Applejack has a chance encounter with a dapper businesspony who wants to make a few changes to the Sweet Apple Acres business plan. In the ensuing changes, friendships are challenged, a family is transformed overnight, and the once-quiet orchard becomes an apex of employ. Will Applejack be able to weather this storm, or will she be swept up in the rush of wealth?
Cover image courtesy of ~SammyJammyFTW (http://sammyjammyftw.deviantart.com/#/d4rsjyp)
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Wow. You're up on top 1 day, then you lose it all. Glad Applejack is returning to normal.
I love this idea, and it was really well written for the most part. I liked seeing the new, rich Apple Family. "Ee-quite"
But your resolution wasn't particularly satisfying. Sure, the family was different, but nothing truly negative was happening. And Applejack didn't seem to be really acting like a jerk enough for Twi and Rarity to react like they did, so the climax kinda felt forced imo.
Very well written, I enjoyed it. While I do agree with Yacob's points to a degree it was a fun story.
Wonderful story! I, too, loved "Ee-quite"!
Good
Congrats on the feature at EqD! Ee-quite!
This really did pan out like a real episode. Compact, complete, and no questions at the end. Well done! :)
Did not like.
I am profoundly tired of the hostile, hate-the-rich philosophy. Applejack's farm finally gets successful-- due to common sense business practices like advertising and hiring help--- and her whole family turns into snobby prats? What? What? Hello? Is this thing on?
And DRAGON OUT OF NOWHERE!!! Hello, try again? Deus ex Machina at its worst.
"Hurt the land?" HOW? Are you just pulling these plotpoints out of a bin someplace?
And of course having her farm torched and all her hard earned wealth STOLEN brings her back to her noble-yet-poor ways.
You MIGHT have had a point with her ad slogans being questionably honest, but it was lost in the howl of "wealthy equals evil!" drowning everything else out.
God above how I hate this wretched neo-Marxist philosophy. Bill Gates and Steve Jobs are heroes of the working man-- till they become rich, then suddenly they're "the Man." Garage Band X is awesome--- till they finally hit the big time, then they've "sold out." Thomas Edison bootstraps himself up as an inventor and revolutionizes the world with his discoveries, and is praised--- til it becomes popular to hate the successful, then he's a "fraud" and a "cheat" and the inferior of his competitor Tesla, who was a raving lunatic and died a broke failure.
Hard work and honesty are to be lauded and praised, so long as they never ever pay out.
Kind of...odd. Liked it though.
I see some of my complaints have already been addressed, so I'll bring up a few new points:
SAA - Sweet Apple Acres is rather large to only supply Ponyville. It would be impossible to make use of even a fourth their harvest in such a small town; keep in mind they retrieve three or four buckets of apples per tree and had what looked to be literal acres of trees spaces only a meter or two apart.
The rest of the Apple Family-the whole Apple family seems to be involved, in some way, with apples; harvesting, baking, cider production, etc. Even those starting a new town in land that doesn't readily nurture large crops have an orchard going. The Apple family itself is rather large.
All of this suggests that the family, as a whole, sells under a single logo to those near their farm. Seeing as they must do something during the winter, they probably either store locally then ship/sell intermittently or sell whole harvests in one go; said piles of apples are then distributed, sold, stored, etc. We have evidence ofr Applejack doing both.
Not storing to sell during winter would be a grim indicator of how well their civilization is doing; Apples are not the only food they subsist on, but almost all the vegetables they eat do not grow during the late fall/winter so the cold months would be a dance with starvation and death for even prosperous ponies.
In regards to distribution, it simply makes sense for each orchard to only distribute within certain regions if SSA is not, somehow, the only Apple family apple orchard for half a continent. After all, one orchard would certainly produce enough apples to supply two or three nearby towns if SAA is any indication of their size and this removes the need to ship apples long distances.
What strikes me is how Wintergreen got this entire thing DESIGNED AND PRINTED not to mention renting out billboard!
At least they can finally fix Granny Smith's hip.
My only REAL grip here is now fast the profits came in and how quickly things were rebuilt.
AJ shouldn't have invested in those gems. I can see where this will go a million miles away.
“Twilight! I need your help!” she cried. “I’ve created a monster!”
New Fluttershy all over again?
Carts full of apples were pulled to and fro, making Twilight dizzy as she tried to follow the pattern.
You think this would make Twilight ecstatic seeing all the ORGANIZATION.
Attached to the side was a gigantic, two-story mansion, styled like the early days of Ponyville, but with plenty of modern aesthetic elements.
In just a few weeks? Okay. Now this is just plain silly.
“I was gonna git me that hip surgery yesterday,” she said, cackling, “but I figured I should do it all at once when I go for my good ol’ fashioned plastic surgery. Gonna git my old face fixed up, ya hear? Look like one o' them fancy ponies in the papers!” She laughed, and kept on rocking back and forth in her chair.
If the market implodes on them and Granny can't even get her hip fixed, that would be just MEAN.
“That scoundrel, Wintergreen,” said Rarity.
Reminds me of she blamed Iron Will for Fluttershy's changed.
To be frank, this story seems to hold the message that it was WRONG for AJ to provide a better life for her family. I get that power corrupts and money and power are conjoined twins. But something about the whole scenario seems, forced.
The dragon TOOK AWAY Applejack's decision on WHAT WAS the right thing to do. It was an EX MACHINA.
Not to mention the countless ponies who AJ's new business was giving jobs to who are now unemployed.
And Wintergreen, while shrewd and with a mind focused on profit, had held up every bargain and agreement he made with AJ. It seems odd that ONE disaster was enough for him to flee to parts unknown.
There was a arabian nights story of a beggar who had the same face as a spoiled king, who as a joke took him in his sleep and had him take his place in court for a day with everyone ordered to play along. Then the next day dump him back on the street in his sleep. "Poverty into luxury and back into poverty, that's enough to drive anyone mad." IN PARTICULAR with HOW FAST it happened!
The characterization is off. Even before everypony changed, nopony's quite right. And once they do change, it's almost absurdist. Their new personalities, the opulence, everything. I'd add a comedy tag if I were you. Otherwise people will suspect you didn't mean to do that.
And the nerve of Wintergreen! He was conspiring with that dragon to convert AJ's money to gems then steal it, it's quite clear. That's got to be illegal.
293620 Give Tesla some credit; he tried to invent things like death rays. He was the best kind of raving lunatic. And Tesla coils are pretty neat too. That's why Tesla's cooler than Edison, and don't believe anybody who gives different reasons. Or disagrees. They're just jealous Tesla wanted to distribute electricity through the air using giant Tesla coils and screw anybody who gets electrocuted by standing up straight while being too tall first, robbing them of the opportunity to claim that idea as their own.