Chapter 3: The Mulligan
Sweet Apple Acres.
Four months after The Hole.
Far Travel once again lamented the irony of her name as she climbed the 1,237th stair up the tree. Sure, she'd traveled around the world multiple times, and couldn't really imagine a life stuck in one place, but her name also seemed to result in her getting picked for the less exciting types of travel as well. When the team in Saddle Arabia had been asked to send a representative to report their findings, all heads had immediately turned to Far Travel. She didn't want to go. Unraveling the mysteries of the obelisk was much more exciting than a week-long journey back to Equestria just to answer some royal questions. "But traveling is your special talent!" the others had argued, even though they wouldn't doubt that she contributed just as much research acumen to the team as any other pony on it. Officially, of course, it came down to seniority, but she really doubted she'd be huffing her way up this impossibly tall tree if she'd been named "Mystery Solved" or "Relic Hunter."
And why was she being sent out here anyway? Originally, she'd returned and gone directly to Canterlot. She'd met with the Queen and Princess Luna the next morning and, as she'd wrapped up her report, assumed she'd be headed to port for the next boat back to Saddle Arabia and the dig site. Instead, the Queen had ordered her to take her findings and report to the Cutie Mark Crusaders, charging them as her personal agents in all matters related to the obelisk. Far Travel knew, of course, that the three young ponies had been the ones to discover the obelisk in the first place, and she'd heard of some of their more public exploits—as had anypony that read a paper in the past decade. Still though, she didn't understand how stumbling into a trap qualified them in any way to interpret and judge her expedition's research. The Queen had been insistent, if a bit cryptic. "You may find yourself quite surprised once you discover just what those three young mares are capable of."
Finally reaching the top of the staircase, Far Travel took a brief moment to compose herself, pushing a loose strand of long red hair out of her face before knocking. She heard the sound of hooves behind the door before it swung open, revealing a yellow-coated mare with a similar red mane held back by a small bow. "Howdy!"
"Umm, yes. Hello. My name is Far Travel, and Queen Celestia has asked me—"
She was cut off as the pony before her turned and yelled over her shoulder. "Hey ya'll! It's that unicorn from the dig Celestia said was comin'!"
"Well, let her in," a softer voice said from somewhere inside.
"Oh, right. Mah bad." The pony opened the door wide and motioned for her to step inside. "Mah name's Apple Bloom, and these are my friends Sweetie Belle and Scootaloo," she said, pointing in turn to a white unicorn and orange pegasus.
"Nice to meet you," Sweetie Belle said, followed by a clipped "Hi," from Scootaloo.
"Please, have a seat," Sweetie added, motioning to an empty cushion beside the large table in the center of the room.
Taking her seat, Far Travel surveyed the room. It was well built, but very spartan. It felt like a cross between a ranger station and children's club house. The table in front of her was covered in a seemingly random assortment of maps, charts, and innumerable papers. Glancing closer at one of the papers near her seat, she realized it was actually one of the reports her team had sent to the Queen. Perhaps these three really were involved in some way.
"So," Sweetie Belle began, taking the lead. "As you can see, we've been keeping up with your team's reports, but Celestia said you've found some more definitive answers recently?"
Far Travel craned her neck to rummage through her saddle bags, pulling several large stacks of papers out with her magic and putting them on the table. "That's the bulk of the research and theories involved so far."
Scootaloo leafed through the edge of one stack, giving a soft whistle. "That's a lot of reading."
"Yes, well," Far Travel said, still uncertain why she was answering to three young mares. "The executive summary is that we've determined that it should be possible to send coherent spells through the artifact, as Princess Twilight originally suggested."
"Actually," Scootaloo said. "That was Sweetie's idea. Twilight was about to destroy the thing and Sweetie stopped her."
"Really? The paper I was sent as part of the original instigation of the team was from the Princess herself."
"Don't worry about it," Sweetie said. "I really just had a vague idea about using them as a conduit at first. Twilight's the one that helped me refine it before we took it to Celestia and asked for investigation."
Far Travel nodded politely, trying to remember the details of that paper. There had been other attributions on it, but she'd forgotten them quickly after the curiosity about the main concept had taken her.
"So," Sweetie continued. "That's great then! If we can actually maintain coherency, then we've got a real shot at this."
Scootaloo raised a hoof. "Sorry, question from a non-unicorn here. Remind me why 'coherent' is important? I thought the plan was just to blast magic through the thing to hit the Hole from the inside."
Smiling, Sweetie Belle answered. "Right now, the obelisk just sucks in all magic, right?" Scootaloo nodded. "Well, it's not exactly elegant about it. It basically mixes it up a lot in the process. Think turbulence in an airflow. When it comes out the other end, it's just raw energy, not an actual spell."
Scootaloo's eyes widened as the analogy connected. "Oh, gotcha. But if you can get an intact, coherent spell through it, then it can actually do something on the other end. Attack or hurt Nemesis in some way, right?"
"Exactly!"
"Unfortunately, it's not that simple," Far Travel amended. "The distance to the Hole means the magic starts to decohere naturally anyway. Additionally, interference from other channeling artifacts seems to effectively wash out the signal as well. Again, like Princess Twilight suspected."
"So?" Apple Bloom said. "We guessed that already. We just gotta get a bunch of 'em together, set 'em up in proper phase with each other, and boost the signal that way."
Far Travel smiled. Perhaps these three young mares really did understand the problem. She continued, "That's where I have some good news and some bad news. We—or rather, other teams that the Crown sent to search—may have located another two artifacts. That's the good news."
"Dare I ask about the bad?" Sweetie said.
"First—"
"Of course the bad news is multi-part," Scootaloo said, rolling her eyes.
"First," Far Travel continued, shooting an annoyed glare at the pegasus. "The scrying teams believe one may be buried beneath a remote glacier, roughly a few hundred miles north of the Crystal Empire."
"That's in the old Northern Kingdoms, isn't it?" Sweetie Belle asked.
"Almost exactly in the center of it, which makes us think—"
"That it can't possibly be a coincidence," Sweetie finished the thought.
Scootaloo's hoof was in the air again, causing both her friends to look at her with expressions that effectively asked, "Really?"
"What?" Scootaloo said. "History is boring."
"Yeah, until it tries to kill ya." Apple Bloom muttered, flexing her hooves against the dull aches that still lingered from the injuries she'd inflicted on herself to escape.
"Come on, Scoots," Sweetie said. "I know you remember this. The old war between the griffin and caribou? The vanished capital? The disputed territory? Celestia establishing the Crystal Empire as a buffer between the two?"
"Oh, those Northern Kingdoms," Scootaloo said, faking understanding. "Why's that bad again?"
Sweetie Belle sighed, but resisted the urge to actually bang her head on the table. Scootaloo's "selective intelligence" was always a bit trying, but she soldiered on anyway. "The caribou and griffins fought for something like a thousand years over what, to all outside observers, seemed to be just an empty region of lifeless ice and rock, until Celestia stepped in and built the Crystal Empire to force the two apart. Now we're discovering there's an ancient evil artifact right in the middle of that 'empty' region. See how that might be bad?"
"Okay, okay, I get it now."
"You said they found two?" Apple Bloom said, turning back to Far Travel.
"Yes," Far Travel continued. "The other was pinpointed to within a few miles of a jungle river south of the Zebralands."
"But that's good, ain't it?" Apple Bloom asked. "We're close allies with the Zebras."
"The bad news is the past tense. When the team finally got to the location, they found an ancient temple, that, despite cultural and architectural differences, was very similar to the one in Saddle Arabia. But where the obelisk should've been was an empty hole. All around it were signs of recent excavation."
"Somepony stole it?" Scootaloo said, astonished.
"It looks that way. The team's next attempts at locating it indicated it likely went down river, but no vessel large enough ever turned up at the coastal port where the river ends. All attempts to pinpoint the artifact since have failed."
All the ponies around the table were silent a moment while the full implications set in. It wasn't just going to be traps and ancient spells fighting for Nemesis. Somepony or group out there was actively working against them it seemed.
"As you can imagine," Far Travel continued. "We're now rather concerned about the security of the known obelisk. Ideally, we'd like to bring it back to Equestria, both for protection, and so it can be more easily studied. Additionally, if and when we recover more artifacts, we'll need to move them to some central location anyway, in order to try using them in a phased array."
"Sounds like a good idea," Apple Bloom concurred. "I take it there's some kinda problem though?"
Far Travel nodded. "The sand around the artifact is extremely unstable. Normally that wouldn't be an issue; a few trained unicorns could easily hold the sand back while the object was lifted. Of course, magic use anywhere near this particular object is impossible though."
"Don't have to remind us of that," Scootaloo said, unconsciously flexing her recently healed wing.
"Sorry," Far Travel said. "I forget that must've been a rather horrible experience for you all."
Apple Bloom's mind went back to the dull pain in her forehooves. They'd taken the brunt of the damage on her climb out. The Hole's influence meant she'd been unable to heal herself rapidly like she would have before. She never regretted—even for a second—her painful choice of escape method, but the lingering pains were a constant reminder of just how close they'd come to death yet again. This unicorn didn't know the half of it. "We lived, that's what counts."
Far Travel continued, "We brought in several earth ponies experienced with mining and similar professions, but none had dealt with loose sand like that before. Every attempt to excavate and remove it with purely mundane efforts has failed so far. The sand just fills back in or collapses before we can free it. At this point, we're out of ideas. The Queen seemed to think you might be able to help with that."
"Hmm..." Sweetie Belle pondered the problem. "So you need to move a lot of sand rapidly, before it can slough back in, and do it without any use of magic?"
"Essentially, yes."
"Oh!" Scootaloo raised her hoof out of habit. "What if you just blow it up? Plant a bomb down there, it'd blast a ton of sand out almost instantly!"
"I fear explosives may damage the artifact."
"Oh, right. Gotta keep it intact. Hmm..." The pegasus tapped a hoof on the table for a moment before jumping again. "The Tea Kettles!"
"What?" Far Travel asked.
"Get a couple of the mark three Kettles around the edge and just start blasting."
"Ya know..." Apple Bloom lifted her head in thought. "That might work, but again, I think ya might end up damagin' the artifact with all that sand blasting around inside the well."
"Yeah, you're right," Scootaloo agreed, sitting back down. "Even the mark one was eating through the backstop in those early tests, and that was without anything more than ambient dust."
Far Travel now found herself completely out of the loop, and getting frustrated. She was about to ask what a tea kettle had to do with excavation when Apple Bloom spoke up again.
"I know who can help. Sky Chaser!"
"I was just thinking the same thing," Sweetie Belle said. "I'm sure he can find a few students that wouldn't mind a field trip to Saddle Arabia."
"Oh yeah," Scootaloo said. "That's probably a much safer option."
Far Travel looked around, now more confused than ever. "Who's Sky Chaser?"
Apple Bloom smiled. "An old friend of mine. He's been livin' up in Cloudsdale for the past few years, though..." She remembered that Cloudsdale had been evacuated, and what remained of the pegasi city was now disintegrating in a field outside the capital. "Well, I guess he's in Canterlot for the time bein'. That's where you're stayin', right?"
"Umm, yes." Far Travel said, uncertain where this was going. "The Queen was gracious enough to provide accommodations at the castle."
"Perfect! That's where I usually crash in Canterlot. I got a sneaky feelin' Sky Chaser's gonna be in the castle somewhere too, if I know him."
"You 'usually crash' at the castle?" Far Travel wasn't sure what to think of these ponies who apparently treated the capital of the entire Equestrian nation as their personal hosteling arrangements.
"Well," Apple Bloom said. "I mean ah sleep there. Not like, actually crash, crash."
"Yeah," Scootaloo laughed. "We leave that to Rainbow Dash and Applejack."
Apple Bloom chuckled at the joke before moving to glance out a window. "I figure we got plenty of light left, so no reason we can't head out now. 'Less ya had somethin' else to do in Ponyville first?"
"Well, no. My only business here was with you," Far Travel said, still confused.
Apple Bloom turned to her friends. "And I'm guessin' you two ain't feelin' an overnighter in Canterlot?"
"I'd actually like to go over these field notes Far Travel brought," Sweetie Belle said, turning through the papers on the table.
"I'm coaching the Crusader flight camp in the morning," Scootaloo said. "So unless you really need to me to come, I'd rather not have to wake up that early to fly back."
"No worries," Apple Bloom said. "Ya don't mind me takin' the Walrus, do ya Sweetie?"
"No, that's fine. I thought I might hang out with Rarity tonight, but I don't mind the walk to town."
"Cool." Apple Bloom darted to a side room, and returned a moment later with a pair of saddle bags. "Ready to go?" she asked Far Travel, as she walked toward the back porch.
"Aren't the stairs that way?" Far Travel asked, pointing toward the front door.
"Yeah, but the Lumbering Walrus is moored off the back deck."
Far Travel looked through the doors as Apple Bloom opened them, and her jaw dropped. "You have your own airship?"
"Eeyup," Apple Bloom said, as she dropped her bags on the longboat-sized deck of the ship. "It ain't purty, and it ain't that fast, but sure beats hoofin' it all the way to Canterlot."
Far Travel came to a stop on the porch and stared up in awe. The balloon portion appeared to be a natural canvas color, slightly yellowed from sun and age. It was a pointed cylinder, maybe sixty feet long, and fifteen in diameter. On it were painted crudely stenciled versions of the three Crusader's cutie marks. Slung beneath it with ropes was a wooden deck, about fifteen feet long and six or so wide, that wouldn't look out of place on a nautical boat, though there was only a foot or two of hull beneath it, presumably to save weight. At the rear was a propeller attached to some sort of metal engine, which Apple Bloom was currently filling with a hose connected to a barrel mounted on the railing of the porch.
"Don't worry," Apple Bloom said. "It's just water for the steam. Ain't flammable or nothin'." When the tank was full, she hung up the hose, and began untying the ropes that held the gondola to the porch. The deck of the craft slipped free and rose a few inches up against the loosened ropes. "Nope, still a tad light. Gimme a minute."
Far Travel watched as the young mare moved to the front of the craft and began filling some apparently below-deck tank with what looked like more water.
"Okay, that looks about right," Apple Bloom said, noting the relative slack in the mooring ropes as the deck sunk back level with the porch. She untied the ropes, then pushed the ship gently away from the porch with a hoof. The airship drifted easily outward from the tree as Apple Bloom went to the engine and twisted a small valve-like wheel.
"It'll take a minute to heat up," Apple Bloom said. "But the breeze is goin' the right way, so might as well drift while we wait."
Far Travel just looked around in shock. This morning, she'd been rather perturbed that Queen Celestia had ordered her to take her findings to three young mares she'd though of as just newspaper novelties. But these Cutie Mark Crusaders apparently had the resources to maintain a castle-like headquarters at the top of thousand foot tree, free reign of the castle—at least enough to presume upon it for lodgings—and their own airship.
"Where did you get an airship?" Far Travel finally asked.
"Ah built it," Apple Bloom said. "Well, technically all three of us did. But it was mostly my project. The Walrus is slow, but it's all that's left. Scoots crashed the last of the big aeroplanes during the attacks, and the really fast stuff... well, it don't hold up so well without magic."
Far Travel shook her head and rubbed her eyes, overwhelmed with all the jargon that'd been soaring just over her head since she arrived at the infernal tree. "I give up," she said. "The Queen told me I'd be surprised at you three, but I'm not just surprised, I'm lost."
Apple Bloom was silent for a moment, unsure how to respond. "I'm sorry," she finally said. "We weren't tryin' to be difficult, I promise. What's confusin' ya?"
"Well—"
"Hold that thought," Apple Bloom said, noting the steam starting to pour from the vent on the engine. "Just one second, promise."
That was it, Far Travel thought. This was just ridiculous. She was supposed to deliver academic reports on an ancient magic artifact, and somehow she'd been shanghaied onto an airship, and wasn't quite sure how.
Apple Bloom closed the vent, and adjusted another valve, before leaning out and giving the propeller a good, swift spin. It caught, and the engine began to putter along, with small puffs of steam emitting from some lower exhaust on the engine. She twisted the throttle, and the propeller picked up speed and started pushing the ship forward.
"Okay," Apple Bloom said. "Sorry about that. We're on our way now though, so what was it ya were sayin'?"
"I was just saying that I have absolutely no idea what's been going on for the past ten minutes. One moment, we're talking about excavating and locating the artifacts, next thing I know, you're all talking about tea kettles! What does a tea kettle possibly have to do with excavation?"
"Well, it's not actually a—"
"And how in the world is this pegasus friend of yours going to help dig it out?"
"Well, Sky Chaser's not actually a—"
"And how in the unholy depths of tartarus does some young mare like you, barely out of schooling in some hickville town, have her own airship, get away with calling the Queen by her given name, and presume to simply 'crash' at Canterlot castle without so much as a letter of notice?"
Apple Bloom was caught completely off guard by the outburst of vitriol. She clenched her jaw as her nostrils flared. The rest of her body was unmoving, the only sign of change two spots of now-decaying wood growing in size beneath her forehooves. She fixed Far Travel with a stare that needed no translation. It quite clearly said, "You have three point seven seconds to make this okay, or something very interesting is going to happen."
To her credit, Far Travel's forehooves both clamped over her muzzle almost instantly, her own mind astonished at her outburst. "I'm so sorry! I didn't mean that, I swear!"
Apple Bloom continued to stare, though the decay stopped growing.
"I... I'm sorry," Far Travel continued. "I've been awake for three days I think, and I just can't take any more surprises. Please, forgive me?"
Closing her eyes, Apple Bloom took a couple of deep breathes, then sighed. She'd been there herself, plenty of times. Sometimes there were just days where you snapped. "It's okay," she finally said. "Everypony gets one mulligan. But don't talk of presumption. You don't know me, or Celestia for that matter."
"I'm sorry," Far Travel said, her eyes still wide with fear and guilt. "I just... I..."
"Ya think 'cause I talk all country-like, that I'm some bumpkin from 'hickville' and shouldn't be included when dealing with important stuff like the artifacts."
"Well, I didn't say—"
"Miss Far Travel," Apple Bloom said, shifting her accent to the erudite Manehatten that she'd picked up over the years, both from Rarity and visiting her cousin Babs. "I am perfectly capable of conversing in a tone you might consider refined and dignified. The fact that I do not normally do so is because I am not, as a rule, embarrassed about where I come from, or the ponies I associate with. I am, at heart, an earth pony from the country, and I speak as I am most comfortable. It is your fault, and no other, if you allow such a simple thing as dialect to influence your opinion of a pony's intelligence or worth."
"I really didn't mean to—"
"I'm not finished," Apple Bloom said, stamping a hoof with a firm, but not obnoxious, gesture. "You asked how I presume to call Celestia by her given name? That one is simple. She has asked me to do so. Queen Celestia is one of the wisest, kindest, and most loving ponies I have ever met. I am honored and humbled beyond measure to have her consider me a friend, and in turn, I would not deny that friendship for the world. I call her 'Celestia' because I sincerely believe that she wishes me to do so—that she wishes me to behave as her friend, not her subject, because she has so many of the latter, and so few of the former. But do not think for a second that lessens my devotion or loyalty. I would gladly die for Queen Celestia. Not because she is Queen, but because she is my friend, and because I believe with all my heart that whatever path she has committed herself, her life, or the entire nation to, is absolutely worth the sacrifice."
Far Travel opened her mouth to speak, but closed it when Apple Bloom held up a hoof for silence.
"Lastly," Apple Bloom continued. "You asked how I come to be in possession of my own airship. As I said, I built it myself, with help from my friends. Perhaps that is insufficient though. If so, you should know I didn't just build it; I designed it. I don't mean just the paint, or some minor tweaks, but from the ground up. The integrated water ballast tanks? My design. The two-axis rudder? My design. The damn engine itself, too. Mine. It runs on Equium. Perhaps you've heard of that? It was discovered by Sweetie Belle, who you just met. Pretty much every train and other steam engine in Equestria runs on it these days. I built the first one though, when I was still in that 'hickville' school."
Far Travel didn't know what to think, much less say. The claims were, generally speaking, outrageous. Yet the tone of this young mare left little-to-no room for doubt. And hadn't the Queen herself sent her here? She'd made a horrible mistake in her assumptions, and she knew it. There was nothing left but to apologize, both often and profusely. "I'm sorry! I really am!"
"I know," Apple Bloom said. "You didn't really know who you were talking to, or what the real situation was before. You were thrown out of your comfort zone and you reacted instinctually, rather than logically. That's why you get the mulligan."
"Thank you," Far Travel said.
"But know that the lecture you just got is why you don't get a second. You no longer have any excuse for ignorance, or for acting like an ass."
Nodding, Far Travel said only, "Understood."
"What do you say we start over then?"
"Umm, yes please?"
"Howdy!" Apple Bloom said, smiling and extending a hoof as she switched back to her normal accent. "Mah name's Apple Bloom!"
"Pleased to meet you?" Far Travel said, somewhat timid after the sudden change in both accent and attitude.
"You too, miss. Now, I think ya were wonderin' just what Sky Chaser could offer, and what in the world Tea Kettles had to do with excavatin' in the sand. Curiously enough, the history of the two are pretty well tangled."
"I can't say I'm surprised," Far Travel said, putting on a smile.
Apple Bloom smiled in return, as she leaned into the tiller a bit to compensate for a slight crosswind. "I reckon we've got a bit o' time until we reach Canterlot, so the first thing ya should know, the Kettles we were talkin' about ain't the normal kitchen implements yer probably thinkin' of. They're actually a larger version of a device my friend Scootaloo originally called the 'Tea Pot'...
I love these tales and tidbits of the crusaders' exploits. You aren't telling the full story most of the time, but it really feels like it is all there underneath.
Woot, nice chapter!
To be honest, I think this fic is much worse that your previous one. And everytime I see the word queen I just get thrown completely out of the story.
Woohoo, new chapter! I almost thought, that every unfinished story I put on my favourites list is immediately no longer updated.
Great story so far (not so great as the first one, but well - it gets better from chapter to chapter, so...), keep up the good work :)
(It's the only Apple Bloom Smiley, how sad)
But I loved it, AB put the smack down on that uppity Book Worm, and was still far more gracious than she needed to be whilst doing so!
And AB slipping in to a Manehatten accent was AWESOME! Being originally from Trotchester my self I am tickled to hear about it.
But back to the story supposition: Ok, who moved/stole the magic stealing tower? My guess is of course, is the wacko maniacs that would follow a super-powerful nut job villain bent on world destruction. What these imbeciles believe they have to gain would not make sense to a sane pony no matter what the explanation was, so no need to try and explain it.
We have seen heavy machinery in episodes of MLP:FIM so it would stand to reason they could use HM and magic to move the towers. I would suggest the Big Dig as a reference. Freeze the ground magically or with refrigeration, it actually made the Big Dig easier to do, so the same could work for the ponies.
The Crusader's dialogue is just perfect! I love how they reference past Crusades and how they help out one another. You've done well aging them up from little fillies to near-adults.
I'd like to know what happened to Diamond Tiara and Silver Spoon during this time lapse. I personally believe that they could reject their bullying ways and be nice ponies as adults(especially Silver Spoon, since it seems that Diamond is the headrunner of that duo).
It really feels like you've spent the time writing out every single event that could've happened between from between the end of the last fic and this one. The ponies in this fic reference past events so smoothly!
I'm still sort of iffy on the whole Queen Celestia thing and the DiscordxFluttershy thing. I still feel kinda bad that she's no longer a 100% pegasus pony anymore. I don't think your first chapter was the greatest to start out with, but I'm willing to read forward from that and I can't wait to see more backstory!!
3825142 Curious, is queen the only thing that's throwing you from liking this story? I myself had to get used to the idea that the author decided to give Celestia the title of 'queen' and I think even the author notices that it's not something to be used lightly. Lauren Faust herself actually stated that in her original ideas, she wanted Celestia to be queen and Luna to be a princess and that she only wanted two Alicorns, not that the latter part means anything to this story and I'm just throwing that in here for canon sake. But what I'm trying to get to is wondering why it is you don't like this story?
A flashback to 2 AR? I wonder what these 'tea kettles' are...
Wow I love this fic! I was pretty critical in the begining but allow. Doubts have been dispelled. This is a truly great work of literature and I am eager for more! I loved the interaction between far travel and AB, it was, in a word, superb. If you are reading this, stop and go back to writing! Not to pressure you or anything. I can't wait for more!
3827436 I'm guessing it's a steam turbine.
3825648
I made sure to ask Xepher about this first since I'm just an editor/prereader, but he gave me the okay to respond. Thanks, bro.
First off:
Patience you must have, my young ponywan. In time will things be made clear.
Second:
Thanks. Xepher is doing a great job all on his own, but we on the editing staff are doing our best to back him up and make sure things all stay consistent.
Third:
We've gone back and forth a couple times on some of the dialogue with the CMCs and others, as well as some of the characterizations, but it's been a blast. I'm really starting to like Apple Bloom in particular.
Lastly:
Both Xepher and myself have noticed a couple of comments to this effect on the "Queen Celestia" issue. Not so much on the FlutterCord (I'm sticking to that one) front. There was a logical reason for it with the mane 6 all being alicorns now, plus Luna and Cadence. Thanks for giving it a chance. I'm sure it will all work out in the end. There might be a really interesting twist on the FlutterCord front at the very, very end. No promises though.
3829853
dracenquus:
Actually spelled "draconequus" on the wiki, "dragonokis" on the Hub's site, "draconequis" on the TV closed captions, and "draconaquis" on the Netflix closed captions:
Pronounced "dra-CON-i-kiss" on the show by Cheerilee
Cite S2Ep1: "The Return of Harmony: Part 1"
3795173 Thanks, and yeah, the "all alicorns" thing, I completely understand, as I did that on purpose. I wanted to show that proper characters and storytelling have nothing to do with some hierarchical power-level, canon or not. MLP isn't pokemon, and even making all six alicorns doesn't really solve any problems. It is, however, fun to write Pinkie Pie doing loops.
3825044 Thank you, I've worked really hard on that. I started off with a "notes" document longer than many stories I've written. After finishing the prior story my head was just swimming with ideas, and for every one of them that makes it directly into the story, there's probably three or four more that don't, but which I allude to as background details. My struggle is, of course, to keep it from becoming too confusing for a reader that hasn't been living in my same headspace for the past several months.
3825090 Thanks! Hopefully have another new one up soon as well. Working on it now actually.
3825142 Well, I am of course sorry you feel that way, but I do thank you for the honest feedback. I know this story has had a rough start, but I like to think it's been improving into something more palatable. The "Queen Celestia" thing... yeah, that's a choice I made, as I felt it would be a natural evolution as they keep adding more "Princesses" but I understand why it doesn't work for some people.
3826102 Heh, and I was just going to say that myself... Faust herself originally had her as Queen, and that was part of my inspiration for doing so. Not that it's an excuse, just part of a reason, the choice was mine and I made it.
3825409 Nope, still updating! I may be slow at times, but I'm persistent, I promise. Glad it's improving as I go. It's quite apparent that the opening to this one was a flop.
3825586 I was worried AB's rant/tirade wouldn't work, but my editors assured me it was great. Glad to hear readers agreeing. As for moving the thing. They can't use magic near it, so freezing the ground isn't exactly an option. Also, it's loose sand, which doesn't have enough moisture to freeze solid, even if you could get mechanical refrigeration out there. Don't worry though, Sky Chaser will have a solution.
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3825648 Thanks! The dialog... I think it was easier than it should have been, because I already had them speaking rather maturely in the previous story. That said, I did actively try to think of them as older, with a now-long history of friendship between them. As Dusk Watch mentioned, definitely got some help from prereaders in keeping that on track and in character though. Same with the backstory and details. Like I mentioned before, the ideas in my head are much more numerous than those directly used, so by this point, it's become easy for me to "see" this universe and treat it as real. As for Diamond and Silver... Yeah, haven't forgotten them or Babs, or several of the other foals.
3827436 3831297 Well, it is mechanical and steam-based... The rest will be explained at the start of the next chapter, so you won't have to wait long.
3831099 As mentioned (a lot!) the opening is obviously the worst choice I've made, but I'm very glad to know you find things improving! Thank you for sticking it out. And yes, I'll get back to writing shortly!
3832424 Funny how I'm still a fairly new new fan and know all this stuff about MLP. Anyways, can't wait for the next chapter
As long as the sand has silica, couldn't they heat it to make chunks of glass and then move them?
3832017 Well, actually, Equus is the Latin for Horse, not Okis or Equis. Therefore, Dracon or Dragonequus would be most logical.
3832501 Naw, I'm alright. It certainly got the point across of how strong them ponies are. XD
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Welcome to the herd.
3835890 Been 5 months, but thanks
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Oi! 'Tis a wee baba foal, 'tis. How precious!
I've been here since season 1. But you're in good company, so again I say welcome! Enjoy all the wonderful (and sometimes not so great) content this fandom creates. It's truly one of the most prolific fandoms I have ever seen.
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LOL! Let's see, may I brag a little bit? Over 80 stories read/following here on FIMfiction, thousands of chapters, watched each episode at least twice (a couple because of my little sister), dozens of artists on DeviantArt followed, read a full series of one of the Dr. Whooves comics on DA (the one with the cyber ponies), following probably 30 other series, listened to each of the 'Dr. Whooves and His Assistant' audio drama episodes on YouTube (which has gotten me into Dr. Who, I'm not a brony but made an anti-brony Trekkie mad by saying we get to enjoy more of a Q-sona (lol!); I'm in the process of drawing my OP Stallion; beginning working with ideas on a 'Daring Do' book series starting with Book 1 that was first introduced in the show; oh and I'm starting to do YouTube reviews
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That's awesome! Happy to hear you're enjoying everything so much. dl.dropbox.com/u/31471793/FiMFiction/Emoticons/misc_Lyra.png May the chocolate rain and cotton candy clouds never cease.
I'm right there with you on reading fiction and deviantArt stuff. Not much of an artist or writer myself, but I do as much editing and/or pre-reading as my time allows. (Like on the story here, for example. My talents lay in polish and post-production.)
Best of luck in all that you create. And don't forget to check out some of the awesome original music and remixes that go along with the fandom.
Also, a quick shout out to Mattings over on dA for his help in bringing Dusk Watch (that handsome OC pegasus stallion on the left there) to life.
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Indeed! JanAnimations and some of the other fan works has re-inspired me to start trying to draw again. I'm not that great of an artist and not the best story writer, but I've been writing fanfics since 2008 when I started watching Digimon again. Digimon, Power Rangers, and pretty much some of the older 90's stuff. My OP to the left was drawn by Skyrore, on deviantart, by request. It's my OP in my Megaligo Power Ranger suit.
These stories are really good. Here is a cookie :3
fling.seas.upenn.edu/~asme/dynamic/wordpress/wp-content/uploads/2012/09/cookie.jpg
Xepher, is there going to be a chapter going deeper into fluttershy and discord's relationship? I was wonder because in the previous chapters, only parts are about it. Also, I'd just like to see more of it. I can't wait for "Rock candy"! This book is amazing!
3859122 Thanks! Just what I always wanted "Control of all time and space! Control of the entire universe, past and present! And... a cookie!"
3871050 I'm not writing a ship-fic, but that relationship wasn't just a throw-away excuse to be wacky or anything either. We will definitely see more of them (and in more depth) in future chapters. And thanks! Glad to hear you like the story so far.
On that note, quick status update. I've got 10,000 words of the next chapter (Rock Candy) finished. I thought I'd be done by the time I got that many words, but it's getting longer as the characters grow in my head. Definite progress has been made and continues to be made though, and it'll probably be even a bit longer than Tomb Raiders (Chapter 2) when finished.
Another mini status update: Unfortunately, no progress since last update. I really do feel horrible about that, but Real Life® got in the way. I had a friend visiting from out of state for a week, then on top of that, we had an epic snow storm up here that meant just going out to get lunch was like an arctic expedition. The snow resulted in cancelled flights, and meant I had a house guest for an extra three days. On top of that, I came down with a cold meaning even when I had hour or so to myself, I could barely stand to sit upright.
Anyway, chapter 4 is still at 10,000 words, and will be longer when complete, so it will be a fairly big update when done at least. Forecasts currently call for clearing social obligations after this weekend, and I believe two solid evenings of writing should let me wrap up the chapter once I can get that time in.
Oh, and got more fanart, this time from Epicmancan:
fc02.deviantart.net/fs70/f/2014/043/d/a/untitled_by_epicmancan-d767m7u.jpg
Thanks again to all my readers for your amazing patience (and art!) You guys are the best!
This is awesome!! And I'm completely elated and exited and well, even a little surprised you showed my art. Thanks and I'm really looking forward to the next chapter!
Status Update: Holy cow this thing grew on me! I'm over 20,000 words now, and still going. That's too big for a single chapter, so it's being split. I just sent chapter 4 to my prereaders, and it comes in around 9,000 words. The newly-split chapter 5 is currently around 11,000 words and I'm still working on the tail end of that. Depending on how much free time my editors have, I'm hoping chapter 4 will go up early next week, and then chapter 5 within a week of that. As always, my apologies for the super long wait, but expect 20-25 thousand words of updates over the next couple of weeks. Hopefully it will have been worth the wait. (And now that I haven't updated in so long, even I'm actually nervous about that.)
Man am I hyped for chapter four!!!! I just can't wait! This is such a good freakin story!! I'm hoping that the pre readers will find the time to get this thing out because I have been waiting forever!! I will check back every day to see wether it's up or not. I just got a snow storm so I have the time.
Absolutely loving this story - great work!
But a bit of nitpicking here... I'm the sort of guy that crunches numbers when I read stuff like details about airships. Based on the dimensions of the balloon of the Walrus (cylindrical, 60 feet long by 15 feet wide), and assuming it's filled with Helium or Hydrogen, then it could carry no more than about 300 kg, or 660 pounds. That seems a bit wimpy, considering it's carrying the weight of the gondola, a steam engine, water for the engine, more water for ballast and 2 ponies.
By doubling the dimensions of the envelope, from 60-by-15 feet to 120-by-30, you multiply the lifting power by 8, putting it at about 2400 kg, or over 5200 pounds. That's roughly in the right ballpark for the size of the gondola, though I'd probably make it twice as long again, ie. 240-by-30 feet for a lifting capability of around 4800 kg, slightly over 10,000 pounds.
Rough rule of thumb for the lifting powers of Hydrogen or Helium: 1 cubic metre lifts 1 kilogram, or 1 cubic foot lifts 1 ounce. Handy coincidence I always thought. Not the numbers you'd want to use if you were trying to build an airship in the real world, but close enough for rough estimates, or to make fictitious airships very plausible.
4723388 <-- The face I make when someone actually notices/does the math!
And yes, I did actually do the math on this, coming up with roughly the same numbers you did. First off, keep in mind that the numbers in the story are what Far Travel is seeing/estimating visually, so there's a small, but decent fudge factor I intentionally built in there. E.g. it's entirely possible it's really sixty six feet long, and actually eighteen wide. Secondly, it's meant to be just barely possible.
Apple Bloom designed and built this thing to be the fastest, smallest airship that could actually transport the three of them (for relatively short journeys in decent weather.) The deck isn't typical, heavy decking, but a laminate honeycomb structure for the most part. Keep in mind, this thing was made before the loss of magic due to the Hole, and I figure unicorn magic is a pretty good substitute for fine machinery when it comes to detailed/precise manufacturing. The ballast system Apple Bloom talks about inventing only uses about 5-7 gallons of water usually, and it's spread through a series of small channels in the deck structure itself, not large tanks. She had to put more water in as they were leaving because there were only two ponies on board, not the usual CMC trio. You'll also note how the deck/hull is only "a foot or two thick" when Far Travel looks at it. Really, it's closer to six inches or so in most places, but there are skids along the outside (and a few other structures) to avoid damage to the thinner parts if they set down on rough ground.
As for the engine, it's about the size and weight of a small go kart engine, so fifty pounds or so. However, as it's powered by equuium... well, more on that in the next couple of chapters.
Bottom line, the 'Lumbering Walrus" is named ironically, and is the bleeding edge of fast and light airship design. The smaller/minimal envelope size allows faster travel, more maneuverability, and the ability to squeeze into places and landing areas bigger things couldn't fit. It just can't carry much, and certainly has no provisions/shelter for traveling more than a half day or so, and would be a really miserable ride in inclement weather. It is to normal, passenger airships, what an swamp/airboat is to a ferry. I put the numbers into the story as they were, both so that all readers could better visualize the look of the thing in general, but also, just on the off chance, if anyone DID run the numbers, they'd be able to see, "wait, this is almost impossibly small for an airship." That's not because I screwed up the math as an author, but rather, because Apple Bloom is that clever!
4725096 My bad for not taking into account the Applebloom factor
Now that I think about it, the gondola seems to be roughly the same size and shape as a dinghy. Visualising that helps.
I must admit, I do like coming across this sort of thing - fictional vehicles and constructions and such that have been properly thought out by their authors. I figured there would be a fudge factor, since you did say that the dimensions were estimates, and that magic would play a part, but given the weakened state of magic at that point, it couldn't have been a deciding factor so much as a small nudge making a small improvement.
As for Equium, I really like the stuff. Clearly based on Uranium or something similar, hopefully with less radioactivity My first thought about it was that it was sort of a magical version of Uranium, but with magic being siphoned away, I have to wonder if Equium will be less powerful as time goes on. Either that or lead is about to be very much in demand
Ooh, I think I just figured out where you might be going with the Equium - and if I'm right, then I am very impressed!
Uh oh, it looks like we have a cult on the move somewhere. Either that, or Nemesis left some more failsafes that are only now activating to make an obelisk move like that.
I see you got excited and liberally sprayed your word porn all over the screen with the details on the airship. The first airship I've seen described in ponyfiction is the Harmony from End of Ponies, and so I've been a bit spoiled by that, but the Walrus still comes up strong. Really, the only jarring detail is that Apple Bloom decides to take the airship to Canterlot when there's a perfectly good unicorn literally right there whom could presumably take Bloom and Far Travel to Canterlot before teleporting back, all in a few minutes work.
Apple Bloom don't take any backtalk, it seems. I'm strongly reminded of the season 4 episode 'Somepony to Watch Over Me', where Scootaloo tells Sweetie Belle she has to sleep like AB, Sweetie asks how AB sleeps, and Scootaloo responds , "Y'know, with sass!"
6396816 Perhaps this wasn't clear enough in the story, but with magic weakened by the new proximity of the planet to the hole, teleporting isn't an option. That's why AB asked Sweetie if she was okay with her taking the ship. Without it Sweetie now has to walk home (and down a thousand feet of stairs or so.)
She obviously still has some magic, I think their magic is special, when in not in direct contact with those things they aren't as heavily hampered by the effects of the magic drain.