and all he did was snicker!"

"It wasn't even a very good one..." It didn't feel like she could sink much lower than resting her head on her front hooves, but she was trying.

"And what about the Ambassador from Stalliongrad? You could have started a war!"

That had been a terrible night. The Ambassador had wished to pay his respects to the Elements of Harmony, and the Princess had taken the chance to make a cultural evening out of it. Dash had followed Fluttershy and Twilight Sparkle and Rarity around the Princess' art gallery, feigning interest whilst sneaking more hoers d'oeuvres than she had any right to from every passing waiter.

But out in the ballroom, somepony who said he was a friend of Doctor Whooves was getting it in the neck from a rich-looking pale-brown stallion who didn't appreciate his casual flirting. Quite a crowd was gathering, and word travelled fast. Rainbow Dash flapped up above the commotion - let the Royal Guard bite her world-saving flank if they wanted - and once she heard what it was about, descended upon the Stalliongradi aristocrat with an iron will and absolute fury. Right in the middle of the crowd she had ripped into him with the kind of language that turned the Princess' amused smirk into a pained grimace, and had got her seized by the stern-faced protectors of the Castle's peace. She'd almost been thrown out, but for the fact that Celestia understood the sentiment and censured them both equally.

The other stallion, once he'd recovered his balance, had slipped off into the crowd - but not without tipping Dash a wink, and leaving her with the cryptic words, "Maybe later, blue."

"If you can't keep your mouth shut in front of the court of Canterlot..." Fluttershy trailed off.

"I..." I should say I can. That would end this. But the truth is that I don't want to. I want to tell the world. I want to write your name in rainbow letters big enough to eclipse the sun. I want to fly your face on a banner through the skies. Again. You deserve to be known. You deserve to be loved. "I don't see why I should have to," she said the words through gritted teeth. Normally, at this point in the argument, she'd fly off the handle.

But privacy isn't the same as secrecy, Applejack had told her, and if she tried really hard that didn't sound like it was just a word-game. Of course, she had to know which one Fluttershy wanted. "I don't think it's right to hide what you are."

"I don't want to hide it, Rainbow," Fluttershy threw up her hooves in frustration. Did she not listen? "Nopony knows what time I go to bed every night except you, but if they asked I'd tell them. Nopony knows what I like to read, except maybe Twilight Sparkle, but if they asked I'd tell them. It's not-"

"But you'd tell them!" Rainbow Dash cut her off. "I've seen you reading! Out in the meadow, at the café in the marketplace, even on low clouds, I've seen you doing it! You're not ashamed of reading."

"But ponies knowing what I read wouldn't make them gossip and whisper and talk about me behind my back, and look at me when I go into town, and say bad things about me, and silently judge me behind their big, smiling eyes."

"And neither would this!" Dash shouted. She gave her wings a single flap of frustrated energy, which sent scattered diamonds skittering across the floor. "Why do you even care, anyway?"

There was a pause, then, while Fluttershy hung her head and shook with the effort of holding back the tears. From somewhere outside came a flash of magic, and the sound of Applejack yelping in surprise. "I don't know," she said, "I... I remember... we all... were all so nasty... to Zecora..."

"Nopony knew a single thing about Zecora. And you gotta admit, she is pretty weird."

"I... I... I'm pretty weird!" Fluttershy stammered.

"You're the best pony in the world!"

"I'm too shy and I live in a weird little cottage full of animals and I'd rather eat a nice bowl of hot oats than a bouquet of roses and-"

"-and you saved the world with nothing more than kindness! Twice! Doesn't that mean anything to you? Doesn't that get you some credit?"

"Applejack tried to run away because she didn't get first place," Fluttershy said quietly. "She saved the world too."

"We're not talking about Applejack and her stubborn flank."

"I'm still pretty weird."

"So is everypony! C'mon, Fluttershy; everypony you know has gone bug-out crazy sometime or other. Twilight messed with all our heads and gave us all magic poisoning 'cos she was so worried about what Princess Celestia would think of her. I still sneeze cotton candy from that darned magic sometimes!" She tapped a hoof on the floor to punctuate. "Applejack almost worked herself to death just 'cos she didn't want to ask for help. Pinkie Pie... dressed up a whole bunch of things as if they were... ponies..." Rainbow Dash suppressed a shudder at that particularly memory. "Rarity flounced around for days talking about exile just 'cos a fashion show went wrong. Your best friend thought she'd have to run away to Prance or something, just 'cos some wise-flank from Canterlot didn't like her stuff."

Fluttershy listened nervously. At least Dash wasn't shouting anymore.

"C'mon, Fluttershy, think about it. You put on the Mare-Do-Well costume too, didn't you?" The yellow pegasus looked blank. Rainbow Dash rolled her eyes. "Did that make you think I was a crazy pony, and talk about me behind my back, and those other things you said? Did it make anypony do that?"

"Briefly, yes," Fluttershy said, before she could stop herself. "N... not me, I mean, other ponies." Please don't get angry please don't fly away please...

Rainbow Dash flinched. Having retreated to the safety of the clouds for a couple of weeks after that embarrassing incident, she'd avoided the gossip rather than hear it. Hearing it from Fluttershy's mouth still stung, though. "So... what, you're the one pony around who really can't drop a grudge? Is that it?" she said, wounded. "You're the one pony in the entire world who can point to a great big magical doohickey to show off just how kind she is; why can't you be kind enough to yourself to realise what everypony else thinks of you?"

"If everypony already thinks I'm so nice, why do you want so much to tell them how proud you are of me?"

"Because I love you! And that's what lovers do! They're proud!"

Fluttershy didn't even try to blink back the tears from that. It felt like a long time since she'd heard those three little words from her marefriend's mouth. It was like... some months since she'd wondered if she was just a project to Rainbow Dash, as if making her come out in the open was the whole reason they were together.

"Why?" she whispered, on the edge of hearing.

"Because you're beautiful," Dash said, "Inside and out. You keep me warm when I need it. You do stuff you know I'll like, just because I'll like it. You listen to me read stories out for you and you don't laugh when I don't know the words. You make me breakfast and you don't mind leaving me to sleep. You got me Tank, and all the other awesome pets I still get to play with when I visit. You're... the wind beneath my wings. That and that flank, girl! How could you not love that flank?"

Fluttershy felt her moving closer as she spoke, and she wanted the embrace that she knew was coming. She wanted it so badly. But... if everything Dash said were true, then why did it still feel like she was false? Why did it still feel like someday, she and everypony would realise they'd been wrong all this time? And that the more they knew about her, the closer they would get to that black day?

She looked up to see Rainbow Dash wearing a cheeky grin. "That flank, Fluttershy," she repeated in a whisper, her grin an obvious challenge. That's so her.

And in spite of everything, and with nothing solved on paper, Fluttershy felt the corner of her mouth twitch upwards, and she nuzzled the mare who loved her with all the desperate longing of months of worries.

"I was afraid you'd never joke again," she whispered, the tears now flowing freely down her face. Somehow, that was okay right now. They might have been tears, but they were real, and they weren't really sadness - just raw emotion, hot and salty and held back behind dams of fear and mutual incomprehension for months. "How do we make this better?" she asked, and for the first time, she meant it honestly. With that warm mare's tears in her mane, with her leg round her shoulder holding her close, with that sure and certain knowledge that she was the most important thing in the world to her, Fluttershy was the bravest pony in Equestria.

"I... I... dunno," Rainbow Dash choked out, with a wet laugh. "I dunno. Maybe... we just both gotta stop taking this so seriously."

Fluttershy giggled, and nuzzled again at her love's neck. Rainbow Dash gave a smirk and flipped over backwards, dragging her down with her with a little squeak of hilarity.

The two pegasi lay there, on their sides, surrounded by spilled diamonds, for time that didn't matter. One lay a hoof on the other's chest, feeling her breath; the other returned the gesture. One smiled; the other giggled. One ruffled the other's mane; the other stroked gently in reply. One told the other she loved her. The other kissed her back. If there was a world outside, neither noticed. If there was character in their gestures, it was lost in the intimacy of the moment. They weren't two pegasi; they were just two lovers, and two friends, happy to be happy again.

"They're putting on Kitty and the Cat again in Cloudsdale in a month," Rainbow Dash said. "You wanna go and watch it this time?" Fluttershy nodded, smiling sheepishly. "You wanna hold hooves?" Fluttershy gasped and bit her lip... and nodded gently. Her grip tightened a little, but she said she wanted to do it, and she wouldn't go back on her word. Not this time.

"You wanna get married?" Dash said, with her best cheeky grin on. Fluttershy stuck out her tongue.

Outside, the sounds of the fight abated for a moment. Neither noticed. A voice that sounded a lot like Twilight Sparkle was telling the participants off for fighting with each other, reminding them that friends don't fight. Fluttershy looked sheepish. Dash rolled her eyes.

And then Rarity yelled something about her duty to the triumph of love, and sprinted for the shop. The door slammed behind her, and the two pegasi heard the sound of hooves galloping across the shop floor. They sat up just in time for her to fling open the door to her bedroom.

"Sweetie Belle! Where is-"

Rarity stopped mid-word. Her gaze turned from anger to horror and back again as she surveyed the scene. Her clothes-horse toppled, and the gown she'd been working on spread gracelessly under it. Her gems scattered across the floor. Her bedclothes askew. And the mare she'd been trying to protect, sitting on the floor, looking awfully embarrassed... with her marefriend... and a mussed-up mane...

"L... Love has triumphed!" she shouted, mostly to regain some dignity. "And... in my bed!" Her horn began to glow threateningly.

"It's not what it looks like-" Rainbow Dash began. And like every pony since the beginning of time who has ever uttered that sentence in another's bedroom, she quickly found things being thrown at her.

"Get out!" Rarity yelled, flinging tape-measures and bolts of fabric and anything she could lay her eyes on. "You beasts, get out! And take your love with you! All of it!"

Fluttershy looked mortified, and her wings were tight with panic. She was afraid again; so terribly afraid that her friend was angry with her, and for the wrong reasons, too. Rainbow Dash ducked out of the way of a small tomato-shaped pincushion and took Fluttershy's hoof in hers, just as a thrown pillow hit them both. "We gotta go!" she yelled, "We can explain later!"

And when Fluttershy met her eye with a look that said I can't; I've let her down; I deserve her anger, she did the only thing that made any sense, and kissed her so hard her wings flared. Fluttershy shook her head and gave a small, shy whinny, before Dash all-but bucked her out of the window.

A second later Dash followed on, but not before yelling "Thanks for all your help!" to the furious unicorn in the doorway. Rarity screamed in anguish and pawed the ground, furious enough to charge. But the pegasi were gone, and she felt so dirty, and she had to do something really angry-

"Why're you throwing things, Rarity?" a small voice came from just beneath her right shoulder. Sweetie Belle was almost her normal colour again, though her mane was buttercup yellow with vivid orange highlights. Reassuring though it might have been to have found her little sister, the filly's presence watching the scene posed bigger questions. "And why did Rainbow Dash kiss Fluttershy?" she said, answering one of them.

...

Speechless. Utterly, completely, and in all particulars speechless, lost for any rational response, Rarity took the option that didn't involve burning down the Boutique, and fainted dead to the floor.

Comments

[Rainbow87dash]

LOL