Ugh, last night I had the craziest dream. In it, I was living with a bunch of lazy and rude ponies. At one point, a fat hairy guy burst down the door of our house and said I was a human. Heck, my reaction was “I’m a wat?” (I know, it sounds like I’m an uneducated filly. But hey, it’s a dream.) Anyways, I ended up going to a school for humans and made some friends. Eventually, I had to face an evil human known as “Trollemort”. In the end, he died and all the trolls that were following him fled for their lives. It was a very interesting dream.
But anyways, I’m not here to write about silly dreams! This is my biography. Obviously, someone will want to read my story on how I eventually became human. Poor Bon Bon will always regret the day she wanted to hate my fandom. Mwahahahaha.
So today, I kind of…tricked Twilight into stealing a book from the royal library. But don’t blame me on that. It was important because it was a book about the humans. I never knew such a book existed! It was very important for my human studies (And of course, this was very crucial for my main mission: Becoming a human). Did you know that the humans have a fandom about us? I know, it is hard to believe. I mean, it must be for mature audiences because the major curse words like “jerk” (Oh hayseeds. I told myself I would never use that strong of a word). Heck, if I learned that they had a word worse than the J word, I would have a heart attack and die! Overall, the book was very interesting.
Another interesting piece of news was that I got a letter from the princess. When I got it, I was jumping for joy and acting like an animal. Oh what wonders surly were in here. Did she hear about my interest in anthropology? I opened the letter franticly and read it.
Dear Lyra Harpstrings,
My faithful student, Twilight, told me that you were having mental problems. So here’s a banana. They always cure everything.
, Princess Celestia
A banana?!?! Is this some type of joke? Eh, forget her. I immediately started to work on ideas for becoming a human.
I’ve finally come up with an idea that I think will work! Maybe if I can fuse human DNA into my body; a reaction will occur. Hopefully it will turn me human. But wait…where am I supposed to get human DNA? I mean, there are no humans around right now, what will I do?
Later, I took a break and walked outside for a while. Big mistake. Pinkie came hopping up to me, asking if peanuts were made of magic or fairies… I seriously wonder what is going on in her head. I mean, one minute she is walking along idly. The next moment, bang! She is talking about peanuts or “hub logos”. Soon, she lost interest in me and started chasing a bunch of children (the poor children). After a while, I saw Bon Bon in the distance. I was about to turn around and go the opposite direction. But then she saw me. She kept talking about how she wasn’t hating or anything. Ha! That’s obviously a lie. Everyone in this town is a lie! And they all call me crazy! What is wrong with having a human fandom? The humans have a fandom with ponies. What is the difference? But finally, I decided to play around with her and told her that I accepted her apology. Immediately, we got into a conversation about me becoming a human. By the end of the conversation, she was telling me how I was acting “a little more insane and aggressive than usual today.” Well, there she goes to hating again.
Geez, I just realized that today, I haven’t been coming up with any human transformation ideas yet. Sure, there was that one idea, but it was a terrible idea. I don’t know…I’m tired. But I’m not giving myself a proper amount of rest until I’m human. After that, I can rest all I want. Right.
See ya,
Lyra
p.s. I’M NOT INSANE! I’M NORMAL!
Yay! A 2nd chapter. This chapter is too short. It needs more Lyra.
Lyra...if only you knew that Pinkie Pie has a vast knowledge of humans.
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Thanks for the advice. I will try to make them longer. And of course, more Lyra.
You're right, Pinkie knows a lot more than Lyra knows. She also has one of the darkest sides in all of MLP fan fiction. (I mean Cupcakes)
Of course, I would never use Cupcakes as a reference. And if I did, I would never hint out that I would.
Or would I?
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Chapters that are less than one thousand words are too short in my opinion but that's just me.
I don't know how you can add more Lyra into a story about Lyra. I guess the mirror pond could do the trick but that won't help turn her into a human...or could it. Nopony knows how old the mirror pond is. It could contain ancient human DNA.
(Maybe an idea for a latter chapter)
I like muffins better than cupcakes. I'm sorry Pinkie...please don't turn me into a cupcake for my blasphemy.
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Don't worry, she would never turn you to a cupcake for that. She would probably turn Derpy to a cupcake to rid herself of the competition.
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If Pinkie Pie hurt sweet muffin-loving Derpy...I would have to destroy Pinkie Pie. Pinkie might think she is a god with her 4th wall breaking and world bending powers but I would break apart universes to get my revenge. Time and space would collapse across the whole multiverse. Nothing would stop me from saving the muffin princess.
I would do the same for Lyra and Fluttershy.
Time to go read about the cutie mark crusaders sleepover at octavia's
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I guess I better not kill off Derpy.
I'm not saying I would write that. All I said was that Pinkie would probably do that on her own. But yeah, past experience has told me: When you kill off a character in a Fan fic, you are waging a war you cannot win. (I wonder then, why isn't their a war over Cupcakes? I've actually noticed people joking about it.)
The banana! It has 50% of our DNA! Lyrra can use it!
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Nope! They are 50% me! Celestia, stop.
/ \
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Should've seen it coming.
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Wat? It's true isn't it?
/
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wellll...
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Eat me! Eat me!
/
(sorry, i'm starting to act weird now.)
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eh...I dunno...
(I got tears from laughing)
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You can write whatever you want. It's your story.
I'm writing a story and all the mane 6 die. (all at the same time)
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"And everypony died. The End!"
Anyways, good luck on that story! I know I will want read it when it is published.
Wait...did you say Rainbow Dash dies?..........
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The mane 6 die in the middle of the story. It's far from the end.
Of course RD dies. Sad but true. It hurts me to kill the coolest Pegasus in the world.