The Thing That Lurkes Everfree Forest

by The Keeper Of Tales

Chapter 1: This Is Our Chance!

Over the past couple weeks, some very strange events have been accruing threw out Ponyville. Young fillies are mysteriously disappearing, without a trace, and no pony has heads or tails of who, or what is causing this. Most of the Ponyville's citizens have not left there homes in days. Parents cling to there children, protection them with there lives, not wanting them to become another victim of the alleged fillynapper. The lucky children who haven't been taken yet, stopped going to school, and adult ponies didn't want to go out, or return to work, no matter how perfect the day was. But reports have been released, that there have been multiple sightings of a mysterious looking creature lurking threw the Everfree forest, and the creature has been seen with the stolen fillies.

After receiving the news, even the all mighty princess Celestia began to act. Only a few days ago, she began sending squadrons of her most elite, high ranking guards down to Ponyville, every single day. These guards were tasked to patrol and guard the innards and outskirts of the Everfree forest, in hopes to catch the criminal. But after everyday, the guards would return with no luck what so ever.

The town itself stayed quiet, and no one spoke a word, except for three choice fillies, who sat in there tree house by Sweet Apple Acres, trying to think of what to do for the day. Apple Bloom sat in the corner of the room, her hoof in chin, trying to get an idea for the CMC's next adventure. Sweetie Bell lade on her back, hoofs behind her head, staring up at the wooden roof above her, bored out of belief. Scootaloo sat quietly in the center of the room, trying to center her train of thought.

Apple Bloom finally broke the silence. "Well that's that, ma' brains pooped, I just cant think of anything for us to do today".

Sweetie Bell then chimed in, "Yea, and with all are friends disappearing out of no where, I'm just too down to think of anything".

"Well look on the bright side", Apple Bloom said, "At least Diamond Tiara's gone, so that makes are lives a whole lot less annoying".

"Yea, I guess", Sweetie Bell responded, a frown coming across her face.

Scootaloo finally jumped into the conversation, "OH GIVE ME A BRAKE"! she yelled. "I cant believe you guys haven't even thought of it yet".Her two friends shot her a confused glance.

"Thought of what?" Sweetie asked.

"UUUHHGG", Scootaloo groaned. "I cant believe you guys haven't even thought about that creature every ponies talking about, that thing that's taking all are friends".

"What do you mean?" Apple Bloom asked.

"Just think about it", Scootaloo said. "Imagine, the three of us go into the Everfree forest, and catch this fillynapper every ponies talking about. WE WOULD BE HEROS! And we would get are cutie marks then for shore".

Sweetie Bell fell head over heals for the idea Scootaloo had thought up of.

"THAT SOUNDS GREAT!" Sweetie yelled. The thought of being a hero and earning there cutie marks at the same time would be an amazing experience. But Apple Bloom was not as excited about the idea.

Scootaloo saw the worry in her face, "What's the matter Apple Bloom?" she asked.

"Well... I just don't know if this is the smartest of ideas, that's all". Apple Bloom said.

"What do you mean?" Sweetie Bell asked, by this point Sweetie was completely hooked to the idea.

Apple Bloom continued, "Well I know saving the town and getting are cutie marks would be an amazing thing, but it just seems so, dangerous".

Scootaloo let out a laugh, "HAHA don't be silly Apple Bloom, what could possibly go wrong?"

Apple Bloom still wasn't completely convinced, "What if we get lost or somethin', what if we become one of those fillies who gets takin' away by that creature thing?"

Scootaloo let out another laugh, harder this time, "HAHAHA come on Apple Bloom, no stupid fillynapper is going to be able to withstand are pure awesomeness".

Apple Bloom couldn't help but chuckle at the sentence, and her mind was beginning to change about the whole idea. She raised her head high, and said "All right then, LETS DO IT"!

"YAY" Sweetie Bell yelled.

Scootaloo then joined in, "All right girls, tomorrow we will meat back here, same time , and get ready to finally earn our cutie marks".

The three fillies, Sweetie Bell, Apple Bloom, and Scootaloo all left the tree house only moments later, and decided not to speak of there master plan to save all of ponyville to any pony. As they all returned home, the thoughts of being true hero's raced threw there minds. The thought of being carried threw the streets by every pony was simply amazing. They could see it now, they could see all the little fillies, returning home finally, reuniting with there families for the first time In weeks. But there was still one more thing lingering in there mind, how will they exactly defeat this creature, and what was this creature in the first place? Could it be a ghost, a monster, or maybe just another pony? But for now, these answers would have to wait.

It was settled, the CMC would soon embark on what would have to be one of the most vigorous journeys of there life's. For tomorrow, they would conjure up a plan on how to achieve there goal. Will they earn there cutie marks? Will they save all the lost fillies? Will they encounter, the thing that lurks Everfree Forest???

To Be Continued.....

Author's Note:

Well this is my first horror/MLP related fan fic. I was really craving to do a Slender Man related story as well. He is on my top 10 urban legends list, and is my #1 favorite ceepypasta monster, right next to Jeff The Killer. I hope you guys enjoy this one, and remember, I NEED YOUR FEED BACK!!! I want to make my stories as good as possible for you guys, and I cant do that with out your help!

Comments

[LunaUsesCaps]

Chapter 1: This Is Are Chance! · 23rd Nov 2013

Is Are Chance

Are

[The Keeper Of Tales]

well I am the biggest idiot I know, cant believe I made that mistake, in my chapter title too :(

[Lord Sunder]

Ponyville is in a state of crisis. Little fillies are being fillynapped left and right, taken from there homes and families with out a trace.

There is a difference between 'there' and 'their'. I suggest you learn it. You used the wrong one here, and do so repeatedly.

No pony has heads or tails as to who, or what is causing this, but reports state that a mysterious looking creature has been seen lurking threw the Everfree forest with the stolen fillies.

So Slendy picked up the Everfree and threw it into his magic bag of holding? Unless you meant 'through', which still doesn't make sense because one does not lurk 'through' things, they lurk 'in' them. Try 'skulking through'.

The Cutie Mark Crusaders take this as an opportunity to catch this fillynapper, save all the lost fillies, and finally earn there cutie marks. Will they achieve there goal, or will they become another victim to the thing that lurks (in the?) Everfree forest??

More 'there vs their' problems, and you're missing words as well. Why does it seem like this story was rushed out the door with barely a second spent on the story summary? I'm not overly interested in Slenderman fics, just noticed the obvious spelling errors in the short description and thought I'd point them out. From a skim read, though, I'd say you really need to work on those homophones. Words that sound the same can mean different things! This is an important thing to note, if you want to sound at all competent!

One more thing... it's kinda a waste to try to write a story with suspense about a monster (calling it a 'Thing', etc) when you include a cover image of Slendermane. The best way to include a fanon creation like Slendermane in a story, is when you read it and only realise hours later that the horrifying creature that watched them in the basement was actually a caricature of Jeff the Killer the entire time, etc.

[The Keeper Of Tales]

Thank you for the feed back lord sunder, to be honest I was just kind of wanting to post the story as quickly as possible and didn't bother to spell check nearly enough. I promise next chapter will have less issues.